Chapter 2 - Little sisters are a pain in the ass.

 

As the dazzling rays of sunlight blind my sight and strands of her hair slightly touch my elbows, it was a peaceful morning that was very befitting of spring. As I match my pace to hers, we silently walked on the way to the hospital which was not that far off from the bridge. We didn’t talk to each other while walking but the silence was strangely peaceful and comfortable. It made my stomach turn. I felt disgusted yet again.

 

As her eyes, her round amber eyes meet mine, I hurriedly face the other way. Not because of embarrassment but because of disgust. I cannot look at this girl in the eyes, in fact, now that I think about it, I can’t look at someone in the eyes anymore. I can’t even look myself in the mirror, let alone look at somebody else in the window to their soul, but maybe I’m just afraid that when someone looks at my eyes they’ll see nothing but the window to a wretched, suicidal and ugly human being. My eyes doesn’t deserve to get looked at. I wish that I had no eyes, because without them that wouldn’t have happened.

 

“You know Kuro-san, your eyes are gonna be wasted if you keep looking down like that. You have very pretty eyes you know. They’re very feminine, maybe even more so than mine!”

 

Hearing that almost made me physically recoil, she’s actually complimenting the eyes that have gazed on her for hours on straight imagining inhumane actions being done to her?

 

“What do you mean these dead fish eyes are more feminine than yours? Have you even looked at them properly? Just look at them and see where the femininity is.”

 

“Hehh are you sure about that? I’m pretty sure that your eyes were filled with resolve just a few seconds ago.”

 

“Resolve huh, I would say that realization is a better fit” I quietly muttered to myself.

 

“What did you say Kuro-san? I didn’t catch that.”

 

“It was nothing. More importantly, we’re here.”

 

“From the distance, I could see Haruno’s mom waving at us with a relieved look. I think she still remembers my face so I should probably avoid her for now.

 

“Thanks for leading me here Kuro-san! You should come and say hi to my mom while you’re here”

 

 Scared of exposing my face to her mom, I quietly turn around and waved my right hand to say goodbye. I don’t want to cause any trouble while I’m here so I’ll just quietly walk away.

While I was on the way home, I begin to realize the peaceful atmosphere around me. Birds chirping, children playing and cicadas hissing. It was a peaceful day, one that was perfect for an afternoon walk. I found myself calmed and relaxed by the beauty of the sakura trees as its petals fall into the river.

Upon reaching the doorstep to my home, I took my shoes off and was greeted by the sobs of my little sister. I think she read my letter. Not wanting to ruin her grieving, I said with a faint voice:

“I’m home.”

 

As my little sister realizes that I’m back, she wiped off her tears and hugged me.

 

“Idiot!!! What were you thinking?? Please don’t do that again!”

 

It was kinda relieving seeing my usually cold and ignorant little sister get worried about me. If she was like this every day I would’ve been a siscon my entire life.

My old man on the other hand was utterly relaxed and calm even though his son tried to kill himself moments earlier.

 

“I told you not to worry about him, he doesn’t have the balls to kill himself, but don’t do that again anymore Kuro okay? Don’t make me and your little sister worry about your ass anymore.”

 

“Yeah sorry about that I guess. Sorry too Kei for making you worry. I won’t do that again I promise.”

 

“Its fine its fine but to make up for it, I’m depositing all your savings to the family account okay?”

“Yeah sure whatever you say dad, I know that I won’t be able to say no either way, and stop clinging to me Kei you’re getting snot all over my shirt.”

 

As I push away my little sister who is desperately clinging onto me while wiping her snot on my shirt, I nonchalantly went to my room.

I lied down on the bed and slept. I didn’t know what else to do, so I slept. This day was a fucking mess, so I need to process what on earth happened.

While my mind wanders off to yonder, I felt my eyes getting tired, struggling to be open. I yawned and stretched my arms and eventually fell asleep. 

Before I had realized, a new day had come before me and i was on the way to school.

I have no friends nor do I have any plans to make some, its cos don’t think I deserve the warmth of friendship after doing what I did. That makes the walk to school from home pretty lonely, especially when seeing other people laughing and going on about stuff. I especially dislike seeing couples fawning over each other first thing in the morning, it makes me uncomfortable and disgusted.

 

~Classes Start~

 

“Everyone listen up! Today you all have a new classmate. Please come in Yuki-san.”

 

“Pleasure to meet you all, my name is Yuki, Haruno Yuki.”

 

Haruno? Is she her sister? Well she does certainly look like her.

Why is god making my life so complicated?

 

“Okay then Yuki, you can take a seat next to Kuro over there in the back.”

 

Oh for fucks sake. God must have a grudge on me or something.

While I sweat coldly because of the situation that god put me through, she sat in the vacant seat next to me and put down her bag.

 

“Good morning, Kuro-san! I look forward to being your seatmate for this year.”

 

“A-ah m-me too. Please be nice to me ahaha….”

 

As I nervously response to her cheerful greeting, classes start and I gradually start to calm down.

Eh? Is she even her sister in the first place? Am I just panicking over nothing?

As I try to regain my composure and begin thinking clearly again, I was waiting for the right chance to talk to her about her family in order to clarify my assumptions.

 

“H-hey, Haruno-san are you an only child?”        

That sounded like a weird question in my head but she didn’t take it like that, instead she responded happily.

“No, actually I have an older sister. She’s a year older than me and she’s not attending school for personal reasons.”

 

“E-eh is that so?”

Knowing that her “personal reason” was me, I was reminded again of what happened and felt an urge to vomit but thankfully, due to certain events, my puking threshold has increased and I could hold it in now.

 

“How about you Kuro-san? Do you have siblings as well?”

 

“Y-yes I have a little sister but she doesn’t pay much attention to me and she always glare at me like trash."

 

“Hehhh so what else do you like instead of getting glared on? What hobbies do you have?”

 

“Well I like normal stuff like anime and manga, and also I’m not an M. I didn’t even say I liked being glared at.”

 

“Hehhh so you’re an otaku huh? Well it definitely fits your character heehee.”

 

“My character? What do you mean?”

 

“You know, those people. The ones who have no friends and eat alone in the bathroom stalls during break time. The ones who scroll through their phones when it’s vacant time, pretending they have friends on social media when they're just browsing through reddit. Those people.”

 

Huh? Isn’t this her first day here? How does she know what I do on the daily? Eh?

 

“You’re an S aren’t you, Haruno-san?”

 

“Call me Yuki, and it's not because i like you or anything, I'm just more used to being called by my first name. I'm not a tsundere either so don't you dare assume stuff.

 

Shit, she isn’t denying that she’s an S. Why is she breaking the fourth wall? Goodbye my peaceful high school life, this is gonna be hell.

 

“HEY YOU TWO! SHUT YOUR MOUTHS AND GO OUTSIDE! STAY IN THE HALLWAY UNTIL THIS CLASS IS OVER!”

 

Oh crap, we were too loud. That was embarrassing.

 

“Hehe, sorry bout that kuro-san.”

As she apologizes with the most unapologetic expression ever, I just brush it off and took a seat in the hallway floor.

 

“Its fine, I was the one that talked to you in the first place. Let’s just talk here to pass the time.”

 

“Talk huh? Okay then Kuro-san, I have a question for you."

 

"What is it? Don't bother asking about the patch on my cheek, it's real. I'm not a chuunibyou."

 

"It's real?!?"

 

"Hey why are you so shocked about that?"

 

"Hehehe that wasn't what I was gonna ask in the first place."

 

"Alright alright what is it that you want to ask? For real this time?"

 

"Okay so Kuro-san, why did you try to kill yourself yesterday?"

 

Huh? What?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Authors notes : Thank you all for reading this little project of mine! Feedback and suggestions would be much appreciated!

Me and my friends are also making this a manga! We will post it on webtoon once we finish the oneshot chapter that we are working on. Thank you again and have a nice day! :)