Chapter 12: Doubts
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Having reached the lake, we decided to spend some time resting under the shade of the trees and enjoy nature. At least that was the idea. Mary wouldn’t let Allison, Anna, and Lily alone with her incessant questions about their new appearance, and Mom still had her phone ready, waiting for the best moment to take a picture. Dad was the only one relaxed enough to lie down on the soft grass and take a nap.

Allen sat next to me at the edge of a small pier, and we admired the view together, far from all the rabble. My brother then leaned back on his hands and broke the silence. “Nice little garden you’ve got here. Pool and all.”

I smirked and kept looking forward as I answered. “Yeah, I can’t complain.”

Silence came back after my reply. For a couple of minutes, his eyes kept shifting between the lake and me. Although his head never stopped facing forward.

“Is everything okay?” I asked, concerned by the unusual silence.

Still refusing to move, he asked, “How are you doing? With your changes, I mean.”

This question again…

My answer had actually changed since Lily asked it. I gave him a reassuring smile and replied, “I had some bad moments, but I’m mostly okay with it now. It’s a bit scary how easy it was to get used to it after a while. I won’t lie, I think the virus itself played a huge part in that. Being able to see the changes as they happened probably helped me a lot, too.”

“Okay with it, you say?” He made another pause before finally looking my way. “So you don’t want to go back to how you used to be. Not at all.”

I didn’t like the way he phrased it, nor his tone. “I don’t think it’s possible to go back even if I wanted to. Do you… do you hate my appearance?”

“What!? No!” Allen shouted and shook his head. I looked around, but no one seemed to be listening to us. I couldn’t see Mom, though I could tell by the crunch of the occasional leaf or twig that she was still too far to hear us.

“I just don’t think you’re being honest with yourself right now. I’m worried for you,” he added.

“Honest?” I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“I’m not sure how to say this...” He scrubbed his face and looked down. “I’ve always admired you, sis. I know I don’t show it, but it’s the truth. You used to be so cheerful and positive; always trying to help someone.” He chuckled. “I still can’t understand why you never turned me down when I asked for something, considering how much I teased you. I guess I took you for granted. This last month without you has been the weirdest. Probably in more ways than one.”

That took me by surprise. We got along most of the time, but this was the first time he ever said something like that. In fact, I couldn’t remember the last time he used such a serious tone with me.

“When I got home that day and found out Mom and Dad left you somewhere in the woods, I panicked. They told me you were sick, and that you wouldn’t be the same when you came back. The strangest part was that they were barely concerned about it. Can you imagine Mom acting so indifferent?” Not giving me time to answer, he continued, “Even worse was that whatever they had seemed to spread to me shortly after. Was it magic? The government? Did someone mess with our heads?”

Should I tell him it was Jack’s doing?

How would he react?

“No matter. Honestly, I’d rather not know the answer. I’m just glad that, whatever that was, disappeared the moment Jack told us your transformation was almost over. We were truly excited to see you again. Then we came here, and all I saw was...”

I immediately winced and shrunk to myself, trying to hide my demonic features as best I could. Seeing this, he slammed his hand hard on the wooden floor. His voice rose. “That! That’s what I’m talking about! All I see now is a kid who is too afraid of whether we, her own family, will accept her appearance or not!”

My eyes opened wide. That wasn’t what I was expecting at all.

He sighed and lowered his tone. “How can you say that you’ve already accepted everything when you react like that? You were once kind, cheerful, proud, and responsible. Now you’re too insecure and make a big deal out of everything.”

“W-what are-”

“Listen,” he said, cutting my stammering. “I’m not asking you to pretend nothing happened. I know you went through a lot in the past few weeks, and I can’t even begin to imagine how hard it must be for you to deal with all of these changes, but could you at least try not to make Mom and Dad upset every chance you get?”

Angered from his accusation, I yelled at him, “It’s not my fault! You saw how Mom treated me!”

His face remained calm save for how hard he clenched his jaw. “Yes, I agree. She was wrong to do that, which is why I intervened, but you overreacted too, especially after the accident. I think we both know you only lost your temper because you hate what you are now, and she reminded you of it.”

“No! You’re wrong!” I yelled at him, quickly followed by a growl. His eyes widened, and so did mine. My hands covered my mouth immediately.

Not giving me time to explain, my brother shook his head and continued, “If that’s not it, are we the problem then? I don’t know what makes you think that way, but we don’t care about how you look! We love you, and we’ll continue to do so because we’re your family!”

“Do you… do you mean it?”

“Of course I do! I mean, sure, it will take a while for me to get used to it, but that’s it. If anything, it’s your behaviour I find annoying. You say you’re fine with the changes, but you keep getting angry over every single thing. Do you really think we can see you as an adult when you don’t behave like one? Don’t try to deny it either, because you went far from it when you threw a tantrum and locked yourself in your room.”

“I needed time alone! Was that too much to ask for?” I glared at him and muttered, “You didn’t set the best example back then either.”

“Okay, sure. Let’s pretend that Dad and I weren’t joking back then. At least I didn’t growl at Mom or make her cry.”

I was not comfortable with him mentioning my growl. I raised my volume in exasperation. “Okay! I get it!” I just wanted him to stop. I tried stifling another growl, unsuccessfully.

Allen noticed this and looked straight into my eyes. To my surprise, he didn’t flinch or look away. My family seemed to be immune to my stare, just like Allison was. “You can’t control it, can you?”

I could only shake my head at his correct guess as I looked away from him. After a brief pause, I explained it. “They come out when I’m angry or annoyed. Anna says it’s natural for us. I think they’re getting more frequent, as well.”

“I see… I guess we’ll have to get used to that, too.” He took a deep breath and continued. “That aside, I know it sounds weird, but I simply can’t accept that you and my older sister are the same person. Tell me, what happened to the real Nora?”

His last question brought back memories from days ago. Tears fell at the thought of Allen distancing himself from me. “Please, don’t say that. I’m still your sister! I swear!”

He rolled his eyes and placed a hand on my shoulder. “Yes, Nora. You are my sister. Nothing will change that. You’re simply not the one I remember. All I can see in you now is this little girl who sometimes resembles her. I’m sorry.”

I looked down and nodded slowly. I couldn’t disagree with him. I, myself, noticed the gradual changes in my personality. If you added my appearance to the formula, I really was a different person.

Maybe he’s right, maybe I haven’t accepted the new me.

At least he still sees me as his sister.

“Yeah, I’ll just leave you to think about it.”

Allen was about to get up when I softly tugged at his sleeve. “I understand.” After wiping my tears away, I showed him a sheepish smile and gave him my answer. “I... I can change. I promise I’ll do my best to behave and to accept myself as such. This time for real! Hell, I’ll even be the little sister like you want me to be so much!”

He blinked at me, his mouth opened wide and his brow furrowed. Mere seconds later, he was laughing loudly. “I think you got your priorities wrong, sis. I mean, it’s great that you’re so open to the idea, but all I wanted right now was for you to stop acting like a brat. The little sister thing had nothing to do with that.”

I don’t get you anymore!

Still confused by his words, I tried to take it back. “Then-”

Allen raised a finger and pressed it on my lips to silence me. “Listen, I’m not trying to be annoying here. It certainly wasn’t what I was currently aiming for, but you have to admit that it fits better that way. I mean, you do look half my age.” He then showed me his usual smug smile. “Besides, I always wanted a younger sibling.”

I rolled my eyes, although I was glad his mood improved. So much, in fact, that I threw myself at my brother and hugged him tightly without a warning. It took him some time to react, but Allen finally relaxed and returned the hug. We stayed like that for a long time, and not even the snap coming from Mom’s phone was enough to interrupt us. Allen probably didn’t even notice because of how quiet it was. He would eventually find out when she printed and hung it somewhere in the house. Most likely once all the secrecy was over.

Time passed, and the time to continue our tour approached, so we went back to the group. I remained close to Allen as we walked to the training area. I wasn’t sure if the others heard, but they seemed to give us some space.

---<>----------<>----------<>---

Mary’s eyes sparkled at the sight of our destination, and she sprinted ahead of us. The place looked a lot better than when I left. They had given it a nice fantasy feel to it in just a couple of days. The shooting range was probably the most interesting part. Since it needed to stay hidden within the forest, there was a lot of greenery instead of the typical open areas you would imagine. Here, trees acted like fences for the lanes, with one of the dummies and a dense foam wall standing at the end of each.

My friend smiled from ear to ear the moment she saw the bows inside the storage shack. She then grabbed one, along with a couple of arrows and an archery guard. Once she was ready, she ran back to one of the shooting lanes to test them. She had barely gotten in position when she took aim and fired the arrow. The projectile fell a few metres before the target, but it wasn’t a bad attempt compared to how Anna started.

Mary shrugged it off and walked towards Anna. She offered her the equipment with an eager smile. “Care to show me how a real elf does it?”

Anna shot me a nervous look, and I nodded at her. She had nothing to lose. Mary was merely getting carried away by the stereotypes. I’d make sure she understood the difference between fantasy and reality.

I kinda did the same when she started, didn’t I?

No! Mine was just a suggestion, nothing more.

As I continued my internal debate, Anna hesitantly walked to the line. Mary was staring at her with such intensity that I felt sorry for her. She took a deep breath, nocked the arrow, and pulled the string. Same as Mary, she barely aimed before releasing the arrow. I heard the projectile whistling as it flew, and my eyes widened when it landed right in the centre of the target.

Was it luck?

The next moment, Mary was hugging the astonished elf. She kept shaking Anna and screaming in excitement. Her poor eleven ears were likely to start bleeding if I didn’t do something about it, so I walked over to them and congratulated Anna as I tried pulling the screeching leech from her. Unfortunately, the task was impossible because of my size. My grip was also quite weak as I didn’t want to hurt Mary with my claws.

Somewhat recovered from her previous state, Mary asked for a magic demonstration next. Hearing this, Lily happily separated herself from the audience and offered to do it instead. Anna refrained from hurting herself this time and went near the trees to pluck a small plant from the ground instead. She tore a few leaves and presented it to Lily.

Lily rubbed her hands eagerly and reached for the plant. The glow came, and with it, the plant slowly regenerated. Not only that, it also started growing a bit. My family and Mary were speechless. Magic was truly amazing.

The tour shortly finished after the demonstration, and my father decided that they would go back once we had something to eat. Mary and Mom were disappointed, but agreed to it.

---<>----------<>----------<>---

Having finished our lunch, we went to the front of the building to send them off. Allen was the first to hug me. He ruffled my hair and smiled gently. “Take care, little sis.”

I smiled back and winked. “You too, big brother.”

My parents and Mary seemed confused when I didn’t react poorly to his ‘teasing’. Mary snapped out of it and came to me next. Her hug was a bit too tight, and she even lifted me from the ground as she did. I was glad she avoided my wings. “Sorry, I couldn’t get my items back from you this time,” I told her, once she put me back down.

“It’s fine,’ she replied. “I can just create another character and have it hold on to them for as long as you need.”

I chuckled and nodded. “Sounds good!”

Finally, both of my parents followed suit. Mom also asked me to at least message her once every day as she held back her tears and got in the car. She could no longer resist and cried openly the moment it began to move. It was always tough for her to say goodbye. Dad once told me that, on my very first day of school, she was the one who cried when one of the teachers led me in. Me? I simply wished her a good day at work, probably ignorant of what was actually happening.

I kept waving at them until they disappeared into the forest. Anna then placed a hand on my shoulder. “I have to get back to my duties. I’ll send Lily to find you once our new resident arrives.”

Anna and Lily were already heading back to the building when I ran and grabbed Anna’s sleeve.

“Do you need any help?” I asked.

Anna gently pulled her arm free as she replied, “Don’t worry about it. Now is your chance to use the playground!”

I froze.

Was it that evident?

No matter. I took the chance to do as Anna suggested with Allison silently following. If it weren’t for her size, I would’ve forgotten she was even there. She had been unusually quiet the entire time my parents were around.

Did Mom offend her somehow?

As we got to our destination, I sat on the swing and asked her to push me. I wanted to try all the things I couldn’t before, but I needed to talk with her first.

“Hey, Allison.”

“What is it, little one?”

“I’m sorry if my mother was annoying to you earlier. She means well.”

She chuckled. “Don’t worry about it. She simply had some concerns regarding my size.”

I knew it was something like that…

There was a moment of silence before she continued. “Speaking of families, I finally got in contact with mine yesterday.”

Oh, right.

Allison had been trying to reach them for days, but the storm had made it extremely difficult to do so.

“There are no plans for them to come anytime soon, but at least they know I’m alive and well. I haven’t told them about my new appearance, though. I think it will be a fun surprise.”

“Aren’t you scared of their reaction?”

“Not really. I’m sure it will be fine. I was not precisely normal to begin with. They won’t mind a few extra centimetres.”

I honestly don’t know how you can be so carefree.

I kept playing around whilst we waited for Sylvia to arrive, although I couldn’t understand how Allison didn’t grow bored from just watching me. She could at least meditate to improve her control over the flow of mana. As I was the one getting bored with playing alone, Lily arrived to let me know they had already taken Sylvia to her room. It was at that moment that Allison finally went to the training grounds to meditate. The fairy followed her to keep her company.

I ran back to the building and up the stairs. As I went through the corridor, I heard Dr. Blake’s voice coming from inside Sylvia’s room, followed by wailing.

The door opened before me, and I was met with Anna’s smiling face. “Here she is! Please come in, Nora.”

When I stepped in, I saw an olive-skinned woman sitting in a wheelchair, one I assumed was meant to prevent her pain from rising and cause stress to her baby. Her wine coloured hair was very short, and her hazel eyes were bloodshot from all the crying, which only intensified the moment she saw me.

I looked at Anna and Dr. Blake, expecting them to do something about it, but they only pointed at an empty stool next to her. I doubted it was a good idea. My presence clearly made her uncomfortable. Walking cautiously, I sat next to her. The moment I did, both of them stepped out of the room to leave me alone with her. I could only look at the floor as she continued weeping.

What am I supposed to do here?

We stayed like that for nearly twenty minutes before her crying turned into sobbing. I was growing desperate, not knowing what to do for her. The first thing that came to my mind was rubbing her back to comfort her, which made her flinch. I expected her to smack my hand or something similar, but she didn’t.

As I continued, I felt a familiar small bump close to her shoulder blade. She looked at me. Her sight shifted again when her eyes made contact with mine. “You poor thing… I can’t imagine how hard it must be for you at your age.”

She seemed unaware of the rejuvenating effects of the virus. It wasn’t that important, though. Her change wouldn’t be as drastic as mine, so I could explain it another time. My priority was to lessen her concerns, not increase them.

“It’s not as bad as you might think. It was difficult at first, especially the new limbs, but I got used to it quickly. The support I get from my friends and family also helps me a lot.”

She smiled bitterly. “I see… I wish I had that.”

I’m an idiot!

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

Sylvia waved her hand. “It’s fine.”

She’s willing to talk to me, at least.

“Would you tell me about you?” I knew the risk of asking this, but I thought it would be good if she could vent on it.

“I’m not sure if I should… How old are you?”

I would’ve liked to keep that hidden a bit longer. Still, I replied honestly. “Eighteen.”

She raised an eyebrow and stared at me. “I’m sorry, I can’t believe that.”

Well, that confirms it at least.

“Well, it’s part of the process, I’m afraid,” I explained, scratching the back of my head. Demons apparently age a lot slower than humans, so we’re reverted to half of our age.”

“So I’m going to be fifteen and pregnant!?”

I could only nod silently. I knew that could bring some issues healthwise.

Sylvia pressed her lips as she held new tears from coming out. She then took a deep breath. “This is going to be tough.” She closed her eyes and sighed. “Right, your question. I lost my parents in an accident when I was still young, so I spent most of my childhood alone with my grandfather. He, too, passed away a few years ago. I was very lonely after that, so I considered myself lucky when I met Jude. He was there for me when I needed him the most, he meant everything to me. We had been dating for about two years when he finally proposed to me three weeks ago.”

Oh, so they weren’t married yet.

Sylvia sighed and looked at me. “When I was bitten, he told me he would never leave my side, no matter how terrible my sickness was.” Tears began rolling down her cheeks. “Then we saw the pictures. I was quite positive at first, even stupid enough to suggest that he tried to get infected so we went through it together.”

She snorted. “I could see the disgust in his eyes as he refused. He tried to hide his hesitation and insisted he would stay with me, but he had always been very religious and a terrible liar. When I finally got him to tell me the truth, we both agreed to let go. It wasn’t until the next day, when I woke up, that they told me I was pregnant. What am I going to do now that I’m alone?”

I couldn’t think of what to say in response. Everything I thought of sounded rude to me for some reason. In the end, I chose something I always appreciated. “Would you like a hug?”

She nodded, wiping the tears from her face before hugging me tightly.

“You’re not alone anymore. Your baby is here, you know?”

I thought that would cheer her up, and yet, her mood plummeted instead. I gasped. “You don’t want it?”

“What!?” she shouted suddenly, taking me by surprise.

Seeing that I almost fell from the stool, she caught my shoulder with one hand and covered her mouth with the other. “I’m so sorry! A-are you okay? I-I didn’t mean to snap like that. It’s… I’m worried for my baby, that’s all. I just can’t imagine what sort of life we will have after this.”

“Don’t worry, I understand. I can’t lie and say that everything will be fine. I have been called a monster too many times to say that. It hurts more than they’ll ever realise.”

Her tears threatened to show up again. “I mean it sucks, but we’re here for you too! Everyone here is friendly and understanding.”

Or at least pretend to be...

I gave her a reassuring smile. “Who better to understand what you’re going through than your own kind?”

It was obvious she still had some doubts, but she still smiled and hugged me again. “Thank you, Nora.”

Once she was composed, I convinced her to head down to the cafeteria for lunch. Luckily, her wheelchair was motorised, so I didn’t have to push it or call for one of the nurses for help. It was quite slow, though.

---<>----------<>----------<>---

Seeing us coming, Anna looked at Sylvia and examined her expression briefly before asking, “Are you feeling better?”

“Yeah, a little,” Sylvia replied.

Anna nodded. “That’s good. Don’t worry, we’ll do our best to keep you safe and happy.” She turned to me as I sat down next to her. “I have good news for you, Nora.”

“Another spell?” I asked eagerly.

She laughed and shook her head. “No, sorry. It’s just as good, though. The boat and equipment we’ll need for your flight training will arrive in a few days.”

I frowned in confusion. “Why a boat?”

“Remember what we spoke about earlier? While it would be great if you could learn how to fly by simply jumping off the platform, it’s too dangerous if you don’t know how to control your wings. To help you with that, we will train you using the methods that proved to be useful for other demons. Parasailing is one of them, and we are lucky to have a lake where you can do it without being discovered. That’s what we need the boat for.”

“I’ve heard parasailing isn’t very safe either.” Sylvia added.

Seeing my discomfort, Anna placed a hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine as long as we take the proper precautions. For now, we already have some things you can practise before they bring it here. You’ll be ready by then, I promise.”

I nodded slowly in response. “When can I start then?”

“We’ll begin with something simple that you can do whenever you want. Your first goal will be to get used to your wings. I’ve seen you stretch after meditating or adjusting them when they get in the way, but other than that, you don’t really move them, do you? The virus was, well, kind enough to give you strong wings from the get go, but keep in mind that muscles can lose their strength when you don’t use them regularly. Your wings will eventually become too weak to fly if you don’t do something about it.”

“So I just need to flap them?”

Anna reached for her pocket and pulled out her mini tablet. She typed something before presenting it to me. I took the device in my hands and pressed the screen to play the video she selected. I saw a bat flying in slow motion.

Anna explained as both Sylvia and I continued watching. “Take a good look at its movements. That is what you need to practise for now, Nora. From the reports I’ve read, it shouldn’t take you too long to get the hang of it. It’s also better if your whole body is horizontal when you train, since that’s the position you’ll have when you fly. You can ask Allison to hold you up while you try that. I’m sure she’ll love to help you with it.”

As if summoned, Allison arrived with Lily sitting on top of her head. Anna quickly filled her in with our discussion, and she agreed to help me without a second thought. Anna also suggested Sylvia to observe my training, as she would be in the same situation soon.

I was not an expert, but I was sure that wasn’t something you told someone who was already having such a hard time because of the virus. Still, Sylvia agreed to it, as well.

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