Feng Xinya watched on in silence as the small platinum-haired boy kneeled on the ground, his tears leaking through the crevices between his fingers and trailing down his cheeks.

He wasn't going to lie to himself. Feng Xinya felt slight discomfort at the sight of the pained Xue Yang in front of him. The frail boy was always emotionless and empty. He knew it was due to the lack of memories--missing an essential part of himself.

But seeing him in his current state didn't bring him any pleasure like it should have--not in the sadistic sense, but due to having the boy finally remember his identity so that he could complete his first mission sooner.

Feng Xinya couldn't help but frown slightly.

Suddenly, Xue Yang let his hand drop and tilted his head upwards, looking up at the high ceiling above. His expression was blank as always, but the despair was completely embedded within his pale green eyes. Yet, a hint of ruthlessness almost imperceptibly flashed through them but Feng Xinya was able to catch it and raised a brow in feint interest.

With shallow breaths as he tried to compose himself, Xue Yang glanced at Feng Xinya from the corner of his eyes before chuckling slowly in self-derision.

"I've been wanting to tell you since the beginning," Xue Yang's lips curled upwards into a soft self-deprecating smile as his quiet voice sounded in the large library.

He sighed, tired, "You aren't the type to get close to others."

Feng Xinya didn't retract his gaze from Xue Yang's clear jade eyes.

Taking the man's silence as an affirmation, Xue Yang slowly continued with a small breath as he closed his eyes shielding them from Feng Xinya's sight and letting the residue tears fall,

"I'm not, you know. Pure. Haha, such a damning word that is," he scoffed, challenging Feng Xinya with his gaze, "I'm sullied. Tainted."

Yet your eyes remain so bright and clear.

They were unclouded, and in Feng Xinya's opinion the most beautiful pair of eyes he'd ever seen in his life. Even more so, now that the boy had regained his memories.

Xue Yang bit his lip in frustration at Feng Xinya's lack of response, but he knew. The man didn't believe an ounce of what he just said.

Resigned, Xue Yang muttered with a firm tone, "I'm human, too, you know. Full of desires, especially now that I know who I am."

He slowly pushed himself off of the floor, standing, without even a glance back he walked towards the elevator.

Before he reached the elevator, Feng Xinya's grip had already secured his thin wrist, keeping the smaller boy from leaving.

With his deep voice, Feng Xinya interrogated, "Who are you?"

And everything clicked as Xue Yang finally understood.

"You, are really heartless."

He reluctantly turned to meet Feng Xinya's ruthless gaze, it seemed as if nothing was capable of moving those eternally still eyes.

And what little tender feelings Xue Yang had for the other man, dissipated just as quickly if not even faster than they appeared.

Both men had quite substantial EQs. They knew they felt something if anything towards the other--albeit due to the perpetual lack thereof towards everything else. Those feelings were actually very weak and almost negligible to the point of merely being regarded as appreciation and slight interest.

But, Xue Yang was wrong. He didn't know that he was a large part of the reason Feng Xinya was so distressed earlier; the reason Feng Xinya felt the need to erase his own memory about this lifetime.

That tiny bit of emotion, was extremely deadly in his world.

And even though Feng Xinya had already decided to rid himself of the memories, it wouldn't change the way he treated the boy in front of him. Really, even though he felt something, it was too small for him to change his priorities.

The mission was of utmost importance. Everything else, would come later.

However, he felt that it was worth it, staying in this world to see how long those eyes he was so fatally attracted to could stay unaffected by the world around him. It's not like time would pass in his own world anyway.

Thus, he pushed down the ugly feeling in his chest and proceeded to ask Xue Yang about what he remembered.

Xue Yang only hesitated for a split second before smiling wryly and pulling Feng Xinya into the elevator along with him.

He had originally planned to leave and never come back, since he already remembered who he was. But as Feng Xinya insisted on getting answers he decided to just talk about it in his room on the off chance Ye Xia ventured around the staircase.

As for why they took the elevator to go down a single flight, blame it on the fact that they were simply nearer to the elevator than the stairs.

When they finally reached his room, Xue Yang dropped down onto his soft pushy bed listlessly, face first. Then he took the large body pillow and hugged it before beginning,

"You know the Xue family from A country."

It was more of a statement than a question, as who didn't know the Xue family? As A country was the top country in the world, it went without saying that the top family in A country was also the top family in the world.

Understanding dawned upon Feng Xinya, as he did suspect that Xue Yang was the allegedly deceased only son of the Xue family. Well, in more specific terms, the only legitimate son of the Xue family.

The Xue head wasn't a lustful man. Quite the contrary, actually. He was extremely faithful and it was actually through a ploy that he had committed the sin against his beloved wife that a mistress popped out from seemingly nowhere with a son no older than a few months old, four years after Xue Yang was born.

Madam Xue was distraught at the reality of her husband cheating on her even if it was practically him having been raped while he was drugged. He actually didn't hide it from her on the day it happened, but he was never able to find out who his partner was that night no matter what methods he tried.

So when that woman finally showed up on their doorstep with a child in her arms he was ready to go on a killing spree but he also knew that she alone would not have been able to hide from him. Both Xue mother and father decided to keep the mistress and her son within their home in order to draw out the one behind the scenes, but they could have never foreseen the outcome of their choice.

That year was also the year Xue Yang was reportedly killed in a tragic car accident.

Of course, the Xue couple despaired at the death of their beloved son and traced the truck driver--who died upon impact--back to his company and retaliated in full against both the deceased driver's entire family and the company for their son's death. Little did they know that the scheme ran much deeper and their son actually did not die but was sent to become a prostitute instead.

To make matters worse, the Xue madam couldn't give birth to another child no matter how hard they tried. As a resul,t they had no choice but to accept the illegitimate son.

With that single line from Xue Yang, it was enough for Feng Xinya to have grasped the entire situation. Remembering all of the names in the book that he'd laid out for Xue Yang, he was even able to discern who it was controlling everything from behind the scenes.

It was, without a doubt, Xue Yang's own aunt.

"I'm not dead, though."

Xue Yang laughed darkly, tone laced with disappointment and...malice.

Feng Xinya sat down on the large bed, making the area around him dip slightly. His warm palm lightly caressed the young boy's head, slowly ruffling the white blonde locks.

Xue Yang didn't need to look at Feng Xinya to know that the older man did not hold any feelings of pity for him. Which was good. He definitely did not want any pity from his savior, the only one he acknowledged yet despised at the same time.

Why did he have to make him remember? He could have continued to live ignorantly, even if he already knew the truth deep down. It was just, without the memories, he wouldn't have to face it.

"Why are you still here? You already know everything," Xue Yang mumbled, his voice muffled by the pillow in his arms.

The hand rubbing his head paused for less than a millisecond before Feng Xinya pinched a few strands between his forefinger and thumb and bent down to sniff at it, his eyes darkening slightly with a tinge of red beginning to swirls from its deepest depths at the alluring scent of ambrosia--a mixture of citrus and coconut.

Feeling the movement above, Xue Yang involuntarily froze as he let Feng Xinya indulge in the smell of his shampoo.

"I like you."

This abrupt statement not only made Xue Yang's eyes widen, but even Xiao shivered and wanted to cough blood.

What the hell! Xiao 囧ed.

Feng Xinya's stoic expression remained unmoved, but the bloody red storming in his golden eyes betrayed his inner feelings.

Xue Yang sat up and pulled away from him with a guarded look.

"Like this, we are the same," his deep voice sounded like a melody echoing throughout the enclosed room that was so silent that even their shallow breaths could be effortlessly heard.

While Feng Xinya felt that the previous Xue Yang was indeed attractive, his emptiness was intriguing yet at the same time off-putting.

Now that the boy was forced to face everything head on, he was even more pleasant to look at, to touch, to smell...and...

"You," Xue Yang exhaled, but before he could continue, Feng Xinya pinned him against the bed, both hands nailing his slender wrists to the area beside his head on the soft cushion.

Xue Yang's head spun as he tried to register the flow of events. Unfortunately for him, Feng Xinya didn't give him any time to resist before lowering his head and bringing their lips together as his hot and wet tongue grazed against Xue Yang's soft pink lips; his eyes darkened and fully shrouded in a deep, dark red haze.

To taste.

 

 

 

Seriously one of the hardest chapters for me to write in my short life of 20 years. *dies*