*NOTE - This is recommended to be read after the Mecchen House main series because it contains some spoilers.*

The Night Before Katsumi Changes Christmas Forever

*KATSUMI seizes JAMIE and tugs her over to the living room, which is decorated for Christmas.*

JAMIE - “Ow! Quit it!..."

*KATSUMI places a piece of paper with a drawing and a poem in JAMIE’s hands. The drawing is of a blushing, blond-haired girl in a red Santa dress inserted into a snowing cityscape.”

*JAMIE blinks and eyeballs the image*

JAMIE – “What the heck is this?”

*KATSUMI rolls her eyes*

KATSUMI –“What you’ll be reading, of course!”

*JAMIE pokes the paper with a finger*

JAMIE – “And who is the blond on the top?”

*KATSUMI glares*

KATSUMI – “It’s supposed to be you!”

*JAMIE eyes the image again.*

JAMIE – “It’s a poor forgery…”

KATSUMI – “I used Photoshop on an image I had because I didn’t like my drawing.”

*JAMIE eyes Katsumi*

JAMIE – “You mean you swiped an image and tried to pass it off as me…”

*KATSUMI clenches her fists*

Katsumi – “I BORROWED IT!”

*JAMIE traces the image with his finger*

JAMIE – “Well…I’d never blush and smile like that. Plus, my hair is short now and…”

*KATSUMI throws up her hands*

KATSUMI – “FINE! Just read the poem!”

JAMIE – “Why?”

*KATSUMI thinks a bit*

KATSUMI – “Because…you’ll get immunity from me till next year.”

*JAMIE’s eyes widen. Then, he thinks about it and narrows them again.*

JAMIE  – “Oh joy, seven days. How generous…”

*KATSUMI stomps the floor*

KATSUMI – “Just read it!”

*JAMIE sighs but looks to the paper*

JAMIE – “Ahem…

Twas the night before Christmas and all through Mecchen House;
Only Katsumi was stirring…cause she’s such a louse.”

KATSUMI – “My lyrics! Not yours!”

*JAMIE sticks out a bit of tongue in KATSUMI’s direction.*

JAMIE –

“ …Only Katsumi was stirring, clutching tight to a blouse.
Silk stockings were set with a gown she chose;
In the hopes that she might dress up a boy in these clothes.
The others were sleeping and quite unaware;
At what she was cooking up…in her lair.”

KATSUMI – “To prepare!”

JAMIE – “I like my version better…

Mami in her nightgown and Miss Ishida in her bed;
If Kimi misreads this again then she’s most certainly dead…”

*JAMIE glances over to KATSUMI*

*KATSUMI nods to herself*

KATSUMI– “Wise words…”

JAMIE –

“None heard the great crashes outside and the notes of distress;
For Katsumi, she heard only sounds of success.
She flew to the door, slipped her shoes on, and gave them a tap;
Anxious as ever to check on her trap

…I can think of another word that rhymes with ‘trap’…”

KATSUMI glares harshly.

JAMIE –

“Bowing a tree and in much disarray;
Was the unmistakable shape of Santa’s red sleigh.
All eight strapped-in reindeer were notably stressed;
One false move and they’d be like Katsumi’s chest.”

KATSUMI – “Leaving a mess!”

*JAMIE smirks*

JAMIE – “I just censored your version for the sake of children…

The pudgy old driver clambered down to a bough;
And slid to the white ground with an ‘ow!’.
Katsumi folded her arms with pride in her work,
Followed by the shine of a great, scheming smirk.
Santa cowered and asked for the reason,
That she would stick such a wrench in the holiday season.
Katsumi laughed without any remorse,
And told him, “For girl-making, of course.”
She laid out her plans as he looked on in fear,
And down tumbled eight dazed reindeer and gear.

You’re even more twisted than I expected.”

*KATSUMI waves her hands*

KATSUMI – “You’re getting to the good part!”

JAMIE – “I’ll be sure to brace myself psychologically…

Before Santa could act, she’d seized hold of his cap;
Which was, after all, the goal of this trap.
As soon as she wore the cap on her head,
His twinkling eyes were both filled with dread.
He feared for the world, he feared for all men,
Because Katsumi had all of his powers then.
She spoke no word but a cackle of glee;
And made her first change, of Santa…to ‘she’.

Shock…of shocks.”

KATSUMI – “Read it!”

JAMIE –

“Her clothes were soft satin of the girliest kind,
Her form was much smaller and with the cutest behind.
Her cheeks were still red but due to a blush,
Her hair, while still white, was a great deal more lush.
She fussed and she stammered with an adorable shiver,
But Santa-chan pointed out she still had toys to deliver.
Katsumi nodded and assured Christmas cheer,
As she ominously told Santa, ‘I’ll take over from here.’ “

KATSUMI – “I never wrote ‘ominously’!!!”

JAMIE – “It’s assumed…

She waved her hands at the sleigh team’s anxious faces;
and there were soon cute girls in all of their places.
She fixed all the presents and righted the sleigh;
Then told her, “I’ll finish your job and then we can…play.”
While Santa-chan gulped, Katsumi leapt to the sleigh;
And with just a quick glare, the girls flew away.
But before she was gone, in full Christmas splendor;
Katsumi pointed out, “After tonight, all will be of one gender!”
“Good little boys and the bad ones too;
Will no longer be boys but Sallys and Sue!”
“So Merry Christmas to all and so all may know;
The male gender is about to go!”

…and, thankfully, it ends there."

*Katsumi nods*

KATSUMI – “I decided that was enough.”

JAMIE – “I thank you with all my heart…”

*KATSUMI stomps*

KATSUMI – “I’m not a bad writer!”

JAMIE – “Stick to drawing…”

KATSUMI – “You’re getting stockings, a gown, and a more-girlish attitude this Christmas!!!”

*KATSUMI stalks off*

JAMIE – “So much for immunity…I’d rather have coal.”