---Lord Klar POV

Luda and Koria stand in complete silence. They even forget to breathe, it seems. The shiny craft before them is literary out of this world, and I can’t help but chuckle.

“Why do you mock us, husband? Neither of us knows what it is,” grouses Luda.

“Follow me, and we will find out if the craft will accept me.” I wink at them. “If I am accepted, so will you be.”

I skirt around the smooth round belly of the Shuttle until I find the loading bay. The last time I exited the Shuttle this way, she killed me. I still hold a certain fondness for that moment. She had to do what she had to do.

I place my hand on a shallow square engraving on the hull. The control panel cover slides back to reveal the security keypad. I sigh and then take a deep breath. Did the Observer Ship have one or two Shuttlecraft? I punch in the only code I know, GPA007. A beep. What about his code? I punch in his code, and the loading bay doors crack open with a whoosh.

Looking over my shoulder, both of my wives crouch, ready to leap into action. With an amusing smile on my lips, I wave to my wives to join me. They are like cats, cautious. Careful step after step, heads shifting from side to side, eyes alert.

“You either trust in me, or I leave you here.”

Their heads bob up, eyes desperate with fear. I haul myself into the loading bay, stand, and face them.

“Husband, we trust you. But…”

I hold out a hand.

They share a glance and then squeeze each other’s hand for a moment before rushing forward. I drop to my haunches, offer a hand to each of them, and hoist them up.

Both have their eyes closed, and I can’t help but crack a sly smile. The metal is cold, and both react as if burnt. To them, the entire craft must seem made of the same metal as their swords.

They open their eyes and immediately cling to me. Koria’s arms wrapping around me and reassuring Luda. With them glued to me, I stab at the inside control panel. This closes the loading bay doors and drops us into darkness. A heartbeat later, I flick the lights on and notice tears running down their cheeks. Maybe I shouldn’t tease them so.

I brace. Flesh on flesh, a rush streams through my shared bond with both. Gnawing, gut-wrenching fear overwhelms their minds and slams into mine. They have no escape. They have no escape. So, what option remains? Me. Instead of whispering words of calm, I concentrate my will, a deliberate act with intent and send reassurance and explanation. My explanation contains images, examples of this craft, and its purpose. It is a thing, like a sword, like a house. It is more complicated, of course, yet while the two examples are a weapon and shelter, this is transport.

I share with them through our bond. There isn’t much to a Shuttlecraft. Engine and fuel storage at the back, loading bay in the belly and a two-seat cockpit out front. Some have passenger seats instead of a cargo area, but that is the only variation. No emotion from them returns to me.

I hit the control panel near the door leading to the cockpit, and with a familiar whoosh, it opens. I need to shuffle sideways into the cockpit as both wives refuse to let go of me. Once inside, I hit the inside control panel to close the door. With forceful, stern words, I coerce Koria to sit in the co-pilot’s chair and buckle her in. She tugs nervously at the webbing, but I am satisfied she can’t escape. Luda, I push away until I sit and secure myself. As soon as I look at her, she leaps into my lap.

“This craft can fly like a bird if I operate it correctly.” Two heads nod nervously in response. Didn’t they understand the transport explanation? “More than that, it can travel so high in the sky that you will be able to look back on your world and see the mountains, and they will look small.”

They exchange glances and take several deep breaths. Despite my teaching, I wonder if the fright of flight and then space travel will kill them. This morning, they woke up to explore a mountain, and now both sit in a device they have never seen before and don’t understand. Would I be any different if I were them?

I could pilot the craft but decided to use the automatic pilot and select the reverse journey. That way, regardless of my wives and any panic, I can restrain them without the Shuttle veering off into the nearby star. For good measure, I lock out the controls as well, in case somehow one of them escapes and dances over them.

As the Shuttle lifts off, Luda pushes back into me using her feet on the piloting control panel. Simultaneously, her head snaps from side to side as the sides of the cave and, shortly after the side of the mountain flash by.

Koria whispers from the co-pilot’s chair, “This is like when my spirit floats free after my body dies. I can look down on the world.”

Her words of wonder do more to calm Luda than I could have hoped, much to my relief. Why is the supernatural, like a spirit floating free, more acceptable to her primitive mind than flying in a Shuttle?

The sinking of the sun behind the mountain range casts a shadow into the valley. The Shuttle flies below the mountain peak to hide within. We head towards the heights of the valley. I observe a settlement of sorts beneath us, walls made of stone or stone-like, with several large buildings within. Cultivated fields lie beyond the thick walls. Then the Shuttle veers upwards, and we are all thrown back in our seats. I note that she used cloud cover to conceal her arrival as much as possible. We do much the same, yet I doubt we have left our valley, let alone this planet, unobserved. A shuttle is still a bright, shiny object if enough sunlight hits.

As we enter cloud cover, I glimpse the land beyond the valley’s end. The beyond turns out to be amazing. A vast glittering ocean spreads out all the way to the horizon. Underneath the shuttle is a sheer mountain drop, certain suicide to climb up or down. Both of my wives are silent. Luda’s fingers dig into my thighs. We break free of the planet, and looking back confirms this world is mostly ocean. There is a single continent, made up of probably three once separate land masses slamming together pre-dawn before the creation of intelligent life. The sheer mountainside seems to result from one continent losing the collision and heading downwards while the winner heads upwards. On the other side, it seems both continents were equals, and the edges of both have risen, creating a monster of a mountain range. One ran longer and without an opposing force only offers lower peaks that break the surface of the ocean. These form a string of islands.

Ahead, in the black of space, the sun of this solar system twinkles off the spinning Observation Ship and attached Scout Ship. The Shuttle flies steady, and we are on course towards the Observation Ship. As we close in, I blink to try to confirm an anomaly. I need to wait for another spin of the Observation Ship. Another glimpse, and it is my turn to panic.

Behind both, a spaceship is closing in on an interception course. It is large. Although far away, I could see it. I could damn well see it!

I sit back. I meant this to be a quick visit. Check out her story and determine the orders of those in the Scout Ship for me. What have I landed myself in? I could unlock the controls, manually override and try to use the Observation Ship as a blind to return to the planet. Equally, I could stuff up the entire maneuver and become a target. If I am not mistaken, it is, as she said, a battle-class spaceship. Why is such a ship patrolling this backwater of a solar system at this crucial point in time? I steady my breathing and let things be.

The Shuttle slips into the shuttle bay of the rotating Observation Ship flawlessly. I try to give my wives a pep talk, but I doubt my level of success. Given their blank facial looks, probably more of a failure. Yet, when I offer to leave them in the Shuttle, they both curse and punch me.

The shuttle bay is empty. As a bonus, the soft soles of our primitive leather boots are nearly silent on the Observation Ship’s decking. There is a shudder, and we grab each other to remain on our feet. The larger ship docking with the Observation Ship can be the only reason. It was an unexpected miscalculation, given the automatics of such a process.

I lift Luda until we are face to face. “You will scout ahead.” A predatory smile graces her lips. “You will scout ahead. Stay silent. Listen. At the first hint of someone else return.” She glances at her sister while checking the hilts of her daggers. “Good. You know you are the best one for this.” She nods as I lower her. Without the dark of space to haunt her and a firm surface underfoot, she is somewhat herself. Her mind has discarded the truth. She believes she is in a shiny cave, perhaps. Then there is the act of hunting, which holds a particular joy for her, overriding everything else.

I grab her hand and use it to smack the control panel. The shuttle bay door slides open. With one last look, she enters the Observation Ship proper. The shuttle bay door closes behind her, but fortunately, there is a top window in the door, and I appreciate her swaying arse as she slinks off down the corridor. Not long after, she listens, turns left, and is out of sight.

Koria stands beside me as we wait and peer through the pane of clear see-thru steel in the door.

After a long while, Luda returns. Once through the door, she rests her back against the adjacent wall and breathes a sign of relief.

“There is too much light, husband, in this metal cave, but I found some creatures. They gibbered Master. Two parties, one had three, and the other had two. White-pink skins both, no tusks. After much gibbering, the group of two left. The three waited, and then I left.”

Koria and I join Luda for the return journey. I only needed to get within earshot. The further we crept along, the more familiar everything became. The Genetic Lab, then the Medical Ward. We would wait in the centre of the Observation Ship, a mix of command and security functions and attached crew facilities. Branching from this central area, two corridors led further away, the line markings containing the words air lock every so often. The Observation Ship was a mirror, two identical halves joined. An airlock would accommodate one spacecraft on either side of the Observation Ship. Given what I had seen in our approach, one probably led to the Scout Ship. The other, most likely the Battlecruiser, given crews from both met here. The corridor we waited in would return us to the Medical Ward.

“Captain Theophilus Meurius Ashman, I presume?” says one in a deadpan voice. “I am Captain Julius Hyrcanus Tapper. This is my Science Officer, Cassia Hippolyta Sutler, and Security Officer, Titus Atreus Prew. We are patrolling this sector, searching for anomalies.” Was he introducing people or furniture?

There is a long pause, and then someone clears their throat. “There are no other spaceships in this sector but us, especially one as large as you command, so tell me your actual mission.” The Captain of the Scout?

“Unfortunately, I can’t reveal my mission to you. Otherwise, I would have to kill you.” A threat? Difficult to tell, given the lack of emotion. Was that Captain Julius?

Nervous chuckling follows.

“Are you checking up on my mission?” shouts the nasal voice again, ending any laughter. “Retreat,” screams the same voice.

The ringing vibration of a beam weapon sounds out. A yelp of pain follows. Clanging boots add to the noise chaos. Another discharge, probably a miss.

“Secure the airlock. She sends reinforcements. We will overwhelm them.”

“I obey.”

“Does she want them to clear this ship before capturing the humans?” asks a bland, husky, feminine voice.

“No. The Scout Ship only has four. We have seen three, two of which worked on this ship. She concludes that the crew probably abandoned the Observation Ship before their arrival.”

The stomping of many boots grows louder until a brief silence and a coming-to-attention stomp.

“We reports for duties, commander,” says one, using a snake-like speech.

“Lead your troop through the airlock. You will need to force it if our Security Officer hasn’t overridden the lock, I suspect, like usual.”

“Yesss. Kills or captures?”

“Capture this time. Their mission interests her.”

More stomping of boots, which fade.

“Could we have asked,” says the female again.

“No. While our ship’s transponder is off, on our uniforms, the ship’s name, Lionheart, is there, and I suspect the Captain somehow remembered.”

“But so long ago…”

The flat of Koria’s sword on the back of the head of the female and mine on the back of his head is a perfect example of timing only our bonding could deliver.

Ignoring our blows, our supposed victims turn around while reaching for their hand-held energy weapons. Koria and I use our free hand to clamp their hand on their weapon holster. We both raise the hilt of our swords to strike them in the face but synchronised like us, they lean forward, teeth aiming for our necks. We shift enough and feel their teeth sink into our shoulders.

“Master and Koria, green oozes from their ears trying to find yours!”

I order my few nanorobots in the blood the Captain swallowed to find and destroy the green. Then I push the Captain away. I know Koria does the same and ensures the female collides with the Captain, causing both to tumble to the floor. My blood shortly after stops flowing from my shoulder.

We take this window of respite and sprint back down the corridor, passing through the medical ward to enter the genetic lab. My nanorobots tickle as they repair the wound. Footfalls chasing us slow, to silence.

“Keep a distance behind, but keep me in sight.” I ignore their protests and shuffle along a corridor wall towards our pursuers.

Sitting upright on the floor, they are both looking around in wonder.

“Captain Julius,” I say.

His eyes focus on mine and then go wide. Yes. Human seeing his first Hobgoblin.

“You are free? You can think for yourself?” I throw his confused mind questions…

He nods. His Science Officer scoots over to him, but neither tries to stand. They are probably trying to catch up, make sense of whatever or however they lost control of themselves.

“Hobgoblin.” I point to myself. “I am from the planet below.” I sweep a hand towards Koria and Luda. “Koria, female hobgoblin, and Luda, female goblin from the planet.”

The Science officer leans forward slightly. “How do you know our language?”

I sigh. “Long story, which I doubt we have time for. Will she know?”

Both nod their heads.

“How did you free us?” asks the Science Officer. Cassia?

“Magic. From the Planet below.”

Cassia and Julius exchange a glance.

“Magic, you say,” croaks the Captain. “Well. Regardless, you freed us. What year is this?”

I shrug. “I am from the planet below…”

“Captain! Oh Captain…” The owner of the singsong voice is confident enough to call out loudly. What does he know that we don’t?

“Titus and probably several Lizardmen,” hisses the Captain.

“How brave do you feel?” I ask.

Their stupefied looks don’t instil any confidence, but I don’t see any other way.

“The Magic is in my blood. I will drain a portion into several test tubes. You will need to get close enough to crush them against his ear, nose, or mouth. My blood will do the rest.”

They smile, and the Captain answers my unspoken question. “He will try to do the same. She will try to reinfect us.”

---

Twelve lizardmen lay about the corridor, their large snouts full of razor-sharp teeth an obvious concern, yet they simply stare at the walls for now. They are awake for the first time in a long time, it would seem. The three crew of the Lionheart chat amongst themselves. The body of Captain Theo, a black scorch mark on his uniform, surrounds the cauterised hole through his chest, side to side, not front to back. An unusual shot, fatal, nonetheless. I note that the other male props himself up against a wall, his eyes never straying from us green-skinned folk. Given his occasional ginger repositioning, I suspect body blows. There were no bleeding wounds or defensive bruises on his arms.

One female hovers over another, who is sporting a bloodied bandage around her head.

“How is she?” I ask.

Without looking up, she says, “I have done what I can.” The back of her hand rests on her patient’s cheek. “When she tried to run, they kicked her legs, and she fell heavily down a flight of stairs, her head smashing into the floor at the bottom.” She glances up at me and instantly shies away, dropping the bloodied head she once held. She recovers, muttering apologies at the head and begins her nursing again.

“Dying?”

A nod.

I scoop her up and, using a princess carry, rush her to a familiar lab. I remember the two slabs well, immediately placing her on one. From the nearby incubator, I hope I retrieve something. I am in luck. A female hobgoblin flesh bag is ready, and I place it on the other slab.

“Well?” she asks. No other in the corridor we left had the energy to protest. Koria and Luda simply followed their husband into the lab.

I stare at the controls. There is a sequence, stages, and whatnot, but nothing comes to mind as the first step. I grab the edge of a console. “Just work, dammit!”

Several sweat-popping moments of nothing pass… There must be a switch somewhere. What am I missing? I wipe my brow.

“What did you do?” she yells.

I swivel about, and both slabs glow with an unknown energy. She tries to reach for her dying crewmate, and I hold her back. “It is her only chance.”

“But she will be one of you and no offence, ugly. How will she return to us?”

“No offence taken,” I reply. “She will get to decide, certain death, which we can always deliver to her again after the transfer if she wants, or a chance of living.”

“Living? Where? Down on your planet?”

I nod.

“You must come,” shouts Captain Julius as he skids to a stop at the entrance to the lab.

“Why?”

“The lizardmen are going back into the battlecruiser,” he gasps.

“And that is bad because?”

“She hasn’t separated the battlecruiser from the observation ship for good reason. She must have more under her control, lizardmen, the rest of my crew, even other species.”

“They will meet in battle. I suspect the lizardmen prefer a glorious death…” My words fade as he closes the distance between us and tries to shake my shoulders.

“No. The lizardmen don’t want death in a glorious battle. They are heading to their section of the ship, where their incubating eggs and nursing females are. They hope to free them all. She won’t let them succeed. I am certain.”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Use your magic, of course!” The pleading in his voice borders on hysteria. “I gave them the remaining three unbroken vials of your blood, but they will need more if they are to have any chance.”

Between Koria, Luda and myself, we manufacture more than enough vials, I believe, and he runs off with them.

“You stay here instead of going to help?”

I lean against a wall and stare hard at Diasha, the Engineer and Navigation Officer of the Scout Ship.

“Diasha is an odd name, isn’t it?”

“No, what? You don’t know anything…” Her face blushes as she paces away from me towards the back of the lab. Koria and Luda stroll towards her, not understanding, yet certain I would not want her to run off.

“Your name is no proper first or second. What is your last name?”

“None of your business.” She eyes Koria and Luda. “Call them off and let me go, or I will scream. Ed will come running, and you will be in trouble.”

“They don’t know, do they? They think you are a no-name lowlife who got lucky to attend Space Academy. You did well to pass for one of your kind.”

“How… How did you know?” she simpers.

“I didn’t until now, not for certain.” A face of pure hatred glares at me. I cackle. “You must be way down in the pecking order…” I am fishing…

“A respectable twenty-third in line, I will have you know. Space was and still is my dream.” She straightens herself, shoulders back, and looks down her nose. The royal prerogative is on full display.

Royalty isn’t a ruling class anymore on Earth, more like a snobbish club, more protective than ever of their bloodlines and, hence, breeding. They cooperate in business and government to secure their wealth. While they don’t have subjects anymore, they have employees, some of whom have been such over many generations. Twenty-third is respectable, and therefore, why did they let her follow her dream?

She continues, “They thought I would fail, but I showed them. And I will escape Scout Ship assignments. I will prove myself.” Her speech ends with a royal pout.

The incognito royal, Diasha Talop, false name, of course, then spills her guts. I am uncertain if this is because of a need to show her superiority or prove she knows secrets. Or to prove the Captain and others trusted her and thereby regain a superiority of some sort. Some of the details, like the dusting of hobgoblins, were meaningless to her, not so much for me.

“Shut up, you stupid bitch,” shouts a voice from the doorway. I glance that way.

“Ed, he is from the planet below. Who is he going to tell?” Tears roll down her cheeks. Does his opinion matter to her?

Ed shakes his head. “You are stupid, aren’t you? You truly earned your last place in the Academy, didn’t you? Think!” He throws me a stare. “Green and ugly, he understands our language. How do you make sense of that?”

Diasha leans back against a wall in the lab and slides down until I reckon her bottom hits the floor while hoping to fall further. I hear her loud sobbing from behind a slab. For some reason, the vulnerable female situation draws me in, and as I consider comforting her, Ed’s judgemental, grating voice demands my attention.

“Agent, aren’t you? The letter A in GPA is for an Agent in your case, not an Agency.”

I try returning a confusing look. He shakes a finger at me and strolls into the lab proper.

“Nice try, but I have read the logs.” He raises an eyebrow, waiting for what I don’t know. My praise? He grunts. “Well, we all can’t be as brilliant as me.” He sidles further into the lab, and finally, I realise his destination. “Logs. Read only. The lowest of the low information. Secured, of course, on a file level, but still readable from a console, even when every other command-and-control circuit on this ship seems, well, hostile. Difficult to explain, but there was a determination to defeat my admin enquires.” He smirks while his hand reaches out and rests on the correct button. “Those logs revealed much about you GPA007. That is your true designation, not the suckered original GPA assigned to this ship. With these logs, I am certain I can win my freedom from any undesirable fate that may wait for me.” He flashes me a broad smile. Victory is his!

The needle penetrates his forearm, pumping nanorobots into his bloodstream. His smile turns downward. He should sweat, but of course, the nanorobots are greedy. He croaks out a whimper.

“The GPA body is not an ordinary, imperfect human one. It is a flesh bag especially grown to cope with the infusion of nanorobots. The GPA, the Agency, wouldn’t want simple humans to benefit from the technology. Otherwise, humanity would be overrun with people superior to others, superior to them and once out, that genie could never be returned. So, you are experiencing rapid dehydration as the nanorobots try to condition your imperfect flesh. So much work to do! They are of a single purpose when injected. Purification and then improvement.” I flick my head towards the female hobgoblin on the slab. “Her injection is slow and steady, not requiring much in the way of purification or improvement. Her genetically changed body rests in a pool of water on the slab, which you can’t see because it absorbs the water at the rate the slab supplies it. Perfect unit exchange.”

His body collapses. His outstretched arm breaks above the elbow, unable to arrest his fall. I catch his head before it hits the floor. At my touch, his nanorobots flee to an alternative source of fluid. My body. My nanorobots, though, convert each invader on arrival, and while I gain them, there is another who gains as well. After all of Ed’s briefly gained nanorobots have fled from him, I release his head and allow it to hit the floor. The cracking of bone is loud, with multiple snaps, his flesh holding the fragments together, sack-like. By peeking under the slabs, I can see her. She stares back, her mouth open. I curl my finger in her direction. She shakes her head, trying to deny me. I curl my finger at her once again. Koria and Luda reposition themselves. The human male is no longer a threat. They follow my interest in the human female.

She looks at them and then slumps. On her bottom, she slides towards me.

When close enough, I slit my wrist and offer her some blood to drink. Black, thickening and nothing she would believe was tasty. After several gulps, my wound heals, and she can drink in no more. Her sucking lips are around my wrist, trying to draw more.

“More?” she gasps. The black in her eyes pushes away any colouration. Her hand reaches for mine, a brief hesitation, and she brings my hand to one of her breasts. She lurches forward to plant a kiss, and then I feel pain as she bites my bottom lip and draws in more of my blood. Her saliva keeps the flow dribbling until her eyes roll back and only the whites are showing. She shudders and splays out on the lab floor.

“Is she dead, husband?” asks Koria.

“No, not yet. Her body is trying to adapt. Fortunately, my nanorobots are smarter than others.” I flick my head toward the pile of dust. “Especially those newly manufactured.”

A commotion at the doorway draws my attention.

Captain Julius, with red, green, and black blood splatters on his uniform, speaks quicker than I do. “What is going on here?”

I clear my throat. “The pile of dust is Ed. He tried to inject himself with nanorobots. A human body can’t, by design, if I remember rightly. The one beside me became distraught by his demise and fainted. The one on the slab is being transferred to a female hobgoblin body instead of dying a slow death. Anything else you need to know?”

Cassia, I believe her name is, shoulders past her captain and crouches down, resting on her folding leg beside Diasha, checking her vitals.

“Cassia, get away from the abomination,” says a male member of the Captain’s crew. I scoff at him.

“How went the battle, Captain?”

“Your blood converted many, allowed the lizardmen to rescue their eggs and convert several females. We didn’t win the battlecruiser. She detached the airlock. The lizardmen are slaying any of hers still on this ship, and I assume any converted are fighting until dead on her ship.”

“What are your plans? You have your senses back, your will?” I hope he remembers how and, more importantly, who granted him his freedom.

“Yes. But we have a mess here, don’t we?”

I raise an eyebrow and flash him a warm smile. “Not so much. The Scout Captain and another are dead. Any secrets they knew died with them. You have the body of a third crew member.” I wave at the corpse on the slab. “The fourth will also need to be a corpse, but I will need some time for that miracle because I need to transfer her like I have the other one.”

He swallows but accepts because corpses are certain proof. “Yes… How do you explain our, erm… release?”

I scratch my chin. “You awoke from a terrible dream. Captain Theo quickly explained that he remembered your ship being one that had disappeared years ago. His best friend served on it, so he knew something wasn’t right. His entire crew jumped your away party and barricaded the airlock. The brilliant Science Officer of his utilised the Observation Ship Lab to free your minds by killing the slime somehow. He produced a venom that could do the same for others. Then, all seven of you tried to take back your ship. Alas, failure, but you can at least report a mind-controlling intelligent slime as the unknown enemy humanity has been trying to identify for tens of years. You are a hero. Your two surviving crew are heroes.”

“No! That isn’t the truth, and we must examine his blood so we can fight this slime. We can’t simply walk away. Captain?”

“You are right, of course, Titus. The truth will always win out. What do you say about that, my green-skinned friend?”

Koria strikes like lightning, and Titus smiles red under his chin. He grabs his throat, and air bubbles of red pop from between his lips as he gargles for breath while dropping to his knees. With a wet thud, he lands face down on the floor of the Lab.

“Captain?” squeaks Cassia. “I won’t say a word. You can trust me. I have my life back now, and being a hero sounds perfect. Flush the truth. Captain?”

The Captain and I exchange looks. My arm snakes around her neck, and I ask, “Can you trust her? Or, more importantly, can you pilot the Scout Ship back to Earth by yourself?”

“The sole survivor appeals to me. I need her body, but perhaps you can transfer her to a female one of your kind, like the one on the slab? I can wait, of course.”

The successful transfer of the dying one was a surprise to me, but Tinuna did some boasting when we talked, so perhaps her magic domination of the command and control functions on the Observation Ship broke some barriers.

“Certainly. Perhaps you should return to the Scout and prepare. I assume Earth would have been asking the excellent Captain Theo for reports.”

“InterSystems communications takes weeks, months sometimes, but yes, I will still need to make everything ready.” He turns to leave the lab and then pauses. “The lizardmen, it seems, have finished. What about them?”

“They can’t all fit in the Scout Ship, so perhaps another reason for you to return and make it secure.”

He nods and hurries off. I assume the lizardmen cross paths with him because several males and slimmer females pile into the Lab seconds later. Given their overall leathery look and mouths of sharp teeth, I struggle to read their body language. No emotional cues, no facial expressions… oh joy.