“Nakagawa-san, can I have a chat with you?”

For the first time, I was pulled into the boss's office. I could feel those eyes pierce my back life knives as I entered his room, and he shut the door behind me.

"You've made quite a lot of sales recently."

I nodded.

"But you used the wrong codes, and now each and every sell you made has to be fixed. You put most of your customers on the wrong plans, and they believed they were getting different deals. It's… a mess."

 

 

“I… didn’t realize.”

“Listen Nakagawa-san, I like you… and that’s why I’m going to give you another chance.”

It was then that… I snapped. Here this man was, the person who berated me daily for the last 6 months or so… saying that he was on my side? Throughout all the torment he put me through in front of my peers, he… wanted me to thank him for giving me a chance to redeem myself?

“You can… go fuck yourself.”

 

 

My voice felt like ice as my bitterness came out. I ripped my badge from my hip and tossed it at the scumbag before storming out. My makeup was running, my hair was disheveled as I threw my tie on the ground and stormed out. It wasn't until I was outside on that warm spring day did I realize how big of a mistake I had made.

This wasn’t just my life that I was jeopardizing… it was Madoka’s also…. My life… wasn’t my own, and that was too much for me to handle.

As I rode home while crying, I found it too hard to continue as I pulled over on the side of the road and placed my head on the steering wheel. The heat and fan were roaring, making me wail with grief. Everything about my situation was pathetic.

“Where are they? Th-They promised they’d help me.”

My friends who were at the funeral, the ones who promised me all kinds of help… never helped me. Occasionally, the Watanabe's would come and give Madoka and me things… but I began feeling that all their handouts were just… pity. I didn’t need pity… I needed help.

“Why… did you leave me with a daughter like this?”

I blamed the man I loved… for leaving far too soon. It wasn’t his fault, but I needed someone… anyone to blame for this horrible situation I put myself in. I was out of a job and still needed money for the upcoming bills. Food was scarce, Madoka was growing, and she needed all the attention she could get at this age in her life.

So… I prayed as I reached out to…. my brother-in-law.

“Hello?”

“Ah… hello… I’m looking for Nakagawa Ryuji.”

“Oh, give me a second. May I ask who’s calling?”

“It’s… his sister-in-law, Nakagawa Ayumi.”

“Okay, please hold.”

When I was on hold… I quietly thought about everything. Nakagawa Ryuji was the younger brother of Nakagawa Akari. When we met in high school, He was a third-year, and I was a first-year. Our relationship with one another was… a strange one.

That’s because… I met Ryuji's brother, Nakagawa Akari, who was just getting into college. It was a warm day when he was picking up his little brother, and we just… clicked.

I didn’t realize something important until after Ryuji graduated. It was months after being with his brother for most of that year that…

That Ryuji… had feelings for me that he didn't express until later.

Of course… I rejected him, and we barely spoke to one another from that day forward.

Ever since then, we wouldn't really be in the same room alone together. That awkwardness never faded, and I found it easier… not to speak with my brother-in-law often, especially after his older brother passed away.

I don’t think Ryuji ever got over… me rejecting him back then, either. He would never bring it up… but something inside of me… told me that.

“Ayumi?”

“Huh?”

Before I was ready, I found myself on the phone… alone with Ryuji. He sounded so much like his older brother that it took me off guard. My throat became dry as he repeated.

“Ayumi, are you there?”

He asked.

“…I need help, Ryuji.”

I finally admitted. The conversation became hazy, but I confessed to Ryuji that I struggled. I told him about the months of abuse at my job and how I… how I couldn't handle raising Madoka in these conditions. That I didn't know what to do and that…

I needed someone’s help… That I needed his help… Despite how horrible I’ve treated him in the past.

“Don’t worry, Ayumi.”

He said over my pathetic tears.

“I’ll figure something out. You go home and sleep… I promise you that things will change.”

“R-Ryuji… are you sure?”

“Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll make things happen here. You just rest and clear your head, okay?”

“O-Okay.”

I hung up and looked at my phone. Cars passed me as my feelings settled in me. I knew… what I had just done… and felt horrible for it. In silence, I drove home as the guilt rose within me. But that didn't matter at the time. I was lost and needed to find a way out.

That night I went home and slept. I didn't cry. Madoka didn't have to cuddle me to sleep, but she did anyway. When I was wrapped in her arms… that's when I realized that it felt nice….

To give my worries to others.

 

---

 

It's hard to give up everything and dedicate oneself to being the perfect parent. Never in my life did I imagine that I would have this heavy burden on me sprung out of nowhere. I was adopted into a family before I was old enough to remember. My biological mother gave me up to a man and a woman who couldn't have children.

 

 

My surname at that time was Asato. Ayumi was the name given to me by my biological mom. My father and mother would tell me once I got older how I was adopted.... and I accepted that.

I loved my parents… and they provided me with the world as I grew up. I was showered with love and could always go to them when things got rough. While I was in college, I got pregnant with Madoka. A few years earlier, dad passed away due to his declining health, and mom’s, Madoka’s grandma, was declining too. Before Madoka was born, mom died, and it broke me.

But Akari held me tight and promised to stay with me. I… gave all my worries to him, and we had a beautiful baby girl we showered with love before long.

I wasn’t worried about the future back then.

 

---

 

On the interview day, I was the only one able to give Madoka a good life. My dad and mom… and even the love of my life was gone. There was nobody I could go to and share my worries with anymore. I… had to fight to give Madoka the life she needed.

And it weighed on me…

After the interview, I was accepted. It was a formality because Ryuji had already promised me the job. I just had to go through the proper channels even though I didn't meet the credentials to have the position I applied for.

The first day I stepped into the office, it was a madhouse. Papers were flying left and right; people were panicked, and even a few were in the corner crying their eyes out like they were in world war IV.

My new boss, Saitou Risa-san, put her hands on her hips and sighed.

“Welcome home, Nakagawa Ayumi-san.”

She turned and pointed at… her…

The black-haired sparrow that I would get to know intimately. That girl ran around like a chicken with her head cut off. In those tiny hands of hers was a stack of papers. I didn't know what was going on at the time. Thinking back on it, it was probably a mix-up caused by Yashiro and her crazy writing antics, if I had to guess.

“Koda Mari-san! I have a new recruit that I want you to train!”

Her name resonated in my ears. She looked over at me and my boss, a tad confused. With her stack of papers in hand, she walked over gradually. Her stride was that of a model as her short black hair bounced from one end to the other.

“Introduce yourselves!”

Saitou-san demanded. She wasn't like my previous boss, who would find the smallest of things to berate me about. No, she was playful and younger than me. I didn't know it at the time, but Saitou Risa-san was someone others would describe as brilliant.

“Hello, I’m Koda Mari.”

She bowed slightly, and I did the same.

“Ah, Nakagawa Ayumi.”

 

 

She was so much younger than me… and she was my senpai. It was a strange feeling, but eventually, I got used to her, and she did for me. We worked together on many projects, and I dared to say that Mari and I… were the best of teammates. I connected with like Mari.

I recalled this when we finished a grand project, and the branch celebrated it. Mari and I took a picture.

 

 

Above us was a congratulations sign, and in a way, I felt complete that day. It was that day that we went out to the bar…

I got drunk, and she took me home…

Mari wasn't feeling well and came down with a fever as I was passed out in my bed. However, I woke up and stumbled my way to the door of my room. When I opened the door slightly, I witnessed Madoka... taking care of Mari's fever...

And that’s when my two worlds came together…

 

 

Mari met Madoka…

And everything began to spiral out of control…