With their final exam done and dusted, Claudia was about ready for a peaceful afternoon doing nothing. Revising so solidly for the past few weeks had really done anumber on her sleeping patterns, and with her defenses low she didn't realise she was being snuck up on until Daisy grabbed her by the arm. It wasn't all that difficult to do since she was sitting up in the common room with Simon and Sophie, though they'd just been about to leave when Daisy jumped them. "Hey, you want to go watch Kingdoms?"
Claudia warily checked the time on her phone while Sophie nodded eagerly. "What, now?"
"Well, not now now. We can go catch a bus after lunch, go straight to Cairn! There's a screening at 3pm at that new cinema," Daisy explained, and clenched her fists with a sparkling smile. "I've been dying to see Conway Graves on the big screen since this film was announced!"
Sophie's smile was a little more devious. "I can't wait to see his ass on that screen. It better get at least one full shot or I'm getting a refund."
"I hope it's only his ass you see," Claudia grumbled. "And only his ass. It's the best one in that film."
"Grey Pierce is pretty good too though. Like, have you seen those abs?" tittered Daisy, fanning herself with her notebook. "Like a washboard."
"Ok yeah, he's very nice to look at. He has such a beautiful face," Claudia eventually fawned, gently touching her hands to her cheeks. "He still has the beard, right?"
Sitting beside them on the padded seats Simon didn't seem so eager to hear their judgements, and gave Daisy an imploring look. "You're going to go watch Kingdoms just to oggle hot men?" he asked incredulously, maybe even a little exasperated at the notion.
"Isn't that what men do with women everyday ?" Sophie offered as a quick rebuttal, earning an impressed 'oh snap!' from Claudia and a high five.
Daisy leant over and pressed a kiss to his cheek, smiling sweetly, and Simon shook his head with an amused smile in the end. "Sounds like it's going to be a good time," he said, before giving Claudia a curious look. "I didn't think it was your type of film though, Claudia. Romance isn't really your thing."
"Yeah but this has pretty immortal people fighting and throwing giant rocks and shit at each other. I can sit through the romance for that," she replied with a shrug, and after some quick goodbyes they were on their way.
The bus was pretty empty when they got on, giving them choice of seats once they'd bought their tickets. As Claudia took one of the side facing seats Daisy and Sophie sat in the forward facing seats right next to her, and they were chatting happily as the bus set off down the road.
Everything was amicable enough until Claudia's phone chimed loudly, and the way she checked it and replied with a smile had both friends watching in curious silence. When she realised, she went red. "What? What's wrong?"
"Who are you texting that makes you smile like that?" Daisy asked with a saucy smile, leaning forward to try and catch a glance of the screen. Claudia quickly stashed it away, but it didn't stop Daisy's innocent prying. "Do you have a crush?"
"Why are you so eager to know all of a sudden?" Claudia managed to sputter, going redder than before.
"Yeah, it's not like she hasn't been texting nearly every day since last month," Sophie mumbled with a snigger, which only fuelled Daisy's enthusiasm to investigate.
"Wait, is it someone we know?"
"I-it's fine, it's nothing important," Claudia tried to disuade her, but it clearly didn't work.
Daisy pouted, and gestured to Sophie with a limp hand. "Sophie knows though. How come I don't get to know?"
"I only know because I figured it out and Claudia's a dumbass for not hiding it better," Sophie retorted with a smug grin to Claudia, who huffed softly at the accusation before turning her attention back to Daisy.
"It's not a big thing, I swear. It's not a crush," she tried to defend, but when her phone buzzed again she froze. Daisy's face lit up, and she waited with baited breath for Claudia to react.
"Aren't you going to answer?" she asked with a giant smile, only for Claudia to shake her head.
"It's not a big deal! Don't worry about it."
"Aw, but won't he be sad if you don't message back?" The comment wasn't helped by Sophie's overdramatic pout and big doe eyes, and only helped Claudia's embarrassment grow.
She already felt bad that she had a crush at all, but now that Daisy was asking Claudia felt there wasn't much she could do. Sighing softly she reached into her pocket and pulled out her phone, and even through all her discomfort it was nice to see what message was waiting for her. Much to her credit Daisy didn't lean forward any further to pry without permisson, but perked up considerably when Claudia seemed ready to talk. "Fine... It's Lloyd," she mumbled bashfully, unable to bring herself to meet Daisy's gaze. Because of this she missed how Daisy's face lit up for a moment. "I-it's nothing big, I swear. I-I..."
"'Nothing big'? What do you mean-- how is that not a big deal?" Daisy's expression had gone from elated to dejected in a heartbeat, her whole body deflating as she frowned.
A little embarrassed for a different reason now Claudia started chewing softly on the hem of her sleeve. "Well, he's your ex... I know you didn't go out for long and everything, but he's pretty close with you and I don't want you to think I'm trying to ruin your friendship or anything," she mumbled guiltily, hoping that the bus had drowned out most of her confession. It was rattling on like a trooper.
But the way Daisy broke into a fit of laughter caught her completely off guard, and she stared in confusion as she tried her best to keep it reigned in. "Claudie, he's a grown man! I'm not going to dictate anything to him, or to you either! If you like him, you go for it!" she told her, beaming once again. Claudia was too stunned to reply, and so Daisy was happy to carry on. "Aah, you two would be so cute together! When are you going to tell him?"
All the colour that had come to Claudia's face left just as quickly, and she nearly dropped her phone. "T-tell him? Together? What-- no, I'm not saying anything!" she managed to sputter, barely managing to keep from slamming the STOP button and jumping off the bus.
Both of them gave her a funny look this time, in complete disbelief at her response. Once again Daisy looked hurt, like Claudia had shot her a nasty personal comment. "Why not? Don't you want him to know?"
"No!" Claudia couldn't help but nearly yell in response, clutching her phone tightly in her hands. This didn't help their confused stares, and she grumbled softly under her breath before bringing herself to reply. "I'm weird. I don't want to make him feel bad-- I'm really happy that I just get to be friends with him. I don't want to ask for anything else."
"So you're just going to sit on this? What if he likes you too?" Daisy implored, taking hold of her arm and squeezing gently. Her expression was desperate, and made it all the more difficult for Claudia to keep eye contact.
So she frowned and looked towards the ground instead. "I... I don't want to disappoint him. I'd rather just be friends."
"He's already friends with you, why would anything change just 'cause you told him this?" Sophie asked instead, her gaze sharp as she fixed it on Claudia.
She balked, looking desperately around the bus for a distraction. "I don't want him to get weirded out though..." she mumbled, even shifting away in her seat a little in a vain attempt at getting away. "Look, I don't really want to talk about this right now."
Daisy let out a frustrated groan, but nodded in the end. "Okay, fine. But we're definitely coming back to this later."
The subject changed and they didn't come back to it for the entire afternoon, though there were one or two teasing remarks comparing Lloyd and Grey Pierce that Claudia would've happily avoided if given the chance. When they asked whether or not Lloyd would look good with a beard she couldn't help but imagine it, but then whenever she imagined his face specifically... There were only so many times she could get flustered around Daisy and Sophie, and now that they'd found out about her crush on Lloyd it was getting worse as every time they noticed they'd ask her about him.
The film was great, very definitely worth the hype. As they were going to catch the bus it was all they could talk about it, though as they sat in the bus station it became more and more clear that what Daisy and Sophie were talking about was more than just how they looked. Still, Claudia knew enough of what to say to keep away any suspicion: she'd watched enough television and movies to know just what to say, what would get the right reactions without going too far. It was weird to be saying such sexual things just to get amused responses from people when she didn't feel them herself, but if it kept her from getting weird looks when she didn't respond at all then it was worth saying.
As she started zoning out on the bus she didn't realise her phone was going off until Sophie gave her a nudge. "Something's buzzing against my elbow," she said, and Daisy started sniggering.
"Couldn't wait til we got home, could you Claudie?" she teased, and as Claudia fished the phone from her pocket she grinned deviously.
"Well, you know how it is when Graves' ass is full-screen," she replied, and as they both dissolved into fresh sniggers Claudia chanced a glance at her phone. Two messages from Lloyd: hopefully there was nothing up.
But apparently her comment wasn't quite enough to distract them, as Sophie caught a glimpse of the screen herself when she glanced over. "He can't leave you alone for one afternoon, can he?" she laughed, and once again Claudia went red.
"It's not like that--" she started, only for Daisy to scooch forward in her seat, tapping her hands enthusiastically to her thighs.
"Aah, what's he saying? Did he say he misses you?"
"I haven't read anything yet!" Claudia managed to speak up as she slipped her phone back into her pocket, only for Daisy to extend her hands with an over-dramatic pout.
"Wait, wait: can we see?" she asked innocently, flexing her fingers in a grabbing motion.
Stomach sinking like lead Claudia's hold on her phone tightened as she let out an uncertain 'uuh', but she wasn't quick enough to think of an excuse as Sophie nudged her again.
"It's not like you're sending each other naked photos," she joked, before she donned the sinister smirk instead. "Unless you are?"
"No! Look, we're just friends," she repeated, and kept her hand firmly in her pocket. "It doesn't feel right showing other people. They're private conversations!"
"Aah, so you're talking about things you don't want other people to know about?" Sophie said with a wiggle of her eyebrows.
Claudia knew what she meant and wanted very desperately to prove her wrong, but there were messages in her inbox about Lloyd's dad and his home life that she definitely didn't want divulged. Even if it meant more embarrassing teasing, it was worth it to keep those out of sight. With a wry smile Claudia nodded. "Obviously, or they wouldn't be private!"
"Y'know what, I'm sure I could find out from the other side," Daisy mumbled conspiratorially as she brought her own phone out, and Claudia felt the dread run through her once again as Sophie leapt into the empty seat next to Daisy. If she started asking weird questions, it was only a matter of time before he found out about this and he'd stop talking to her for sure.
"Seriously guys, it's not a big deal--" she tried to disuade them, but Daisy was a painfully fast texter and had a message sent off in seconds.
"I bet-- I bet-- he likes you too," Daisy said confidently, ignoring the miserable sigh from Claudia as she held her head in her hand.
"If you tell him anything--"
"I won't! I swear!" she quickly defended, though she couldn't stop a sly grin from creeping onto her features. "I'm just going to ask a few questions...!"
"Daisy, please..." Claudia grumbled, only to be cut off by the chirp of Daisy's phone. She and Sophie quickly leant in to check the screen, and though Sophie looked disappointed by the response Daisy chuckled.
"I asked what you were messaging about, and he said you're talking about Conway Graves' ass."
"We already knew that," Sophie sighed as she moved back to sit next to Claudia, who had visibly sagged with relief at the response. "You can't talk about it too much though, or you'll hurt his feelings."
Claudia couldn't help but groan in response. "Look, I told you: it's not a big deal. Can we move on, please?"
Thankfully they both agreed, though just as Daisy started talking about the film again Claudia's phone let out another buzz. They both watched her expectantly but she shook her head, clamping a stubborn hand down over her pocket before either could think of snatching anything out.
The conversation felt all but forgotten as they rolled into town, but at the outskirts bus stop Claudia stood up and went to the door. "Hey, why are you getting off here?" Daisy called after her, and she shrugged as she weaved between the other people sticking their legs out into the aisle.
"I can walk fine from here. See you tomorrow," she tried to smile, but the speed at which she left the bus was probably a big tell that something was up. She was thankful neither of them followed her, and waved them off as the bus pulled away down the road into town. It was still a fair walk from here but she'd rather do that at the moment than sit through any more uncomfortable questions, and she definitely couldn't bear to check her messages from Lloyd. Getting a message only moments after Daisy had her reply had her freaking out, and for now she just couldn't bring herself to see what he said in response.
The moment she was back at the house she went straight up to her room and collapsed on her bed, letting her shoes fall off as her feet hung over the side. This crush was excrutiating-- she didn't want him to know in the least bit, he'd think she was weird and shooting way out of her league, and they'd stop being friends for sure. And that was definitely the last thing she wanted.
It was so weird: she knew she liked Lloyd, but how did she know it was anything beyond platonic? It was definitely more than just being friends, she could see how her friendship with him was different to her friendship with Sam or Simon, but it was so difficult to tell just what it was that was different. The way Sophie and Daisy talked about who they were interested in was similar in some ways, but they always talked about wanting to get physical: she didn't have that feeling, did that mean it wasn't a crush? That would be good, right?
But thinking they would be only friends hurt more than hiding a crush. She definitely wanted something more, the ever-increasing number of hugs told her that easily, but if it wasn't kissing or anything else physical then what was it? It had been nearly two months since their conversation in the park and it kept bouncing around her head. Was it worth trying to go further, or would the fact she felt nothing physical be too much of a barrier? With a groan she buried her face in her pillow.
