Judy had already told me where she would usually leave her keys, but neither did I take them out and enter, nor did I have the courage to call and tell her what happened after she left.

I just set on her doorstep and waited in an absentminded state, thinking about what I was going to say to her when she would finally come home...

I stayed like that for God knows how long before I felt my phone ring.

I already had a fear of hearing my phone ring, but that time as soon as I heard it my heart stopped beating for a second and I remained frozen in the same position as I was before it rang.

I couldn't even move my hand to my bag to see who was calling, I just remind like that till it finally stopped ringing, once it did I finally released the deep breath I was holding.

But that feeling of relief didn't last long as I felt guilt and self-hate for ignoring her like that, but even that didn't last long because soon after my phone started ringing again.

This time, like the last, I couldn't even reach to take it out, and it went like that till the call ended again.

After it did, with a shaking hand I reached for my bag and tried getting my phone out, while I was doing that, it started ringing again, which made me freeze again, but I still went on and took it out.

By the time I did, it stopped ringing, but just as that happened it started again as if the person on the other side was so worried and anxious.

Seeing the name of the person calling I started crying again and didn't know what to do, I knew that I was going to answer that call, I had to, but doing that was hard, way too hard.

Finally, after my phone rang a few other times I gathered my courage and I pressed the accept button.

"Sam, Sam! Are you alright? Did anything happen to you..."

~~~

Change of P.O.V: Judy:

Looking at the person who couldn't even look me in the eyes and the clear feelings of guilt and depression on her face, I couldn't help but give a gentle sigh.

As soon as the call connected, I asked Sam about how she was and if anything happened to her.

Her words were shorts and her voice was so gentle and soulless, yet it had a hoarse feel to it as if she had been crying just a bit before.

Knowing that she was home, I apologized to the manager who was understanding and just told me to take care of Sam for the moment, I also apologized to Alex and Robin before leaving.

I stayed on the phone with Sam on the way home, I knew that I wouldn't be able to calm down if I didn't.

Even before the taxi reached home, I was able to see Sam, who was sitting at my doorstep, start to stand up after she saw the taxi, seeing her like that pained me and I told her that I was there before finally hanging up.

After getting down from the car I moved and took a closer look at her, she was clenching her hands and didn't want to meet my eyes, seeing that there was nothing wrong with her on the surface, I opened the door and entered before getting her to follow.

"Sam.. How are you feeling right now? Are you alright?" I gently said while holding her hands softly.

I didn't want to ask her directly about what happened or why was she in that state, I wanted to take things slowly.

Sam flinched when she felt my hands، she remained like that for a bit before finally opening her mouth:

"I'm.. I'm better.." She uttered while looking at me straight for the first time, she had the hint of a weak smile on the corner of her lips.

Just as I was going to continue she started again:

"I.. I.. I chickened out.. For some reason I.. I just couldn't take it... As soon as I realized that I was going home... As that idea truly made itself clear in my mind... I got afraid and I panicked and couldn't calm down at all.." 

I didn't interrupt her and just listened as she told me about all that she went through, and how she reacted to what happened, and the thoughts that went through her mind then.

"I don't even know if I'm going to be able to do that again... It's probably going to be the same... Even by just thinking about that I'm having those same thoughts.." She concluded with a pitiful smile.

"Sam..." I said while pulling her into a hug. 

She didn't resist, she just moved towards me and buried her face into my chest before she started to sob faintly while I patted her back and whispered that it was all going to be alright.

We stayed like that for a bit, till she finally said while we were still like that:

"I'm sorry Judy.. You did all you could for me yet... Yet I couldn't even do this... I'm sorry for being like this... I'm.." 

I didn't let her finish, I tightened my arms around her to stop her from continuing before starting with the gentlest voice I could master:

"Sam, it's going to be alright. You panicked, so what? Don't worry, no matter how you're feeling right now, no matter what your mind is telling you, it will get better for sure..."

"But.. But what if they won't accept me? What if.. After.. After I go home I find that they don't want anything to do with me. What right do I even have for returning? What right do I have for being mad at them then, feeling betrayed by them? I don't have any right to be like that, because I deserve it, I deserve all that they might say and put me through, I deserve all that they might throw my way because what I put them through was worse, much worse... And I'm afraid that they would really do that to me..." She shouted suddenly from my embrace.

Her voice just kept on getting higher and higher till, at the end, she whispered the last part and pushed herself deeper between my arms.