The run back is mercifully short, allowing us to slink back into the recesses of our worn down home sooner than I would have expected, or even thought possible for that matter. As soon as we do so, I…just fall forward.

“Fox?!” 

Thank god Cat catches me. I do not want to know what it feels like to slam against a wood floor snout first.

“I’m…I’m fine…I swear, I’m…fine…” I manage to mumble as I pull myself up onto my feet, using Cat as a support. 

I feel shaky and…out of it. Out of touch with my own body, yet it fits like a glove. I can’t explain it, nor can I think clearly enough to process it any further. All that’s clear is I’m confused. I’m different. I’m scared. Clinging to Cat tighter, I wrap my arms around them as my face scrunches up into a sniffle. 

“...I’m not fine… I’m scared, Cat… I don’t understand anything that’s happening…”

Once again I try to reinforce the dam, but as my new tail sways behind me and then wraps around Cat, I can’t. It all comes pouring out, sobbing in this new voice of mine, claws gripping Cat’s fur. They get on their knees so that our heads meet, hugging me in return, along with their tail. 

“Shhhh, it’s okay Fox… It’ll be okay…”

They hold me. On and on, I cry, and Cat continues to hold me. Everything feels wrong, yet so right at the same time. I don’t know how to interpret it, I’m so scared, yet I feel so light and breezy. 

“It’s too much…”

The feeling of Cat stroking down my hair and down to my back at the very least eases some of the fear. They stop to pull back and look at me. 

“It’s a lot, I know. C’mon, let's get to bed. We need some well earned rest, and then we can talk about it, okay?” 

With a pat on my back they stand up and stretch their arms high, squeaking in a much higher pitch than before. Cat really is enjoying this, it looks like… They’re right, though. I’m not in the right state of mind to process all of this, so I nod to them, our tails unwrapping themselves from the others’ back. Unclipping and placing our tool belts on the counter, I only just notice our stealth gear. It’s changed minutely here and there to accommodate these new bodies, but besides that they’re the same. At the very least we have that…

“Good night, Cat…” I say, my voice dejected and tired.

“G’night Fox!” In contrast, Cat’s is light and cheerful, with the same softness they held before.

I think I envy it.

Closing my door behind me (and making sure this giant tail doesn’t get in the way), I begin to remove my gear and place it in its usual spot. We’ll definitely need to get our clothes washed sometime…

Once I’ve returned to the nude, the moon’s waning light catches my eye, and I turn to the window. All I catch is my own reflection, however. I can’t look past it, not to the moon, not to the city skyline. My reflection takes all of my attention. It’s not the same as before, where I would avoid looking at myself. I can actually look and take in my new body. I may be some kind of fox-human-hybrid, but… No. Don’t think about it. My exhaustion is making it even harder to repress these thoughts than usual, which is all the more reason to push them down with a good night’s rest. I’m not ready to break the dam like this. I just stare at myself for a while before shaking my head, grabbing a shirt that’s now much too big from my drawer. It hangs all the way down to my thighs. Why do I like that? Ugh, again, not tonight. I forego the pants and slide under the covers, closing my eyes and awaiting whatever the next day has in store for me with dread.

 

…

 

Arms, clinging for dear life, holding onto something, something soft, something that should be comforting me, and yet…all I can do is shiver in fear. I look up to see I’m wrapped around my…my mother. 

“I can’t… I can’t…!”

Through my sobs, she just looks down and nods at me with a knowing smile. “That’s right. You can’t. Don’t fool yourself, ####, you’re only going to end up hurting yourself.”

Each and every word that echoes through this dark void around us stings like a fresh wound, even the name I can no longer hear. I know this feeling, I’ve been so numb to it for years. So why does it hurt so much now?!

“I can’t... ! I can’t do it!”

 

“Fox!”

Brightness envelops my eyes as they shoot open. I’m breathing heavily, but thankfully I’m not as panicked as the day before. I try to parse out what’s happening, but my view is obscured by whatever softness my arms are clinging to. I hear Cat breathe a sigh of relief from behind the consuming softness, only for their hand to pull it out of the way so they might look at my face. 

“Good, you’re out of there. You’ve really not been lucky with these nightmares, huh…”

The groan of a worn and tired soul escapes my body as I sit up next to Cat, letting go of…of…

“...No no no no NO--”

Cat is quick to wrap their arms around me, responding swift as ever to my rising panic.

“No, it was a dream, this can’t-- This can’t be real--!”

It’s a tail.

Not just any tail. My tail.

Briefly looking myself over, I see nothing else different from how I was before last night… Besides the giant fox tail. Thank god Cat doesn’t let go of me, I’m not sure what I might have done otherwise.

“Fox, it’s okay! Deep breaths… Relax…”

I do as they say, filling my lungs with air as I close my eyes, only for them to flutter back open upon exhaling. With my head hanging over Cat’s shoulder, I finally register something else.

“...You have one too…”

A light giggle fills my ears, one that feels so nice to hear. Despite the rest of their body looking how I’d expect, they have a long yellow cat tail snaking out from under their long top. 

“Yup. See? We’re in this together. There’s nothing to worry about.”

Cat finally draws back and smiles at me, standing up and stretching both their arms and their tail. It moves so naturally on them. It really looks like a natural extension of their body unlike this giant thing that feels glued onto me.

“It honestly feels really good! I feel really good, in fact.”

They’re taking this so in stride it’s inspiring almost. I can’t feel the same way, but it does relieve me to see my partner so happy. With a sigh, I stand up with them, taking in just how large this tail is. 

“How are we going to go out like this…?”

“Hmm?” Cat looks at me, genuinely confused. “What’s the matter? They’re just tails. I was about to suggest we go out for some fresh air, let ‘em swing around for a bit.”

All I can do is stare at them. “C… Cat… No one is going to respond well to seeing us with tails… We’re going to be even more ostracized than before…”

In return, they blink at me. “But it feels so natural… It feels right. Why should we deny ourselves this?”

“Maybe to you!” The words blurt out of my mouth before I catch myself and shake my head. “I’m-- I’m sorry… I’m really glad you’re enjoying this, but I still feel so wrong…”

 

The look of sadness on Cat’s face is heartrending. “Oh… I-I see, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have just assumed you’d feel the same as me. I guess you’re right in a way. I can at least hide this thing pretty easily under my pants. Though I wanted to try something different, it’s the safest option.”

I nod, looking at my own tail that holds itself above my head in its natural standing position. “Doesn’t seem like I’ll have the same luck, unfortunately.” I shake my head, yet Cat seems intrigued by my predicament, closing in and gently moving my tail-- “H-hey, careful…” 

They might be moving it as gently as they can, but it still feels so much. What an awful thing this is.

“Sorry, sorry! But… Here.”

Cat throws their hands to the side, gesturing to my window. I walk over and… Oh…

“Oh my god…”

I can practically feel Cat beaming a smile down at me from the side. A bit of red rises up my cheeks as I stare… The way my tail is wrapped around my neck like a scarf hides my jaw so perfectly. It’s so much easier to look at myself now--But I stop myself. No. Don’t get attached to this. 

“Thank you Cat. Hopefully I won’t have to do this for long. We should probably pay that Inkton a visit to see--”
“Fox, are you crazy? That lady tried to kill us in cold blood last night! There’s no point in going back, unless we really don’t value our lives that much.” They speak sternly with crossed arms, but their face shows concern more than anything else. 

A groan rumbles through my tail-scarf. “Yeah… Yeah alright. But we have to do something about this, whatever that may be.”

Cat brings their hand up to their chin, holding their elbow in their other hand. “Yombroila did say we would speak again soon. I’d say we just wait for that for now. She’s sure to have answers.”

Oh. Right. The goddess. “...Yeah that does sound like the safest course of action right now. Alright. Alright, out, out. I need to--”

Oh goddammit. I was so caught up in the tail fiasco, I’d forgotten I didn’t even put pants on last night. As if instinctively, my tail uncoils around my neck and instead does so around my hips, hiding anything that might have been on display. 

Cat just chuckles as they escort themselves out. “Okay, okay, I’m moving. I did have something else to tell you, but I’ll wait for you at the table for that.”

A simple nod to them, and they close the door behind them. Alright…

 

Thankfully my tail is mostly fluff so it’s not too noticeable from the back once I slide a shirt over it. Everything else works fine as well, that is, until I get to the pants. It’s unavoidable, but they’ll just have to hang lower for now, just below where my tail sprouts from. God this is so embarrassing. That’s that, though. I walk out of my room and see Cat munching on an apple. They take one last bite before placing it down as they see me enter. Their tail is nowhere to be seen, so I can assume it’s tucked into their pants. After slowly walking down the kitchen, I take a seat and look at Cat. They’re…so happy. Not just their body language either; they radiate this kind of positivity that I wish were infectious. Then I catch myself staring, as does Cat, who giggles at me. 

“S-so,” I start, “what did you want to talk about?”

They light up even more so somehow, clapping their hands together and beaming at me with sparkling eyes. “Okay! So, some years ago, I asked you to start using they/them for me, right?”

I nod.

“Well… To be honest, that was just a compromise I was making. I’m fine with those pronouns, but…for the longest time, I’ve…”

Dread and excitement overflow from my heart in anticipation of what they say next.

“...I’ve known I’m a girl. I’d like you to start using she/her with me.”

My gaze travels a mile away, straight through Cat. Everything she said is wonderful, that she’s able to come out to me like this after so long.

So why do I feel so…broken after hearing that?

“...Fox? I-is everything alright?” She leans forward against the table a bit, nerves threatening to take her despite her burst of happiness. No, I can’t let that happen.

“S-sorry! It’s just-- Wow! I’m… I’m really happy for you, Cat!” I stand up and walk over to her with a smile. It’s not a forced smile, I genuinely feel so happy for her, even if I’m wrestling with myself internally at the moment. “You seem so much happier since last night, and if being able to live as the girl you’ve always been is what does it, I’ll support you no matter what. C’mere, gal pal.” 

Opening my arms wide, I barely have a chance to lean down and hug her myself as she bolts up and gives me the warmest hug I’ve ever felt.

“Fox…! Oh, god, you do understand…!”

I do? I guess I do… Wanting to be your true self. That’s what last night was all about even if it didn’t feel so true to me. Or rather, I can’t help but doubt anything that happened to me last night was true. Still, maybe Cat understands me more than myself in this regard. I don’t lie to myself, but things get so muddled with doubt in my mind. I wish I could see what she sees.

It only dawns on me minutes later that we’ve been hugging this whole time in silence, Cat’s silent tears warm on her cheeks while her tail seems to have snuck its way out of her pants and sways to wrap around me too..

“...Oh yeah, don’t uhh…don’t people usually change their name when they do this kinda thing?” 

 

Cat pulls away, though her tail remains on me. Her eyes are wide in thought.

“Oh. Well… Sometimes. We kinda already did that back in the first grade though, I like the name Cat. It’s who I truly am.”

Oh. If there were anything that could get me to smile now, it’s that. And Cat follows suit, the both of us diving right back into our hug.

“Who you truly are, huh…”

“Yeah! Don’t you feel the same?”

...Do I? I was kind of having an identity crisis earlier, so… Who I truly am…

“...I’m not sure. Not to disappoint, I’ve just been trying to figure out what’s going on with me.” 

That’s a fat lie. Everything continues to be shoved down into the deepest pits of my soul without a second thought, with no chance for introspection. Still, Cat doesn’t need that right now. Right now she should be happy. And…well, it definitely feels that way. She seems to enjoy nuzzling against the tail around my neck.

“It’s okay, Fox, true selves and all that aren’t something you just know a lot of the time. I’ve had a lot of time to think on it, and if you need that too, I’ll be here to help you with it!”

Oof. Ohh. Don’t do it Cat. Don’t open the flood gates. Not just yet. I am so desperate to let it all out, but I don’t feel ready. As warm and inviting as Cat is, I just need a bit more time to let this all settle I think. 

“...Thanks, Cat. I’ll always keep you in mind.”
Finally she loosens her embrace and looks at me with a smile. I could have sworn she was about to kiss me with the sweet and tender face she makes at me, but really she just looks so pleased and happy. Definitely the better outcome considering I would probably faint if she actually did that. Wait, why did I just think that? Thankfully, Cat doesn’t give me any time to dwell on it.

“Actually… You don’t remember my last name, do you?” Cat mentions suddenly, placing a hand to her chin.

“Hmm? Oh, uhh, started with a ‘D’ or something, but honestly, no, I only really know you as Cat.”

“And I only know you as Fox! That’s besides the point though, I’m thinking…if I’m happy with my first name, why not give myself a last name?”

“Oh? What are you thinking?”

She stands there and thinks, hip in one hand, chin in the other. “Hmm… Oh! Oh, what about… Kitten?”

“Kitten? Ms. Kitten? Ms. Cat Kitten?”

She seems to enjoy it already, blushing and holding her hands in her cheeks. “Yes! Oh yes, that’s the one! I don’t care if it’s silly, I love it!”

I can only smile with her, hand on my hip and weight to one side. She’s so damn cute. If this is all it takes to keep us going, I’ll happily help Ms. Kitten here with it. And maybe she’ll help me… But that’s for another time.

“...Oh, are you comfortable with this outside of the two of us?”

“Hmm?” She hums, just breaking out of her happy trance, “Oh, uhh… I mean… Mmm… I’m sure the other villages besides Zee would be pretty bothered by it, but… I don’t want to live holding myself back any more. I’ll take what ire they have for me, my happiness is too important.”

Goddamn, she’s practically radiant with positivity. It’s inspiring, really… And hits way too close to home for me to want to think about any further. 

I smile and nod, “Well, Ms. Kitten, it’s time we head out for some fresh air then.”