I would be more then happy to correct any illogical scenario, grammatical mistakes or any other suggestion.

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Another 6 months have passed.. I am nearly 7 years old.

When i was not able to practice chakra. I was very disappointed but the thought of not working hard never crossed my mind. A life without dream or goal is more scarier to me. There is a reason why i think that.

When i was drug addict in my previous life. Every new day, i made promises to do work normally and start working towards better life. But almost daily i broke my promises. I tried a lot to change myself but nothing worked. I went to psychiatrist. They prescribed medicines. I went to counselors also.

One of the counselor I met was really nice. She helped me a lot. I wanted to do what and how she told me. But in the end, even this didn't work. I broke promise with her once. I lied to my counselor. After that, It just became a habit.

Once you make a mistake, your inner devil tempt you to do it again. After some months, she found out that all this time, I have been lying to her.

When I think about those days, I really do have some fear. If one day, you feel that you have no motivation, desire or goal. You live your life just for the sake of living. Or I would say i lived so that i could indulge myself more strongly in my addiction next day.

Knowing wrong but still doing it. When my loved ones needed my help but I couldn't even help them. When people see you, they just feel surprised at how sorry state you are in. You just watch your life passing helplessly.

So, even though i know that i will not be able to refine chakra but i will not stop trying to gain more power. I subconsciously console myself that "if you don't give up then you will find your way. I believe that rather than waiting for opportunity, we should constantly try."

In my previous life, at some point i lost motivation or desire for doing something great. I stopped trying hard. So, I started to search for what i wanted in my life. And when i found out what i wanted. It felt like it is already very late. My body and mind isn't responding properly even if i know what i want to do in my life.

It's like you want to do exercise, but your will power and mind isn't strong enough and you just kept it pushing back on and on. Or you got a job offer but you aren't able to perform it because you haven't done hard work for a long time. Even if you got the opportunity but you still messed up.

My conclusion is, never wait for opportunity. Strong mindset and healthy body is more important rather than completely giving up work just because you don't know what to do.

So, I still haven't decided to stop working hard. It doesn't matter if I can refine chakra or not.

I am 7 year old now.

Next year, I still have to sit in the same class because i haven't been able to refine chakra.

Teachers also has given up on me. Whether, I am skipping class or not it doesn't matter. But fee is still fully paid by me. Nowadays, I mostly go only when there is combat lesson.

This time my class is a little different. There are no students in my class who don't have ninja heritage. I think because of my previous record in combat, they put my in slightly better class despite me having no chakra.

Here in class, Even if I have larger age then them, I still can't beat children of 6 year old from families. So, my ranking is still around 12th-15th during combat.

From previous meditation and Yoga, I gained a little bit better mental capacity. This time, It was not like intution. I could judge that I really have improved. Just last day, I had combat lesson with uchiha clan kid. Although, I didn't win but his genjutsu didn't really have any effect on me.
This anomaly made me excited. This gave me hope that may be I could gain some other kind of power. I didn't let others know about it.
Also, I increased my meditation hours.

Just last month, I was reading history and topography of ninja world. It reminded me of two different directions  from ninja career to gain power.

Monks and samurai are also present here. Monks also do meditation physical exercise. So, although my path of becoming ninja is blocked but still i could gain considerable strength to protect myself.

Another thing i remember is that in naruto and I made a note  of it.

-Natural energy is everywhere which could also be used to strengthen myself.

-Light is also another element which was used by some priest in Sand country.

-There are people who could absorb negative emotion and control it's power.

-Some other cthulu and curse power is also present.

I gained a lot of insight from ninja school's library. All these inferences, which really helped me not to let me get depressed and constantly work hard.

I also started using weights on my legs, wrist and waist all the time.

Lately, I spent most of the time in hospital apart from training. In all the fantasy setting, I think medical level of Naruto World is very high. They could make clones, heal any type of injuries and cross genetic engineering is also possible.

Although I do sometimes fantasize about transplanting some ninja genes. But after reading medical books, I am able to infer that although it is a fantasy world but to become decent doctor also takes same amount of effort like becoming ninja.

And to gain knowledge to the level of Orochimaru is something nearly impossible. Otherwise many clans should have already implanted genes in this very insecure world where moral values are not that high.

I also started using weights on my legs, wrist and waist all the time.

There is a lady who I regularly help. Her name is Musmune. She is kind enough to let me see the patients. Through her I am learning about different chakra routes.

Lately, I have been trying to find about, how to extract natural energy or to use that. I know it is a very difficult thing. Because even Orichimaru couldn't control the natural energy. He invented curse so that his test subjects could use the natural energy and become stronger during fight.

But I have inference that if i could have strong enough spiritual/mental power then i could sense and control the natural energy.

Now, my aim for coming years is to understand seal and origin of finger prints. I am thinking if I could understand that how exactly both of these things work then i could have breakthrough in my plan to gain power.

Although, I have made the list of all the possible power-system other than ninjutsu but I still haven't given up on refining chakra. And becoming stronger like any other.