Heyo =)
The edited version of The Lone Macaw is now online here at Scribblehub, with the new volume starting over the next hours. The editing consisted mostly of changes in explanations and character interaction in the hope to make motivations clearer and jumps in character less frequent.
Overall, the story put on a bit more weight, with 3.5k new words (or two chapters) added to it. Most of it more description and worldbuilding. As the core story didn't change, it isn't needed to re-read the entire first volume, hence I'll post a short list of the important changes down below. With that, you should be ready to go. Of course, anyone starting after the middle of january can just skip it :D
With the second volume ready, the first volume will also finish its run on Royal Road. So here once more the request: If you enjoyed this story and have a RR-account, please take a minute out of your time, head over there ( https://www.royalroad.com/fiction/38870/ ), and follow/rate/review the story over there as well. It really helps getting seen on the bigger sites =)
That said, I'm glad so many of you are still here, waiting for the story, and supporting me in my writing endeavors. I hope you'll enjoy the second volume just as much!
Lost
(PS: I'm really sorry for the late release. I kinda forgot about the changing date for the trending algorithm, so it'll already be monday for half the world when this starts :-/ xD)
Changes to The Lone Macaw:
- Complete rewrite of "Interlude 2" to introduce a more detailed character dynamic. Recommended to re-read it.
- Complete rewrite of "Epilogue" to differentiate Aki's thoughts towards the leaders (Houdin, Bernier, Rhoslyn). Also recommended to re-read it.
- Aki: it is made more clear that he always planned to leave the village behind. Added further forshadowing of the sword maiden to his thoughts and actions.
- Aki: Forshadowed and explained the fortress skill in more detail
- Aki: Made it clearer, that unknown or missing cities (or events) throw him off and that he doesn't really know whether this world is "exactly like the game". Used as explanation for later decisions on what to teach/what not to teach the others.
- Aki: Using a more detailed "story" in his apology towards Thea.
- Thea: Her antipathy towards the city is made clearer. The same with her jealousy of the sword maiden.
- Thea: Made her later displeasure of Aki's fondness for the sword maiden more obvious.
- Thea: Made her arguments in their quarrel more emotional
- The village: Changed Aki's punishment from "slavery" to "forced labor" to make it more fitting
- The system: Added more description on how skills are learned (either teacher or one-usage items), added weapon bonuses, and a more detailed explanations on levels
Furthermore a ton of re-arrangement of sentences or paragraphs, rephrasing, and attempts at a better flow.
But as I said: the core of the story stays the same and you can continue on with the second volume without "missing anything important".
Good to see you back.
Thanks for your continued support!
It's really humbling to still see people asking, waiting, and cheering for me. Nearly half a year of hiatus and people still remember my story
I hope the second volume will be worth the wait for all of you!
May God bless your souls! AMEN
That's a cheap price for a blessing :D
Thanks for the continual posting!
"continual" posting sounds a bit teasing after a 5 month hiatus :D
@LostLibrarian I'm not! You posted a complete volume and even did some rewriting! It means you care!
@Peculiarflame86 Thanks for your support. I hope you'll enjoy the second volume as well =)
thank you, i will try to reread when i have time
Feel free to. Although as said, beside the two mentioned chapters there really isn't that much of a need for it... =)
@LostLibrarian
I reread the epilogue and now I think it's almost perfect congratulations
@SH4DOWLORD Thanks, glad you enjoyed it. And you really can jump in the new chapters without re-reading. At most some details will seem a bit off, but the core story is entirely the same for now =)
@LostLibrarian ok thanks now i'll read the hobbit kkkk I'll be back at dawn to check the new episodes
@SH4DOWLORD Have fun. I really loved the hobbit when I read it =)