Fox

About an hour has passed thus far, and I’m beginning to wonder just how complicated buying a hat must be. She has probably spent most of the time actually looking for the store. Hopefully it’s been a calm, uneventful afternoon for her at least, nobody bothering her so she can just enjoy being herself. As for myself, I’ve spent the last hour or so…uhh…going through Cat’s closet… Look, I’ve barely stolen more than a few rags to keep my back covered, but this girl? She’s got a whole damn wardrobe. I’m starting to wonder if she was keeping track of the stores we would raid from time to time and started picking from them once we got this place… Honestly, good on her. She really must have had this on her mind for a long time, so this must have helped. Although, holding them up to myself, I can only hope she didn’t feel as much…dysphoria I think she called it last night? Something like that. I’m feeling a lot of that right now, holding this outfit meant for, well, girls, and seeing them up against my blocky body. My face just doesn’t look right attached to these things… Plus, Cat is a lot more lithe than me, even if we’re about the same height, so there’s no way any of this would fit me, which just makes it hurt more really. 

I’ve never thought about any of this stuff before; about what I want to wear, how I want to be seen, how I see myself, how it makes me feel to think about things like this… There’s really no way I can just be a girl, not with a body like this. I’d just look like a creep. It hurts to think about. I’d love to be a girl honestly, with how pretty they are, the tight knit groups of friends (from what I can tell at least, Cat and I never interacted much with other people but they always looked like they were having a good time together), the clothing they get to wear is just better, there are so many reasons to want to be a girl. But that’s something any guy would want, right? 

I continue placing different clothes from Cat’s wardrobe over my body and groaning each time. I’ve always wanted to fit in with those girls, but I’m a guy, there’s no changing that. Cat’s always been a girl, whereas I’ve always been Fox, who isn’t a girl. My own words sting me like I’m playing the worst knife game in the world. This is exactly why I don’t like thinking about these things, yet here I am, ramming my head into this wall with reckless abandon, holding up girly clothing and hating every second I look and think about it. Why am I doing this? Am I just praying that there’s a single piece of clothing in here that can change my mind? It’s too much. With a defeated sigh, I fold everything back up (not that Cat did much of that before I started going through here) and place it all back before--

Knock knock. Knock-knock knock. Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock. THUNK.

That’s definitely the front door, and there’s definitely a very confused woodpecker in front of it. 

“Yoooo, Fox! It’s ya boy!”

Fuck. It’s my boy. 

“Zee…” I look upwards and my ears twitch in response. Shit. What am I supposed to do?! “G-gimme a minute, Zee!” 

I scramble around the house looking every which way, searching for something that won’t force me to dive under the covers like a cryptid in my own home. Nothing in the dining area, nothing in my room, nothing in Cat’s, surprisingly enough, but the bathroom--a towel! Thankfully my hair is long enough that I’ve needed to put it up in a towel before, all I can hope is that I don’t look as dumb as I feel with it up like that. 

“Alright, come in!”

The door SLAMS open with just Zee’s hand sticking through the frame, just in time for me to remember I have to hide my tail too. I swiftly snake it up the back of my shift and wrap it around my neck, and my worries of looking dumb are all but confirmed as my boy struts in and snorts at me. I put my hands on my hips and blow the tip of my tail away from my face with an unamused face.

“Pfff, hehehahaha!! Cat said you were feeling under the weather, but I wasn’t expecting this level of a ‘me’ day!” They slap their knee with enough force to make me think they dislocated it, but they’re made of tougher stuff than that apparently. “Sorry, sorry. What’s up Fox! Besides the, uhh, towel and scarf combo? Isn’t that the same one I saw you wearing yesterday?”

Aw, dammit, she saw us yesterday. “Y-yes, it’s a gift from one of our friends in the city. Charming guy, really…” 

I’m technically not lying when I put it like that, but Zee seems keener than that, raising an eyebrow at me with a smirk. Or maybe they just do that.

“Give me their contact info sometime! I wanna commission them for a fursuit sometime.” 

Fursuit? I tilt my head, my confusion distracting me from the approaching Zee reaching for my scarf and running their fingers through its fur. 

“A-ah…” I turn my head away from them, the blush creeping across my face plain as day.

“Hot dog, it feels so authentic too! Y’know, I’d never thought about a fox tail scarf, but it looks cute on you!”
Dammit dammit dammit dammit. Curse these unexplored feelings, my heart is about to jump out of my throat. 

“Th-thanks, I’ll uhh… I’ll get in touch with them.” I push Zee’s hand away with a huff. “They only do commissions on a private basis. Not sure if they’d do the ‘fursuit’ you’re thinking of, whatever that is.”

Zee just laughs heartily in response, walking backwards and nearly falling over one of the dining room chairs before taking a seat in it. “You’re from the city, ain’tcha? I’m surprised you haven’t seen ‘em yourself, the conventions over there are huge!”

“Oh, this is like those things Cat mentions now and again. ‘Annie May’ conventions or whatever they’re called.” 

I watch as Zee just leans back and back and further back in their chair, nearly falling fully backwards before saving themselves with arms flailing.

“‘Annie May?!’ Oh, god, Fox you’re adorable!” Blushing. Embarrassed. Wh-what did I say wrong…? “Okay, okay, once I get a good amount of time off, we’re taking you to a convention, no buts, no nuts, no coconuts!”

“We? Have you and Cat been planning something like this already…?” 

They lean forward and point a finger gun at me. “No, but we should!”

“FETCH!!” 

My hand immediately reaches up as a projectile of some kind is hurled at me, wapping into my palm softly. My hat! I glance to the open door, my partner standing under the frame huffing and panting. Thanks, girl. I dash into the bathroom while Zee turns to greet Cat, giving me time to throw the towel off my head and replace it with the beanie she’d gotten me. It’s not the most comfortable, even with my ears pinning themselves down and back, but it’s soft so the constraint doesn’t feel too bad. A beanie though… I’m really going to be fitting into that burglar look now, aren’t I? Oh well. I shake my head and exit the bathroom almost as soon as I’d entered it.

“Huh? Oh hey, nice hat!” Zee says, smiling at me as Cat walks over to me with a sigh. “Welcome back, Cat! Looks like you found the shop then?”

She nods, sitting down at the dining table and calming herself down. Guess she knew Zee was on their way so she rushed back here as soon as she got the hat. Thanks, Cat.

“So, what’ve you two been up to while I’ve been gone?” She nearly reaches up and takes her hat off, and I can tell she desperately wants to let her tail loose. “I’m sure you both know what I’ve been up to anyways, aha…”

Running around like a mad cat on a mission? Yeah. 

“I was, uhh…organizing.” Walking over to the closet, I open it up and pull out a spare chair, since we rarely need any more than two. Sliding it over to the other two, I spin it around and sit on the backwards chair with my arms resting on its back. “You really ought to keep your wardrobe tidier, Cat.”

Cat, about to throw paws, stops and smiles as I give her a wink. 

“You know you’re a lot better with that stuff than I am. You keep the house clean, I’ll cook and look pretty.” She flips her hair backwards somewhat pompously before laughing at herself.

We all chuckle at her. “You’re certainly good at those things. Alright, alright, keep doing what you’re doing and I’ll take care of the cleaning.”

“Jeez, when did you two become a married couple of two decades?” Zee grins at us both mischievously, Cat chuckling nervously while I end up lowering my head to hide between my arms. “Never mind, now it’s more like high school crushes acting like a married couple--”

“Cut it out, would you?!” I blurt out, not in a hostile way, just angry sounding enough to get a rise out of Zee and Cat. “What have you been up to besides playing cupid, huh?”

Zee offers us a shrug and a smirk. “Hey, I don’t need any arrows when you’ve both set it up so perfectly for me already!” They lean back against their chair with one arm draped over its back. “I’ve been all about town, really. Spent the morning checking up on friends online, then I ran around town, I like to keep tabs on everybody, and that’s when I ran into Cat and suddenly, without any hiccups, learnt she’s a girl, from her own lips!”

I let a snort slip out, covering my mouth with a balled up fist. “Yeah, that sounds about right.” 

Cat just rolls her eyes as I play it out in my head. Zee always seems two steps ahead of everybody, and ten steps ahead of themselves, any number of things could have happened, and honestly, it’s more fun to leave it up in the air than ask for details.

“What do you two do around here, anyways? Folks who put you here sure didn’t leave you much to work with…” They frown, looking around at the shoddy shack.

“Yeah, it sucks here, but it’s better than the nothing we had in the city, not that that makes it much better,” I sigh, shaking my head. “We mainly bide our time until we’re called in for some work.”

“Oh!” Zee exclaims, leaning forward in their chair with their hands on their knees. “That’s right, you were gonna tell me about your work, right? Since you proooomised?”

Oh god that’s right. I look to Cat, barely concerned but concerned enough. Turning back to Zee, I see that smiling face, eager to learn about our criminal activity. They’ve known us for a few months now, we can trust them, right…? But I shake my head. 

“Yes, I promised, but…” Oh god no. They’re pouting. Goddammit, how can I say no now…? Maybe like… “...but we have a contract tonight where we’ll be meeting with our contractor. Once we’re off this job, we’ll let you in on the details, okay?”

They can tell that this is about as good as they’ll get, so they nod and lean back in their chair. “Alright, alright, this is serious business, I can tell. Man, you two have gotta loosen up.” Throwing their hands behind their head, they close their eyes, and after a moment of silence, open them to see deadpan expressions from the both of us. “...Right. Homeless to crappy home. Bit hard to relax, huh? Oh hey! Maybe you two can come over to my place some time!” 

We both sit up at the suggestion. We’ve never been to Zee’s place before. They live alone supposedly but they hardly act like it. We don’t even know where their house is, but with how odd of a character they are, we can only imagine what kind of things they have at their place.

“That doesn’t sound like too bad of an idea, to be honest.” The tip of my tail flicks as I say that, looking over to Cat with a tilted head.

“Yeah, I’m down! I haven’t touched a computer in ages, so it’d be nice to see what I’ve missed!” Cat’s stomach must have growled at the end of that sentence, because immediately after, she stands up and turns to the cooking area, getting to work on some lunch. “When would you be free, anyways? You’re usually pretty busy, ain’tcha?”

Zee nods and stands up, stretching a bit. “Yeah, but I haven’t had friends over in uhh…ever, so I don’t mind pulling some strings to get me some more time with y’all! I’ll probably have to head out now and start making the rounds to everyone expecting me tomorrow, but that means we can try it out tomorrow! How’zat sound?”

Cat turns back to look at me and I turn to look at her. Honestly, considering we don’t know what the hell we’re getting into tonight, a break in an actual house might be necessary. With a nod to each other, I look back to Zee while Cat gets back to food prep. 

“Yeah, sounds good to us. Come and get us, though, we don’t know where we’re going still.”

Zee smiles and sighs, shrugging. “You two are hopeless, I swear. It’s a good thing your pal Zee is always around! I’ll pick you two girls up tomorrow in the afternoon then! See ya later!”

I blink as our friend zips out the door. “...Girls?” 

I look to Cat, who’s already taken her hat off and snaked her tail out of her pants to swish around freely while she prepares us some sandwiches. I’m distracted enough that it takes me a moment to notice she’s in the full view of the door. The door Zee left open. Zee who can still see inside the house. Zee who can still see inside the house where my partner is standing with very obvious cat ears and a tail. I zip straight over and slam it shut, much to Cat’s surprise, the girl turning around and blinking at me. 

“Did something happen?”

“I can only hope not…”