The remaining of the visit to Kraut is... indescript, I suppose, would be a better option. Nothing more of importance was discussed, the last three days devoted solely to working out the schedules and setting up dates and agreements for who, when, how much, what for and other assorted sundries. The situation with Kassandra had been tactfully shoved out of attention by everyone involved, the official version simply being that "master artificer from Champagne fashioned magical eyes out of exceedingly rare ingredients by royal request". I'm not sure why Alphonse was so nonchalant about claiming the agency on this one, but then again... Royal seer is essentially one of his closest personal retainers, it does stand to reason that he would take an opportunity to reward her for years of faithful service once it presented itself. He also doesn't seem to be making much of a secret that the master artificer in question is me, and actually insists that I must receive some kind of payment from him specifically for "invaluable aid rendered".
Since I'm not really interested in being seen as extortionist (Father disagrees, by the way. By his reckoning, I should have outright asked for money from Alphonse. He DOES concede that having Alphonse offer the reward himself was a better option in the end.), we settle the deal with a present of rare alcohol from king's personal cellars. As such, I'm a proud owner of six crates full of assorted riesling and lemberger, ages ranging from fifteen years to a full hundred. In addition to this, I have two kegs of bock lager. Well, as far as I remember, that is. I have promptly forgotten Kraut names while trying to come up with suitable analogs from my own memories. Klaus is thankfully absent. Not sure if he's simply busy or cognizant of the fact I'm plotting to murder him once over every time I'm reminded of his continued existence.
Spreading myself over the Berlinger was... lukewarm in results, let's say. I got some interesting data, but Klaus himself keeps a tight reign on his stuff, and according to my observations, actively tamper-proofs pretty much everything. While I can get to his papers if I really want to, there is no reasonable way to do so quickly without drawing a lot of attention. So, most of my mass that I leave in Berlinger is now concentrated within the Merchant Guild, with a couple of clandestine burrowers slowly grinding their way through the castle walls. Over time, I should have some good observation points and sabotage the security in covert ways sufficiently to have a good idea of what Klaus is up to at all times.
It is the last day before the departure, and I have just finished conversing with representatives of the Merchant Guild. As Klaus had promised in the beginning of our visit here, they came to offer their apologies and restitution. It is clear that they are doing so only because Klaus ordered them to, and are distinctly discomfited by the fact they have to "admit" to wrongdoing that was not of their making. As such, their apologies, while quite glib, are obviously pre-written and lack any actual contrition. Furthermore, the visitors are strictly the representatives of sea traders dominating the south of Kraut. Which is odd, because Berlinger is a landlocked city. And yet, I'm not presented even with a token member of land traders. Curious.
The restitution they initially offer is grain and coin. And while I can accept the last, I have exactly zero intention or ability to load what comes to five tons of grain on the airship. Explaining that to the merchants, amusingly enough, lifts their spirits noticeably. They're startled when I point that out, but after some needling, admit that their guild was plagued by a persistent rumor that I intend to use airships to force them out of business. So finding out my airship isn't up to taking even two quintals of grain, much less a dozen of them sets them at ease. I tactfully avoid mentioning that I could potentially design jumbo zeppelins that could compete with ships on equal terms in cargo lift. It's a huge investment and unnecessary in any case. For now, at least. After some negotiation, we renegotiate their compensation to be offered in form of assorted exotic samples and foreign trinkets. Well, and a selection of local delicacies and specialties. We part ways soon after, both feeling much more sanguine about the achieved deal. Me, because I managed to talk them into providing rare seeds and saplings of several plants that are not endemic to Champagne and hard to obtain there. Them, because in their local prices, they managed to "talk me down" to slash off almost a quarter off the sum they were prepared to expend on placating me and thus left with feelings of coy accomplishment.
I say coy accomplishment because I have put some surveillance on them, and while Kraut language stumps me a lot, I can figure out the general gist of a conversation, and what I am hearing is a mix of "she's not as avaricious as we thought" and "a little bit of this and that is far less of a burden than a lot of one thing". I imagine the grain idea was Klaus doing his level best to annoy me with petty shit, because he of all people should have had the fucking idea that I can't fit a dozen quintals of grain on the zeppelin. Not to mention that grain is the most common and unremarkable product there is.
However, once they get back to the guild, there is a bit of kerfuffle between them and a couple of other merchants. Or, more precisely, there are two clearly delineated factions, and my visitors are happily reporting to one of them, while the other (dressed in simpler clothes and possessing of rougher exteriors) is split between listening in and grumbling that they were excluded from talks. Land traders, no doubt. A bit of eavesdropping later, I pinpoint their apparent leader - a wiry man with the blackest bushiest beard I have ever seen in this world. He is referred to as "Herr Munchausen" by his fellows and with irritated snorts by the southern faction. Much to my surprise, he leaves the guild shortly after midday and heads towards his own business, presumably... Yes, a fairly well-sized shop occupying the corner of the marketplace. It is titled as "Munchausen's Emporium" and seems to be a sort of general store cum thrift shop, because his clerks seem to buy assorted stuff from people almost as often as they sell something.
I think I want to talk to herr Munchausen. As such, I shift my mass towards the tailing eyespider in the out of sight corner, and ask Bridgit to blink over to me. Then we both stroll out into the marketplace. It takes me but two minutes to catch a boy running by by the scruff.
"Lozn mir geyn, modne mentsh!1Let me go, strange person!" - I suppose I deserved that. Still, I have means of persuasion. Keeping my grasp firm, I hold up a crownmark before his eyes. Urchin stills immediately, looking at the coin attentively. I let go of his clothes, and he predictably remains right where he is, listening to me. Money talks, yes.
"Willst verdienen? Notiz mitbringen Herr Münchhausen.2Want earn? Note bring herr Munchausen." - I butcher Kraut mercilessly. His face screws up in confusion, but clears up quickly as I hand him the note and dangle the coin in front of him again. He snatches the note up and disappears into the shop at a run. Some shouting erupts in a moment, but given the lack of his forcible ejection, it seems I`ve picked a resourceful messenger. Indeed, he comes up in five minutes, bringing a neatly dressed young man in tow.
"Many pardons, but are you the foreign ladies who wanted to speak with herr Munchausen?" - the man asks me in fluent, if somewhat accented Albish.
"Indeed. Care to show us in?" - I offer, tossing the coin to the kid. He grabs it and shouts "File danken, fremd dame!3Many thanks, foreign lady!", disappearing in a nondescript direction. Holy shit, does the boy run.
I'm led into the shop, and straight past clerks up the stairs. We pass a couple rooms that are clearly offices... and past a heavy door which seems to delineate the business and private parts of the building. Very curious. Finally, I am guided into a sitting room of a sort, already occupied by herr Munchausen himself.
"Good job, Adolph." - he offers in Albish, his accent similar but much less noticeable - "Tell Edna to set up some tea and refreshments, if you please."
He sketches a shallow bow to me, as Adolph leaves the room, offering - "Jungfrau Gillespie... I am Gustaf Munchausen. What do I owe the honor of this visit? Oh, before anything, please have a seat. Pardon me, I am a little discombobulated right now."
I sit down as he suggests, taking up one of the chairs. Bridgit gracefully settles into another next to me. Gustaf sits back into his own, across the small table. "Good day to you, herr Munchausen." - I begin - "I have been visited by a delegation from the Berlinger Merchant Guild today, but much to my surprise, all of the people present were southern merchants. It strikes me as strange that the Guild would be represented solely by sea merchants in the landlocked city. As such, I have decided that paying a visit to someone in the know, such as you, is in order."
"Yene mmzrim!4Those bastards!" - he grumbles - "Pardon me. You are right, by all rights I should have been included in that delegation. To offer my own apologies for the offenses 'our' servant caused, if nothing else."
I can practically hear the quotes around "our". That just won't do. "Herr Munchausen, you and I both know that the servant in question answers to Klaus, not to Merchant Guild." - I admonish him lightly - "So do not bother with apologies. I am well aware you had no say in this, nor did Guild. Klaus simply used you as an excuse."
He sighs and nods. "It is as you say, jungfrau Gillespie." - he agrees - "Well then, what can I really help you with, in that case? To elaborate on your earlier question, the Guild roster assigns seniority per wealth, so while my house is one of the founding ones and I always have a vote in the Guild, sea merchants outrank and outnumber me and mine by a lot, and thus, have a free hand to exclude us at their whim." He pauses, blinks, leans towards Bridgit.
"If you pardon my curiosity..." - he begins slowly - "Would you happen to be... of house Baumhoff?"
Bridgit nods slowly. "I am." - she agrees - "Bridgit Baumhoff, maid of my lady Gillespie."
He heaves a shuddering sigh. "Geter in himl!5Gods in heaven!" - he says quietly, looking downwards - "You did survive then. Bridgit, you probably do not remember me, but your father Kristoff was my friend and partner. I'm deeply sorry I couldn't be there when he... when he..."
Bridgit shakes her head. "I do remember you, feter6uncle Gustaf." - she offers - "I was actually trying to make my way back to Berlinger to find you when I was found by master Gillespie. Sorry to say, but I was fearful of the journey across the mountains, and when master Gillespie offered me to become a maid in his household, I took the offer."
She smiles and leans towards me - "But it is for the best, because otherwise I would not be able to meet my mistress and become her maid."
Munchausen smiles wanly. "Well, I am glad you have found your place in the world." - he offers - "I was hoping that maybe... Ah, nevermind. That deal had been closed years ago."
Bridgit leans over the table and pats his hand lightly. "All is well now, feter7uncle Gustaf. But I must ask. Would you happen to suspect who was it who sent assassins after my father?" - she proffers.
"Suspect, sure. It was that thrice-damned Verwaand!" - he retorts, his eyes lighting up with anger - "Cowardly bastard currently resides in Champagne, as far as I know, wealthy and careless! Agh, what would I not give to wring his neck for what he's done to you!"
Bridgit smiles at him again. "Ah, good, you do know." - she offers - "In that case..." She suddenly cuts herself off and looks towards me - "Mistress, may I tell?" I nod to her. Munchausen has plenty of reasons to hate Verwaand and zero to sell us out. Might as well score some brownie points with the man.
"Wait, wait. Tell me what?" - he asks, befuddled.
"My lady Alyssa had found out what Maximilien Verwaand did." - she continues - "He admitted everything, feter8uncle Gustaf. And he paid for his crime properly."
Herr Munchausen blinks. Blinks again. Leans forward. "Paid for his crime, you say?" - he offers in a loud whisper.
"I've strangled him with a piece of wire." - I tell him blandly - "A suitable alternative to hanging, I believe. Bridgit had witnessed his end personally. A little present for my favorite maid."
He recoils back... Then bursts out in a bout of bitter laughter. "A present, indeed." - he chortles, calming down - "Jungfrau Gillespie, you have my heartfelt thanks for taking care of Bridgit... and for avenging Kristoff. It is a cold comfort, but comfort nonetheless. Would you two join me in raising the glass in his memory?"
Oh maaaaan why is Klaus so petty as hell. I wonder, does he actually know Alyssa is planning on murdering him again? All it'd take is for Alyssa to sick him with a tiny spider. Wonder why she didn't do that immediately when they were in the castle. Hardly anybody notices a spider the size of a skin flake if it's not right up in your face.
Mainly, because Klaus karking it in the castle to odd causes would be hell of an incident. Why do it while you`re "there" if you can easily have your alibi by being in other country instead?
Ah I meant like sic a spider on him to spy on him. My bad for very misleading sentence. (I forgot to add the spy part, whoopsie)
@ExorcistJoker That`s done, but Klaus has pretty comprehensive security that isn`t easy to screw over even with Shoggoth bullshit. Alyssa had ended up setting parts of herself to drill up into the walls to get to him covertly.
I kinda found it funny how he tried to sabotage her with the merchants by giving her a bad rep, then not including land merchants, and she just bamboozled all that in a day. What's his initial reaction to that?
@ExorcistJoker He doesn`t actually find out until much later. While he has contacts and leverage in the guild, they`re NOT happy with how he handles things. Land traders won`t piss on him if he was on fire, and sea traders respect him but feel he doesn`t give them enough influence. That latest bit with forcing them to shoulder the responsibility for his f*ckup does not improve their opinions of him, either.
He DOES find out that Alyssa did an end run on his scheme with grain, because he still expects Alyssa to react more like a noble then like a merchant, and noble wouldn`t bother looking into the details of thing off the bat. So Klaus expects that Alyssa would end up having a couple wagons of grain delivered to her airship, which would give her a problem. Either she takes the grain and then has to dump it or find some local way to utilize it, or she rejects the grain and gets the reputation of unreliability.
After finding out she instead negotiated assorted exotic sundries, he concedes the successful riposte and moves on, because in his mind "little bit of everything" equals "bored noble wants exotic toys", not "experiment ingredients".
This is another way in which Klaus being homunculus bites him in the ass - he has problem with people not fitting into their own social category. He can partially circumvent the issue by conflating Alyssa the noble with secondary Alyssa the merchant consideration, but he lacks the reference to make Alyssa the scientist consideration because the closest he knows to scientist is scholar, and scholars primarily deal in texts and magic, not in seeds and saplings.
He briefly entertains Alyssa the farmer consideration when he tries to figure out the deal with seeds, but quickly comes to conclusion that there is just no way to conflate that with Alyssa the noble. He can sorta deal with idea of noble being a merchant or a scholar as well, but outright fails to comprehend noble who is being a farmer.
Oh man, his homunculus disadvantage is going to be more and more apparent if he lets go of such a suspicious move with the idea that Alyssa's just buying toys. I'm assuming there's going to be a hell of a lot more of 'Klaus.exe does not compute' the more Alyssa enhances society's technology?
I remember you saying that Thousand Isles is going to be the most advanced country in the world. He's not going to understand any of the technologies there, is he? Especially if she builds something similar to the internet.
@ExorcistJoker Pretty much. By the time firearms get rolled out significantly enough for Alphonse to start asking if he can buy some, Klaus gets to the stage where Alphonse himself goes "well shit, maybe it`s time for a new spymaster".
I bet it's something like: Alyssa explains the mechanisms behind said firearm, and it has no mention of enchantments, just simple physics. No magic required.
Klaus: So where's the enchantment?
@ExorcistJoker More or less.
Actual example I gave was like this... If someone were to explain and demonstrate to Klaus the effect of firearm, he would comprehend it just fine. But, if after that explanation Klaus were to find a body with gunshot wound, his idea would be "That`s a peculiar spell wound." in spite of already knowing how gunshot wound looks like.
Basically, while he can learn new information, he lacks the capacity to tie that new information with any of his older concepts and considers each instance of new information to be a wholly separate unique thing, in spite of them having commonalities.
Oh so like:
Klaus is making detective work, with Alphonse looking over the files. Description reads: hole-shaped wound in person's head. Everything points to it being a firearm, especially when said-bullet is also accounted for.
Alphonse: Someone must've gotten their hands on an unregistered firear-
Klaus: What a spectacular spell wound.
@ExorcistJoker More or less, yes. The incidents like this is what finally prompts Alphonse to decide Klaus deserves to go on retirement at last.
@Cytotoxin that would be amusing though.
"Your majesty, Klaus is dead." The King sighed. "So, how was it this time?" he asked. Hearing how Klaus suffered "accidents" in increasingly creative ways had become a bit of a past-time for the king lately
@Cytotoxin Is Klaus himself aware of his own limitations as a homunculus?
I don't think so. Old Klaus didn't know about it.
Yeah, he didn't or he probably wouldn't have gone through with it in the first place. But surely he must have realized something's wrong even if he can't pinpoint the exact problem, right?
From what I recall (Cytotoxin can correct me if I am wrong) but the guy who invented Homunculi knew about this particular problem, but burned his notes out of anger? Thus not ever letting the old Klaus know about the problem.
And considering current Klaus' disability, even if he were to learn about this problem about homunculi, he wouldn't use that knowledge to pinpoint his own problem. He'd probably be like "This'll affect homunculi" but wouldn't put himself in that group simply because he just doesn't think it.
I remember about Paracelsus. I guess in the end even if Klaus does notice the problem he won't be able to plan around it. He just feels like a sad grandpa with Alzheimer's.
Not even a sad grandpa. More like that creepy uncle that is stubborn about stealing all your stuff.
@ExorcistJoker @MadGod
1) Original Klaus was not aware of the problem because his scholars were working from the earlier notes of Paracelsus, which were left behind in Kraut. Later on, Paracelsus had decisively proved that homunculi are incapable of true learning, but that was only detailed in his latter works, penned during his life in Champagne. As such, homunculi in Champagne are considered little more then magical curios and medical teaching aids. Well, they are also used in executions.
2) Homunculus Klaus CAN acknowledge the problem if someone points it out to him, but just like the rest of new information, he would be unable to connect that factoid with the rest of his knowledge. So he can be in the know about it, yet not demonstrate any factual awareness of thereof.
@Sabruness I would absolutely love for that to come up in an aside section. It might be shown happening when Alphonse decides “ok, time to decommission Klaus and get a newer model that isn’t as messed up.”
@Cytotoxin Alright, I'm just gonna stop reading this convo, cause you're spoiling too much...
@Sabruness means of death
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