Chapter 21 – Shards (cont.)

I went inside first with the others close behind. Carolyn was tidying up. I smiled. He smiled back and said, “Welcome to our shop. Can I help you girls?”

Jamie ground his fist into his hips. “I’ve had enough of your teasing!”

Carolyn straightened up. “Oh… my sincere apologies. Uh… sir?” He gave a mystified-looking blink at Jamie. I could already tell something wasn’t right about all this.

Jamie brushed a sleeve. “That’s better. I suppose you want an update on our situation. We still seem to be… female. And this is the one responsible!” He launched an accusing arm to point out Hitomi, who leaned against the glass. Her mouth clenched shut and her eyes narrowed.

Carolyn gave each of us a look. Akiko peeked over the side of my hip and seemed to pick at the scabs on her hand.

He scratched at his forehead a few times and flipped back a bit of hair. “I think you five may have me confused with someone else… maybe. Or I’m just really confused.”

Jamie’s face went slack. “Wha… Carolyn Tomas…u?”

He nodded. “That’s my name, yeah.”

Akiko dashed over to grab a black comb on the table. Only I noticed. Keiko and Jamie were focused on Carolyn, and Hitomi had her eyes shut. Seeing what she had been able to do with the girls in Mecchen House, I had a pretty good hunch about what she had done here. Akiko pressed the teeth of the comb into the palm of her hand.

Keiko stepped closer to Carolyn. “You don’t remember us? We’re your friends.”

Carolyn leaned on his broom and gave each of us a careful look. “Friends… uh… huh. What are your names?”

The three of us gave our male names first.

This left Carolyn perplexed. “The names sound familiar. But those are all boy names. Did we meet in Brookville?”

Jamie gave a sigh of relief. “At least you remember that. Yes, we did meet there. We were friends and you and I dated for a little while. I was a boy then.”

Carolyn mused on this information and brushed the floor a bit more. “I… uh… it’s strange. I can feel something, but as soon as I try to grab at it, it’s as though the memory is picked up by the wind and blown away. I guess that doesn’t make much sense though.”

Jamie turned a focused glare on Hitomi. “It makes more sense than you’d expect…” It was enough to make Jamie tighten a hand but not do much more than that. Shaking Hitomi around would likely perplex Carolyn even more and thus far violence hadn’t done us much good.

Carolyn seemed perplexed enough anyway. He strained as he looked at us, but his empty expression remained. Akiko had bright red marks on her palm. She scratched at them a little. I asked Carolyn, pointing to Hitomi, “Have you seen this woman before right now?”

He brushed back his hair, gave her a good look, and said, “She kinda looks familiar but I really can’t say from where. I’m afraid this is all very confusing.”

We prodded Carolyn further. Keiko asked gently with quick, soft questions. Jamie asked tough ones, grilling Carolyn on his old life and trying to fill in our details. I asked only one more.

“Are you happy today?”

He chuckled. “It’s odd you would ask me that on a day like this. But it’s strange, despite not knowing how my parent’s house will fare or anything, I feel this strange serenity flowing through me. I suppose that doesn’t make any sense, but there you have it.”

I bowed to him and said, “I thank you for listening to us. We won’t bother you about this anymore. I hope you have a safe evening.”

He bowed back. “I appreciate that. I’ll be fine. I’m closing up soon anyway, seeing as there hasn’t been a customer all day.”

Jamie glanced at me with alarm and held his arms. “Wait! Could you trim my hair a bit?”

Same as twice before, Carolyn’s tools couldn’t change the hair one bit, leaving her ever more bewildered. With a sigh, Jamie hopped down from the chair, shook his fist at Hitomi, and said, “I HATE YOU!”

Hitomi didn’t waver, though she looked a little pale. It seemed she was holding her breath. We said quick and polite goodbyes to Carolyn, who told us, “You’re welcome here anytime. Sorry I couldn’t be of help.”

I felt a pang looking back at Carolyn as we left.

-----

Jamie assaulted his legs with his hands a few times until he gave a long sigh. “I don’t want you coming inside when we visit Shioriko.”

Hitomi gave no obvious reaction. Keiko stopped beside Hitomi and looked between her and Jamie.

Akiko clenched the comb in her hands again until it looked like she was in pain. I pressed her hand a little and she glanced at me. Though it probably didn’t mean anything to her, I told her in a quiet tone, “No. Stop it.”

I pressed her hand till her other hand relented and she was just holding the comb. Hitomi walked ahead. She watched me and Akiko for a moment then gave a nod to Jamie. She said, “But as you can see, I didn’t harm her. Far from it.”

Jamie leaned forward. “You blocked us from Carolyn’s memory. Why?”

“She became too influential an ingredient in my recipe, though not the most. Things have to be managed.”

I felt warm anger throughout my entire body. I wondered, was this from my element?

Jamie scoffed. “She is a human being!”

“Yes, merely a human being. Not one of us.”

Jamie shook his head. “So what? She has the right to live her life without being some… ’flavoring’ of yours!”

Hitomi took a breath. Some color returned to her features. “Of course you’d think that. Your minds are all still bound within human confines. Soon though, you’ll understand all the effort your sister put into liberating you from this human prison.”

Jamie put his face right in front of hers. “And what are all these ‘efforts’ and ‘influences’ and whatnot you refer to? I’ve had it with vague hints!”

Her gaze traced Jamie’s features. “Specifics, huh? Try this…” She held a hand to herself. “Why do you think Keiko found that anime shop to begin with?” A little gust curled around her and drifted past Jamie, against the flow of the storm.

She walked around Jamie and down the street. He seemed stunned but quickly turned. “W-wait a second. You!”

We all rushed after her. I had to strain to keep pace while holding onto Akiko. She seemed hesitant to move. She nearly tumbled once with a grunt.

My mind was tracing backward. Hitomi had already admitted to using Nana to leave those memory figures in specific places. And I suspected her hand was in other things. But if she was connected with how all this began… then how much after that was her doing?

Jamie got to her first and turned her around. “Explain!”

The face that turned revealed a fearsome aspect. Hitomi curled Nana’s cheeks and brought forth her teeth. Keiko staggered back. I narrowed my eyes and Jamie held his ground.

“Why should I explain?! So I can just endure another round of hatred from those I love?”

Jamie stammered and eventually said, “You claim to care so much for your ‘sisters’. You think those sisters are us. So, explain for the sake of keeping confusion from your ‘sisters’.”

Hitomi leaned her head. “Confusion is a human flaw. When you’re all cleansed, then there will be no confusion about what I’ve done. We will all know and understand completely.”

Akiko held out her comb. She tossed it towards the street. A car rolled over it, splintering the teeth and rendering it useless. I tugged Akiko away. She kept watching the cracked remnants.

Keiko caught the meaning in Hitomi’s statement before the rest of us. “You can’t remember everything…”

Hitomi bowed her head. “I know the critical details, but I know only the path I laid out for myself. The rest is either beyond the reach of this shell I wear or has been scattered.”

Jamie folded his arms. “What do you mean ‘scattered’? In those weird animal figures?”

Hitomi smirked. “Not quite, though the same basic concept.”

My hand suddenly felt empty. I looked out into the street. Akiko had jumped from the curb and into the path of a rapidly-advancing truck. I felt a rush of heat and repeated memory.

I dashed across the pavement, yelling words that probably made no sense to Akiko. She looked between me and the truck. Time stretched. I wondered if her thoughts had any recognition of her actions. I scooped her up, lifting her off her feet, ignoring any protests.

The truck was too close. With Akiko and me together, I wasn’t strong enough to carry her the rest of the distance.

I heard a roar in my ears. I felt lifted across the ground like I was being carried by a massive hand. I clutched Akiko tight.

The sound quieted. Jamie and Keiko yelled and dashed carefully across the street to see if I was safe. I looked down at Akiko. “Don’t do that ever again!”

Still, her face betrayed no recognition of my words. I pinched a bit of her skin, and she whimpered and hid her face from me. I hoped that would work. She held my shirt but not my hand.

I told Jamie and Keiko I was fine as we rejoined Hitomi. She looked out of breath. She trembled and took a few long breaths before finally stating, “A sister’s love three times repaid.”

Jamie frowned. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

Hitomi laid out her hands. “My most ‘grounded’ sister’s little brush with reality. A hand holding the fire back. And just now.”

Again, Keiko put it together first. “When Jamie nearly got hit when we first arrived here… and when Nana stopped Kelly from that runaway truck.”

So, that was connected, I thought to myself.

Hitomi seemed to permit herself a glimmer in her purple eyes. “Reflected fragments…”

Jamie pressed on the clamps in his hair. “Are you saying… that you’ve been directly involved… in stuff like what happened when I… uh almost made a serious mistake?” He curled his hands inwards across his shoulders.

Hitomi brushed Nana’s hair in response. “I’m saying that I’ve been ‘directly involved’, as you say, in everything. A careful cook and a watched pot.”

She walked ahead a little. Not far enough to encourage us to run after her, though we had to hustle to keep pace. Jamie stretched out his hand, ready to punctuate his next question, but the words drifted away from him.

Keiko stuck closer to Hitomi. Jamie, Akiko, and I lingered behind. No more swift cars barreled by. The city center looked abandoned. Most shops were closed. Lost curls of paper drifted through like wandering children, slumping in place until a breeze urged them onward. They each journeyed alone, never once finding one another.

The train platform was empty, and a simple note was placed on the ticket machine. All fares were free till further notice due to the storm.

Hitomi and Keiko spoke in hush tones. I caught a word or two occasionally.

“…kind of loss…”

“…can’t imagine…”

“…don’t want to hurt…”

I stretched my back on the bench and sat Akiko beside me. She sat on the bench obediently, her eyes searched low and didn’t look up. I didn’t know if she was still upset with me. I folded my arms, and Jamie sat beside with his hands clenching the edge of the bench.

He asked softly, “Why are we doing this?”    

“What do you mean?” The arm position made me feel warm.

Jamie shrugged his shoulders. “Why all this? Why let her tell us where to go?”

“I asked her to prove to us that she didn’t harm our friends.”

He shut his eyes. “Is that so? So, how come I feel like we’re tracing exactly the linear path she means for us to follow?”

“She did claim to be orchestrating everything.”

Jamie smacked his hands together. “Exactly! We should be challenging her more, we should be fighting back against what she’s done to us!”

I glanced at Hitomi. Her head was turned away, but the wind was blowing from us to her. I suspected she could hear our every word.

“Physical pressure hasn’t done much for us so far and besides, she mentioned contingencies.”

Jamie snorted. “Well, I’d like to call her bluff.”

“Really?”

His hands drifted apart. “What else can I do?”

Akiko leaned in to sniff at my hands. She blinked a bit as the wind ground at her hair and toyed with mine.

I answered, “I don’t know but I think… if we are patient, an opportunity may present itself to us.”

Jamie pressed against the back of the bench and gave a head gesture towards Hitomi. “Don’t go sounding like her…”

I gave Jamie a shoulder-to-shoulder poke. His shoulder felt rigid.

I said, “I promise to try my best. I told you I would set things right.”

He laid his head and his mass of bound hair against the back of the bench. “And you promised you would get us home. Heh. Actually, you didn’t need to. We never left.”

Jamie gave a morbid chuckle and brought his hands over his face. “And now everything is gone or a part of her… recipe. Whatever the hell that means. Maybe there’s no way out…”

I clutched his shoulder. “Don’t talk like that.”

“How do you know it’s not all inevitable?”

“I don’t. But I also know Hitomi isn’t perfect. She’s made mistakes.” My back tingled with warmth.

Jamie turned away. “What if those mistakes mean nothing? What if they’re intentional?”

I urged him with a half-whisper, “We don’t know…”

He only breathed as an answer, his face turned away from me.

I stood, keeping a careful hold on Akiko. “So, what will you do?”

He revealed part of one eye. He set the plush down on the bench and curled the end of Tara’s sweater. “I only have one thing. I’ll be as much myself as possible: A closed-off, guyish slacker.” He gave the plushie a shove. He pulled off the sweater, briefly flashing his stomach, and set it atop the plush. Akiko eyed the soft lumps curiously.

When the train rolled into the station, Jamie stood without picking either up. He took a few steps forward before finally turning back and clutching the fabric ball with one hand like a fluffy rag.

Keiko and Hitomi kept to themselves on one side of the train, and the three of us on the other side. Jamie narrowed his eyes at Keiko, who bowed her head apologetically.

Hitomi cleared her throat and said, “I remember we used to ride the trains all the time. The four of us.” She glanced at Akiko and laid her hands on Keiko’s. “My body would always get motion sickness, so you would sit with me, Arisu. Kimi would sit with a book. I’d tease out a bit of air from an open window to play with your hair. You would give me this look that I think you learned from Toki.”

She caressed the back of Keiko’s hands. “And Keiko would be up and about, testing the train like the deck of a land-locked ship. With my eldest sister’s warm presence near, I felt safe and happy.”

Her eyes trembled again. She used one hand to steady them and brush back Nana’s hair. “But that was another time and another place…and another life.”