Chapter 47 – Rage Against the Mammaries

It felt like things chilled a little after that, in both a good and disappointing way. Kats was still friendly but not as much as she’d been. She was comfortably silly with Dunk. The two of them referenced jokes from some recent Chris Tucker movie I hadn’t seen.

Eventually, Kats left my side. She still kept close enough to feel the effects of my ability but, compared to how close she’d been, it felt lonely. Still, she was pleasant towards me, which was really all I could ask for.

I took the quiet time to remedy the work I hadn’t done on the handout. To distract myself from the banter, I thought of Lea hanging out beside me. I thought of her like she’d been last night. Smiling, energetic, and optimistic. I visualized that, despite whatever might come against her, she would have a second period with as much calm and as many smiles as her first.

I thought about her by name. Lea. It wasn’t a frantic and frenzied heartbeat. It was a long, deep breath. Leaaaaaaa…Leeeeaaaaaa…

Ben was finally just a table away. I flashed him a smile. He gave me a quick one and a nod before returning to explaining a concept for someone.

Kats had taken up talking about basketball with Dunk and the toughest rivals for Brookville High.

“Fucking North Langers! And their mascot is a tree. That’s so stupid!”

When it shifted to matters of music, it became like white noise. There were slight interruptions by the teacher to bring up bits that everyone was confused about, but his explanations didn't help much. I got the handout done well enough that I didn’t have to complete it for homework as a study guide.

While Ben hung out over by the door at the end of class, Cody came over to say hello. Kats explained she knew him from gym class, for which they both took line dancing.

I gave him a tense look. He gave me an undulation of his blond eyebrows before asking, “Sooo…are you using your sweet powers for good or evil over here?”

Kats leaned back and explained all the little changes, showing off her clear forehead with a flip of her hair.

“Sweeeet. I got boobs from it yesterday.”

Well, at least he’d left out the kiss part…for the moment.

The questions returned and Kathryn’s energy surged again. She focused on Cody.

“What was it like?”

Cody raised an eyebrow and peered skeptically at her. She corrected, “Kaaa...I mean…I knooow what boobs are like but the whole thing and the change. What was that like?”

Hopping up to sit on the counter, Cody pronounced, “Warm and woozy. And different. But I wouldn’t ever want to stay that way. I like my dudely bits very much and not having boobs.”

Dunk dropped an “Amen!” Cody added a simple, “Preach it” before continuing, “Soo…yeaaaah…”

Kats scooted up in her chair and asked, “But it turned out her ex is fine with being a girl and stuff?”

Another raised eyebrow from Cody.

“Zaa?...Uhhh…Just ask Kenzie.”

Squinting, Kats pointed out, “I did. That’s what she says.”

Cody wiggled his head and settled, “Well, there you go.”

Before Kats could persist, the dismissal bell finally blared. Bledsoe commanded the room for one last reminder about weekend homework and the quiz next week before letting everyone go.

While she still looked eager to get an answer for something I couldn’t even understand myself, she did quickly pack up all her stuff. She stared after me as I stood up and walked away a little. Slowly, her changes receded, and her hair and skin returned to how they’d been when I first sat down.

“Aww, fuck…” She grumbled and slouched in her chair. Dunk bent his head and said, “Just be glad you didn’t grow no fucking dick.”

Rolling her eyes, she said after me, “Monday…am so sitting next to you again and making it stick.”

I hefted my backpack on my shoulder and waited for the room to clear. With Kats over by the door, I offered Cody a quick “Thanks” without further explanation.

He smirked and remarked, “I can keep secrets. Some secrets. But not the funny stuff.”

As we were walking out, I noticed Ben standing over by Bledsoe. He looked over his shoulder at me but didn’t say anything. Once we were outside, I had to ask Cody, “So, what was the deal with you and Ben being late?”

“Project…stuffs and ssseeeecrets.”

I nodded and left it at that. I had other concerns. Such as what expression Lea would be carrying with her from her chemistry class. Whether Natalie would be stomping around and bitter.

Not knowing flipped my stomach with each step. Being around Cody, even for part of the trek, helped. He had a quick stride, but his words were even faster, noting all the perfect reasons why it was good to stay male.

“Faster in the bathroom. I can walk around topless…not that I would, but I can…without getting arrested. Most places. Beauty crap. And I like my voice. No…seriously.”

Some of his quips were really funny, but I forgot all the good ones. Most of his reasons were silly anyway or flawed, but I just liked listening to him. And then, all too quickly, he had to take the left path towards a different area of the 500s and I had to continue on straight. With a wave, I told him I’d see him at lunch.

He paused and informed me, “Actually, I have to take care of stuff…and things. So, I might not show up till right at the end…of lunch. Sorry.”

Nothing he could do about that.

I continued alone…well, not really because I was still being crushed by classmates dragging their feet across the cement on all sides. But I continued till I got to Chilton’s room. He was just locking up to go somewhere. I didn’t get a chance to say anything to him. A few early students were lingering around the ramp. I tried not to pay attention to their gazes. I sought out Lea but didn’t see her.

Deep breath. Focus on the multitude of positive things that could’ve and will happen. Of course, so often when I focus on one thing, the opposite comes true. So, perhaps it was better to dwell on every terrible thing that likely didn’t happen and then find relief in being wrong. I could be assured no random meteors crashed into her chemistry class.

Also, I was pretty sure the police hadn’t been called for anything or else the whole campus would be locked down. No one had been transformed into a massive, bloodthirsty amoeba. But there was one extra girl in that class who hadn’t been there when the week started.

Just those few days ago, Wes was holding his girlfriend’s hand. They’d shared a cuddle and a kiss. Their last?

Deep breath. Ignore the funky smell of too many people and so many bad deodorants.

Imagine being by the sea.

We often traveled along the coast over the summer. The feeling of shaking off the gritty, rough oppression of the desert for the breath of the ocean was like having everything finally cleansed. No matter how much you clean or wash something in the desert, it always feels like the next burst of wind has undone all your work.

My first solid, detailed memory was early August 1990, when we were around Morro Bay. We had a cramped but nice motel up a very steep road from the waterfront with a decent view of the big ass rock which made it such a tourist location.

I’d decided to tape together all the comics I’d brought with me for the trip...and destroy any collectible value they would ever have. These included the first few Rescue Rangers comics, a whole story arc in DuckTales, and some issues of Uncle $crooge. The DuckTales movie would be released soon, and we would eventually see it somewhere in Oregon later on that trip.

That day, however, when we turned on the TV, we learned that Iraq had just invaded Kuwait. Being eight, I got a little bit concerned before returning to reading and wondering if we would visit the screaming sea lions at the small aquarium on the edge of town.

Oh, for life to be so at ease as it’s supposed to be when you’re eight.  

Leaning back against the railing near the trash can (but not close enough to smell it), I stretched with a satisfying pop in my back. My backpack slipped through the railing and ‘thunked’ down on the sandpaper-like floor of the ramp.

I tried to slip myself through the opening to sit, but no position felt comfortable. Probably by design, to keep people from relaxing on it.

A few of my classmates hung around in little groups far away from me. They spoke to one another. I ceded any ego or paranoia that they were all talking about me behind the rumble of the crowds. It didn’t matter.

At a moment when I wasn’t paying attention to the streams of people from the classrooms to the east, Lea and Natalie finally emerged.

Natalie had her hands clenched at her sides and moved quickly, sidestepping the lolling, clotted crowds. Lea hustled behind her, clinging to her loaner backpack as she yelled, “Nats!”

Clenching my jaw, I wasn’t sure if that yell was intended as a plea for her to slow down or a warning for me.

“How fucking dare you..y-you…CUNT!”

It was strange to feel such raw and sharpened words hurled at me. Sure, mom said a lot of things, but it was more like a quick needle in the gut which hurt long after the strike. Natalie’s were like a flailing shiv in the air.

Lea’s cheeks were red and damp. She sniffled and stretched forward to get between the two of us. Natalie barred her with an arm.

I wanted to comfort Lea. I wanted to offer kind words. I wanted to say something but that would be later.

Her fists still clenched, Natalie brought her arms down at her side. She shook her head and ground her lips back and forth.

“…What the fuck do you have to say?” Her voice cracked. She stared at me for an answer.

And I answered with a question. “Why has Lea been crying?”

With widened eyes, she pressed closer and said, “Wes! His name is WES! What is this ‘Lea’ shit you’ve filled his head with?!”

Lea stared at her feet and gripped her backpack with both hands.

Natalie hadn’t eased up. She was still rigid, her eyes flaming with malice. We had a few extra looky-loos who’d stopped to stare.

Deep breath. Find some good words. I shook my head and asked, “Why are you doing this to someone you love?”

She mouthed the word ‘love’ to herself and scowled. “How dare you…..you…YOU…destroyed him. You took the person I loved and you fucking killed him. You took away everything he was. You took his body. You took his name. You took his soul! For what?!”

Her words were loud enough I was sure just about every classroom in the vicinity could hear. Security in their little golf carts wouldn’t be far off. We had a heavy crowd yelling scattered cries of “bitch fight!”

She smacked her fists on the railing. My heart jogged in my ears.

I tried, “I’m sorry you’re hurting but don’t hurt others because of it.”

Natalie bared her teeth and shrieked, “Hypocrite! I’m telling everyone! You’re gonna be on the news and they’re gonna arrest you and put you in jail where you belong, so you can’t hurt ANY innocent people!”

I wore a stern, flat face and told her, “Do what you gotta.”

Art by Alexis Rillera/Anirhapsodist

Map of Brookville High (added to Glossary)