The Boring Pervert

“So, I summoned someone, and gave them a system designed just for them. Yet they’ve not been doing anything.”

“Hmmm… oh, this guy? This rank E adventurer? Yeah, seems he’s just gathering herbs. What system does he have? Oh… You idiot.”

“What? It’s part of the automatic dream granting system! How can it be wrong?”

“You picked the wrong guy. Or should I say you picked the wrong girl?”

“What? Why do you… woah, that’s a weird fetish.”

“Yeah, despite being a male in their 30s, they want to be a young lady, with lots of lovers of both sexes having orgies all day and night. That’s not a dream they can actually get.”

“The system will help them, they just need xp!”

“They get xp from doing things that match their dream. So, in this case, they need to get fucked, or give people orgasms.”

“They can just hire a prostitute!”

“With what money? They can’t afford a trip to another town, and the town they are in doesn’t have a brothel. Plus I’m pretty sure they aren’t making enough money unless they want to spend a year’s worth of savings on it.”

“… you really don’t think this one will ever get any xp?”

“Not unless something weird happens. No one is gonna be interested in them in a way that would let them get xp, and their personality is way too introverted to go out and seek the right kind of partner.”

“… I guess I really picked the wrong person to summon.”

“Honestly, even if they got enough xp, I don’t think they’d be very interesting. They’d just make a harem and fuck all day long. You need to find someone with more ambition if you want something interesting to happen. Either that, or give them powers that force them to deal with important events, whether they want to or not.”

“Oooh, what if I make the demon king fall in love with them!”

“He’s already married, that’s kinda rude.”

“So? That’d just make for even more drama!”

“You’re really an ass. I’m glad I don’t live in one of your worlds.”

“At least they aren’t as boring as your peaceful worlds are.”

“My worlds are plenty interesting! The entertainment industry is flourishing!”

“Without any real stakes, how can those tournaments and contests have any proper tension? Too boring!”

“Tsk. Fine, go have fun with your house wrecking plan.”

C1 Boring Life

I’ve read plenty of stories about people sent to other worlds with special game-like systems to help them. Cheat powers and such. I’ve also read plenty of smutty works about men who get corrupted into becoming slutty women. I never expected to end up in both at the same time.

Welcome! I am your personal perversion provider! Customized to suit your needs!

Suit my needs? Is that why I have to dress like a girl and seduce men to earn points? I think it’d be more likely to just make them vomit if I tried. I’m an overweight man. I’d look awful in a dress. Now, I don’t really object to wearing dresses, but I do object to looking awful.

The powers of the system are personalized to your deepest, most secret desires!

… I’m trans. It’s not really a secret. I just don’t go around announcing it to people because there’s no point. I’m living as a man, because trying to pass as a woman is a doomed and futile idea. 

Want to be mounted in a wall and get fucked by strangers? We’ve got skills to help you make that happen! Just earn enough points!

Okay, that’s something I’d not want to admit to. I doubt it’d even really be all that fun. It’s just a dumb fantasy. Characters in hentai always seem to be way happier than I’d expect real people to be in those situations.

Now go out there and collect lusty looks from others, and proof of lust from the orgasms of lovers!

Yeah, no. I wouldn’t know how to get someone to look at me lustily with my appearance, and I’m not about to start molesting strangers.

So, I’m stuck in a foreign world with no cheats… well, I’ve got one.

Healing Herb:
Useful for making healing potions.

I can identify plants and other items pretty easily, which helps a ton with collecting herbs to sell in town. It’s not very profitable, but it’s a decent living, and the people in town are grateful. 

It’s seriously boring though.

C2 Angry Queen

Divorce? Divorce!? Has the king gone mad!?

“I have found my true love! She is waiting for me! I must go!”

That was what I woke up to. A madman crying out and running out the door, not even properly dressed. I spend so much time trying to cater to his every desire and whim, and now he just leaves? How can I face my family, if he abandons me? It’s because of our marriage that my family has gained so much prestige! Without the King’s favor, how could our brothels be so successful? Because of him choosing me to be his wife, it’s become common for each brothel head to become the wife or concubine of the local lord! If he divorces me, it could start a chain reaction of divorce and ruin us!

I have to hurry! I have to follow him! I have to deal with this hussy who dares steal my husband!

“Madam, do you really believe there is such a lady? How could he know? It was probably just a strange dream. Surely, he’ll just come back disappointed and sad, and you can comfort him then.”

“No, it’s known that the king is the chosen of god, and can receive prophetic dreams. While it may be rare, and unlikely, if this is actually one of those dreams, I can’t afford to ignore it.”

C3 Fated Meeting

“Get off me!”

“You’re the one! The lady of my dreams!”

“You’re crazy!”

“I just see you as you really are!”

“You’re delusional!”

“Your lovely green hair.”

“It’s black!”

“Emerald eyes.”

“Those are also black!”

“Your tiny figure!”

“I’m over two hundred pounds!”

His description perfectly matched an MMO character I’d made once, but I looked nothing like that. Wtf is this guy? I looked over at the lady standing to the side, and tried to express my plea for help on my face.

“Sorry, I don’t know what to do with this idiot. He’s obviously gone mad.” 

*sigh* Maybe I can just ignore him?

“Are you collecting herbs? I’ll have the royal guard come and collect all the herbs in the area for you!”

“Don’t you dare! If you bring the guards here, it’ll start a war!”

“What? Don’t stop me wife! I’ll divorce you!”

“Then I’ll just take your crown and declare you incompetent to rule! Anyone who witnesses this farce would agree with me, that you’ve gone completely mad!”

“I’m not mad! This lady really is the one in my dreams! She’s perfect!”

“Anyone can tell that’s a man!”

On the one hand, I kinda want to assert that I’m really a woman. On the other hand, I really don’t want to support this madman’s claims. 

“Can you just go home and leave me be for now? If we’re truly fated, then we’ll surely meet again.” 

“I want to take you with me! You’re the woman of my dreams!”

“Can’t you tell you’re getting on their nerves?! A lady doesn’t like it when a man’s too forceful!”

“Alright, alright, I’ll go back for now. I’ll be back!”

Thank goodness. His wife managed to convince him to back off for now. I really hope he doesn’t come back anytime soon.

C4 Plotting and planning

Unfortunately, a few days later, the two of them were back.

“I dream of you every night! I want you so badly!”

“I’m sorry, you have to be married to this freak.”

“I’m becoming rather sorry about that too. It was just a political marriage, but he’s really getting annoying. Constantly whining about how he needs you.”

“I do! I need you! You’re so wonderful! So fresh! So sexy!”

“Stupid husband. Let go of her, and let me talk with her in private. Since you want her so badly, be obedient and I’ll see what I can do.”

“Yes! Whatever you want! I need her!”

The lady then took me aside to talk, far enough that her husband shouldn’t be able to hear.

“Alright, let’s talk. This guy is getting really annoying and I don’t know how long I can stall him from doing something really, incredibly, stupid.”

“Well, I guess the first thing is that he’s not completely wrong.”

“How so?”

I then explained the system I got, and how if I got enough points, I could become a woman, and did actually want to be one.

“So, if he did fuck you, you’d become a woman.”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t really sound like fun. Having some stranger force themselves on me really isn’t my idea of a good time. I need to be convinced, not forced.”

“Like for favors or profits or something?”

“Yeah. You married for political gains right? You should know what I mean about wanting to be convinced.”

“I do. I too would find his current behavior a turn off, if he were after me and I didn’t know him. However, if I knew he could give me what I wanted, I might put up with it. Why don’t you?”

“I don’t really know if I want it badly enough for that, and he really acts like a crazy delusional guy. I don’t trust him. How am I supposed to know what he’ll do?”

“How about me? Would you trust me?”

“You’ve been a lot nicer and more reasonable, so probably.”

“Alright, how about you come back with us. I’ll tie him to a leash if necessary or lock him up, so you can have some peace. Then we can work out a deal to help you get what you want, and help me get what I want. I think just showing people how he acts around you should be enough for me to finish taking over as king.”

“Okay… He’s really not gonna leave me alone if I refuse, will he?”

“Not likely. I don’t think I could keep him caged against his will for too long.”

*sigh* “At this point, I think I’d rather have my first time be with you than him.”

“Perhaps that can be arranged.” 

I liked the smile she had as she said that.

C5 Bedroom Play

“Why must I be tied up? Why can’t I join you?”

“We want you to watch, that’s why. Unless you prefer to be kicked out?”

“No! No, I’ll watch, I’ll watch.”

We were in the king’s bedroom, and Elrya was going to be my first.

“I’ve not been on top before. I think I like it. Now show me what you can do with that mouth and tongue of yours.” 

Now that you’re finally getting into your role, the system can help!

“Wow, you really learn fast. Mmmm. You should pay attention dear husband. You might need to learn to do this too.”

“Why are you the one with her? She’s my fated woman!”

“Well, I’m already your wife. So obviously, if you want to marry another wife, then we wives need to get along. Isn’t that right, dear?”

She gave me room to speak.

“Yeah, I don’t want to marry a man who treats women like toys to be discarded when they aren’t fun anymore.”

“Right, you aren’t that kind of man, are you?”

“Uh, no, no, of course not!”

I got back to eating her out. Finally earning points! Plus, I kinda liked Elrya. Staying with her didn’t seem like a bad idea, or a bad outcome. 

C6 Divine Discussion

“That was settled disappointingly fast. Was kinda entertaining though.”

“I told you it was the wrong choice of person. Though I do like how they seduced the Demon Queen and just keep the King as a pet. Poor King has been totally ruined by the dreams you gave him.”

“Hahaha! I just showed him a possible future. He totally botched his effort to attain it though.”

“Still feels weird that she’s content with just a single wife and husband. The system could give her so much more, but she really has no ambition and is content already. All she did was improve her skills in bed, and change her body to match her desires. She’s leaving so many of her perverted fantasies unfulfilled.”

“I told you, she’s just not the right person to change the world.”

“Maybe I just need to stir the pot a little more.”

***Author Note***

A weird idea that just kept going for a while. I've got other things I'm supposed to be writing, not this! >_< Oh well. I can't control my imagination.