Chapter 13 - The Dreams of Mecchen House (cont.)

I was going to note that, to me, with her anime form, she was cute, even if I wasn’t entirely sure if she was female when we first met. I gave a cautious word of, “You kinda mentioned your mom in passing… Is everything okay there?”

She leaned forward like a balloon slowly leaking air. “You mean I compared you to my mother. That wasn’t really fair but that attitude of… how she breaks me down. I’ve had more than my fill of that.”

I didn’t say anything. I just bowed my head a little to encourage her on. She massaged her forehead. “I really have no reason to, but maybe it’ll spare me some annoyances if I just tell you.

“My mom is beautiful. She’s always been beautiful, even now in her later years. She prides herself on it. She has gorgeous, deep-purple hair. She has a slender face with close, lovely eyes with sculpted eyebrows and high cheekbones. Classical beauty. I call her a fox-face though. And she calls me a raccoon-face. But I only have a roundish face and far-spaced eyes.”

I only knew a little about the raccoon and fox face parallels, but Katsumi was too slender to be a raccoon-face. She also didn’t have much of a forehead with her flowing locks. Her lips were small, not plump, as well. To me, she was more a cat than a raccoon. I just assured her that she didn’t look like a raccoon.

She lolled her head back. “She didn’t always call me names. When I was a little kid, she showed me everything about how to do makeup and dress pretty. Then, she went to the doctor. They put me in a dark hall labeled ‘23’ in a chair all by myself for hours. I shut my eyes for so long. All I could hug was a magazine. I didn’t bring my Froggy.

“Eventually, I got used to the dark. I felt comforted by it. It held me in it. I saw the male doctors passing by, one after another. I imagined I could sneak up on them. I’d grab them. I’d punish them for taking mommy away. I’d make them just like me, a scared little girl. Then I wouldn’t be as scared anymore. They would be.” She barreled through her memory with a curling satisfaction showing on her lips which lifted her head. I didn’t stop her. She wavered a little.

“But nothing happened. Eventually, they called me back and told me mom needed surgery, but it was okay. She was gonna get well. I was happy about that. They also told me she wouldn’t have any more babies because of the operation. I didn’t care. I knew I would have my mommy, and she would have me. Mommy was okay at first too. She didn’t even miss daddy. I asked her to tell me all sorts of things. She told me traditions. I memorized them. Her family has a long history reaching back hundreds of years. I wanted to honor it. I would be the best of our family.

“At first, my mom was supportive but… after a time, she started to really lay into me. I’d stumble and she’d be there to say ‘Nakagawas never stumble! They stand straight with honor!’ But I kept stumbling. When I started growing up, she got nicer for a while. She planned out all the pretty dresses I would wear. She would show me off. But my hips would never budge, and I could never fill the dresses. She made me wear padding. I got really good at making it look like I had a figure.

“At the parties my mom would go to, I found myself sitting in a corner. I sketched and I imagined all the smug men turned into stunned and embarrassed girls. That was the only thing my mom always encouraged me in. She had one boyfriend she even wanted me to turn into a girl. She never said why. I was just so happy she asked me.”

Katsumi curled up tight, her lines blurring. “I still wonder if I’ll fill in and be as beautiful as her. I wonder if I’ll make people turn to look as they pass me. I still love her but… I just want to be as far away as possible from her sometimes. She gave me the money to come live here and go to Azako. Her aunt lives on the waterfront, and she lives in Hiyoshi. But none of my stuff is at her house anymore. It’s all here. Some of it is still in boxes scattered around Mecchen. I’m paid up for a year. So, I still have a lot of time left but I can’t rely on my mother to pay my way beyond that.

“I’m gonna be looking at what I can do in the way of work. It’ll be tough but I want to stay here at Mecchen as long as I can. And I will protect it. This is a sanctuary and it’s my refuge. You three have a special exemption, for now. That Ms. Ishida thought you were okay went a long ways, despite all that happened.”

I didn’t say anything for a while. She scratched her arm and murmured, “So, what about you? What was your life like? Any girlfriends?” I thought I heard a subtle pause on the last part.

I figured it was a good sign she cared enough to ask me. It was a bit of a surprise though. “There’s not a lot to say. I’ve lived a boring life. I went through all the stages of education. I went to college and I got a job writing computer code for a small company.”

Katsumi smirked. “Ah. Good. Maybe you can help me so I don’t have to go to Ms. Ishida all the time for coding.”

I really had no idea if coding was anything like back in my universe, but I offered her a non-committal, “…Maybe.”

She encouraged me to tell more. I stammered, "Well, I have a mom." But, in my memory, my mother's face seemed rather dream-like. Some traits of hers felt confused with Ms. Ishida’s. Did I have a sister as well? I didn’t feel sure enough to say more. I felt hot. Was this like what Shioriko and Carolyn experienced? Did their memories just erode away?

Katsumi scooted over even closer. “That’s all?”

I made an excuse, “My mind is a little tired. It’s been a long day and there’s been a lot to absorb. If you’ll excuse me…” I hoped that wasn’t far from the truth.

She looked disappointed, but she nodded. “If that water-hog Mami is out, then I don’t mind if you take your bath before me. I’ll be up a little while yet. And… sleep well.”

She picked up her art mid-sketch. I shielded my eyes and left the door as I’d found it. I threaded my way through the now-bright-white-as-snow room. Not even when I turned on the light after the frightening dark in Ami's room did my eyes sting so badly. The side-effect of having huge, anime eyes. I took a few moments to recover.

The door to the bath was open but, within, it was still steamy and wet. I checked Mami’s door. She slowly slid it open. She had on a short, white nightshirt and a pair of striped underwear. She was still drying her hair with a towel. She smirked at me and said, “Thanks for bringing up my camera. I won’t soon forget it. The bath is all yours. Is there anything else?”

I shook my head and wished her good night. She returned my good night and slowly closed the door.

I went through my bag of clothes and took out my chosen outfit. It was meant for a girl, but fit me well enough, and it buttoned all the way up. The shirttail was a little bit of an annoyance.

Knowing Mami was still up, I slipped my clothes back on and took the towels and sleeping clothes with me to the bath. I thought I spotted a camera out of the corner of my eye, but it was probably my imagination.

I also thought I saw something large and gray down the other side of the hall. When I turned, all I saw was the glow from under Nana’s door. I made a reminder to talk with her more tomorrow. But, for now, my head really did feel fuzzy.

I rinsed and soaked just like Katsumi had instructed me last night but, as I immersed myself in the water, my mind drifted.

I tried to visualize my sister. What came out was a rather disturbing blend of Nana, Katsumi, and Mami. A shy but overzealous young girl with rusty locks and a devious manner. Was she that young?

I could recall what I’d had for dinner a week ago. All my memories of Carolyn were clear, except for how we first met. That sure sounded like the state of Carolyn and Shioriko’s memory now.  

I soaked my head and rubbed my eyes. I went over all my important memories. Where did I grow up? It felt like the typical white-picket little house with a lovely lawn and wide windows. Could that really be my home? I thought there was a room with tatami floors and a family shrine. Slowly, the details felt more like I imagined Katsumi’s home to be than my own.

Where did I go to school? Only anime images came to mind. Even thinking about where I came from, I could only imagine it in the kinds of colors which surrounded me now. Carolyn’s anime girl face compared with her bishounen face now.

Did I have any pets? A wide-eyed, dark-furred neko with nicely-drawn legs. That couldn’t be right.

I took a few long breaths. I’d never had perfect memory, but everything beyond a certain time in the past felt like a painting run through a washer, fading to pencil sketches.

I got out to rinse again and wiped at the mirror. At least my face looked familiar, my chest was as flat as Katsumi’s, and I still had some of my height. Still, that whisper of a girl from yesterday had raised her voice.

But the strange image in the mirror didn’t trouble me so much as the colorless blotch where my first day of school used to be.

-----

After drying and dressing in my sleeping clothes, I made my way back down to Jamie’s room. I knocked once and was met by another instant opening by Tara. She pouted and informed me, “It just ended.”

I looked over my shoulder at the TV with soft music and credits rolling by. She perked up. “But volume two is next!”

I asked her if I could speak with my roommates. She scampered off to Ms. Ishida’s room after some convincing.

“I feel like my past is slipping away…” I told them about the holes in my memory. Jamie scoffed at first, then paused.

“The heck… well, my mom… well, you know she had… that illness.”

“What illness was it?”

For the life of him, he couldn’t recall. He could remember more than me, especially about his family but a number of pieces were missing. It was like a puzzle with only the outline completed. He struggled to grab hold of what about his family ticked him off, but he was reduced to soft murmuring.

Jamie rubbed his head. “This can’t be possible. What is this? Some sort of Island of the Lotus Eaters?” He began to hyperventilate. “We have to get out of here. We gotta get out of here, now!” He leapt for the books. He almost tore one in a fury.

He whimpered and shielded his eyes and refused any sort of comforting touch from me. Nathan bowed his head. “Actually, my memory seems alright. I can still remember everything about my mother and father and siblings in perfect detail.”

“What about your first day of school?”

“The windy sign.”

The memory hit me like a flash bolt. Of course, it was all still there. That stopped Jamie from his panic and brought a bit of calm to me. Nathan looked happy to have helped.

I was certain all the memories were still there, they just seemed to be locked in a thick, molasses-like casing. We dug a few out to reassure ourselves.

Jamie still kept his eyes on the books. “We must never waver from our goal. This world wants us to give in. It could’ve lured us in. I remember that movie about the conscious planet. Any place could be just as aware… could be a trap. We must be ever vigilant.” He pointed around in a circle. “We will find a way out, but we need to remember who we actually are. We can’t give in to forces that want to change us. It may try to take our bodies, but it won’t get at our minds. I know we can beat it.”

We both gave Jamie a careful nod. We invited Tara back, but the TV showing was at an end. Jamie was back to reading and focusing on ways out of here. Nathan said he needed some sleep after his bath. Tara looked disappointed but, after yawning the cutest yawn, she agreed to call it a night. Nathan helped her push the TV back and I made my way over to Ms. Ishida’s room and knocked.

She opened the door for me, and I sat by her bed. She was working on her computer with a notebook open and her keyboard nearby. Setting everything aside, she smiled at me and asked, “Is there anything I can do to help?”

It took me a few moments to get it out, but I said, “Ms. Ishida… I noticed something in your family album that concerned me. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”

I pointed her to the images of the three men who looked like we once did and the girl who looked like Nana. Her reaction was a gentle laugh, hardly what I expected. I thought perhaps some element of horror had amused her.

She bowed, apologized, and said, “I’ve known about those images since I was a little girl. They’ve always captivated me and made me curious about Nana. Did I tell you how we met?”

I mentioned that Mami told me the gist. She bowed again. “Something I should’ve told you, especially when you asked me about the photo on the wall. But I didn’t want to influence things too much. I wanted to see if you three and Nana were connected somehow. It’s a shame there are no easy answers. I’m sorry, is there anything else?”

Even looking at her now, she gave off such a calming presence like my mother. But I knew that she wasn’t my mother. She was just a nice anime lady. My mom was far away from here, in another universe.

I gave her a friendly smile, a good night wish, and excused myself. I turned to Ami’s room. I knocked once. A tired Ami leaned her face out the door but blocked any view of the room. I asked her if everything was okay.

“I was just about to change. Sorry, I’m really sleepy.”

I accepted that and wished her a good night. She smiled and closed the door.

I lingered a moment, then went back to my room. I clicked the light off and pulled the futon blanket around me. I slipped my glasses into my bag and shut my eyes. I could hear rough footsteps in the room next to me. Katsumi was skulking around. I let that and a thousand random thoughts drift from my mind.

Ease didn’t find me, but tiredness finally took me.

-----

I didn’t expect any dreams, but one found me.

I stood in front of Nana’s gray door.

The door slid open.

Ripples through the air joined into a single whirlpool in the ceiling.

I heard a voice. “This is all for your sake. I found you. I’ll bring you home to your true home.”

Behind the ripple stood a figure. She had long, pale hair.

She looked like Nana, but she was not Nana.

The hall around me started to twist and contort like it was being pulled in by a tornado. The floorboards shifted but snapped back. The storm settled.

The figure became a tracing. I heard a sharp tone like the phone at the library, followed by static framing the words, “My…sssssssister.”

Something crashed and the shaking returned.

-----

My eyes darted open, confusing images dancing about. I was worried we were having an earthquake. The Japan in my world was known for them. Then I noticed someone’s hands holding me.

I looked up. A girl had her face in mine. She looked scared. Her eyes looked like a pair of huge, flat chestnuts and her hair was a bright, amber blond in the light of the room. Something about her seemed familiar but my mind was still in a fog from the dream.

I heard someone else scuffing across the floor. The blond girl’s face was blurry, but she had a tiny mouth with a small, pink opening. Her head was narrow. I reached around for my glasses. Having them on cleared up the visual but didn’t help with identifying who was shaking me. Her arms felt small but shook well.

I offered a soft, “Hello?”

“It’s me, Jamie! Nathan is here too. When we woke up, our faces had completely changed. Yours did too.”

The voice was the same soft one Jamie had, tinged with panic. I could find no trace of lingering boyish features in Jamie’s soft cheeks over slight cheekbones. They were shaded red on the sides, near the eyes. The face looked youthful.

I looked over Jamie to the other figure standing in the room. I could see the light of morning filtering in. Nathan looked nothing like the sheer bulk of a man he once was, and his new face drove this point home even more. Jamie’s face came to a slender, V-like point. From this angle, Nathan’s face was narrower and even more child-like than Jamie’s.

When he spoke a gentle, “Hello”. the face finally fit the voice. His arms and shoulders had a hint of muscle but just enough to give them feminine contours. They looked so light. Nathan moved with careful, graceful steps. Jamie stood beside him.

I bolted to my feet. Jamie nodded.

I approached Nathan and looked down at him.

Last night, I was about four inches shorter than Nathan. Now, he looked about four inches shorter than me. He was around Miki’s height.

I was going to look down at myself but Jamie told me, “You’ll want a mirror, c’mon.”

They led me to the toilet near Nana’s room and I looked.

If Jamie looked young, and Nathan looked younger, then I really looked youngest. I had something of Katsumi’s rounded features. I had to wonder if karma was somehow involved.

Those blue eyes were far apart on my face. My nose, ever-dwindling, looked like little more than an overly-artistic pimple. It projected when I turned my head, but it was still so dainty. And my arms and shoulders were very spindly compared with Nathan’s. I felt so weak.

My attention was drawn to my face. I touched it carefully with my tiny, new fingers. I said a hesitant, “Hello.” The voice fit the face too and it rang in my head like a bell.

I started suddenly shaking. I lunged at the glass and struck it. Shards, like sparkling rain, nibbled at my arms. I staggered back against the wall and said in a voice that thundered through Mecchen House, “NO! WHOEVER! WHATEVER YOU ARE! I WON’T LET YOU DO THIS ANYMORE!” Nathan and Jamie backed away.

I drifted to the ground, wondering what any of this would accomplish. Then came the tears, draining out of me like liquid exhaustion.