I felt consciousness return like a freight train to the head – full of force and pain and sound.  I couldn’t concentrate – it was too loud.  Even putting my hands over my ears did nothing.  Nearby, I heard confused and concerned voices calling out to me in fear – but it was confused by a myriad of other sounds that overwhelmed my senses.  A printer two doors down was printing and ejecting paper.  Three young men were panicking outside as a car accident happened.  I heard someone go through the windshield – and a moment later, heard their heart stop beating.  The tick-tacking of fingers on endless keyboards played a staccato rhythm in his head the drowned out thought, along with hundreds of electronic beeps, and voices calling for help.  I could hear everyone, and I couldn’t shut it out.

 

                I vaguely sensed I was kneeling, and I tried to get to  my feet – but something was wrong, and I felt myself hurtle through the air an hit the ceiling, and fall back down, followed by the debris of several ceiling tiles.  The voices nearby turned from concerned to afraid – and I tried to open my eyes to see what was wrong.  I could feel them burning in my skull, hot as irons in a fire.  Why?

 

                The moment my eyes opened, twin beams of lambent energy shot forth, burning through walls, slicing through stone and concrete and steel. I couldn’t tell if I had hit someone or not.  People screamed in terror – and so did I.  “What is happening?!  What is happening to me?!” I screamed.  The building started to shake, and I quickly shut my eyes to keep from destroying more of the office building.  “I’m sorry!  I’m sorry!  I don’t want to hurt anyone!”  I cried, but all I could hear now was alarms going off and people screaming in terror as they fled; the building shook again.

 

                I can’t stand the noise!  I thought.  I have to shut it down!  What’s happening to me?  Not knowing what to do, I simply lay down on the floor and tried to shut out the noise.  I could tell something was wrong with my body, too, but the sensory input was so overwhelming it consumed all of my attention.  I didn’t dare open his eyes again.

 

                I lay there for a while, hearing chaos and sirens and screaming people – and gradually, as the people fled, the tick-tacking of the keyboards slowed and then stopped, and the electronic beeps and noises of the computers dulled too.  Now all I could hear was the outside stuff – a few hundred people muttering in fear, and wondering if the building was going to come down.

 

                Shit!  I’ve got to get out of here, I thought.  If the building comes down, I’m dead.  I tried slowly getting to his knees, and crawling to where I thought the door was – and oddly I suddenly could see the room clearly, somehow seeing through my closed eyelids – but the room was blurred around the edges, and I couldn’t tell why.  I paused and looked closer – and for a moment saw the furniture and walls and stuff as it really was – whirling clouds of atoms and molecules, like buzzing energy fields.  Slowly, I realized what might be happening, but couldn’t move, marveling at the beauty of creation dancing in the air before him.

 

                Microscopic vision.  Heat Vision.  Super Hearing.  It seemed ridiculous, but I realized that somehow, I had developed superpowers – and was accidentally leveling the building I worked in.   Dammit, I thought.  You know how to do this.  How did Clark control his hearing in Smallville in season 1?  He focused on one point, until he could pick it out from all others.  I listened, trying to find a friendly voice – Eddie’s voice.

 

                Sifting through the multitude of panicked voices outside was difficult, but after a few minutes, I was able to discern Eddie, who was asking if anyone had seen me.  Most folks said no.  As I filtered out the excess noise, I came more to myself – and I realized there was something very, very wrong with my body.  Whatever, I thought, I’ll deal with it later.  I could hear Eddie running towards the building – towards me.  The building rumbled again.  Oh god, no!

 

                I got up slowly and carefully – somehow not flinging myself into the ceiling again – and moved in a shuffle, dragging my feet along the short-napped office carpet.  I made it out into the central office – not the floor where the CSR’s worked, but the area where all the bureaucrats took care of payroll and supplies and so forth – the main office area.  I slowly made my way towards the exit, and the building rumbled again, the lights flickering and debris falling from the ceiling.  Large cracks were showing in the wall – it didn’t take an engineer to realize the entire building was structurally unsound.

 

                Suddenly, Eddie was inside, calling out!  “Kevin!  Kevin!  Are you all right?”  He looked frantic – and then he saw me – standing there looking like gods know what, with my damn eyes closed, shuffling my feet like an idiot.

 

                “Eddie!”  I cried out.  “The building isn’t safe!  Get out!”

 

                He paused, obviously not knowing who I was – probably until he saw I was wearing the same clothes and cologne that Kevin had put on that morning.  “Kevin?  Is that you?!”  He looked shocked, in disbelief, but he also looked scared.

 

                “Yeah… Help!”  I replied.

 

                “What’s wrong.  Why are your eyes shut?”

 

                “I can’t open them… I’ll hurt people.  I need somewhere quiet to figure it out, but the building isn’t safe.”  I looked around, still able to see through my eyelids, and oddly wondering how in the fuck I was going to sleep if I could see through my eyelids.  The exit wasn’t far…  I began shuffling to the exit.

 

                Eddie saw what I was doing, and grabbed my arm.  “Not that way, Kevin.  Out the side door.  Trust me.”

 

                “Okay.” I said quietly, and let him pull me along.  The tugging was light – like I could break out of it like it was a feather.  How strong was I?  Eddie wasn’t a chump and regularly beat me at arm wrestling!  I shuffled as fast as I dared, and we made it to the side door.  It wasn’t an exit I often used – the smokers in the building used it as a quick way to deke outside and get a puff or two before returning to work.  It had one benefit – it opened onto the company parking lot instead of the main street.

 

                Eddie dragged me across the parking lot, towards a walkway that led to the next street over – for the life of me I couldn’t recall its name at the moment.  As we hit the main street, we heard an awful groan and a tearing noise – and looked behind us to see the Precision Telecom building slide about 15 meters to the left, and groan as it began to crumble and fall, toppling like an immense domino of steel, brick and mortar.  It crumbled into a heap of rubble – and I watched in terror as it seemed a dozen or more people disappeared into the ruin and wreckage.

 

                Did I do that?!  I screamed internally.  Did I just cause a dozen people to die?!  “No! No!  Oh my god!”  I couldn’t hear the words coming out of my throat – I was crushed by the guilt of ending those people’s lives.  I killed people.  Oh God.

 

                Eddie had paused to see the 12 story building topple, and looked shocked and scared – whether of me or the destruction I didn’t yet know.  He hailed a cab, and threw me in the back, and in seconds he joined me and we were on our way to who the fuck knows where.   I kept my eyes shut, sobbing in grief for what I’d done – even accidentally.  I don’t know what I said, exactly, but I think I repeated “I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” about a hundred times.

 

                The car stopped, and I felt Eddie pull me out of the car.  “Kev?  We’re here.  Follow me, okay?”

 

                I didn’t know what else to do so I followed where he led.  I heard him pay the driver, and also heard the driver mutter about “crazies” as he drove away.  His engine had a nasty tick in the third cylinder – if he didn’t take care of that soon, he’d seize his engine.  I don’t know why I even thought of that – but the sound had been so damn clear! I really need to get my senses under control!

 

                Eddie gently grasped my arm.  “Hey, Kev?  You still with me?”  He sounded worried.

 

                “Yeah…” I replied, shakily.  I was a nervous emotional wreck. “I’m here, sort of.”

 

                “I’m taking you to my apartment where it’s dark and quiet, okay?”

 

                I knew Eddie kept his place dimly lit – I had stopped by in the past, and he had it lit by candle light.  He said he liked the ambience.  I thought at the time it was to save on electricity, but hey – maybe he liked candlelight!  It sounded like a haven.  “Thanks Eddie…  Are you sure?  I don’t want to hurt you too.”

 

                “You won’t,” he said.  “I trust you.  Now follow me.”  I felt his arm guide me towards his building so I shuffled along, keeping my feet close to the ground so there were no accidental leaps into the non existent ceiling.  We got across the front entryway, inside, and to the elevator with not too much trouble – although I suspect a few people gave us odd looks.  A few minutes later, he brought me into his apartment.  It was a single bedroom apartment, like mine – but more spacious and well appointed.  Eddie’s parents liked to spoil their eldest son and he had a nice TV with a sound system, an Xbox 1 with a ton of games, a nice laptop computer setup for online gaming, and a nice dining room table set.  He also had a really nice leather couch, which was comfortable enough to sleep on.  I know, cause I had crashed there once or twice in the past.

 

                “Are you okay to go to the bedroom?”  Eddie asked.

 

                “What?  I can’t take your bed.”  I complained.

 

                “Please, don’t argue.  I have some white noise cancelling headphones.  I’m going to give them to you so you can get his under control, okay.  The room is dark – like dark dark – and you won’t have too much light bothering you.  Please, you look like you need it.  And I need five or ten minutes alone to figure out what the fuck just happened today!”

 

                “Oh.. Okay.  Thanks, Eddie.”  I replied, a little nervously; Eddie didn’t normally raise his voice.  He must be scared by what’s happening too.  Outside I could hear more car accidents, screams, and other less identifiable sounds.

 

                He handed me something – it felt like the headphones – and guided me to his room.  I laid down, and put the headphones on.  The first thing I noticed was things got very quiet, very fast – and it was like a big confusing waterfall that had been washing all over me was just gone, and I could think.  The second thing I noticed is his bed smelled a lot like him, and I was surprised to find I didn’t think it smelled bad.

 

                “I’m going to leave you to rest a bit, Kevin – and go watch the news and try to see what’s going on.  Call me if you need me.”  Eddie said quietly.

 

                “Will do,” I replied.  “I’m just going to try and figure this out.  The headphones help a lot.”  I was really grateful for them, too.

 

                Eddie left me alone, and I lay down, and tried to sort out my thoughts, myself, and whatever the hell had happened today.  It didn’t take a rocket scientist to feel the breasts on my chest – they felt huge, now that I had attention to pay to them.  I felt one gently with my hand… It felt real, and attached to me.  That’s good, right?  I asked myself. I decided it was good.  I wasn’t wearing shoes… I could feel my toes in my sock feet.  I must have lost them when I changed – maybe my feet got smaller?  I dunno.  I lost them somewhere.  Somewhere inside of me, a part of me was still screaming about the people I had accidentally killed, but I tried for now to ignore that part, and concentrate on my senses – so that I wouldn’t be completely incapacitated, and I wouldn’t accidentally heat vision the building into rubble and end up killing several dozens more people.  That would be a really shitty way to repay Eddie for his help.

 

                It took a while – concentrating on a single sound, then adding another, and another, one by one like the layers of an onion until the picture my hearing was an entire canvas, and I could focus on any part I wanted.  It seems ludicrous, but the way the Kents’ taught Clark how to control his senses seemed to help me.  Thank god I was a superhero nerd.  I tried to look about the room, without opening my eyelids – seeing through my eyelids again.  It was weird and trippy, but it helped me figure out how to focus on what I should be able to see – and not see whirling clouds of electrons and atoms, or be confused by infrared images or X-Ray images.  Eventually I was also able to focus and keep myself from seeing through my own eyelids… So I had reached the moment of truth.  Either I could open my eyes and NOT burn down Eddies apartment, or I would be shopping for some ruby lensed sunglasses very soon.  I figured if they worked for Cyclops of the X-Men, they might work for me, right?

 

                Meanwhile Eddie had been watching the news, and from what I had overheard this ‘event’ – whatever they were calling it – had happened across the entire country – and maybe the whole damn world.  The United States had gone to a full state of emergency and Detroit, Penrith City, and New York apparently were similar to war zones.  Other cities, like Atlanta, Houston and Los Angeles weren’t much better.  I heard that there were battles between police and “monsters” in dozens of suburbs of Toronto, and the losses were heavy on both the monsters and the authorities sides.  Citizens were hiding in their homes, waiting for the chaos to end.  It was a disaster of epic proportions, literally happening as I listened.  New York was even being attacked by a gigantic dragon, for gods’ sake.  It seemed like the world was coming to an end.

 

                I smiled.  It was like suicide – a deception.  It seemed like the end of the world – but that too was a lie.  It was the end of the world as we knew it.  The world that came after would be what we made of it – and if people did things right it could as bright or brighter than any future we might have otherwise dreamed.  But fear would make people do strange things – things they wouldn’t normally do.  They needed someone to try and help them – let them know they aren’t alone.  To help them not be afraid anymore.

 

                For a moment, I wondered if that person could be me?

 

                If not me, then who?  I asked myself.  Can I stay here, safe, while the city I love is tearing itself apart in violence?  Can I make a difference?  What can I do?   I thought about it for a while longer, and realized if I didn’t do something, then I would accomplish nothing.  I had to try something.  I took off the headphones, and sighed with relief.  My hearing was back to normal, mostly, and I could focus on the sounds I wanted to hear.  Good.  Now to open my eyes.  This time my eyes didn’t feel like fire, and when I opened them, no lasers shot out.  It felt like a good start.

 

                I slowly stood up, and shuffled my way towards Eddie’s living room, slowly taking gentle steps.  I emerged into a dark room lit by six candles, the curtains drawn and the TV set to CP24, which was showing breaking news of the giant dragon leveling Manhattan island.  I wondered if that too had been a person, and felt pity well up in me.  They didn’t ask for this, as I hadn’t – and now they would die or kill millions.  I hoped – I prayed that wasn’t my fate as well.

 

                “Hey, Eddie.”  I said, causing my friend to startle, I had been so silent.

 

                “Oh – Hey, Kevin.  How are you feeling.”  He was staring at me oddly – and it took a moment to realize he was staring at my new breasts, which were barely constrained by the button down shirt I was wearing.  It felt a bit weird, being stared at like that.  It felt weird having breasts too, for that matter.  Not bad – just weird.

 

                “Um… up here, Eddie.”  Kevin replied, pointing to his eyes.

 

                “Shit… Sorry!”  Eddie blushed bright red being caught in the act, and looked quite contrite.  For some reason I found it rather cute.  I filed that feeling away for later.

 

                “No worries.  I’d probably look too, to be honest.  I’m feeling much better – I can manage my hearing and stuff much better now.  Those headphones are a godsend.”

 

                “I’ll thank my parents later.  They help me relax to study.”  He motioned to me.  “Have you seen yourself?”  He asked.

 

                “Not yet.  Why?”

 

                “You should look.  You’re drop dead gorgeous.  I don’t think you have to worry about transitioning anymore.”  He said, deadpan.  It was like he was worried to say too much.

 

                “I’ll take a look in a minute.  How bad is it out there?”  I asked.

 

                “Bad.  Really bad.  Psychotic and frightened metahumans are popping up all over the city, and the cops are trying to contain them, a lot of people are scared and fighting back, and a lot of people are getting hurt.  If a lot of people changed like you did, they’re probably scared shitless and don’t know what to do.”

 

                “Then I guess I have to go back out there.”  I replied.

 

                “What!?  Why?” Eddie asked.  “It’s not safe!”

 

                “No, it’s not.  But you know me, Eddie.  When have I been one to stand aside and not help people when they need it.  I need to help.  I can hear all of them – crying for help, for someone to save them.  I don’t know if I can be that person, but if I don’t try, I’ll never forgive myself.  Maybe if I can save them, it will make up for the people I accidentally killed this afternoon.”

 

                “That wasn’t you, Kevin!  The building fell on them!”  Eddie replied.

 

                “Eddie, it was me who accidentally caused the building to collapse.  My heat vision severed vital structural supports and the building collapsed.  It was my fault.  Their deaths are on me.  And now I have to do something to make sure more people don’t die.  Can I come back here when I’m done?”

 

                Eddie looked shocked.  “Yeah, pal.  You’re always welcome.  Try not to die, okay.”

 

                “Eddie, I will try and try hard not to die… but if I do die, I take comfort in knowing it was doing the right thing.  Sometimes all that matters is what we do with our last breaths, and if I can save someone else, then maybe the sacrifice is worth it.”

 

                Eddie didn’t argue… He knew Kevin felt that way completely.  His older comic book nerd gamer friend was one of the nicest and bravest people Eddie knew, except when it came to defending himself.  He was a person you could rely on, and he knew it would be pointless to try and stop him.

 

                “Hey, Kevin, do me a favor…”  he asked.

 

                “What’s that?” I asked back.

 

                “Stay hydrated.”  He tossed me a bottle of water.  “See you later, masturbator.”

 

                I smiled back.  “In a while, pedophile.  Later dude.”

 

                “Say hi to Pepsi for me!” Eddie called as I headed for the door.

 

                “Will do.  See you soon.”

 

                I left the apartment and closed the door.  Even as I boarded the elevator, I could hear him curse, and say “I hope so you damn idiot.  I hope so.”

 

                I felt like a damn idiot too – but an idiot full of conviction.  Only an idiot would go unarmed and unarmored into what amounted to a superhuman war zone.  Still, even if I couldn’t do much, I could do a little, and maybe that little would be enough?

 

                It was time to find out.