HeFeng's diary excerpt:

I hurt him. The one I love. The one who, after every P.E. class, would rush back into the classroom despite already being exhausted from the P.E. exercises, just to sneak some money into my desk. I had noticed his 'true plans' early on. After all, why would money randomly appear inside my desk every day–money that "coincidentally" exacted to the same amount needed to buy the breakfast I give to LingFeng, plus some extra.

This person had never changed. Three years ago, I was not the same person I am today. I was a loner. I never bothered to cut my bangs because I never thought of a need for it. I never bothered to dress up, either. I believed that even if I changed how I look, I still wouldn't be able to make friends because I had nothing worth befriending for. I thought myself to be a nobody, and that was exactly what I was.

My only friend was BaJin, but that was because we lived in the same neighbourhood and his mother had always asked me to help tutor him. We had an awkward relationship, and that was mostly because I never looked into his eyes when he talked to me, I never laughed at his jokes, and I never agreed to hang out with him despite countless invitations. I always kept him at an arm's length because I believed that his mother had forced him to be my friend. I thought that I would live my entire life like this–living as if I were dead. But one day, I met someone who changed my life. That person did not do anything miraculous; he only showed me that people can accept me as me, and that was enough for me to live as if life had something to offer.

That day, I was helping my grandma collect cardboard boxes and empty cans and bottles off of the street. In my family, my grandma was the only one left alive; I couldn't work because I was too young and was too busy with schoolwork. My grandma, on the other hand, couldn't work because she was too old. So to scrape by, we had to do all sorts of menial tasks.

I wore an old tattered jacket with stained blue pants. They emitted a stink, a stink that resembled a fruit being left in a humid, hot room for weeks to rot. Every person who passed by stayed far away from my grandma and I with a disgusted or appalled expression on their face. I had grown used to it at that point. All of a sudden, I felt a light tap on my shoulder. I turned around, expecting to meet another condescending expression, but all I saw was a face full of smiles. Genuine smiles.

"Hey, you're in my class!" The person said, laughing. He seemed happy to see me. "I've seen the class president ask you to tutor him before, you're so impressive!"

My heart swelled up. It was the first time I felt pride. I didn't feel proud when BaJin complimented my teaching. Perhaps it was because I assumed it was an empty compliment to encourage me to keep tutoring him. I was so dumbfounded at this new emotion that I didn't realize what the person was doing until my grandmother rushed over and stopped him. He was rolling up his sleeves and was reaching for an empty can lying on the street.

"Great god, let me help you! Maybe some of your holy aura can rub off on me and help me pass the exams!" He faced me after helping my grandma sit down and assuring her that it was no trouble at all for him. He didn't hesitate to grab my hands, which were not only stained with mystery sticky juices but had a similar rotten smell emanating from them, and pulled me away. "Come on, I think I saw a mountain of empty cans over there! We've hit the jackpot!"

After meeting him, I changed. I started to wear what I had always wanted to wear, I played the sport I had always wanted to play, and I improved my relationships with other people. This person had granted me a new life, but instead of repaying him, I had hurt him. I had hurt him. Hurt the one I love.

I need to stay away; stay far far away lest I hurt him again.