######

 

 

It was a notion which made it difficult to enjoy my custard (sharp mint and chocolate today). Lina dug into hers first and announced, "so strong" as she wiped her mouth. 

 

Maybe. Okay. Maybe she wouldn't be stuck. Despite her theory on reality-altering bets, there was naturally no way to prove or disprove them. Assume all bets are still finite. Ergo, she must cease to be...Lina, in a certain number of days. Greg hadn't really given me any details on his bet beyond John had to hold his liquor or else something and he couldn't give in to the sexual temptation of a redhead or else something. Shit.

 

Well, the "somethings" were clearly become a smelly bum and become his cousin. Which made no sense to me. Lina was not at all a redhead. And bets were not unduly cruel. They did piss off an unsatisfied redhead right here though. 

 

So...I guessed that he was changed to have neither the temptation nor the desire to be tempted. If that followed then...okay. John had neither the ability nor the need to hold his fluids. God, he was in for a rude realization when he reverted. I almost felt sorry for him like that.

 

So, assuming they weren't stuck, then how would the magical shenanigans makers respond? I assumed some sessions of hard fucking wouldn't be unexpected for those invisible judges. Or maybe they were bearded, old prudes.

 

What was the out then? It would be unimaginably cruel if fate led to someone hurt or killed. If a baby existed then it would continue to exist. 

 

So, simple out, any women made by bets were sterile for the duration. That gelled with what I'd seen. John talked about a friend from college (Celine or something) who made and won continuous, small bets to shed her sausage. All that time, all sorts of things going on, and no babies.

 

It was once thought you could extend bets conditionally. Some senate primary candidate in a nearby state made a promise that if he told a lie he would become a young (but still legally-eligible to run) woman. He broke his promise intentionally with the lose condition making him allegedly incapable of telling any lies until the completion of the campaign. 

 

People at the time were blown away and it got some press. And it had an odd following online. But he got busted, just not the way he intended. It was found out he reverted early and actually had a highly-trained female double stand-in for him and pitch his policy as fact. 

 

I also reflected on what Lina had said about some guy's video of flying. Regardless of what you intended, it seemed like those cock-depriving bearded, hypothetical fucks arranged how lost and won games played out with...special contingency plans in place. I spun my lettuce nervously.

 

Lina noticed it, along with my long-hanging silence, and asked, "What's on your mind?"

 

So many things. All of them. After sipping my drink, I asked her, "You gonna be alright through the rest of the day? Not too stressful?"

 

She nodded. "A little at first, maybe. But you gave me a great tutorial. I'm surprised how much I like being out there. At the library, I sometimes get called over to process late fees or assist at the info desk. But the big moments of my day are usually a browser froze on someone's system or the Wi-Fi isn't being picked up on their laptop. Not, 'My god, is my liver okay? Please tell me'...Not knowing what's going on and what's going to happen to you is terrifying. It feels good to tell someone that we'll do our best to help." 

 

I nodded with her. And we saw the gamut. From young to old. From already checked-out to claws in life against whatever forces were trying to drag them away. I warned her she would see all this and more. But I reiterated, "I know Greg still has your resume. Think about it."

 

Now it was her turn to fiddle with her salad. "I dunno. As I said, I worry about nepotism. I will never forsake any job, but I worked hard to get the one at the library. And it kinda pisses off my mom, so it's a good one."

 

I held out a hand. "Why not both? Part-time it after your twin troubles settle down. Be our opening and closing receptionist. Sure, twelve hours sounds intimidating but think of all the barely-above-minimum-wage hours we'll be able to pay you!"

 

Lina giggled lightly and bent over her salad. "I like what I've done today. And I really like spending more time with people I care deeply about. I'll figure it out at the end of the week."

 

We left it at that, finished up, and took the long way back since we had time. During the drive, Lina scooted up in her seat and asked, "So what was going on between you and Deb earlier and what did you mean by 'Space Invaders'?"

 

I'd nearly forgotten. Waiting at a light, I tapped the steering wheel a few times before I found the right words. "Deb is a bitch. To me...she's like a creepier Phil Spector in drag with a paranoia fetish. She thinks aliens implant people with chips in their sleep and caused our last x-ray tech to quit in frustration. So literal space invaders, not the game, inside her head."

 

Lina frowned and brushed her hair over her ear. "I'm...not exactly sure who Phil Spector is. Phil Spencer I know as the Xbox guy from Microsoft press conferences but not that name."

 

"It's okay, the name only popped into my head because they have the same crazy afro thing. Here..." I pulled into a gas station. I needed to fill up anyway. While there, I searched on my phone and showed a picture to Lina.

 

Her response was immediate. "Oh wow. I see your point. Hmm...so, should I steer clear of Deb? Am I okay?"

 

Squeezing the pump's shaft, I assured her, "I got it handled. You just keep doing what you've been doing, okay?" 

 

Lina nodded and rested against the side of the car as I filled the tank.

 

"So, 'care deeply about', huh? Does that include a certain bookkeeper slash bet-losing bum?"

 

Brushing her long sleeves together, Lina took a deep breath and responded, "In spite of everything...maybe? But not just him. You and Greg too. You have been an amazing friend and abundant reassurance during this confusing and crazy time. Greg saved my hardest years from dark and crippling thoughts. And the people who come through the doors inspire and motivate me in so many ways..."

 

The gas shut off and I set the drippy nozzle back in place. A moment later, Lina gave a little stammer before she found the words, "But I don't mean to say that librarians are bad or less worthy or less meaningful in their jobs. I just...really like the OWL."

 

With half a shrug, I told her, "No librarians here to get offended. You ever dress up as a sexy librarian?" 

 

Blinking a little, Lina admitted, "I'm not even sure what that would look like."

 

I shrugged, put my hands on my hips, and cocked a leg forward. "I like to think I get close. But I also have some book...marks...on my phone for it." Oh god, that was a groaner. Lina still giggled and complimented my look.

 

Still smiling, she remarked, "I dunno if it's the look for me but I might have to try it. So long as I am a librarian with some real gamer cred and nice, long sleeves or gloves."

 

Back in the car, I made a note to check one thing before we drove off: The website for The Salty Lemon. But I waited until we were back in the parking lot to finish my search. 

 

Lina noticed me on my phone and raised her dainty eyebrows. Slowly, I smiled to myself. Naturally, she asked me what was up. I pressed the phone to my chest. I could've told her right there and then, but I would have to make a call to confirm.

 

Instead, I told her, "I have a surprise for you at the end of the workday. You're gonna love it. But...work first."

 

Her eyes wide, she searched my expression for clues. You could see her mind delving, pondering. As I got everything set up for afternoon services, I made sure I popped into the file closet and shut the heavy door so I could call in private. 

 

In short, I learned exactly what I needed and made the proper arrangements. 

 

And I kept my mouth shut. Lina snuck around and quietly hunted for hints. It was clear she suspected it had something to do with games, but she made no bold predictions.

 

Eventually, we returned to the routine of earlier. Not as many walk-ins but still quite a few kids. Lina sat beside each as she talked to their parents and took down their information. There were a handful of trouble cases. And a hearty side of Deb sulking but not saying anything out of turn. 

 

I could've reminded her that there were cameras all over the office and they fed into an off-site terminal. And that terminal could very well have a mostly-human government agent...watching it right at this very minute. But that was the nuclear option. I could only really hit her with that once. Besides, thinking about it even left me vaguely-concerned that someone might put together that Lina was here and in California at the same time. Vaguely, but still.

 

I was more concerned and frustrated at those smug, unseen salami-hiding fuckers watching this all play out. Clearly, they had a plan, an agenda, for Lina and the bum. So, why did I have to bear a burden as a tangential party to the bet? Other Lina got a trip to California. I had one great fucking night which cut off right there.

 

If I were playing it then Greg would be unable to leave my sight, his cock constantly-throbbing at the mere mention of my crimson locks. Now that would be more in line with the bet. The thought made me want to crawl up the fucking furniture for some phantom remnant of Greg left behind but left me with a goddamn headache.

 

No one was left with a metaphorical, smoldering neck stump after trying to argue their way out of late bills, but they got damn close to the dragon by the end of the day.

 

Our last served and the part-timers already flying down the road in their cars, I massaged near my eye socket and amended a drifting decimal place on a print-out before sending it off. The unused cheat-sheets, written and copied for John and Greg, went into an easy-to-find folder for a different week.

 

Lina finished sterilizing the bathroom area after a preteen girl took several craps that missed the toilet (and the floor) by about five feet. I didn't ask for an update on whether she still wanted two kids after that, but she eased down in the chair next to me with her natural, dark eyeliner clinging to her cosmetic one. Clearing her throat, she asked, "So, what was my final score for the day?"

 

I flexed my toes out of my shoes, rubbed the area under my ponytail, and pronounced, "Four-hundred-and-sixteen."

 

She perked up and asked, "We had that many people come in?!" 

 

"Nah, I pulled that number out of my ass. But you did well. Good tally. Enter your initials and see if you can beat that number tomorrow." I did the last bit like some game announcer I half-recalled from an arcade ages ago. Sounded more like a pompous Alex Trebek but Lina giggled.

 

She admitted, with a deep breath through her nose and a stretch, "I can never decide whether to put elf...I mean L-R-O or A-R-O. The second is kinda... word, a word. It makes a word. But I'm Lina." Her eyes dipped.

 

I smiled and sent through the last of the paperwork as I added, "You sure are. So, wanna hear my surprise?" Waiting for an answer in the quiet of the office, I heard a faint sound beside me like someone slowly dragging a wooden table across tiles.

 

Lina was snoring.

Her dainty, pink lip drooped open and her arms spilled over the chair. One leg kicked out and her flaxen hair nested across the left side of her face. I smiled to myself and let her rest.

 

I made excuses not to rouse her, such as sorting through some old archives, wiping down a dusty patch, and tightening the knobs on Greg's chair, till the rust-tinted evening sun prodded through the windows and across her scrunched face.

 

She limply-shielded her eyes and blinked. Searching, she muttered, "Babs? Oh gosh...I'm sorrrryy. I dunno what happened."

 

Rubbing the same eye-socket spot, I gave a quick laugh and assured her, "You ran the reception area of the office for a full day. At least you ended up in a chair. My first full day without Archie around, Greg found me sprawled out over some boxes. He was about to call for an ambulance." Waking to his intense look of concern was definitely the moment I started to love him.

 

Lina gave a still-groggy "awww" to that and reached around for her bag. She unzipped it and slipped out a single, tall energy drink can. Popping the lid, she wrapped her mouth around the end and drained it with a long swig. That had to be strong, but she didn't flinch.

 

With a long sniff, her eyes started to open and she reached the next level of lucidity, the stage where she remembered, "You said there was a surprise?"

 

Nodding, I pulled up the page on my phone and explained, "First of all, I'm going to pay you in cash plus a slight bonus for today." She accepted the bills and tucked them safely into her bag. 

 

"But, here's the important part. I live very close to a pub called The Salty Lemon. Some Wednesday evenings, they have open gaming competitions. I signed you up...for this Wednesday."

 

 

It was the easiest nod and, "Absolutely." She hugged me rapturously again.

 

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou! This is so cool. My gosh, I never even thought to look at the game list and woo...little dizzy..." She wobbled but caught herself on the desk.

 

I gently reminded her, "Breathe..."

 

She giggled and took a few deep inhales before resuming. "Oh! I see all gens of Mario Kart on here. You can win free appetizers, a gift certificate, or even a free Switch. I also see Overwatch! I have an account on Battle.net. Several, actually, long story but looks like you can make one at the event. Fine with that. Also, that quirky Half-Life multiplayer game that takes place after the quadrology...quadrilogy? After the fourth one. The third mainline one is my favorite because it's so different. And they have some fighting titles. The setup would have to be huge and I hope they have plans in case of screen-cheating. And it goes all evening, till almost 2AM. If only it was on a Friday!"

 

Lina's face was flush like she was seriously turned on by all this. I glanced at the empty can from her bag and asked, "Do you always have such a strong reaction to energy drinks?"

 

She picked up the can but held my phone as far away from it as possible as she sucked off the last few dribbles and buried it deep in the nearest waste bin. Taking a long, slow breath, she remarked, "Heh, sometimes. But I have even stronger reactions to awesome gifts from amazing friends. I wanna do something for you. You're probably not a Steam user, are you?"

 

Shook my head there. I gathered it was an online account for games though. The main steam on my mind was Greg's naked body heat pressed up against mine as my pussy bubbled from his cock. That steam had dropped to pitiful puddle, on its way to freezing over.

 

She mulled, "I could help you make an account. Hmmm. Oh! What about this phone? You have things on it, right?" 

 

That depended on what she meant by 'things'.

 

Lina turned it around and asked, "What I mean is surely you have a game or two on here..."

 

I pushed my glasses up. "Not really. Just work stuff, family contacts and texts, some notes as I need them. Decent number of photos." Most were benign but some... were just for me. She could probably guess the rest from the kinds of pictures I'd already shared.

 

Furrowing her brow, Lina persisted, "Not even a movie app? I mean...most of them require a subscription but there are alternatives. I have my own bookmarks for that sort of thing. Even if it's not free, I wanna do something!"

 

I raised a hand and leveled my gaze through my glasses. "Lina. Don't worry about it. Please just save your money. You worked hard for it. And don't worry about me."

 

Lina bit at her lip. She puffed air through the gap before saying, "There must be some sort of game on here. Sorry. Not to be rude about it but I could optimize it or trick it out or something."

 

Persistent. I loosened my ponytail and offered, "Maybe. You're free to look at the main screen or the store. You might find something. And you may make it as fun as you like."

 

Leaning against the desk, she started tapping and sliding her finger across my phone. I noticed her quick, deepening frown and asked, "What is it?"

 

She rolled back her sleeves, exposing her bracelets, and updated, "Still looking. You keep a quite... utilitarian setup. Oh, wait. Got something. Oh, it's..uhh. There's something called 'Flex Man Buff Crunch' and it appears to be a match-three...game...with body parts."

 

Letting my hair hang out, I pondered a bit then nodded. "Sounds familiar. You have to put rows of manly asses, pecs, bulges, and biceps together or something?"

 

Lina gave me a quick look and remarked, "That appears to be...it."

 

I smirked. I must've gotten that when I first got my phone. I added, "As I recall, it was free. But you only get to play three times without failing or else you pay in testosterone pellets with real money or wait like an hour for your stamina to recharge. It killed time and the art was nice to look at but rather disappointing."

 

Cradling the phone, Lina nodded and gently set it down on the desk beside her. She took a deep breath and then clenched her fingers like she was throttling a phantom phone. 

 

"That is total horse plop they would do that to you! You should experience fun, not such Skinner box...licking nonsense! Games are not meant to be like this. They are not a micro-transaction mega-tease which leech into everything to remind you of their sorry, rotten egg existence! Then using a timer to put your enjoyment on the clock too. Which hurts you for failing but sets you up for it no matter how good you might be. It stacks against you until the fat stacks come out... then oh woooow you are the most awesome player with the greatest...everything in the world as it...cuddles you till it's hungry for more! And the worst thing is I kinda like these games! Especially the older ones. There is a complete-story, fantasy adventure game with this same mechanic. There are so many beautiful games that have been pushed aside or stripped of their souls by...stuff like this. Build a thing but not too fast. Have fun but not too much in a day. Foop that! I will have as much fun and joy as I want and no paid fluff-a-nutter piece, no shower of useless keys, no soulless updates will ever steal my love of games. May all such games and their unrepentant makers have...a dog's mouth breathing down their sensitive areas for the rest of their lives!" 

 

Lina staggered a moment but cleared her throat and softly added, "Sorry again. No slight meant at you. I just feel very..."

 

I chimed in, "Strongly. You have a strong heart, Lina. You're a strong person. Pretty impressive." Almost as impressive as Greg. Clearly some of the same spark.

 

She fidgeted and drew her head down. "It's silly though. Not like I changed anything by going off on it."

 

I shrugged. "Then change it. I mean, I don't know games but you do and you feel very strongly about them. That strength shows in everything you accomplished today. You looked at the tasks before you and you did them all. You made the most stressful moments for the people who came here better."

 

Lina withdrew and pressed her legs together. "But...gosh. It's just... I feel strong right here and in a handful of things but that doesn't mean much. I went to the Wal-Mart last week and used the self-check line and I didn't see it was twenty items only and I had thirty and the checkers got upset and I nearly broke down crying for the rest of that night. And I can drink those energy drinks but every time I have a Coke it's like a Canadian Goose is running wild through my throat and I'm sick. I'm sorry but I'm really not that strong. I'm just little Lina who peed herself when her teachers scowled..."

 

I turned my chair, leaned forward, and set my eyes on her. "You are not just Lina. You are so much more. You are strong. You know what you want. And you care deeply about others. Build from your strength. Don't let yourself down by what you fear." I rose and touched her shoulder. 

 

She eased her legs apart and straightened. "I don't...I...I'll see what I can do. I mean...I was sorta thinking that I might take out the extra DS and Gameboys getting dusty in the back of my closet and loan them out to the kids, and maybe even the older people, while they're waiting. Share some games I love, maybe help people feel better, and do something neat."

 

I gave her my eager approval, though I cautioned that she would be solely-responsible for them (I noticed all the pens pilfered from the waiting room). And she would have the same workload as Monday (although Tuesdays were usually quieter). She readily agreed to this, trying on a smile and flexing her feet as she announced, "And I'm gonna soft mod your phone!"

 

Naturally, I had to ask if she could hard mod it as well. She responded, "Umm, I really don't think you'd like me taking your phone apart." 

 

"You clearly don't realize how much I hate it." I punctuated my words with a death glare in its direction.

 

Giggling, Lina picked it up and said, "I hope I can make you like it again, at least a little, by my hand. I should be able to..." Words followed that but they were drowned out by a bitter, growling declaration from her body. Lina's stomach was as displeased as Great-Uncle Russell's whenever someone forgot a proper mealtime.

 

She set a hand to steady the quake and blushed. "Goodness. That was noisy. Why would?....Oh. Oh gosh. Wait. It's past seven. And the last thing was Culver's at around noon."

 

Yup. Not too weird for me but I was used to the hours. My body learned not to bitch at me till ten. Today had run long without the extra hands for paperwork plus Lina's nap. The sun, which had bled out its last rays, was truly set. 

 

 

 

I tracked down an unopened and unexpired granola bar from the depths of John's drawers for Lina, who finished it in four bites. I advised her, "Your earnings but nowhere crazy."

 

She flashed a playful smile but nodded. 

 

After locking up, we got onto the main road. The nearby steakhouse had people waiting on the bench out front and Lina vetoed anything with a drive-thru. She searched on my phone until she declared, "The Chinese buffet just past the next right!"

 

No complaints from me. I parked near the street row of trees. The place was painted green, brown, and white like the rest of the strip with large, red letters proclaiming, "Great Super Buffet". 

 

Inside, a pinball gum machine and a sticker dispenser (with a mouse person in clown makeup) decorated a small waiting room as fragments of pop songs drifted around. I was glad we didn't play any music stations in the office because I rather liked my level of sanity.

 

 

I raised my eyes. Lina took a small step back. I cleared my throat and firmly told her, "Two for a booth, please."

 

Her eyes were narrow, nearly-shut between a field of wrinkles. Still, she seemed to see well enough to guide us to an open table beside a frosted-glass wall of undersea life. On the far wall, there was a park mural that resembled a museum painting but didn't appear especially Chinese.

 

A younger woman with a short ponytail, a gray apron, and a notepad came over and inquired, "Any drinks for you ladies?" She mentioned a few alcoholic choices, but Lina declined and I was driving. We both got iced tea.

 

Lina went for the salad area first but wandered over to the seafood as well. I needed meat. Sausages. Long frog legs. Chicken sticks. And vanilla pudding drizzled on the edge. 

 

We pretty much just ate. No lunchtime pondering and chatting. No Bob Evans getting-to-know-one-another. Just appeasing the beast. I did think about the old woman at the front, but for a second or two with a roll of my eyes. Lina didn't fret either, but she did set a few napkins across her lap.

 

At the end, we both felt pretty satisfied. Lina paid, left a decent tip on the bill, and yawned as she popped over to the bathroom. I made my way back over to the front. The old woman just stood there with the same gaze and her hands folded in front of her. No more thought to it.

 

Back in the car, I asked Lina if she wanted to make any other stops. Her answer was a little yawn followed by a hiccup and burp. She tried that again with words.

 

"Just back home...because I still have to mod your phone. Won't take long. Just gotta hook it up and run a program. Okay?" She drifted between an attempt to look alert, full belly grogginess, and outright flopping asleep against my window. 

 

I drove slow and carefully, in case of bumps. By the time I entered her neighborhood, she was back to sliding furniture. Pulling into the nearest open spot at her apartment, I didn't even have time to consider how best to rouse her before the stop tilted her awake. She moistened her lips and said, "Alright. Just a quick...thing."

 

Walking around and to her door, she appeared fine. Getting inside, she definitely perked up once she had her computer on. Despite her newfound confidence, she still didn't log onto her accounts. Instead, she plugged my phone into a wire connecting it to her computer. As she assured me, it was pretty easy. Just plug it in and wait. 

 

Stretching her arms up but half-bent, she detailed, "You'll have lots of ROMs. That's the data dumped out from a game. The program lets you pick from lots of games and programs that run them...all in one hub. Like, you have all the classic Marios, buncha Zeldas, Metroids, Chrono Trigger, X-Com, Final Fantasies, Earthbound, Mother 3, Phantasy Star, Fire Emblemssss, Castlemania..., Secret of Nana, Shin Megaama...some..." She slumped down in her chair and immediately cleared her throat with a cough.

 

"And many others. Hundreds. Only taking up as much as any regular app. My joy to share."

 

She was pretty gone by this point. Once the mod finished, I guided her to the bed and she just settled on top of the covers. I made sure to set her alarm for enough time before work if she happened to be out till morning. Still, I'd probably stop by to check on her early if she didn't respond to a phone call.

 

Before leaving, I took a huge, essential dump in her bathroom. Well, in Lina's bathroom. I cleaned up afterward so no foul phantoms would bother her. 

 

On the drive home, I felt the weight and hours of the day settle on my shoulders. Little aches and tender spots announced themselves. The spot by my eye had bloomed into a full throb. 

 

Shutting the front door behind me was a release. Heels off. Bag down. Nightgown in my sights. 

 

After a pleasant bath, I didn't even consider watching anything. I did look at my phone. Still nothing from family. Mom could go fuck herself at this point. I had a few ideas for a belated, white elephant gift. 

 

I tried Russell again, but the timing was still wrong. Definitely would have to try during the day between patients and paperwork. Edith had her phone off. I had no faith in my cellphone to get through to her. So, I made use of my afterthought of a landline, bundled with the internet. I called her to leave a message.

 

"Hii. It's Babs. Calling to apologize for any misunderstandings last night. I had to cancel on the wedding due to...events. I really wanted to get the chance to see you and Russell. Wanna be up there by year's end. Love you so much and hope you're doing alright. Bye!"

 

Of course, once I had the message, the damn robot voice guided me through a bunch of annoying crap. I had to fucking tell the dickless bot "Yes" I want to send the message now. God, I had to select a fucking time too. Skip. Skip. And then my message was "stored". Whatever the fuck that meant. When I tried to change that, I got its trite little "goodbye". Goodbye, and may viruses eat your goddamn ass!

 

I was tempted to deluge the system with messages to make sure something got through. Like certain, shall-remain-nameless doctor offices who forgot that they needed to send us their shit for about the fourth time. But I couldn't do that to Edith. It wasn't her fault. I'd keep calling and hope maybe she would try me.

 

Returning to my cellphone, I tabbed to make sure I hadn't missed any messages or calls (even though I knew that would be very remote). The open tabs were the soft mod application Lina gave me...and the video one. It had been left open to the archive. The empty one. I was fairly certain I hadn't left it open, but it was hard to tell with the throbbing still knocking on my forehead. 

 

I slipped into bed on my stomach with my phone. Despite the desire to crush it with my boobs till I'd finally made it my bitch, I just opened up the thing Lina had put on there. The long list of titles meant little to me, but I tested one at random. 

 

Credits followed by an older-looking art style. Music sounded very 90s too. I had to name some people and a dog. Then my favorite homemade food. The hell? I bent my head and considered my answer with a smirk. I went with "corn" instead. 

 

What's your favorite thing? Oh, hohoho...they were really tempting me. I didn't have enough letters though. Instead, I put "flying". Whatever. I mashed the button a few times. I wasn't really paying attention. It was wild west farming or something with a lot of talking. No, now there were dinosaurs and I was fighting.

 

Another time. I scrolled down the list and stopped on Street Fighter II Omega Alpha Hyper...whatever. It started quick. Big beefy men flashing energy and fists at one another. The Russian guy was huge. Damn. 

 

I had to tap parts of the screen and I was just not with it enough. But I beat up the other guy's bar about halfway. The girls were buff too. I tried someone named Cammy for a while before I set the phone aside.

 

Making sure I could get up early to check in on Lina, I planted my face on the pillow. And that was all I remembered. Till the purple, glowing dicks showed up. 

 

Maybe they were dildos. But they were alive in the gray auditorium, so dicks was definitely the better name. Still, they were long. Noodle long and flocking through the air. Swimming too. They dipped over the ground and curled back up with pulses of light. 

 

I'd definitely seen them in an aquarium once. No. Not these ones. That had been something like a sea cucumber or an anemone. 

 

I could breathe fine, so what were they swimming through? They had to be lighter than air.

 

I had to tell Greg about this. He was in another place climbing vines on a wall. The dicks curled together like rope and moved around me several times. They pulsed like a camera flash. A few broke off from the main strands and drifted. 

 

I tried to snatch one out of the air, but they were too quick. They didn't have any smell, let alone a dick smell. 

 

They appeared to be scouting me. I wanted to say, "Come at me". I'd never had alien dick or whatever these were. The double doors of the auditorium banged open and Greg stood there with two cones of ice cream.

 

"There's a dog that looks like Putin swimming in one of the tanks", Greg exclaimed. He was sweaty all over. Had he run the whole way to get here? 

 

I was thinking about an aquarium, but this was the gray auditorium. They had to be in the same building. I pointed at the dick cluster and asked Greg, "Ever seen anything like these?" 

 

He was upset because the ice creams were starting to melt. My silly man. There were alien dicks in a secret exhibit. If I could grab one, it would freak Deb out. But they were moving away from me, lurking in the unlit portions of the auditorium. Lurking in Greg's direction.

 

Before I could warn him, the dicks launched and surrounded him. I yelled but the sound was lost the moment it left my mouth. They curled and laced and knotted around him like excited worms.

 

When they released him, he wasn't standing there anymore. It was me. Me in a flirty skirt and knee-high boots. Me in a snug top with my hair down. In the doorway, another Greg peeked in and asked, "Babs? You coming?"

 

The other Babs gave a calm, wide grin at me and turned to answer, "Yes, coming."

 

She strode over to Greg, my Greg, and gave him a long, lingering kiss before the two of them walked off. The double doors slid closed. 

 

It was dark. Darker than it had been. But there was a purple glow. I was frozen in place but, with every ounce of my strength, I told those fucking dicks, "Bring it!"

 

When the swarm came around to face me, it had split into two, wriggling masses. Against the black, they shined like a set of pulsating, purple eyes. That was the last thing I saw before the soft landscape of my pillow in bed. 

 

Turning the light on, I only found a few fragments of the spider. Vigorous cleaning and vacuuming jumped high on my priorities list. The top was getting a drink for my dried-out throat.

 

I sucked down a full water bottle and warmed a cup of milk for sipping. Mmm, better. I hated when I split a sleep cycle, but I marched back to bed with a single thought in mind.

 

Staring at my bed with the same contempt I showed my phone, I made it clear that there would be no more bad dreams and nocturnal invaders would find only death. At a better hour, I would've found the whole exercise silly, but it allowed me to settle back under the sheets with ease and comfort. 

 

I looked forward to dreams of getting fucked sideways by Greg, to an island getaway roleplay, and maybe blowjobs in the rain. To something more creative and fun than I could conjure up while conscious. 

 

I received dreamless sleep for the rest of the night.