The motel only had seven cars in its lot, and none of them belonged to Ryan. The concrete was dusted in snow, and the few weeds that cracked the pavement didn’t have long to live before the real winter cold came. Part of Dani was happy that Ryan wasn’t there. It meant she wouldn’t have to confront him and that she wouldn’t have to find out if she was the reason he left. But of course, it still stoked her worries and left her unsatisfied. At the end of it all, she just wanted it to be done.

Did he find out that we were on our way? Does he want to avoid us that bad?

“This is the right place, yeah?” Simon asked as he stopped in an empty parking space. “Where’s his car?”

“It’s the place that Rachel said.” Dani wiped at her eyes which were still drying out from her talk with Simon. “But he isn’t here. Either he knew we were on the way, or we just have awful timing.”

Simon tilted his head back and sighed, slapping the top of the steering wheel. “Maybe he’s on his way home, then?” He sounded defeated, not hopeful.

“Maybe.”

Dani reached for her pocket to check her phone, only to find that it wasn’t there. She checked her other pocket, and the seat underneath her, only to finally spot it on the ground by her feet.

Must’ve slid off my lap after I read Simon the address…

She picked it up and brushed off the tiny specks of dirt that had gotten on it. It was then that she saw it. A notification, a text, from Ryan.

“Oh my God.” Her words were a rapid whisper. “He texted me.”

Simon looked over, intrigued.

Dani sat and stared at the little blip on her phone, wondering what could be inside. She knew she had to open it, and if she had seen it last night then she wouldn’t have hesitated, but now it frightened her. It was the same reason she had felt a touch of relief when Ryan’s car was missing. It meant she could avoid the hard part.

I already know what it’ll say. That he’s sorry, but he can’t be in a relationship with me. That he thinks I’m great, he definitely totally sees me as a woman, but he just can’t make it work. And what can I even say to that? I can’t make him like me. Whatever, it was nice while it lasted, may as well rip the band-aid off.

Dani hovered her thumb over it, the text sent only nine minutes ago. With a final sigh, she pressed down. It read:

I’m sorry for not saying anything and that I made you worry. I can explain more when I’m home. I’ll see you back at home before night, promise. Thank you for caring.

That was all.

“Is everything alright?’ Simon asked after a full minute of silence had passed.

Dani, who was unsure what she should be feeling, nodded. “I think? He’s okay. He said he’ll be home tonight, that’s it.”

“That’s all? No explanation?”

“He said he would say more in person…”

Dani’s lungs felt like a dozen weights had been lifted off of them. From the moment she had realized something was wrong, she had been afraid to fully let her guard down. But now, she knew Ryan was okay, and that he wasn’t upset with her. He even thanked her for her concern. She was still pissed at what she had been put through, but at the very least, things might end up okay. Her worst case scenarios hadn’t come to pass.

It was a bit self-centered to think he left because of me…

“Let’s go home,” Dani said. “I think we’ve done all we can.”

“He better have the perfect excuse,” Simon said as he put the car back into drive. “I swear.”

Dani giggled and reread Ryan’s text.

***

Ryan knew what he would find when he turned on his phone. Texts from Dani asking where he was, Simon getting upset at him, maybe even leaving an angry voicemail explaining how childish he was being. And most of that was right.

Dani had sent around ten messages after realizing he wasn’t responding, and Simon had sent a few as well. But neither of them were angry. They had asked if he was alright, if he needed help. They assured him that they wanted him home safely. Even Amy and Elliot had reached out to make sure he wasn’t in any trouble after finding out he was missing from Dani and Simon.

They really aren’t mad? They should be. They probably are, but…

Ryan looked over the heartfelt words Dani had sent him and realized that she cared more about him than about being angry. Something his father probably couldn’t even comprehend. It made him happier about the mental decision he had made.

I owe her so much after this. As many trips to the aquarium as she wants.

He smiled for the first time that day and sipped on another cup of water. Texting them back would be the right thing to do, he knew that, but it was late at night and he was too drunk to be cohesive.

First thing when I wake up… But the problem isn’t solved yet. I still have to talk to him before I can say this is over.

Ryan sluggishly marched to his bed and flopped onto it, letting his eyes and mind finally rest.

***

He awoke to someone in the room next door turning on the shower. The thin walls did nothing to muffle the creaking pipes and phlegmy throat clearing from his temporary neighbor.

Ryan clutched his head. The hangover could have been worse, and he was thankful for his past self’s awareness to guzzle water and seal up the remains of the vodka. He would have preferred to have a completely clear head for what he needed to do that day, but it would suffice.

I have to let Dani know I’m alright, and I have to talk with Dad. It’s time.

He clutched his phone and considered what he would say to both of them. Was a text enough? If he called Dani, he might end up stuck in a conversation he wasn’t quite ready to have. He would have to keep it brief with Dani until he spoke with his father.

And his father, what was the best course of action there? A phone call at least, but even then, if he wanted him to listen, truly listen to him, he would need to look him in the eyes.

It might be the last time we talk for a while… He wouldn’t just disown me right away, right? I mean, no, I guess the whole point is that I’d be disowning him. Or at least telling him that I don’t want him in my life if he’s going to act a certain way towards Dani, or Heather, or anyone really. Which, knowing him, may as well be disowning.

Another hack and cough from the poor soul next door pushed Ryan out of bed. He had to see his father.

The vodka bottle found its way to the tiny trash can in the bathroom; it was all he had brought.

He put on his coat and set his hand on the chilled doorknob.

He should be home now., which means this is it. Once I see him, I can’t back down. How pathetic would that be? No, I’ll drive straight there. Leave no room to change my mind.

Outside the wind was unforgivingly icy. His nose stung within seconds of stepping onto the cracked patio as he returned his key at the front desk before hopping into his car as reprieve.

Alright. Okay. Dad’s house. Today is the day. Right now.

He started his car and hoped that warming his face and hands would motivate him. While the engine heated up, he remembered his other task for the day. He pulled his phone from his pocket and started drafting a text to Dani.

Should I just say that I’m alive? No, I’ll say that I’ll be home today. Then they can all stop worrying about me, hopefully.

The words sat in the message box, the send button lit up and ready to go.

No, I should also thank her. I don’t think I would be able to do this if it wasn’t for her.

He amended his text and sent it without any further hesitation. A warmth lit in his chest, a sense of relief as he only had one thing left to do. Worried, yes, but determined even more so.

Ryan took a deep breath, and pulled out of the lot, headed straight for his father’s.