"Oh! Oh, sir! Here's your card!" she said, running up to me.

...

"Hm? What's this now?"

"This is for you!"

***
Oh! Sorry to interrupt my story but... I just noticed my voice had changed. I now sound like a girl. Actually, in fact, it now sounds just like the voice of this particular girl. I guess the transformation is nearing its completion. I mean, it makes sense. Everyone who truly belongs to a witch's realm is female. And now I am too. Makes sense my voice reflects that, at least for long enough for me to use it one last time.

Anyway, sorry about that. About the girl who just ran up to me in the story...
***

I turned the card over in my hands a few times. It had a picture of a large sewing needle with a thread connected to a dress in the card's background art. The back of the card just had a star-like blue pattern with three white circles connected by a line in the center.

"And one for me~" said the girl holding up a card of her own. She refused to let me see the front of it. She smiled and coyly held it in front of her mouth with both hands.

"Uhm. What's this all about?" I said, scratching my head. "Who are you?"

The girl took a deep breath and deposited the card into her jacket pocket. She was almost immediately familiar. A sense of déjà vu hung in the air. A short pale girl of Japanese descent with black hair in a bob cut. Her eyes were bright blue, which was unusual to see in Asians. She wore a blue hoodie which I could see had cat ears on the top of it, despite the hood being down. Black khaki shorts and simple white sneakers. She had a bright and beautiful smile. You might've already realized -- but yes, identical in form to the ghosts from that dream. In fact I had already unconsciously realized it even as I was struggling to remember her.

She gave a bright smile. "I'm Rin! The Witch of the Norn."

I blinked. What do you say to someone who comes up and introduces herself to you that way? I had some time before my next class so I guess I didn't mind the distraction.

"Umm..." I began. "My name is--"

Rin sharply held up her hand and shook her head. She looked back up at me and gave a soft but slightly sad smile. She shook her head and sighed.

"No! Stop! I don't need to know your false name. Knowing your true nature, I don't want to insult the real you."

I guess I should've found that insulting? I was bewildered more than anything. I wonder if I knew already on some level that she was right? That she represented something I didn't even know I was waiting to experience? Honestly that seems like a huge stretch, but I want to believe I did know. It's a comforting feeling. Is it okay if I say I knew it, whether or not I actually did? Then yes, I knew. And it's just as well she didn't let me give my name. After all I don't remember it now either, I don't even remember the pseudonym I gave you at the start.

Rin looked to the side and just muttered something to herself I barely heard, but I caught the tail end of - "... but too bad it's a dress."

I sighed.

"I'm going to get lunch. It's going to be at least an hour before my next class. I'll buy you something if you want."

Rin's eyes lit up and she gave an almost impossibly big smile. She practically bounced on her heels when she nodded. I smiled back at her. At the time I figured I was dealing with a girl from an occult club. You'd see them sometimes in the lounge reading tarot cards or the like. Some would accost strangers like this. I do remember that as a human I was pretty lonely and getting undivided attention from a cute girl like this was such a refreshing change of pace. Rin practically bounced after me like an eager puppy.

The cafeteria was pretty empty since this was towards the end of the day. The food here was actually pretty good and I did always look forward to eating here between classes. I went with a plate of BBQ wings while Rin picked out some vegan curry rice for herself. As we sat down, I looked across the table at Rin. She had pulled out an old-looking handheld gaming system and was punching at it. Her eyes had a look of almost absolute concentration. I forget if I was a gamer or not but I definitely didn't recognize the system. The sounds coming out of it definitely sounded retro, though. Rin held it up to her face like a hamster holding food, with her fingers just barely poking out of her sleeves. We sat in silence for a while. I liked to nibble at my wings and wipe my mouth with a napkin between each one. Rin meanwhile mostly left her curry alone. She was focused on her game but would occasionally look away to shove whole mouthfuls of food into her face at once like... well, once again, like a hamster. Then she'd pull the system close again, inches from her nose.

I almost let the familiar sense I knew this girl slip away. I would've for sure, if not for one fateful muttering of my own.

"... Nir." I had said under my breath while staring at the wall. I had remembered my dream/nightmare just then.

Rin's eyes went wide and she nearly dropped her gaming device into her own curry. Just barely preventing that accident she quietly set it next to her plate while not breaking her gaze from me. While she was pretty pale, at this point she was a match for her ghostly doppelgangers. She reflexively swallowed and nervously licked her lips.

"W... wha.. what did you say?" she asked in a hushed creaking voice.

The dream that had sat in my stomach and heart for years suddenly rose to the surface. I shared every detail of it; even the bizarre seventh-dimensional collection of video games. To, of course, the horrifying encounter at the end of the dream. I had even recalled every word Nir had said to me. As I described all this, Rin slowly looked down at her plate. Her lips twitched in a way that looked like she was about to cry.

"... Nir. Nir is why I don't wear dresses anymore. Her and Luxury. If it weren't for Nir, my dresses wouldn't see any use at all. So I guess I should be thankful for at least that, but..."

Rin closed her eyes, took a deep breath and then looked me in the eyes. They were a bit misty. She wiped away a tear on each eye.

"That was my world you visited. That's my realm. My personal universe. It's pretty rare for a dreamer to find their way there. I-I suspect it makes sense someone like you did, it's going to be your true home in the end. But to have Nir ruin the experience for you... I am so sorry. I really really am."

It was my turn to be stunned into silence. This was definitely not one of the weird occult girls. I suppose I could've thought it was still possible but there was a crackling energy to the air. A sort of energy you'd only have in the presence of a reality-bending entity like a witch. Yes, despite appearances, Rin is indeed one of those witches I prefaced this whole tale with. Something deep in your soul KNOWS when you're in the presence of one. You'd think I'd have been creeped out by her saying that realm was my true home, but the opposite was true. Remembering those endless cosmic vistas and utter peace in my heart made me yearn to return. Knowing I'd be allowed to stay there seemed too good to be true.

"Nir is... my 'shadow'. A projection of-- well it's complicated to have to explain witches to you. She isn't one. She can't really do what she did to you in that dream. I own that power, not her. A shadow is just a powerless reflection. She's who I'd be if I had-- I mean. If I--"

Rin shook her head and sighed once more. "I'm sorry. I can't talk about it anymore."

She didn't finish her curry. She simply stood up and threw the rest of it away and walked out of the cafeteria without so much as saying goodbye.

* * *

By the time I got to class I all but forgot the encounter. Strange thing to forget, right? But that's sort of the nature of witches. As humans we don't WANT to acknowledge their existence. It's much easier for them to be a dream. Or even a daydream that you misremembered. Even still I felt bad about how Rin seemed when she left. But I had by then turned my attention back to my studies. Or so my parents would hope. While details of my original life are rapidly leaving my consciousness as we speak, I still know my failings better than anything. Figures doesn't it? They're the most stubborn memories of all. Easy to form and never go away once they do. In my case, I'm not a very good student. Rather, I wasn't. I forget if I was wasting my parents' money or if I was on some kind of dangerous college loan. What I do know is I struggle constantly and have switched my major at least four times now.

I was just always at a loss for words when someone asks "who do you want to be when you grow up?". I know it's something I SHOULD have an answer to, but I've been searching for it for as long as I can remember. I always wanted to find a 'me' that would finally make everything comfortable again. That would cause people to relate to me, that would give me a future. For me to not be such a failure and loner. I think on some level I just wanted to find my way back to Rin's dimension. I wanted that dream again, despite the scary ending. Life is just full of so much... noise. And complication. A giant algebra equation to solve on both sides. Some people find math fun but I don't. It's a pain. Just tons of variables to melt down until you reach the perfect balanced equation. Why can't we just have the equation without all the legwork?
People tell me to just experience the moment. But what good is that if every moment is spent rushing to and fro to meet yet another need? Breathing in and out. Eating. Expelling the waste from eating. Sleeping and keeping track of how much you're sleeping. Life is just an unending treadmill of trying to fill holes that keep emptying themselves. And while I'm not suicidal, I definitely scare every counselor I talk to about this.

This would all be complicated enough without having to also navigate the world itself. Every object you see in this life is either "me" or "not me". Every thought has to come back to "me", inevitably, because of your neverending list of things that you must do to not die. And every "not me" you have to gauge and weigh in how it can help or hinder you in that neverending flow of deficiencies people call life. All "not me" objects and people exist to be consciously or unconsciously used to push back against the deficiencies. I know saying that makes me sound like an unapologetic sociopath. But please believe me, I wouldn't say it if I didn't hate things being this way. In fact, I kind of wish sometimes we could all share a consciousness. Make things better for each other, always, without putting too much thought into "not me". I wish we could all live for each other. That I could truly love unconditionally and be loved that way. Without fear, without cloying ever-encroaching emptiness. Just pure love and wholeness forever.

I guess, ever since I saw Rin's dimension in that dream... I realized that it was possible to be that truly free.

I had no idea at the time just how soon I'd be going back there.

***!!***
Author CW: This is Midnight Tea! I'm sorry to interrupt but these next few paragraphs might be upsetting to some readers. It involves sudden, graphic and violent death. Please feel perfectly free to skip this and go right to the next chapter. I chose the dramatic two lines at the end there to work as a perfectly natural ending so you wouldn't feel like you were missing out. You aren't!

Either way, thank you for reading The First Fitting! I appreciate your support more than you can know!
***!!***

Know what the other thing people don't tell you about life is? Besides that it's a neverending race to meet constantly draining needs? That it can end in an instant. Your hopes and dreams, reduced to crushed meat and bone. Because that's what happened to me.

Please don't blame Rin. She didn't cause it -- witches exist close to the veil. Only when someone is close to death can one directly experience being around one. But please believe me, she's not the type to kill.

But on the way home... well, it happened so fast it's hard to remember it. But at the same time it's the most vivid thing I'd ever seen. I can still remember my vision jolting up and down. I had tripped on an uneven bit of road. I can only remember flashes of what happened next. A rolling vision of brown from the dirt and glimpses of green from the trees above. It ended with my head hitting something hard and metal. Bit of wood scraped my neck as well. I heard a loud horn.

Train. Train was speeding toward me. I didn't even have time to process it. Another horn.

Stars. A crack. My vision was a flurry of stars. I practically tasted the steel of the train. I almost saw myself as my own teeth were split in half by the front of the train. My neck bent into a shape it was never meant to be in. My body ground into the track. The half-digested remains of the wings I ate earlier painting the stones under the railroad tracks along with the digestive juices coating them. I didn't feel any of it. I felt nothing. I just looked on.

Then it all went black. I felt a tug on a thread. Like I was being pulled away.

Elsewhere...

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Thanks to Irina for proofreading and editing!