Chapter 4.
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Chapter 4.

“You’re not telling me you’ve been having dreams of cheating on me with my deceased sister, are you?”

“Of course not.” Please spare me from a horrible fate like that.

“Well, as for ghosts… I might believe in them a bit. There are times where it feels like my sister is with me after all.”

“Your sister is… with you…”

“Yeah. You weren’t thinking of asking for a threesome with her or something, were you?”

“Absolutely not.”

“Hmmmmm? Is that really the truth?”

“Trust me, it’s the truth. Do you ever feel like you’re not yourself though? Like someone else is controlling your body?”

“Well, now that you bring it up, there are times where I feel like I’m a distanced observer watching my body move on its own. Some of the doctors I’ve seen claim it’s a form of dissociative identity disorder though. It’s not some ghost controlling my body or anything like that… I think.”

“I see.”

“You’re a lot more calm than I expected you to be in this situation. Usually you’re a lot more stiff.”

Well, when you’re paralyzed and in a weakened state, I have a false sense of security. I naturally can’t really say that.

“Hey Adele, when I thought you died the first time in the forest, I was honestly heart broken. When I thought you forgot about me, my mind was a complete mess and I was torn in two. When you fell off the balcony, I was more distraught in my life than I ever had been before. I felt panicked, lost and uncertain of what awaited me in the future. I realized it then. I probably still am in love with you, but at the same time, I’m terrified of you. I can never tell what you’re thinking and it scares me. I don’t know whether I’ll be alive one moment, or find myself dead the next whenever we’re together.”

“Oh? What a surprise. This is the first time you’ve worked up the courage to say something like that to my face. Are you feeling sick? Did you eat something bad?”

Was it really the first time? To be honest, I wasn’t sure. Still, I continued calmly.

“Adele, which Adele are you right now? The one from after the forest or before it? Just which one is the real you?”

“Which one am I? Hmmmm… I’m not too sure. Ever since I woke up in the hospital, something has felt a bit off. To be honest, even when I thought to kill the woman you called Maria just now, something inside me was a bit averted towards doing so. I instinctively ended up holding back slightly at the last minute which was what allowed her to just barely escape with her life intact. If it was the me before, I would have killed her without fail. In that sense, you might say my personalities have blended together and begun to overlap a bit.”

If that was true, that likely explained why I felt more calm in her presence. The killing intent towards me that she displayed in front of Maria was just to make the act we put on to escape more realistic. If there was anything off about it, Maria would have been the first to see through it.

“It’s honestly a relief that you caught onto what I intended back there.”

“Well, only part of it was an act. What exactly did you lip out to her so I couldn’t hear? I know you did something fishy. I really had the thought to kill you then and there.”

“I told her I loved her.”

“You have the guts to say that now? Aren’t you afraid I’ll kill you?”

“Adele, I’m just glad you're safe.”

Her icy expression turned a bit flustered and she turned her head to the side.

“What are you trying to get out of me by saying that out of nowhere? It’s suspicious. You’re not winning any points with me with such a cheap line. ”

“It’s cute when you get flustered.”

“You… I’ll really kill you, you know.”

She trailed off and bashfully mumbled her line quietly under her breath.

“I’ll kill you too.”

Her face turned a shade redder. I finally felt like I started to understand her interpretation of those words. The words in her ears had the same effect of, ‘I love you’ to a nonpsychotic woman.

It only took me years before I’d deciphered what this one line meant. Yeah, I reconfirmed something deep within my heart, I definitely didn’t want to ever understand their twisted language of love.

“Adele, I want to rip out your intestines and wrap them around me so I feel like I’m always being embraced by you, should death ever try to pull us apart.”

“S-s-shut up. Even if you whisper sweet nothings into my ear, I’m not going to forgive you if you cheat on me again.” She covered her face with her hands.

Was this the equivalent to, ‘I want to be together with you until death do us part’ in her language?

“I want to eat your pancreas.”

“You watched that movie too?”

“What? Ah… yeah.” I kind of just said it in the heat of the moment. I didn’t actually think about it when I said that to be honest.

“Really? What did you think of it?”

“Not enough pancreas eating.”

“Right! Right! Isn’t it really strange? It was called that, but she never ate his pancreas! If it was true love, then she should have eaten it. I had such high hopes when I saw the title too. It was such a let down when there was no pancreas eaten by the end of it. Such blatant click bait.”

Somehow, I was managing a very strange conversation with her. With my accumulated experience with crazy women, this level of talk had suddenly started to come naturally. The strategy I’d developed to cope with talking to her was rather simple, but effective. Say the most outrageous things possible and pray to god it lands in her strike zone.

“Darling, don’t you think we should eat each other’s pancreas one day as proof of our love for one another?”

“I still need it for the time being. Maybe one day.”

“Tch. Stingy.”

Yeah, what did I expect? She’s still scary even if she’d mellowed out a bit compared to the past.

“Darling, pull over here, this is the last transfer we’re making.”

“Here?”

It was the middle of nowhere, beside the ocean.

“Just where are we heading from here?”

“It’s a surprise, of course. That woman won’t be able to track us where we’re going.”

“What do you mean?”

“You’ll see soon enough.”

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