The tavern ‘Fairies Kiss’ was bustling full people, and adventurers alike. In that tavern there was one person whose existence barely existed.
He had candle wax like skin and blood red eyes. Right now, Shiro was shocked by a voice he hadn’t heard in a while.
‘This voice…!’, I recognized a voice in the tavern, it was loud and clear to me.
“…Ralph…”, I muttered. Around the entrance to the tavern, the first table to the right. ‘He’ was there, I wanted to stand up and go over there, but something was telling me not to.
‘How… how is he alive?’, the village was burned to the ground all elves were killed, then how is Ralph still alive?
“Here it is sir, please enjoy your meal.”, the waitress from a couple of moments ago said as she placed my dish on the table. It was spaghetti and a cup with water filled in it, the smell of spaghetti was amazing, almost as good as the ones from earth.
I started eating while listening to the familiar voice in the distance.
“Hahaha, so Ralph how did that mission of yours go?”, one of the people who were eating with Ralph whispered. “You want to know, huh? Alright I’ll tell you. It was so easy all I had to do was get rid of most of the fighting force of the village and then I had to bring in the mercenaries and boom! The whole place was annihilated in just a couple of minutes, and that bitch resisted all the way till the end! I had to show her place.”, Ralph told them in a voice that nobody else could hear.
Only if someone concentrated hard enough, they could follow their conversation among all the voices in the tavern.
‘……He..what….’, I thought as I felt something snapping in my mind, as if a deep void had been opened in me.
Many thoughts were swirling in my mind, as if in chaos. I continued eating my meal, however I started eating it faster than before.
“Hey, you made sure nobody escaped alive, did you?”, One of Ralphs friends asked. “Of course, I did, I even made sure that there were light attribute mages to purify their spirits.”, Ralph said with a smirk.
When someone purifies a spirit, their souls return to the cycle of rebirth and are reborn with no memories of who they were, thus their souls never truly disappear.
I felt the mana around me changing, just like that fiery night. ‘Control yourself, if you attack them now, I’ll be purged in an instant!!!’, I continued eating like before.
‘Why did he do that?! Was he the one who planned it all? Or was there somebody else in it as well?!’, I asked myself, however there still wasn’t an answer. The memories of a couple of days ago started appearing in my mind as if on loop. My stomach started to grumble, I was ready to throw up at any time.
“That right. Did you already get your pay?”, his friend asked. “No, the king has to make sure that everything has calmed down. Because of that scream the other day, the whole capital has been concerned about what it could be.”, Ralph shortly explained with an annoyed expression.
‘This person isn’t Ralph, is it? It doesn’t sound like him at all.’, I continued eating my meal, every time I heard his voice my stomach clenched up and I felt as if I could kill everybody here!
The waitress came to my table with a worried expression as she looked at my face clenching up and the air around me changing. “I-is everything alright?”, the waitress asked. “… I’m… fine…”, I muttered trying to muster up a sentence.
I ate my meal faster and faster, every time Ralph and his friends spoke my mind started distorting. ‘I need to leave quickly.’, If I kept myself here any longer, I would go crazy!
<< You have acquired the Skill ‘Fast Eating’ >>
Ralph and his friends continued speaking and eating their food as if there wasn’t a single care in the world. I ate my meal faster and faster until my plate was finally empty. I felt my body getting hotter and hotter, I couldn’t keep it anymore.
I stood up from my table and headed for the closest exit, I heard the waitress call me to pay my meal, but I couldn’t hold in any longer.
I exited the tavern and went to the closest back alley.
“BLEEEERGGHHH”, I vomited my meal out of my stomach, I felt my whole body raging and urging me to attack them, however I held back knowing that if I did go attack them I probably wouldn’t make it out alive.
‘….why….WHY!!!!! Why did he do that?! Was it really him?!’, Ralph had no reason to betray the village, thus I was questioning the reason as to why. Did the king have a really good proposal?
These people disgusted me to the very core of my being. Those elves didn’t do anything wrong so why did they deserve to die?!
‘Mark my words Ralph! I WILL KILL YOU!!!’
My magic was starting to run rampant, black flames started to appear all around me and then started surrounding me in a black flaming spiral.
<< The Levels of ‘Enhanced Mana’, ‘Dark Aura’, ‘Dark Attribute Magic’ and ‘Wrath’ have increased. >>
<< You have acquired the Skill ‘Intuition’. >>
<< The Skill ‘Mental Corruption’ has evolved into the Unique Skill ‘Distorted Mind’. >>
The next day there were news about a building catching fire. The witnesses said that it was a demon who did it because of the black flames. Some said it was a signal. However, no one was able to figure out the truth.
I was able to get away because I deactivated ‘Materialization’ and surpressed my 'Dark Aura' to the point where my existence completely faded.
I must learn more about my magic, I was lucky that there were no casualties at my outbreak of magic.
I was currently on the path to the tavern of yesterday since I didn’t pay for my meal.
“I’m so sorry for not paying I didn’t mean to.”, I apologized to the waitress who was in front of me. “It no problem. Since you came back to pay that is. It’s one silver coin please.”
I gave the waitress one silver coin and apologized again, and then continued my way to the gates of the town. I was planning on leaving town so that I can practice magic, since Ralph is in Blue Tear it would be dangerous to stay there and my level isn’t high enough to evolve nor change jobs at the guild.
Jobs are something only humans have, I still do not know why I have it. Iris told me that you can change jobs once you’re level one hundred, and once you’re level one hundred you need to go to a job changing room.
I arrived at the gates, I decided to deactivate my physical body and go through the gates. Not every single person can see spirits, it has only been said that elves have most aptitude for it.
I was back on the familiar road I was going with the old man, I hope he’s alright.
This time I was able to find a spirit on the way and asked him if there is a way to the capital. The capital is eight days away at foot, for me that meant that I had eight days to practice magic. Of course, I will be planning on increasing my skills and their levels.
The reason I chose to go to the capital was because the king lived there and so I need to make him suffer as well for what he did. In the conversation between Ralph and his friends I could only figure that the King must’ve been behind this whole operation.
I found a small spot near a tree perfect for practice.
My new attribute magic allows me to make black flames, I still don’t know what exactly I could manipulate. ‘Dark Attribute Magic’, it was an attribute I still couldn’t figure out how to use, however I will learn how to.
I tried making a spell manipulating something ‘dark’. It was hard to think up something, I couldn’t just imagine black flames. I don’t have the fire attribute that means those black flames were made out of something ‘dark’.
‘Where’s google when you need it?’, I complained
I shifted to ‘No-Attribute Magic’ and tried coming up with a new spell, ‘No-Attribute Magic’ is pretty much just mana so I should come up with something, I think.
I spent around twenty minutes trying to figure something out for ‘No-Attribute Magic’, since I don’t know any skillful mages who use no-attribute magic. I came up with three spells.
The first one is ‘Mana Shot’.
Instead of ‘Mana Bullet’, this spell is a condensed form of ‘Mana Bullet’. Unlike ‘Mana Bullet’, this spell can hurt somebody. It can easily pierce metal if your Skill ‘Mana Control’ is high enough
The second one is ‘Telekinesis’.
‘Telekinesis’, just as the name refers, you have to forcefully put mana to levitate an object but the cost is huge and you have to have the Skill ‘Mana Control’ to be able to do lift even the smallest rock.
The last one is ‘Fly’.
As fly suggests it allows me to fly, it’s pretty much telekinesis but used on your body. It would normally be hard, but since I don’t exactly have weight unless I keep myself materialized I can fly freely.
<< You have acquired the Skill ‘Flight’. >>
Not all spells can become a Skill, it depends mostly on your race and job as well. The ‘Fly’ spell can allow me to fly without using much mana, so it became a skill.
Now it was time to make a ‘Dark Attribute Magic’ spell. The question is what can I make?
I thought hard about it, does it mean in dark like shadow or dark like black? Or dark like meaning something evil? However, the answer was easier than what I had thought.
It was all of them.
I was soaring through the sky, it was an incredible feeling, the wind hitting your face as your hair flows around. The plains you can see from above, everything green as far as the eye can see. You can also see some mountains in the distance.
The way to the capital would be on the opposite side of Blue Tear. That means I would have to cross the spirit forest to get to the other side. I chose to go around though, if there were spiritualists in the forest, they might find me in the sky.
I decided to go to the capital by flying, because it was faster and more efficient, it would take me around four days to get there, by the speed I am going.
While I was flying, I found some interesting creatures, different from the ones on earth. The first one I found was a wyvern.
Wyverns are the first evolution towards becoming a dragon, you could see them as flying reptilians. The wyvern I found had black scales and yellow eyes, I decided to take it down, but my ‘Mana Shot’ couldn’t pierce his hard scales and it flew away, whilst ignoring my existence.
One of the other interesting creatures I found, was something like a Phoenix, it was a flying bird with flaming wings. The moment I tried to do something to it, it somehow felt my presence and flew further away.
The sun was starting to set, and I was starting to feel tired. I flew down and landed on the ground. I looked around to see whether there were monsters around and then I activated my ‘Materialization’ skill.
Around me there were trees all around me, but no fog. That meant I wasn’t in the spirit forest, even if I were I would at the very least see a white mist around me.
I looked around the forest and found some type of monster, it was an Orc. It had arms as thick as tree branches. And thick skin that no normal sword could pierce.
“OOOOORGGHH!!!!”, the Orc roared and and picked up his huge club that was hanging from his back.
“Hmm. I was waiting to find a human to experiment this on. I guess this will do.”, I said as I gathered magic and a magic circle appeared below my body. “Now, look into my eyes.”, I said with a cold and emotionless voice.
The orc kept his eyes on me and started swinging his club around. However, his club passed right through me, the orc continued his movement and then suddenly his movements started getting slower and slower until it stopped.
“…ORGH…”, the orc groaned. “In case you haven’t noticed, you’ve fallen right into my trap.”, I remarked as the brain washed orc stopped moving at all.
from the moment the guild request chapter i found it odd.... a request made in the guild to burn a forest, raid a village and slave the people inside.... thats not a guild, its a bandits guild and all its members should be purged and that guild master tortured to death in flames.
Your whole plot and the actions of the mc i could already know even when i didnt read those chapters yet... then when i read it... as expected i was 100% on the spot. No joy in reading something when you know how it will go.
Hopefuly you can improve the plot and add some twists and unex0ected things. If the reader can guess what happens all the time they will stop reading.
At least have mc get the list of all the people who accepted the request and hunt them ALL down, it should be very easy for him to infiltrate the guild as a ghost. Search the record and find the necessary informstion in the night, he can see perfectly. Also Guild master is included in the kill list. In your novel he says that he and the king dosnt get along but he acts like a dog. Ling says jump and he jumps
Also you made it seem that the light magicians erasing other souls after killing people is a common thing... and boasting and being proud of raping and killing for everyone to hear... it should be a daily thing. These kind of things needs to be adressed. For example. Ralph talking about it in a private room and mc following him hidden and listening in and then finding out... but he find out like i go to a restaurant and hear some dude claimijg that he enjoyed raping that girl and killing the ones who resisted and that alm he had to do was separate the guards and kill them all while everyone can hear him loud and clear.
See the problem?
Or In your world the human race is corrupted to the core? Where people commit sins like buying bread?
@TypeFantasyHeart you evaluate so much, maybe you want him/her better since i think the story flow good. I just hope the story dont stop cuz of something like critics, its not easy to be concistent
Honestly more I read of your comment the more I think you're an idiot.
1; the request was only for getting rid of the forest. You're mixing in opinions as well taking a separate group's plans and claiming it was part of the request. The guild master knows about the Elves and believes the King does as well. Just knowing the Elves are there shouldn't put the guild master on the kill list. The official request had no mention of the elves and it was stated most don't even know elves lived there.
2; the relationship between the King and the guild master. I have read both stories where the guild is independent of all countries and ones where it is controlled by them. So far as this chapter we don't know which way it is in this story. The request being the destruction of the forest by itself may not break any laws and rules at least from a King. If a random person requested it I'm sure it would be looked at differently.
3; the conversation of Ralph and his friend/s. It's taking place in a bar/tavern type place. The noise in there was likely enough that most people wouldn't hear it. Second, he never said he raped, nor did he say he killed them. Sure with what the MC knows that is how it will sound and likely what it referred to but it wasn't said directly.
4; the Kings request was sent to the guild for adventurers to complete. Ralph mentioned Mercenary's destroying the Village. Ralph to me sounds like he took everyone hunting leaving it open to Mercenary's then returned and joined them. Usually, Mercs do the dirty work and have less moral objections than the average person. The light magicians were with the mercs, maybe even part of them. While killing then getting rid of the spirit may not be normal practice considering what they were doing it might be their usual m.o at those times. At the very least their usual job would include getting rid of spirits even if not being the person or group the killed them in the first place.
5; the time frame is all unknown. MC lost track of time and with the fog making it worse we have no idea how long he was gone. As of this chapter, we have no details on what happened to the other hunters in that time, did they all return or was it just Iris that made it back. Why was she at her house when it happened? my guess if she returned midway through the attack so she was looking for her family, especially her sisters.
6; we barely know any details about the world. You are making judgements with nothing to back it up. If it was Shield Hero then most people wouldn't care less about anyone that isn't human. If the world is like that one then few people would care. All we know is that there are human supremacist countries. Iris lived in an isolated place so how much she knew and how up to date it was is something to question.
7; the MC. He doesn't why or how he is there. He only knows a little based on what Iris and Leo told him. While it is true that races like Elves are more likely to see spirits, it doesn't mean others can't. It also seemed like if you were too close or in contact then anyone could sense the spirit. High-level adventurers may have better instincts for it as well. Then you have the adventurers he first met had a spiritualist that attacked him. We also know they were carrying an item that hasn't yet been explained its use. If that item is what allowed them to see him, then going into the guild as he is would be suicide as they would likely have that and likely have a spiritualist there as well. There does seem to be some issues with his memory as well from his past life so you can't expect his actions to be perfect plus he was only a student. Having read a few books and played some games doesn't make you an expert if you ended up in his position.
@kouk2002 you make very good points, gotta put more attention while reading
@kouk2002 Ralph said that she tried to resist so he had to put that bit*h in her place... You’re not going to sit here and say Ralph didn’t kill or rape anyone just because he didn’t specifically say he did. That’s idiotic.
Ralph shouldn’t be discussing anything that went down, if the MC can hear it, then there must be others as well. The noise of a bar isn’t secure enough to be talking about something like that. That’s a plot hole in and of itself. Seems like the author just made it convenient enough for the MC to get a clue on what happened by just so happening to be at the right place at the right time. Not to mention that the MC only met Ralph for the first time before the hunt and only briefly spoke with him, so for him to just RECOGNIZE his voice through the loud noise as you said is beyond me.
Ralph could’ve easily lured the hunting party back to the village as the captain of the hunting party and backstabbed whoever was in his group.
I assume the guild master had no reason not to accept the request plus the king likely offered a reward as well; so that’s probably why he did it. Tbh, the story is all over the place at the moment, at least to me.