My friends finished up their finals and we had a few days all to ourselves before people started breaking off for winter holidays. Every once in a while, the four of us would do this thing where we essentially locked ourselves in a room and played games non-stop for as long as we could. The room was stocked with adequate pizza and snacks, (as well as access to a bathroom). We battled it out for hours and days as each of us won a game and we moved onto the next. After three and a half-days the final tallies were in and we decided to call it quits.

We all said our momentary goodbyes, knowing that we would all see each other again once school started back.

The proceeding experience was a new one for me. Every year for the winter holidays, my family headed down to my grandparents in Florida. My mom had been on the phone with them, explaining what had happened, what to call me, and so on. That didn't make it any less stressful as I headed down in the car ride.

We pulled up to their large house and I took a moment before clambering out. I greeted my grandparents as I always had and they hugged me just as was normal. We unloaded our bags, sat, and did our just arrived catch-up session. It was, again... mostly normal, but I could tell we were all talking around the elephant in the room. My mom said that they had seemed accepting over the phone, but I knew they were somewhat conservative and I was still worried.

At some point or another, my grandmother wanted to show something to my parents and the three of them left the room leaving just me and grandpa.

"So... " he said, looking almost as awkward and nervous as I felt. "What am I supposed to call you now?"

I knew my mom had already explained it to him, so this had me panicking a bit.

"Amelia," I responded as casually as I could muster.

"And I say she?" he asked, confused.

I nodded my head and tried to give him an upbeat look, "Yeah, pretty much."

There was a tense and elongated silence that he eventually broke.

"I just feel like the grandson I had is... dead so to speak."

The worst-case scenario was slowly hitting and I did my best to lay things out.

"I'm not dead, I'm still here."

"Well sure, but Isaac is... gone now."

"I'm still me grandpa. I'm still the same nerdy kid as before, I just look a little different is all."

That seemed to strike a chord, or at the very least he knew he'd hit the awkward limit for that conversation. We sat in silence for another few seconds. I was relieved when the rest of my family walked back into the room.

The conversation progressed more normally, and it did feel as though we'd jumped a big hurdle. My grandmother did bring up the topic of my transition. She said that she had an employee that was dying to teach me how to do my make-up and had some spare clothes to send my way. I did my best to politely deny.

After the first evening, the rest of the trip went smoothly. It was as normal. My grandparents did have some trouble using the correct name and pronouns, but it was to be expected. At the end of two weeks, we packed up and headed back home.

We always got back really close to the start of school, so I wasn't given much time to mentally prep for my first day back. The night before I was texting Lily frantically.

"Its gonna be ok," she texted me, "You've got most of your classes with me, Sadie, and Kai. We'll make sure nothing bad happens."

I took an uneasy breath. The school knew about what had happened to me, especially since they were the ones who caught it. They'd given me teachers who they knew would be the most on-board. I just needed to relax. The whole point of school was to learn, but I was not foreseeing that I would pick up any information the next day.

My alarm rang nice and early. I'd picked out my outfit the day before. It was a pair of jeans, a tighter fitting black and white striped shirt, and an oversized jacket to throw over everything and keep me warm. I pulled just the hair that fell in front of my face back into a small ponytail and let everything else hang naturally. My hair had grown barely past my shoulders and I could feel it when I tilted my head back. Lily had wanted me to hammer home my new femininity with one of the skirts I'd bought and some solid make-up. I talked her down from the ledge but had to compromise on some natural-looking makeup. I shoveled my breakfast into my mouth, got bundled up, and biked to school.

I was grateful for the cold air almost stinging against my face during the ride, but I was a little worried about how it would affect the makeup I had on. Before I knew it, I pulled into the bike rack, locked my bike up, and headed to the auditorium to wait for class to start.

The gang was in their usual spots and I made a bee-line right for them. They greeted me casually but did an extra good job of easing the tension. As we chatted about the Star Wars movie that had just come out over the holidays I could tell I was getting some intense stares. There were plenty of whispers while people looked in our direction, and some didn't even have the place of mind to whisper. My friends could tell what was happening, but before they could do anything the bell rang and I headed off to homeroom. I was more glad than ever to share homeroom with Kai.

As I walked in and took my seat, Ms. Hudson made her way over.

"It’s nice to have back Amelia," she said with a matronly smile.

"It’s nice to be back Ms. Hudson." She gave me another smile and then walked up to the front of the room to address the rest of the class.

She talked about general announcements and a few things that I had no real interest in until the first bell rang and we went off to our first class of the day. I sat next to Sadie in my first class and Lily in my second. I was happy to have their company and was capable of paying attention to at least half of what the teachers were saying.

The final bell for second period rang, meaning that it was time for break. Lily told me that she needed to stay a second and ask the teacher some questions. She said it wasn't too important if I wanted her to walk with me, but I could tell she needed to stay and let her go.

I made my way to my locker to get the things I needed for the rest of the day. I could see that our Vice Principal, Ms. Williams was patrolling the halls. This was unusual and I figured on my account. It did seem to work anyhow as people tended to leave me alone.

I pulled out the last few things I needed and closed my locker. I was of course shocked to see Megan standing right next to me.

"Hey!" she said, "I didn't mean to startle you."

I caught my breath and let out a strained laugh to lighten the air. "No worries. We talked at Ryan's Halloween party right?" I knew full well we had, I was simply trying to make the situation less clumsy.

"Yup," she replied with a smile.

"You offered to talk sometime... Would you be down to get some coffee this afternoon?" I asked. With her being trans, she was perhaps the only other person in the entire school who had been through something similar to me, and I was curious to pick her brain.

"I was actually going to ask you the same thing," she said.

"Perfect!" I replied, "How does Jitters sound?"

"Great, see you there!" she gave me a happy wave and walked off.

I gave myself a pat on the back for gaining a new friend.

The rest of the day went as expected. A bit of awkwardness as one of my teacher's hadn't gotten an updated roll, calling me Isaac. He quickly realized his mistake and corrected himself, but not before I heard a few snickers from the back of the class. There was also a weird point for me personally during fifth period. I had started to really zone out as it was the end of the day, but I found myself just starring at this guy. Then I realized that my gaze was centered around his tight shirt, and the muscles that it showed off. As soon as I realized I snapped myself out of it and did my best to pay attention to the lecture. I met up with the gang at lunch and then finished up classes around 3:30.

Jitters was real close to my house, so I decided to head home first and drop off my stuff. Then I got back on my bike and made my way to the coffee shop.

When I walked in, I could see Megan already there. She waved to me as I ordered a latte. The barista handed it to me and I made my way to the booth she was sitting in. I took a sip of my latte and felt the warmth instantly spread through my body.

"Was it a good first day back?" she asked me.

I nodded, "Yeah, I mean... I caught some looks and whispers, but overall it was pretty good."

She opened her eyes wide in agreement. "They'll go away after some time. You just have to wait for people to get bored of you."

Megan was slightly taller than me. She had pale skin, green eyes, and long blonde hair that reached her mid-back. She was naturally pretty but wore a lot of make-up to bring out all the feminine features in her face. The more we talked, the more I remembered her story. She had transitioned the summer between eighth grade and freshman year. Her older brother had been big in the football scene, so people hadn't messed with her too much. But I did seem to remember an incident with our good friend Sam the jackass.

"So how has everyone else been reacting? Your group seemed to take things well."

I smiled as I thought about Kai, Sadie, and Lily. "They've been the absolute best. Nobody else has really been all that annoying about it. My parents took it in stride, and to be honest, I think they're enjoying a little."

She laughed, "That's good! The second my mom found out, she took me into the bathroom and started giving me make-up tips."

"No way! My grandma wanted to do the same thing!" I said, probably louder than I had meant too.

"It was a nice gesture and all, but I already knew a hell of a lot on my own."

"Right!?" I was glad things were going so well.

"And of course my grandpa was all like, 'I feel like my grandson is dying...' and I wanted to say, dude. I'm right here."

"Uhhh, I went through the same thing with my cousins. Why is that so often people's default response? And it’s always while we are talking to them, in their faces, being alive!"

We both laughed and I almost fell out of my chair.

"And don't get me started on all the name change documents. One month in a paper here. Court appearance there."

"Ugh, don't remind me," I said, "I'm still in the thick of it."

She let out another small laugh. I could tell that she was holding onto some more questions and choosing them very deliberately.

"So what was it like? I mean, I don't mean to be forward, I've just never met anyone else like me before."

That struck me as a bit odd. I'd had Sarah, Rachael, and Jordan to help me through everything, not to mention fifty other guys if I ever needed to talk. That she'd never met anyone else... I suddenly felt the pressure of being the first person she could talk to.

"Well, it was slower for me than most. It took around two months before I was... well, as I am now."

She just nodded, looking at me in an almost scientific manner.

"So when did you feel the switch, mentally I mean?"

I hadn't thought about that before.

"It was such a slow shift honestly. There was no singular moment. My body was always a step ahead of my brain, but now that I think about it... I think I really did feel the switch not too soon before it was all said and done."

The questions that had at first been full of bonding, were quickly steering towards uncomfortable. She seemed to feel the shift in our conversation. We both started wrapping things up.

"So I don't know if you'd be interested, but we'd love to have you at our GSA meetings, Fridays after school."

She clarified when I gave her a confused look.

"It’s like gay people club."

More things clicked, as I remembered she was actually the president.

"I'll definitely think about it." I figured I'd give it a shot. As much to meet other people as to work through the way I'd been checking out that guy earlier.

"Thanks," she said, "Well it was nice to talk with you."

"Likewise," I responded.

"Well, see ya tomorrow I guess."

We shared an awkward hug and went our separate ways. All in all, I felt like she was much more invested in being friendly with me than I was with her. But she was nice enough, that I felt like it was something I would like to put effort into.