Ch 49

Pain. It radiates through me. As I lie on the floor with the toxins running through my system from the first cup that Lilly poured down my throat, all I can feel is pain. The room around me has long since grown dim and my vision failed. At first the pain had come only from my stomach but as it had worked its way into my bloodstream it had circulated throughout the rest of my body.

            I cannot describe the pain that I experienced during this procedure but for form’s sake, I must try. It felt like hot liquid spreading throughout my body which kept growing hotter until the pain blotted out all else. My body was all but paralyzed from the sensation and I was unable to do anything but lie on my back on the floor breathing in and out.

            With each breath I could feel every cell in my body dying and being reborn again and again. The poison in my system was killing me but the potion seemed to be regenerating me at an equal rate. The torment was excruciating, and I couldn’t even scream from the pain.

            It would be hard to say how long I lay there as well. For me it seemed like an eternity, but it could just as easily have only been minutes. After a long, long while the pain finally started to recede a bit. I kept waiting and after a while I was able to move again although the pain was still extreme.

            As I pushed myself up onto my elbows and pulled my eyes open, I saw Lilly turn to look at me from the bed where she was lounging casually. “Oh good, you are recovering. Would you like to move to the bed before starting the next round?”

            I was having trouble focusing on what she was saying. Did she say next round? There was absolutely no way that I was going through that again. Assassin job be damned. Silvan be damned. This whole damn life be damned, there is no way that I can survive that again without my mind being damaged.

            It seemed that Lilly was able to see my thoughts by the expressions on my face because as soon as I opened my mouth to tell her how I felt she began moving towards me quickly. “Another round?! What do you mean another round?! THAT WAS HELL! DON’T FUCK WITH MEUgh.. kak kek cof”

            She had come towards me and poured another potion into my waiting mouth while I was busy screaming at her. By the time I had stopped coughing and gasping to clear my airways I was already feeling the weakness and pain returning in full force. I tried to look at Lilly to at least glare at her before I lost my vision but couldn’t summon the strength.

            “There is no point trying to stop now. You have already done one and you can’t back out now. I have already performed crimes in order to teach you your trade, so I refuse to let you stop now.”

            As the world went back to red and black, I curled my fist into a ball and stuck my middle finger out. It was all I could manage.

            The pain went on and on. As soon as the pain was letting up Lilly would notice my movements and pour another potion down my throat. She didn’t even bother waiting for me to get up enough strength to argue again, simply poured potion after potion down my throat until I had consumed all seven of them.

            The last potion felt a little different in my body. This time in the deluge of pain and cell-death I felt something else. My cells were not regenerating perfectly anymore, now, with each cycle they were becoming a little bit different. They didn’t seem to be getting weaker per se, but it was still frightening to realize that you are changing at the cellular level.

            When it finally ended, I just lay there. I did not bother to try getting up or opening my eyes to look around. I also did not try to move. I simply waited for Lilly to notice that my breathing had become more even and pour another potion into me.

            After a minute when it did not come, I finally dared to open my eyes. The attic was empty, Lilly had left. On the table were seven empty cups and the sun was setting through the window. Fuck! I would need to hurry if I didn’t want to miss dinner again and I would have another fight tomorrow.

            I headed down the stairs and out the door. I was moving quickly trying not to miss dinner but my whole body still hurt. The soreness felt like I had overexerted every single muscle in my body through vigorous exercise. As I had not been feeling particularly sore lately since having all that physical labor at Silvan’s home it was a bit frustrating to feel like this again.

            When I got back to the arena, I was just in time to get a bit of bread and cheese from the goblin who eyed me curiously when I seemed to pop up out of nowhere. I should have been more careful and come in through the training room door for his benefit, but I did not have time if I wanted to eat.

            Laying back in the cot that I had claimed as my own while staying here I thought over today’s events. Lilly had forced me to go through something terrible. She had totally betrayed me in that sense. At the same time, I needed to consider her position in all of this. As she had stated she had already broken a number of laws in training me. The training of lockpicking and poisons to a slave notwithstanding she had performed crimes outside of just my teaching in order to just teach me.

            Considering that I was nothing but a slave, she and Gikats had come up with a plan to help me into a better situation for absolutely no return on my end. This is what most people will call a deal that is too good to be true. Should I now be suspicious of their motives? No. I need to trust them. I even need to forgive Lilly for making me suffer. If they cannot be trusted I may as well resign myself to living under Silvan until I die in the arena.

            Thinking thoughts like these I slowly drifted off to sleep.

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