I'm both the main character and the story.

I can make my life the way I wanted to.

Right now, I need lots of fun.

So I went to the salaryman. Having someone to talk to, even if he's my subconscious creation.

I imagine poking him with my human hands, and his eyes slowly opened up. As the strong sunlight fell directly to his glasses, he felt something burning and took it right away.

He retreated towards a lush big tree while covering his eyes.

It took several moments before he accustomed himself—he scanned his surroundings.

"W-where am I?"

He could not see me since I had no form.

I was too lazy to decide one right now, and what this world's setting was.

...and also this guy.

While I wanted to be the main character, I was too boring to carry the story alone—I need to rely on him.

"You probably got hit by a truck and end up here."

I made my voice sound like an old grandpa. I couldn't get the old man feel right away—it might sound awkward.

"What?" his eyes widened up," Who are you?"

"It's normal to be confused."

I myself had no idea where this story was going.

Let's see, I don't want to make him a typical protagonist either.

What kind of character would be interesting enough, for me to guide?

Hmm...if I tampered too much, it would make things boring. Let's just leave it like that.

"Please answer my question—are you really on my side?"

"Of course, human."

I find it interesting to refer to him as such.

I was formerly a human, and I felt warm when conversing with them.

This man had his palm on his chin; his eyes still scanned his surroundings, but he looked everywhere, but the place I 'stood' on.

"I have come to guide you in this treacherous world. You can refer to me as your 'Cheat Ability' from the Novels."

"Can I really trust you on this?"

While I'm not intelligent myself, this person asked too many unnecessary things—it made him look stupid.

Look, even if you couldn't trust me, I came here with good intentions. You couldn't possibly get a better option since it's my story.

Fine, I'll play along just this once.

"Tell me your wish. Do you want grand adventures? To be the King of the World?"

"No...I just want to go back to Earth."

"What is so interesting about that world? You have to work during the weekend, with no hope for promotion. Where your boss didn't care about you, and your co-workers treated you like air. Is this the kind of life that you want?"

He went silent.

I could see the scenes of him being abused at work. Only having novels, anime, manga, and games to fall back onto.

He would miss those things, along with his caring family.

"If I were to go back, I will quit my job. I want to return to the countryside with my family and find a good wife.

I don't really want to become a hero or the main character in some novel, All I want is just a quiet life—is that too much to ask?"

Hmph.

I hate when people try to climb over me--not knowing their position.

"That's ironic, human. You don't really trust me, but you demand me to return you to Earth?"

"That is..."

"Everything has a price--I never said I will do anything for free. What can you offer, that makes me CARE about your problems?"

"I have nothing."

He could only look down and beg for pity.

"Get out of my sight."

Since it cost me nothing to bring him back, I might as well do it.

With my finger 'flick', his body went poof.

If he decided to 'pay', I would at least tell his family that he's alright, and after adventuring for several years or months—I'd send him back with tons of dope skills.

...but we didn't seem to have good compatibility.

I always hate these kinds of spineless, no-drive main characters that think the world revolves around them. At least they're decent if they actually wanted to 'improve'.

It's alright, I guess.

He's just a human being; I also have my own flaws.

I might be too harsh on him; I hope he can get better and claim his own happiness.

In the meantime, I will look for interesting 'main characters' to follow.

Even if I kept failing, it's better than nothing.

At least I wouldn't 'die' of boredom.

gaylolis

I decide to go with this plot for now.

The reason I'm including 'nonsense' in the title--I don't care much about realism.

I'm not sure if this MC can be considered as a Mob Protagonist, since they kinda want to observe and 'advise' the main characters, rather than doing stuff.