Once I got back to the dorms, and Krissie and I had gotten cleaned up, it was close to 4pm.  I started getting ready for my evening out with Eddie – this time having had the foresight to pick two or three outfits to choose from before hand, so I didn’t waste too much time.  I looked at this evenings choices – Skinny jeans, a D&D T-shirt with a dragon on it, and some running shoes was choice one – dressed down and casual, but maybe too casual.  There was a nice blue dress with gold accents that matched my hair – I’d need nylons or leggings and pumps – and fortunately I had both.  The problem with that outfit was it looked chilly for the weather.  Then again, I thought, you’re being a moron.  You’re probably immune to the cold – you didn’t freeze when you jumped 8 kilometers straight up, right? 

 

                Okay, so choice 2 was looking better.  Choice 3 was kind of a compromise between the two: a jeans skirt that came down a bit past my knees, a nice blouse with a vest, and a jacket with my nice boots.  It was kind of a mix between casual and dressy, in my opinion, and I decided to go with that.  Eddie and I may have been friends for a long time, but I didn’t want to overwhelm or underwhelm him either.  Plus, I had been itching to try that outfit since I got it a few days ago…

 

                I quickly got dressed, and liked the look and feel of the clothes on me – although I did feel a bit self conscious about wearing the clothes, like I had during my date with Mal.  Part of me still felt like an imposter – like I wasn’t really a woman yet – but I did my best to bury those thoughts and promised to try and let myself have a good time.  After all, it was going to probably take months to get used to my new body and my new situation, until I truly would feel comfortable with the new me.

 

                I sighed, and looked at the time… 4:25pm.  Geez, I was going to be late, I thought as I headed out – stopping in the kitchenette as Krissie called out to me.

 

                “Hey, Karen!  What’s up?  You going out with Mal again?”  Krissie called.

 

                “Um… no.  I was going out to visit my friend Eddie.”  I replied.

 

                “Oh!  Is he nice?” 

 

                “I guess so.  We’ve been friends for a long time.  We’ve never gone out on a date before, though.”  I said nervously.

 

                “Well, try to relax – I’m sure you’ll have a good time.”

 

                “Yeah, but I’m already late.  Unless I fly, there’s no way I’ll get there on time, unless I talk to Ben.”

 

                Krissie looked at me kind of funny and drolly said  “And these aren’t good ideas, why, exactly?  I mean, you’ve got superpowers, girl!  Why not use them!  Let him know he’s going on a date with the one and only Guardian!  Can you imagine how much he would nerd out if you literally flew up to him?  I mean, this guy is a nerd right?  Girl, seriously, use your brain.  You were going to call a taxi, weren’t you?”

 

                “Maybe.”  I replied.

 

                “Karen, you’re a great room-mate, and a really nice person, but you are a complete idiot.  If you want to wow him, then wow him.  You’re not normal anymore – why pretend to be?”  Krissie pointed to the door.  “Go.  Fly.  Dish when you get home… if you get home.”

 

                “Are you ordering me out?”  I laughed.  “Yes ma’am.  Flight 002 for The Village is departing shortly.”  And of course she would want to talk about the date later.  Girls, always talking about their feelings.  I was going to have to get used to that very quickly, I suspected.  I smirked.  I definitely didn’t have anything against it – in fact I was looking forward to it, but my previous life where I was raised to be a man certainly didn’t prepare me for this new facet of my life.  I spent 45 years NOT talking about my feelings, and now I’m supposed to try and do an about face?  This is going to be a challenge.

 

                I waved goodbye to Krissie, and headed downstairs to the campus quad.  The weather was overcast and chilly, but I had a decent coat, and the wind wasn’t too bad.  Fly, huh?  I thought.  He is going to be blown away.

I crouched, and summoned my energy, and took off – my coat flapping in the wind.  I slowed to a decent pace, where I wouldn’t get blown away, and headed east, towards the Danforth Village and Eddie’s apartment.  As I flew, I couldn’t help but realize that it was damn hard to navigate from above the city – all the buildings looked the same.  I had to use my telescopic vision to read the road signs from a distance to know exactly where I was going – otherwise I would have been a few blocks off course.

 

                I landed outside Eddie’s apartment, managing to draw a small crowd of people who looked both interested and a bit fearful at the same time.  I wasn’t sure I liked that feeling – a lot of people weren’t very pleased about the Emergence and the new kinds of people that resulted from it.  I left them behind and went inside.  My watch said it was 4:45pm – 15 minutes to go from Etobicoke to the East Village?  I thought, amazed.  I’d still be in traffic for another hour if I’d taken a cab… It was a well established fact that going anywhere in Toronto took about an hour or more. There were just too many people and too much traffic.  Huh!  I thought.  I could get used to flying around.

 

                I buzzed Eddie, and a few moments later, the door lock buzzed, so I assumed he wanted me up in his apartment.  I headed upstairs, and noticed with a bit of jealousy that his elevator didn’t smell like weed or hashish or whatever the smell was in my building.  I smirked. What a stupid thing to be jealous of.

 

                When I got to Eddie’s door, I paused, feeling a little panicky.  My heart was racing, and I felt warm and cold at the same time.  What if I fucked it up?  What if we weren’t friends after this?  I hesitated – and then the decision was taken from me as the door opened up and Eddie was standing there, a smile a mile wide across his face!

 

                “Kev…I mean Karen!  You look great!”  He said, stumbling over my new name. “C’mon in.”

 

                “Hi Eddie,” I replied, trying to not get my knickers in a twist about it.  “Something smells good?”  Indeed, when I walked into his apartment, all I could smell was a lovely roast and the smell of garlic. 

 

                “Yeah.”  Eddie began.  “I didn’t know how self conscious or not you would feel about going out, so I thought why not make a fancy dinner for just the two of us, and if we want to we can go out after the fact – and if not, we’ve got movies, games, and what have you to occupy us.”

 

                “I didn’t know you could cook a nice roast, Eddie.”

 

                “There’s a lot I never shared with you when you were Kevin.”  He replied, smiling.  “It just didn’t come up.  It’s my dad’s recipe.  I hope you like garlic and roast beef.”

 

                “You bought a roast of beef!?  It must have cost a fortune!”  I exclaimed in surprise.

 

                “More expensive than taking a lovely lady to a fancy restaurant?  I doubt it.” He began. “And besides, I bet this roast beats the socks off something we could buy in a restaurant.  Trust me, okay?”

 

                I smiled.  “Okay, Eddie.  I trust you.”

 

                “Good.  Now go sit down in the living room, and I’ll join you in a moment.  I’ve got to check on the baked potatoes and the dressing for the salad.”  He headed off to the kitchen, so I watched him go, and headed to the living room.  The whole apartment smelled like garlic and roasting meat.  It was wonderful.  I couldn’t help but catch a glimpse of him in the kitchen from the living room.  He looked focused.  Different from his usual laid back demeanor.  I liked it.

 

                In the living room, the rollover news was on, but muted.  Boss Hogg - or Premiere Ford – was cutting another two million dollars from the education budget, and people were not happy.  Typical news day then.  Oh well.  I looked around, and couldn’t help but notice the apartment was really clean – cleaner than usual.  I guess he was trying to impress me, I thought.  Another difference between now and then.

 

                I waited quietly for a few moments, and Eddie reappeared, with two glasses of iced drinks.  “I got you a diet Sprite.  Is that okay?”  He asked.

 

                “Yeah, that’s great.”  I replied, taking the drink, and putting it on a coaster on his coffee table, after taking a generous sip.

 

                “Great.”  Eddie went and sat on the couch at the far end, giving me some space between himself and myself, and sipped his drink before putting it down too.  “How has the MRT been, so far?”

 

                “Pretty good.”  I replied.  “There are about 10 or 12 of us – 4 women, 8 men – and some of them changed gender during the Emergence like I did.  I won’t say who, but they seem happier about it too, like I was.”

 

                “That’s really cool.”  Eddie replied.  “Any problems?”

 

                “Mostly no.  There’s one guy, Cliff who has a major chip on his shoulder, and one young woman named Jessica who really upset me, but I think we’re trying to work through it at the moment.  I don’t know if we’ll end up being friends, but I think I’ll be able to work with her if I have to.”  I paused.  “I also told them about the people who got crushed in the Precision Telecom building.  Jessica spilled it – and I told my boss.  She’s in front of a federal judge today to see if I should be charged with manslaughter or be exonerated.”

 

                “That’s messed up!  They do know it was an accident, right?”  Eddie said, incensed.

 

                “Yeah.  Ms. Potter said she expected them to exonerate me and clear me of any wrongdoing, but it’s still nerve wracking.  Nadine hadn’t got back from court before I left to come visit you.”

 

                “You made good time.”  Eddie commented.  “Nervous?”

 

                “Oh god, yes.”  Karen replied.  “Nervous about going to jail.  Nervous about going on a date with you.  Nervous about a dozen things like the fact I don’t know a damn thing about how ladies interact with each other and I keep getting blindsided by new problems with roommates and coworkers.  I feel like I have to relearn practically everything I ever knew about socialization.”

 

                Eddie grinned.  “Why would a date with me make you nervous?”

 

                Of course that would be his take away. I thought.  “Because, dork, I was worried our friendship might get hurt if us dating didn’t work out.  I don’t want to lose you as a friend.”

 

                His smile softened.  “Hey, Karen.  Don’t think because our friendship might change into something else, that it’s ruined.  It’ll just be different.  And yeah, it may get weird and awkward a bit for a while between us, but I think we’ll do fine.  Don’t worry about it too much, okay.  Let the future take care of itself.”

 

                I smiled wryly.  “I’ll try.”  

 

                “Good.”  He said.  “So what are the other team members like?”

 

                I sat and began telling Eddie about my time with the MRT and its members, and my first impressions of my teammates.  I thought I was beginning to bore him, but now and then he’d ask an interesting question about one of their powers, or their personality, and sometimes I had an answer, and sometimes I didn’t.  I also told him Pepsi seemed to be able to understand human speech now, too.

 

                “So Pepsi can understand humans?”  He asked.

 

                “Yeah.  It happened sometime around the Emergence, but we haven’t figured out if Pepsi Emerged or if something else happened.  There hasn’t been any other mention of animals being affected anywhere, so I suspect something else happened.”

 

                “And you know this, because Jimmy the cat boy techie and Mike the were-tiger can talk to cats.”  He asked.

 

                “Pretty much.”  I replied.  “I’ll try and get the full story later, but that’s the gist of it.”

 

                We sat quietly for a moment, just letting the conversation lull a bit. 

 

                “I hope you’re not upset I didn’t take you out tonight, Karen.”  Eddie began. 

 

                “God, no!  A homemade roast beef dinner beats going to some noisy pub anyway.”  I replied, smiling.  “It smells great, by the way.  When will it be ready?”

 

                Eddie checked his watch, and got up to go to the kitchen.  “About ten minutes.  I’ve got some stuff I have to do – could you set the table with some dishes?”

 

                “Sure.”  I replied, wondering what he was doing.  I went into the kitchen, and saw him removing a few baked potatoes wrapped in foil from the oven, and mixing a batter in a dish – and I realized he was trying to make Yorkshire puddings!  Oh wow, I thought.  He’s going all out.  I’ll bet dinner is amazing!  I grabbed some plates, cutlery and some napkins, and left the kitchen so he could work, and began setting the table.

 

                Dinner was ready shortly after, and while the roast sat and cooled, Eddie presented the two of us with a really nice, really garlicky Caesar salad.  It was so strong, I could feel my pores open and start to sweat, but it tasted great.  He even returned from the kitchen with a bottle of red wine and two wine glasses.

 

                “Would you like a glass of wine, Karen?”  Eddie asked.

 

                “Yes, that would be great!”  I replied.  Eddie pulled the cork out, and poured.  The wine smelled sweet and tart – it was a bit dry – maybe a Merlot?  It was really nice.

 

                “The wine is great, Eddie.”

 

                “Thanks, Karen.  I kind of hoped this dinner would be a bit of a blast from your past.  When things used to be good for you.”

 

                I smiled.  He remembered that story I told about when I was fourteen?  About my parents and their dinner parties?  I felt myself tearing up, and not knowing why.  It had brought back good memories, and I was thoroughly enjoying myself.  I couldn’t care less about my parents – but the sheer nostalgia and happy thoughts it brought back – and the fact he remembered a silly vignette I told him maybe two or three years ago, touched me in a way I didn’t understand.

 

                “Tonight has been perfect, Eddie.”  I said, honestly.  “I’m really enjoying myself – and my company.”

Eddie smiled again, and I smiled too.  He looked handsome when he smiled. 

 

                “I am too.  More salad?”  He asked.

 

                “Maybe later.” 

 

                “I’ll go check the roast then.”  He got up, and returned to the kitchen, and a few minutes later, brought out a nicely sized prime rib on a platter, followed by a tureen of gravy and 6 nice sized Yorkshire puddings. 

 

                “You know there is no freaking way we are going to eat all of this!”  I said, chuckling.

 

                “You always told me the leftovers were the best part.”  Eddie smirked.

 

                “Oh my god, you remembered that too!  You’re awesome, Eddie.”

 

                “Thanks Karen.”  He replied, and I did a double take.  Normally he’d say something like “I know I am.” Or something like that.  Not this time.  “I figure I can send you home with a nice doggy bag – or kitty bag as the case may be, and still have a few leftovers here for me tomorrow too.”

 

                “Good thinking.”

 

                “I try.”  Eddie laughed.  “Let’s eat.”  Eddie proceeded to cut up the roast beef, and serve dinner.  For almost an hour we enjoyed a lovely meal together – and by the time we were done, dinner was demolished and the bottle of wine was empty and we were working on our second bottle.

 

                “Dinner was amazing.”  I told Eddie.

 

                “Thanks, Karen.  I don’t cook too often.  I don’t really have anyone to cook for.”

 

                “You don’t cook for yourself?”

 

                “Too much effort.” He replied.  “It’s a big production.  I like being able to show off for someone.”

 

                “Well, you really showed off tonight!  Dinner was amazing!” 

 

                Eddie smiled.  “Interested in dessert?”

 

                “Oh, god, no – not for a while at least.  I feel like I’m going to explode.”

 

                “Okay.  What would you like to do now?  We could go out – or if you prefer we could relax on the couch and watch a movie or play games while dinner digests.”

 

                I thought about it, and the idea of relaxing on Eddie’s couch was pretty appealing.  “Couch, and a movie I think.  Is there anything I haven’t seen?” 

 

                “Probably, or would you want to watch an old favorite?”  He asked, holding up a copy of ‘The Fountain’ – one of my favorite movies of all time.  A time travel romance, tearjerker, and an art film all rolled into one.

 

                “You remembered that too?!”  I gasped. 

 

                “Hey, unlike some people I know, I actually listen when people talk to me.”  He chided.  “I thought it might be nice for our first date.”

 

                “Wow, you’re on a roll tonight, mister!”  I laughed.  “I’m having a great time.”

 

                He smiled. “I’m glad.”  He cued up the film, and sat down next to me on the couch.  “This okay?”

 

                I took his arm, and maneuvered it around me, and leaned into him.  “Now it’s okay.”

 

                He smiled, and we sat back and watched the movie, drinking red wine, and sharing with each other.  I couldn’t have been happier.

 

 

*              *              *

               

 

                As the movie ended, and the credits rolled, I wiped the tears from my eyes.  I had cried maybe six times throughout the film – thanks to my new hormones, I expect – and I was feeling really emotional.  The movie was very powerful – but I had never experienced it like this before.  It was special.

 

                “That was amazing, Eddie.”  I said, wiping my eyes.

 

                “You okay, Karen?”  He asked, gently.

 

                “Yeah.  That movie gets me every time.  Thanks.”

 

                “It was my pleasure.” He said, gently disentangling from me and getting up to turn off the TV and put the movie away.  “Do you need a few minutes?”

 

                “I wouldn’t mind a few minutes, actually.”  I replied.  I rushed off to the bathroom, and took care of business, and then freshened up a bit.  A little washing of my face helped scrub the red eyes away from me crying earlier, and I think I looked – and felt – a bit better.

 

                When I came out, Eddie had cleaned up the dishes and food off the table, and placed two desserts at our places – a soft cherry cheesecake that I remembered I had told him about a year ago.  How the hell had he found the recipe?  Oh my god!  I smiled.  He is trying so hard to impress me, I thought. 

 

                “Is that my cheesecake?”  I asked.

 

                “I hope so.”  He replied.  “I think it’s close.  Is it too much?”

 

                “No.  It’s perfect.”  I smiled, and came to sit at the table.  “It’s a good time for dessert too.”

 

                “Good.”  He replied.  “I’m not trying too hard, am I?”

 

                “Oh my god, Eddie!” I replied.  “Tonight has been perfect.  From the dinner to the movie to dessert.  I don’t know how you remembered all my favorites, but wow!  Have you enjoyed dinner too?  I wasn’t expecting tonight to be all about me.”

 

                Eddie grinned, and looked very pleased.  “I loved dinner.  I loved my company more.  I’ve had a great time tonight.”

 

                “I…”  I paused, not sure what to say. 

 

                “Let’s just have dessert.”  Eddie said.

 

                I nodded, and tried some of the cherry cheesecake.  It was a no bake cheesecake, made with Dream whip and cream cheese and sugar and cherries and graham cracker crumbs.  It was so close to the recipe I had told him about, it might as well have been identical.  Dessert was amazing. 

 

                We ate in silence, enjoying the tasty treat, and eventually our plates were empty.  I helped Eddie carry the dishes to the kitchen.

 

                “Want to go sit and chat?”  He asked.

 

                “Sure.”  We headed back to the couch, and sat down, Eddie next to me.  “What do you want to talk about?”

 

                “You.”

 

                “Me?  We’ve been talking about me all evening.  I told you how the MRT stuff went.”  I replied.

 

                “But not about how you are doing.”  He replied.  “How are you dealing with your change?  Are you finding yourself happy?  Is the dysphoria gone?  I want to know how you are doing.”

 

                “I… I am happy.”  I began.  “I don’t even notice any dysphoria anymore, except when I sometimes feel like I need to get used to this body – like when my boobs get in the way of something or when people treat me differently than before.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m loving that people treat me differently, mostly, but I still feel like I need time to get used to it.  I guess I’m trying to say I love what’s happened, but I need time to internalize it all so it stops feeling new and weird, and feels more natural.”

 

                “I’m really glad for you.”  Eddie said, honestly.  “I was worried you might still have problems.”

 

                I looked at the concern in his eyes, and I realized for the first time, he was worried because Kevin – the old me – had been so close to giving up.  To ending it all.  He was worried because he knew how much I was hurting in the past, and needed to know I was getting better.  That I was better.  I felt butterflies in my stomach, realizing how much I mattered to him, and felt happy and ashamed at the same time. 

 

                “Eddie, I don’t know how to explain it.  I feel happy.  I feel hope for the first time in thirty years.  I feel like I have a future.  I know my problems aren’t all magically going to go away, but it’s like a pall has been lifted from the room, and I can see the light at the end of the tunnel – and this time it’s not an oncoming train.  I feel for the first time like a have a future, and I can choose to live instead of just existing.  I… I don’t know how else to say it.  I feel better.”

 

                “I’m glad.”  Eddie whispered, and leaned in towards me, and gently kissed me on the lips.  His lips were strong, firm, and still tasted a bit like cherry cheesecake.

 

                I enjoyed the kiss, and gently kissed him back.  His 5 o’clock shadow made the little bristles of his beard tickle on my cheek, but it was a good distraction.  He smelled nice – like a nice musky cologne, and it made me a bit self conscious I hadn’t used any perfume or cosmetics, after he’d gone all out.  I felt like I needed to try harder next time.  We tasted each other’s lips, gentle and sharing.

 

                “Wow.”  He said, blinking.  “That was amazing.”

 

                “It was.”  I agreed, putting my arms on his chest.  “I liked it.”

 

                “I did too, Karen.”  He paused.  “Would you like to try it again?”

 

                “Yes.”  I gently replied.

 

                Eddie gently took me in his arms, and kissed me again – this time, gently probing with his tongue.  I joined him, and we gently explored each other with our kisses, and our hands.  I slid my hands along his chest, and he along mine, and I gasped when he reached my breasts.  I had felt them before myself – but now was different.  Eddie’s touch made all the difference, and soon we were both hot and bothered from our necking.  We kept it up for I don’t know how long, but I could feel something in me growing warm, and wet – and I could tell Eddie was getting excited too.

 

                I didn’t know what to do.  Do I stay?  Do I touch him there?  What will he expect me to do?  Is he expecting me to do anything?  Will he want to touch me?  Oh god, am I ready?  Why am I scared?  I froze up, just for a moment, and Eddie paused.

 

                “Is everything all right, Karen?”  He said, concerned.  “Would you like me to stop?”

 

                “I… I just got a bit scared for a minute, Eddie.”  I replied.  “I think we’re entering unknown waters here.”

 

                “Yeah, I guess so.  I know who you used to be, but you’re different now too.  You look like the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.  I can’t think of you as him anymore… I… I’ve been dreaming about you all week. I wanted tonight to be perfect for both of us.”

 

                “I have had a perfect night, Eddie.”  I said, kissing him on the lips gently – a little rabbit kiss.  “I just got scared for a minute.”

 

                “Scared of what, beautiful?”  He asked.

 

                “Change.  What happens next.  If I’m ready for this.” I answered.

 

                “I understand.  We can call it a night if you want?”  Eddie replied, looking a bit sad, but still concerned.

 

                “No – that’s not it.  I just needed a few minutes to make up my mind as to what I wanted.”

 

                “And what do you want?”  Eddie asked, hopefully.

 

                “You, you dorkus.  I had a great time, and I’m not ready for it to end.  So shut up, and kiss me.”

 

                Eddie nodded, and kissed me, then pulled away.  “You know, it’s Dorkus Maximus, right?” 

 

                “Shut up!” I laughed, and pulled him in for another kiss.  “Dorkus.”  He kissed me back, and this time didn’t correct me.  The rest of the night would be a tale for another time.