After the rush of memories had subsided Kai felt tired.  The pain had disappeared but his energy was gone. Clarity seemed to roam free in his mind once again, but he still felt muddled. He failed to grasp everything that had happened, it was just too much for him. 

He recalled that he was in a large hall surrounded by a lot of unknown players and that no one seemed to speak English.  He lamented.  But he realized crying about it would not do much about the situation.  So he gathered himself and prepared to stop thinking like a noob.

What am I missing?

He knew he missed out on some crucial information.  All of the players around him were equipped, yet he was not. 

That's odd, there must be something else to this.  

He took a deep breath and attempted some kind of zenlike moment to calm himself and think logically.  But he failed.  His surroundings were just too weird and it made him anxious.

He gripped his smartphone again and was shocked.  Not physically, but literally.  It finally dawned on him.  The smartphone was the key.  It was something that he recognized, he knew how to use it and relied on it. But how did it get here and would it even be useful?  There was only one way to find out, so he unlocked it and tried to google for answers.

Unfortunately, Kai was greeted by the dinosaur and the "No Internet" message.  He was not that surprised so he started to tap the screen to help the little dinosaur jump over the rocks.  At least doing this felt familiar and it was a little fun.  It felt oddly refreshing to play this game even when he was already in a game.

But was he really in a game?  He started to believe that perhaps he really did get SAOed.  This game was illegal, everything felt too real.  He had to admit TESS was amazing but ever since he left Alpha this world became his new reality.  He could no longer discern it from the real world outside of TESS.  Where was his red pill?  He began to feel frustrated as he searched for answers.  He unintentionally squeezed the smartphone and the virtual assistant interface appeared.

"How can I be of service?"

Kai looked down disappointingly at his smartphone. Without the internet what good could this program do for him? In a snarky tone he responded to it.

"Pray tell what can you do for me?"

"As an automated assistant for a level-2 lifeform, I can provide you with some level of guidance using any and all information accessible from this device."

Kai nearly dropped his smartphone.  That was not the answer he had expected.

"What happened? Why are you smarter?"

"Band 1 equipment is provided with the capabilities to perform fully automated actions on your behalf.  In your case, selecting a primitive communication device as your band 1 equipment has caused it to be upgraded.  However, due to the low level technology used as it's core, many band 1 capabilities have been restricted."

"Wow, how did that happen?"

"During Onboarding you selected the primitive communication device as your band 1 choice.  So the piconite cloud replicated the primitive communications device from your extracted memories.  References for the underlying hardware systems within the device were extrapolated from the mean capabilities of level-2 species."

Primitive communications device?  Come on now.  

He wasn't sure why this game would bother to insult his smartphone.  It was the only smartphone manufactured entirely in the USA, made from a company created to bring back manufacturing capabilities to the country by the previous POTUS.  And it was created from the best minds of US citizens that joined the endeavor, and it was still plenty capable when compared to the leading brands.   Additionally it was subsidized by the government and it was rumored to contain a few unlockable NSA Easter eggs.  It was hard for an engineering student like himself to pass on a safe and hackable smartphone filled with hidden secret agent-like goodies.  This was a chance to be like Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible films, so he bought it.

"Oh, you mean my smartphone.  Got it.  What is Onboarding?  I don't recall selecting anything."

After responding he suddenly remembered the cloud of pain and the moment when he noticed the bands on his arms.  He was still disoriented at that time and an unsatisfactory feeling resurfaced.  He recalled reaching out to grab his smartphone and calling it.

My smartphone.  Oh my god, I said it.

Now he recalled saying it.  He was speechless, then he felt even more regretful when he realized the time to cancel his subscription had likely ended, he had to pay for it now.  And then he recalled something horrifying, his next words.  What did he do?  He was almost afraid to ask.

"What did I cancel?"

"Your band 2 and band 3 selections, as well as installing your universal translator and guidelines for The Game." Replied the voice.

This felt bad, but he wasn't sure how bad it was.

"What are typical band 2 and 3 selections?"

"Things that can help a player survive like buffs, weapons, armor, mutations and equipment are typically selected."

Now he just realized how badly he had screwed himself over.  All he had was a smartphone.

I am a noob!

He felt like a noob who recently bought a game, quickly installed it and then jumped right in to play it, only to die constantly because they didn't bother to read the manual or to do a little gameplay research ahead of time.  A noob who then raged on social media that the game sucked.

“But I was disoriented during that process.” Kai tried to complain.

“Your coherency level is irrelevant since you were able to perform sufficient actions.” 

He knew he was in pain and delirious during the selection process.  But what was done was done.  Life isn't fair, so he had to get over it.  He did not want to bitch about it like a little noob.  He was a player and a player perseveres.  Sometimes players have to learn the hard way, but they still learn.  They learn from failure, make the best of the situation and get better.  If a player wants to be the best, they have to put in the work.  

Player Kai was ready to put in the work.  Even though he only had his smartphone, at least it was smarter than before.  He wanted to stay positive.  He continued to gather information from the assistant and after a while he stopped.  He didn't know exactly how this match worked, but readied himself nonetheless.  He pressed the Start button figuratively.