I think I made a huge mistake with The Plank as a character... This chapter will probably get a good edit later.

“Christiane, they’re about ready to come out,” Ryan said to a Christiane working on a weld for one of the ship’s weapons stuck deployed outside the ship.

Christiane jumped, ruining her weld, and swore, “It’s about time! Been waiting almost a week to hook up that last bit of power cabling!”

She’d been working on this weapon ever since they fixed the machine they found.

“You know we’re waiting just in case. We have no idea what will happen when we turn that thing on. You really need to stop bringing this up, over and over and over…”

Christiane put the welder on her tool clip, “Yeah, yeah. Don’t want to kill the new arrival.”

“Can you try to do something about your swearing? I don’t want them thinking they woke up in a ship full of degenerates,” Ryan felt he wouldn’t have to worry about their first arrival, but he wanted to make a good impression on the second.

Christiane tsked, “Yer startin’ to sound like Roty. Christiane don’t do this. Christiane blah blah blah. Can’t even tell what she’s saying half the time.”

“You know she’s right most of the time…”

“Yeah, yeah, always siding with her.”

Ryan wanted to choke Christiane, “You know, maybe I’ll let you stay out here for a while…”

Christiane tsked again, “Fine!”

Ryan thought about Roty’s request for the bronzed he-man with a small dick and to make him someone who liked women like Christiane, “Who knows, maybe the new arrival is someone that’ll like you.”

Christiane moved to the usual breach they used to get outside, “Hmph, I bet that b… Roty got you to find a goody goody.”

“Yeh get Christiane yet?” Roty asked from the birthing room.

She sat on an unused birthing tube and held a mirror and some clothes the bronze he-man could wear. She had hidden a second set for the winter woman hidden inside the tube she sat on.

“She’s on her way. I 'think’ I got her to promise to behave.”

Roty smirked, “Tell er she’s fine. Ah want to see how our boy reacts.”

“Oh, okay. We’ll have to make sure he leaves before the winter woman wakes up.”

Roty nodded, “Yeh.”

Ryan had just let Christiane into a hall with gravity and air, “Roty thinks you should just be yourself.”

Christiane took off her helmet just in time for Ryan to see her roll her eyes, “She’s got ya by the balls.”

“Hey, I’d listen to you more if you weren’t so… so… angry all the time.”

Christiane turned the corner to the hall with the birthing chamber, “If ya didn’t keep getting in the way, I wouldn’t be so angry all the time!”

“Jeez, calm down.”

Christiane tsked again but said nothing until she entered the birthing chamber, “I miss the party?”

Roty looked conflicted at Christiane’s arrival, but after she glanced at the He-Man’s chamber her lips curled into a cruel smile, “Ryan?”

Ryan didn’t need to check the tube, “Oh, right. Been ready for a few minutes. I can let them out whenever.”

Roty stood up and readied the clothes to put on he-man when he got out.

Christiane moved next to Roty, “Can’t ya at least let me have a look before you put some clothes on her?”

Roty looked like a roach was trying to climb on her, but she quickly replaced her look of disgust with a smile, “Oh, I guess.”

Ryan hated how Roty had led Christiane on the last three weeks that this would be a woman. Christiane still didn’t even know there were two people.

Maybe Christiane was right and he was letting Roty push him around too much? He was feeling like she was taking advantage of his guilt for his mistake with her body.

That could wait. He really, really wanted to see how things would play out between Christiane and he-man. Well, if Roty’s requested personality came through.

Ryan told the tube to drain and open.

The moment the tube opened, Christiane shot a furious look to Roty and to Ryan’s camera, “You!” She swore a couple times at Ryan, “You said it was gonna be a woman!”

Christiane nearly attacked Roty, but as soon as the latter readied her fighting stance, she backed off.

Ryan noticed the He-Man sit up, “Who’s yellin’!”

Christiane looked to the man, “I am!”

He-man look Christiane up and down, his eyes lingering on her chest and legs, “Don’t know where I am, but with such a fine broad standing in front of me…”

Christiane’s face turned from rage to horror and backed away, “I’m a dude! You’re not gonna lay a hand on me!”

He-Man grinned, “Ooh, I like that attitude! Listen babe, I don’t care if you’re a man down there. Not with a smokin' bod like that!”

Christiane ran out of the room and sent several curses at Roty and Ryan.

Ryan was half temped to not open the door for her, but he felt he should be a little nice to her.

Roty began laughing hysterically, “Did yeh see that Ryan? Did yeh?”

For the first time He-Man looked at Roty, “Plastic surgery much?”

Roty did her best to stop laughing, “It’s not…” she laughed, “plastic surgery.”

He-Man looked her up and down several times, “You sure? Sure looks like it to me.”

“Ryan…” Roty laughed, “can yeh…” and laughed again.

Ryan looked he-man up and down, his eyes reluctantly glancing at his crotch.

He-man looked exactly like Roty’s design. Small dick and all.

“Um… take a look at yourself, you’re not much better,” Ryan really wanted Roty to give him his clothes. It was one thing to look at a naked woman, but a man was a different matter.

Ryan horrified himself when he realized this was only the beginning of sausage time. Until now, he only had two attractive women to look at…

Just then, Christiane entered her room. Ryan had long turned the video and audio off to that room a long time ago so he imagined he would miss out on many colorful words.

Back in the birthing chamber, Roty held the mirror up for He-Man, and he looked at himself for the first time.

His first reaction was to flex, “There really is a god. I must have died and he gave me a body even better than my old one.”

He-Man moved from pose to pose.

Roty seemed conflicted on if she thought this was funny or horrific. At least until he noticed his crotch and started flapping his little buddy around, causing Roty to face palm and look away, though she stole some glances here and there.

He looked disappointed, “Guess god didn’t want to make me perfect. Still the same size.”

Great, he was a narcissist…

Ryan felt he should step in or he would pose there for hours, “Um, what’s your name? I’m Ryan. The one that left is Christiane.”

Roty barely glanced his way, “Ah’m Roty.”

He-man didn’t look away from the mirror, “Fred Plank, but you can call me The Plank!”

Roty started laughing again, “Tha’ name!”

The Plank didn’t seem to notice or care.

Ryan wanted, no, needed to move on, “Roty, can you give him the clothes? I… I don’t know how much more of this…”

Roty nodded and held the clothes out to The Plank, “Yeh can do that whatever it is yer doin’ in yer room.”

The clothes were a blue male version of what Christiane wore when she wasn’t in her space suit.

The Plank took one look at the clothes, “No thanks…”

Roty cut him off, “Ah’ll tell yeh where tha other girl’s room is, ah…” Roty laughed, “… The Plank.”

The Plank stopped posing and grabbed the clothes, “Deal!”

Roty gave The Plank directions to Christiane’s room while he put on his clothes.

Ryan closed the door behind The Plank after he left and pulled up a hologram so Roty could watch as he looked for Christiane, “Let’s wait until this is over before we wake up the winter woman.”

Roty nodded and watched the hologram closely.

The Plank nearly walked past Christiane’s room so Ryan stopped him, “Her room’s just to your right. I’ll make it so you can talk to her through the door.”

Ryan turned on the audio into Christiane’s room, but not out. He wanted to make sure The Plank distracted her first.

The Plank stepped up to Christiane’s door, “This is The Plank!”

Ryan turned on Christiane’s audio.

“Get lost! If ya come in here, I’ll toast ya with my welding torch. And what kind of name is that!?”

The Plank leaned up against the wall in one of those poses people used to make themselves look cool, “Come on, babe! The Plank can give you a good time.”

“Ryan! If ya don’t shove him out into space, I will!”

The Plank knocked on the door, “What’s wrong babe? We just met! I promise if you get to know me…”

Christiane swore, “Shut up! I don’t want nothin’ to do with you and your tiny dick! I’m only interested in chicks with giant chests!”

The Plank nodded, “I’ve got nothing against lesbians or trans people. Maybe if you give me some time with you…”

“Ryan! Let me out! I’m gonna drag him out the breach! I don’t care if he can help us!”

Roty stopped laughing, “Ryan. Let meh talk!”

Ryan knew there had to be a better way, “Ready.”

Roty breathed deep to calm herself, “Christiane, weh’ll get…” she snickered, " The Plank off of yeh if yeh promise ta behave from now on.”

“I knew it!” Christiane cursed at Roty several times.

The Plank knocked on the door, “Now, ladies, no need to fight over The Plank.”

“Shut up, Plank! Or whatever your name is.”

The Plank sighed, “THE Plank.”

Roty took another couple deep breaths to calm herself, “Yeh’re only making this harder, Christiane. If yeh promise…”

“I’m not listenin’ to ya anymore! I’m tired of living under your rules!”

Ryan had had enough of this, “Roty, this isn’t working.”

Roty leaned on a birthing tube and sighed, “So yeh’re gonna let her have her way?”

Ryan turned off The Plank’s audio so he wouldn’t interrupt.

“Christiane, I’m sorry,” Ryan was mad at himself. He knew this probably would happen when he figured out what Roty was planning and shouldn’t have gone along with it.

“You’re sorry?! I don’t care! I’m tired of being on this ship! Tired of that Roty acting like she’s the boss! Tired of eating the same thing every day!”

“Listen, I know we didn’t start off good, and it’s true I’ve done some stupid things.”

“You just noticed!?”

“At least give me another chance, at least until we find someplace to drop you off. I don’t want any of us to die and I’m tired of fighting like this all the time.”

Ryan turned on the camera to Christiane’s room. It was cleaner than he expected it to be.

Christiane was leaning against the door, and judging by the blood on her fists and the wall, she’d been punching it. She was also crying, “Ryan, I… let’s make a deal.”

Ryan wasn’t sure he’d want to make a deal with someone like Christiane, “…what kind of deal?”

Christiane looked up, “I’ll try to hold my temper if ya let me rename ya. Ryan‘s a stupid name for a ship. I want to be in charge of shooting things too. Maybe stop listening to Roty so much.”

Roty jumped in, “I like tha’ idea, but not the weapons or tha thing about meh.”

Ryan did not want Christiane naming him. He’d end up with a name like Doom Bringer or Slasher, “What name? Roty has to like it too.” Then to Roty only, “If she gets out of control with the weapons, I can turn them off.”

Roty sighed and shrugged.

Back in Christiane’s room, Ryan saw her scratch her cheek, “Uh, give me some time…”

Ryan sighed over every speaker on the ship, even the areas with no air, “Just make sure it isn’t something stupid.”

Christiane smiled, “Fine. Now can ya do something with the meat outside my door?”

Ryan placed the video feed of The Plank in front of Roty and moved it when she looked away, “You designed him, you take care of him.”

Roty’s smiled disappeared, “Yeh, mehbeh Ah should have done better with the personality.”

Roty left the room and took her time going to Christiane’s room.

Ryan turned on The Plank’s audio again, only to hear he hadn’t stopped talking to the door.

Roty stopped next to The Plank. She tilted her head back and groaned.

Roty popped her neck, put on a smile, and looked at The Plank, “Listen, mahbeh yeh should give er some time. Yeh’ve just met.”

The Plank turned to Roty, “Plastic, don’t get between a man and his girl.”

Roty’s face twitched, “Plastic?”

The Plank crossed his arms and looked at Roty like she was a cheap toy, “You should get your money back from your plastic doc.”

Roty’s smile twitched again and gestured to the room next to Christiane’s, “Ah’ll do tha’. Now, Ah’ll show yeh to yehr room and get yeh some food.”

The Plank brushed Roty off, “Don’t tell me what to do. This is between me and my girl.”

Roty put her hand on her hips and scowled, “She’s not yehr girl. If yeh don’t leave er alone Ah’ll throw yeh off the ship.”

The Plank looked around, “Why would I want to stay in this trash heap?” He turned back to Christiane’s door, “Come on, babe! The Plank will get you out of this dump!”

Christiane turned towards her door, “Ryan, let me out. I think I can help.”

Ryan hadn’t realized he’d turned the audio for The Plank on in her room too, “Yeah, this guy can’t take a hint.”

Ryan opened the door.

Christiane put a terrible looking fake smile on her face when she saw The Plank, “Sorry! I was… uh… getting ready for our date!”

Christiane’s acting was terrible.

The Plank smiled, “I know the perfect place to go.” He looked around the hallway, “Where’s this place?”

Roty sighed, “Yeh just realized?”

Christiane reached for The Plank’s arm, the disgust mixing with her fake smile, and grabbed his left elbow, “I’ll take ya outside,” she glanced at Roty, “it’s not far.”

Roty seemed to understand Christiane’s look and nodded.

Christiane led The Plank to the nearest blast door, “Exit’s just on the other side. Wait here while I try to open it.”

The Plank studied the blast door for a second, but ended up turning and staring at Christiane’s butt as she walked away.

Christiane stopped just past where the next blast door was, “Ryan, close the door, will ya?”

Ryan knew what she was up to, “I’m not killing him.”

Christiane crossed her arms, “We don’t need to kill him, just scare him a little.”

Ryan switched his audio to Roty, who was watching from a distance, “Go get his space suit. Maybe a trip outside will do something.”

Roty shrugged, “Yeh, sure.”

Ryan switched back to Christiane, “Roty’s gonna get his space suit. I want you to take him outside.”

Christiane shook her head, “Can ya close the blast door? He’s lookin’ like he’s gettin’ bored.”

Ryan felt bad about shutting the blast door on The Plank, but he felt it was more important to keep Christiane calm, “Done.”

The blast door closed.

The Plank looked startled when the blast door closed and walked to it, “Hey! Wat’cha doin’?”

Ryan didn’t want to, but he felt he should still be nice to The Plank considering it was his fault he was here, “They’re getting you a space suit. We’re, uh, not on the Earth anymore.”

The Plank looked around, “Who’s talkin’? Where are you? Are you the angel or somethin’ that brought me here?”

“I’m not an angel, but I am the one that brought you here.”

The Plank looked at the ceiling, “You hidin’ in another room?”

“No. You’re inside me. I’m the ship you’re on.”

The Plank got a disgusted look on his face, “You ate me?”

“No. I didn’t eat you. I… that tube you woke up in made your body.”

The Plank shook his head, “Whatever, bring that… that… uh… what’s her name back.”

The Plank didn’t mention plastic so, “Christiane went to get her helmet. Once Roty gets here with your space suit, you two can go on that date you wanted. Just… wait there.”

The Plank looked irritated but didn’t have to wait long.

Ryan already had clothing and suits ready for their two guests, so all Roty needed to do was pick up The Plank’s space suit from the tool room. Christiane’s already picked up her helmet from her room and was back at the blast door.

Ryan noticed something in Christiane’s room since the last time he’d checked in there a few days ago, “Christiane, what’s that thing you built in your room?”

Ryan zoomed in on the thing. There were three parts. The largest had three sections, a large cylinder on the bottom that connected to a smaller cylinder on the top by a shorter piece. A pipe connected the top to a small container that had a plug at the base. A second pipe went out the top on the opposite side as the first pipe and connected to a third container slightly bigger than the first, making a corkscrew as it went inside the topless container.

Christiane grinned, “That’s my moonshine still. Tryin’ to see if I can make that paste you call food into something with a little more kick, if ya know what I mean.”

Ryan only saw terrible things coming from this, “Just… just stay away from anything important if you get drunk. I mean, last time you got drunk you died.”

Christiane shrugged, “I don’t remember dyin'. I’ll be fine.”

Ryan guessed he could lock her in her room.

Roty rounded the corner and stopped next to the blast door, “Open it.”

Ryan opened the blast door.

Roty gave Christiane a smile that reeked of smugness, “Have fun on yehr date!”

Roty tossed the space suit to The Plank and backed away.

The Plank fumbled with the space suit and dropped the helmet, “What’s this.”

Christiane held up her helmet, “If ya want to go outside, you’re gonna want ta wear it.”

Christiane put on her helmet and backed away.

The Plank looked from Christiane to the space suit and shrugged, “Must be some kind of weird role play.”

Faster than Ryan expected, The Plank put on the space suit.

Ryan closed the blast door and sucked the air from the makeshift air lock. Something that only took seconds.

Christiane gestured for The Plank to follow, “Come on! You’ll love the view!”

Ryan opened two windows for Roty, one from Christiane’s camera and the other from The Planks, “This is gonna be good. Can’t wait for him to go weightless.”

Roty nodded, “Yeh, but Ah bet he’s gonna puke once he sees outside. That’s what Ah want ta see.”

Ryan remembered something, “Hey, why don’t you watch this in the birthing chamber? Once all the funny stuff is over, we can wake up the winter woman while they’re outside.”

Roty grinned, “Good thinking!”

The Plank reached an area with no gravity and flipped into the air, slowly spinning end over end until he drifted close enough to the ceiling to catch himself, “Whoa, what the…! How is this… what…”

Roty and Christiane laughed hysterically, though Ryan made sure The Plank couldn’t hear it.

By the time The Plank figured out how to move without gravity, Roty made it to the birthing chamber.

Christiane guided The Plank to the usual breach, “Here’s the exit. If you use the thrusters on your suit, you can fly home.”

The Plank looked through the breach, “Skipping the date and straight to my home? We can do it right here if you’re in a hurry.”

Christiane floated to the edge of the breach and held her hand out towards The Plank and attached her feet to the ceiling with her magnetic boots, “Are ya always this slow?”

The Plank grabbed Christiane’s hand.

As soon as he did, Christiane yanked his arm and sent him through the breach, “Piss off ya narcissist! Come back when ya learn to take a hint!”

The Plank hit the edge of the breach and bounced off to the outside.

Ryan watched as The Plank spun slowly away from him, “Christiane… You didn’t need to throw him out. Plank, use your thrusters. The controls are on your left wrist.”

The Plank stopped flailing and began pressing buttons, “It’s THE Plank!”

Ryan could have watched to make sure Plank made it back safely, but he had something else he wanted to do so turned off his speech to everyone but Roty, “He’ll be fine. Let’s wake up our winter woman.”

Roty looked away from the holographic image, “Yeh!”