This world is doomed and it’s my fault.

“Welcome, Hero.”

There’s no chance for salvation.

“I am the goddess Pandora. From today I shall be your patron deity- I shall grant you a blessing, power and limitless potential.”

This will bring ruin to millions.

“Ah, please calm down, your body shall coalesce shortly…who are you?”

~~~

I - a goddess of change and rebirth - stand within my divine realm. A boundless garden, tended to by fantastic creatures; my home, my workplace and my prison.

Before me stands a teenager, wreathed in the aethereal light of my summoning spellcraft. The hero I chose… is not the human who stands before me. I know nothing of this boy; he may be muscular, but he is inherently witless. Dense beyond words. A guaranteed failure as a hero.

My hero was weak in body, yet possessed great intellect and potential. He could have been a brilliant general, capable of leading from the rear; he could even have been a master assassin!

“Um, n-nice to meet you. I’m Jeff.”

Jeff! Even his name makes him sound like he was born to build public bathrooms! No! I can salvage this. I just need to find out why this fool was summoned.

Get it together, Pandora… you’re a goddess! You just need to fix this, even if it means begging that monster of an Earth God for a favour.

“Hello, Jeff. I fear there’s been something of a mix-up; could you please recount for me your last memories before I spoke to you?”

“Eheh…. Um, did you say something? Sorry, I wasn’t listening.”

Too right he wasn’t, he was just staring at my breasts! No, remain calm… calm…

“I would like you to tell me what you remember. Maybe we can determine how you got here?”

~~~

Deep breaths… deep breaths.

Jeff is currently traumatising my favourite horned rabbit by stroking its belly. I can sense its tempestuous feelings of extreme shame quite clearly, but this is far from my priority right now. Sorry, little one, but you’ll just have to keep him distracted.

From what I gathered from his speech and top-level thoughts, it seems like I misfired my spellcraft and selected the wrong human. I failed spectacularly and I must bear the consequences… and shame.

To overstate my shame would be impossible. The circumstances as they are, I fear I may have permanently soiled my reputation as a goddess.

Haha. What a fool I would appear should too many of my believers be put to the sword by a demon king of such paltry ability. A simple game, chosen for me by my own divine spawn… a game I absolutely must not lose, for my dignity is on the line. 

I want nothing but to probe deeply into this human’s mind, but as it stands he is not one of my believers, nor yet my apostle; I would be breaking my own divine law. It would not do to be a hypocrite, even under such circumstances.

He may not be my chosen hero, but I am a goddess of change and rebirth: The goddess Pandora is one who drives men to greatness or ruin!

...I feel like I just thought something I really should not have.

“My dear hero, might I have your attention? I have gathered my thoughts and it is time I grant you my blessings” ...and then probe your mind in hopes of some way to make you useful. 

Hopefully I can also find out how I made such a shameful mistake… and find myself a way to never, EVER do it again.

“Um, I shall do my best as your hero, great goddess.” 

He’s still staring at my breasts; he’s not even doing it in the hope I reciprocate his interest. He is just socially inept and completely lacking as a man!

“I am truly grateful you will undertake this quest! Hero Jeff: I grant you my blessing, my protection and a new life as an apostle of the goddess. Your new life of swords and sorcery starts here!”

~~~

I just witnessed Jeff - blindly and without any forethought - jump headlong into the portal I provided; even before I could introduce him to where he would begin his journey. I didn’t bother to check how it went… I just really, really don’t want to know right this moment...

I could kill for some wine.

InLucidReverie

Updated with edited version! Chapter 1 coming very shortly.