Chapter 32 - Imperfectly Balanced

That was right when I made thoughts at Wes. Like…she got caught in the backwash of a mana dump or something. I had no idea but…I’d stopped my thought about Kenny. Was that not enough? Kenny still seemed to be reeling as well as he stood up and turned around a few times. Liz found my eyes through the others and watched.

It wasn’t a glare. Her eyes trembled and wobbled as she watched me, like watching a wild predator roaming mere feet away. I looked away from that fear and sought out Brian. His expression was calm and reserved, but he hugged his guitar close and kept his fingers off the strings. I held my arms and muttered, “I…umm…promised to meet up with some people. In a class. I forgot…Gotta go. Sorry…”

I didn’t put much into my wave as I left. I didn’t listen for their words. I just advanced through the blacktop and over the muddy expanse till I had found my way back to the roaming lunch crowds. It was already deep into the period. It had to be. Cody’s change had been complete, before I undid it. Ben’s had taken much of a period to get that far. I would definitely be late.

As I walked, I tossed my crumpled lunch tray. My hand found its way up to the side of my lips. I pretended it was a full, real kiss. Like my handful with Wes. It tingled, whether in my thoughts or reality, like the skin was a little too thin. But it wasn’t irritation. It was excitement.

How was I excited? From being kissed by a girl or being kissed by Cody? I clutched my stomach like it was an egg on the edge of a shelf about to tip over. My footsteps didn’t feel my own as I maneuvered through the throngs and past my English class. No one I knew.

The row continued all the way to the back of the school. If you took a right then you’d meet up with the last of the old buildings with a couple of medical and shop classes facing a fenced-off field with weeds higher than my eye.

Abandoned, wooden chicken coops leaned over and caved. They felt like relics of some lost world. The replacement farm buildings, tall and silver, sounded with echoing rooster calls even into the late afternoon.

But I didn’t need to go that far. I just needed to get to Summer’s history class. It was a little down from mine but easy to locate. Light rock music wafted from inside as people came and went through the open door. At that point in my life, I knew very little about music and I can’t remember the song, but it was probably something by Jimi Hendrix. 

That was Mr. Schwartz’s class. He was in the corner on his computer with his dark shades tilted up as he cracked a smile to a group of students clustered around. The walls exploded with faces and charts and photographs to the point you couldn’t see an ounce of the original surface. I made my way around a TV cart with its dusty VCR and found Summer and Natasha over in a corner laughing between themselves.

Summer called, “Kenzie! Awww!…You sooo should’ve come sooner. Schwartz was giving out stuff to anybody for questions right.”

She fished a mini teddy bear out of her bag and danced him around with a smile. It was definitely cute. I took a chair nearby and hid a sudden yawn with my hand. I sat with my back to the wall and my backpack as comfortably in my lap as possible. Summer leaned forward on her desk and asked, “Something up?”

Natasha put her arms behind her head and narrowed her eyes with a little yawn to follow mine. The music made it hard to think but I did my best.

“Just a lot to think about. My friend, Cody, kissed me…after I temporarily turned him into a girl…umm…” Of course, the music had to get really quiet right at the second part, so it was like I’d announced that to the entire room. I ducked my head down and really didn’t want to know if anyone was staring at me.

Natasha was the one to chime in with a hush but curious, “For real?!”

I gave a slight nod and a sigh. I was within the range of change for Summer but not Natasha. I leaned away and rubbed my neck as I answered, “Yeah. It was really weird…”

That earned a little chuckle from Natasha. She still had plenty of questions from before with my broad statement about my abilities and being some sort of superhero. I felt relief that Summer had told her to wait till I showed up to give answers. It did mean I had to cobble together the best of my explanations so far.

Even then, I knew Summer could keep secrets. Still, I knew there was really no way I could hide this in the long-run, especially when all my teachers seemed to know and I had to be shuffled into the corner to keep from leaking all over everyone.

This version of what was going on had to be brief. I mentioned wheat. I pointed out who had changed and around how long it had taken. I saved Wes’s situation for last.

Natasha’s eyes widened. “I know Wes…soooorta. Always uses big, weird words?”

I nodded. She slowly shook her head and muttered, “Wow. That’s kinda messed up. Is…he…doing okay?”

I dipped my head and held onto my words for a long breath before answering, “I destroyed him. He’s not supposed to be a girl and he’s not turning back…” Our words had withdrawn enough that I wasn’t too worried about others in the room hearing. Besides, the music and the other islands of conversation seemed enough to insulate us.

I had to skip over a lot of stuff as the clock on the wall pressed closer to the end of lunch. Wrapping her high forehead in her hands, Natasha commented, “Really sucks. I mean there are waaay waaaaay too many girls in this world already. I have a cousin who’s got issues with her body and she’s got horrible endo...umm…endometriosis…I think it’s called. It just really sucks. I wish I could give Wes a big hug and turn him back into the guy he’s supposed to be.” The pain was obvious on Natasha’s face and all I could do was nod.

It was a difficult transition from there to Cody as I urged, “It only happened then. I don’t know why. But I just got annoyed at him and wanted him to know how I felt like when we split up but I didn’t want any of that to actually happen to him.”

That felt like the wrong way to explain, but I’d said it. Natasha wore a sharp frown which reminded me of Liz. Summer folded her arms. I noticed they were a little softer than usual, but she hadn’t realized that yet. Swifter changes.

I added, “But this guy in the lunch group, Brian, he thought that maybe it’s because…I didn’t know what I can do with this thing and because now I know it won’t happen anymore and I’ll be able to undo it when I figure stuff out. Maybe I can even keep the leak or whatever from happening. Because I know now and I never want anything bad like what happened with Wes to ever happen again to anyone.”

My words had a scrambled edge of rambling, begging, and pleading. Summer patted me on the shoulder (despite her altered arms) strongly enough to rock me back and forth as she encouraged, “Definitely. It’ll work out. You just didn’t know your own power or whatever it is. So, what happened with this kiss?”

Natasha looked like she wanted to contribute something, but she shut her eyes and kept quiet. I looked to Summer and said, “Well, Cody…he was like ‘I’m man enough to be a girl’ and all that, so he sat right next to me when he and this guy Kenny played a… card game. So, he changed all through it and at the end he kinda…tickled Kenny and gave him a peck and me too.” I pressed the part near my lips where he/she had kissed me.

Summer raised her eyebrows and seemed to ponder that as she asked, “He ever flirt with you?”

To be honest, if he had I probably never would’ve noticed. Well, I would’ve noticed, and I probably would’ve had a hunch that was what he was doing, but I would’ve mentally vetoed the prospect. It worked the same way with me eerily-predicting (during occasional visits and times helping out) who at my parents’ workplaces were newly-pregnant but keeping it a secret. I knew people, but I couldn’t tell myself.

“Not as far as I knew…the kiss just kinda came out of nowhere. Do you think I should…make something of it or not?”

Leaning on her hand, Summer furrowed her brow and asked, “I don’t really know him except from what you’ve told me but maybe he was just trying to be silly?” She gave her best shrug. I turned slightly to Natasha, not expecting her to break her silence but still curious what she thought.

She brushed back her bright hair and eventually asked me, “Does this ability or whatever…do stuff to people’s minds?”

I couldn’t recall precisely how much I’d said to Summer before. I couldn’t ignore Heather, but she’d been sitting next to me when she acted weird. But nothing like that, nothing mental, had happened to Wes. I had a vague theory, but I put it out there.

“I dunno, but I think it’s like maybe people get drunk from the stuff…rather than it changes their minds. That seems to be temporary.”

Natasha gave a sharp, glum face as she remarked, “I’m not happy with people getting drunk, especially in my family. But I guess…I get what you mean…”

That was a terrible place to stop but the bell screeched right then. Natasha gave me a pleasant smile but not a natural one as we parted company. She was the first to head off because her next class was across campus. I hung out with Summer a little bit longer since she didn’t have to go anywhere. Seats were starting to fill up. We did our best not to talk about all that had happened. We just shot the breeze with random stuff I didn't bother to record.

But it helped.

Art by Alexis Rillera/Anirhapsodist