Cat

 

There are two things I’ve always been good at: trivia and running. The former rarely ever comes up, other than to impress Fox or my dad in some way. I just don’t do enough...social things to really warrant the use of random bits of history and mythology info in any capacity, though I’m still happy that I know stuff like that, there’s not many other traits I can attribute to myself, besides...girly.

That is exactly why I’m putting the latter to use.

School...I really hate school. I hate that things just don’t make sense sometimes, I hate how horrifying it is to ask for help, I hate the other students with their judging gazes and prickly giggles. So I run from it. I can’t be me there. And it becomes too much when I try to be me even a little bit, only for...more laughter. More whispers, more shoving, more...everything. Everything that I hate about this place. Anywhere is better than here. Even the cold, slushy streets. Even the damp, icy alleyways. Somewhere dark, somewhere I can disappear from this place, from the piercing gazes of others. If I can just curl up here, hugging my legs, watching my heaving, hurting breath turn to a chilly mist before my eyes, and disappear.

Well...I suppose I couldn’t just disappear. Not without Fox. Even after these few years, it feels like they’re a darkness I can disappear in, weird as that may sound. When they’re around, it’s like the rest of the world is gone. It’s Fox’s world. The world I want to be a part of.

Yet here I am, stuck in this world. This god awful world. I’m so afraid. I’m so...angry. People scare me, the world scares me, and that makes this burning in my gut so...intense. I want to yell at them, scream at the top of my tiny lungs and throw it all against the wall! It...it hurts. I hate...hating things. But seeing people being so cruel, so uncaring, so...ugly… I want to see them know the pain they’re causing, I want them to feel my pain, to understand me in a way, to know me and burn like I and so many others have--

...Th-that’s not me, though, is it…? I don’t want it to be...I feel so awful, so disgusting feeling this way. If people knew these things I think, I’d be pegged as some brutish oaf, as if being tall for my age didn’t help with that already. That’s...that’s not me, it can’t be...I can’t even imagine how much worse it would feel if something ever happened to Fox. At least, when they’re around, people seem to distance themselves. It’s one of my favourite things. They really own the world around them. I want to be more like them. I want to be with them…

And just like the magical fox they are (kitsune, I think they’re called? They’d make a really cute kitsune…), they appear just as my thoughts linger on them, their voice ringing pleasantly through my ears, despite their worry.

“Cat? Babe, I’m here! I’m here, Cat!”

…

That’s not Fox.

I mean, it is Fox.

But it’s not a Fox I should know yet.

Rounding the corner, the owner of the deep, rich voice appears. A fox woman, not much taller than me, surprisingly...surprisingly? This is my girlfriend, this shouldn’t be...no, this isn’t how this is supposed to go--

“...Kitty, I’m so sorry,” she says, hugging her arms as she looks down at me with a sad, knowing look.

“Y-you don’t have to be--”

Wait, why am I...no, this doesn’t feel right. There aren’t any trees in this part of the city, let alone making up the entirety of the walls and buildings around us. It’s dark...and unknown. The world I once knew changes each time I look in a different direction, soundlessly, not even a breeze being heard as it moulds itself into the shape of a shadowy, snowy forest, just me and Fox. So why does it feel like someone else is watching me…?

“Come on, Cat. We’ll do this together. Like we always have.”

The fox woman extends a claw towards me, yet the closer it comes to me, the more she shakes, and struggles.

“N-no, I’m…I’m going to hurt you...I’m a terrible person, I-I don’t deserve you…!”

“C-Cat, please…! I’m here! I--”

Before she can complete another word the darkness of the woods deepens, almost consuming Fox before it begins pulling at her, dragging her away into the depths of the shadows, leaving me alone. The sight strikes me, and the tears begin immediately, being so helpless as the love of my life is taken from me again.

I’m alone.

 

Just like I wanted.

 

A sharp breath stabs me through the heart as I wake up, now sitting up and sweating, still panicking, still afraid. My heart beats like the exploding of bombs, my mind a warzone of fear and confusion.

But Fox is still in my arms.

This little plush fox...she tends to leave early, but...here she is. Her eyes open and gaze at my own, consumed with worry. But she’s here. She’s here…

“...Thank you, Fox… Thank you…”

The best dam I can muster allows only a slow stream of tears as I squeeze my partner tight and close. I even feel her plush tail wrap around my back, only making me want to hold her tighter. God, fucking dammit...I hate relying on her so much, but a nightmare like that only comes about in the most dire of dreamscapes.

With my hold on her eventually weakening, Fox pulls back a little and points her nose at my nightstand. The necklace!

“...Right. Things are gonna get better now.”

They have to.

They have to.

 

Today, Fox accompanies me as I get my day started, shaking herself out as she turns from plush to...well, just fox. It’s nicer than I’d imagine, warm even, like a little mini heater  creating a nice, cozy patch of warmth. It motivates me enough to actually make a meal out of breakfast-- Meal! Sue-Zee wanted to hang out at Jasper’s today! Okay. Okay! While the pancakes are sitting back in their pan like it’s the coziest hammock in the world (Rub it in while you can, you smug little fluffy delicacies, your syrupy fate has already been sealed!), I bring my hands up to my face, papping my cheeks with my paws and psyching myself up. Fox is here. Gonna see Sue-Zee. It’s gonna be a good day. It’s gonna be a good day!

Pancakes were definitely a great start. My mornings usually consist only of cereal or the laziest meal you can imagine, the kind that could barely even be considered a meal. So this? This is good. The experience is definitely enhanced seeing Fox dig in, the sweetest girl with the sweetest tooth making the most of her syrup drenched breakfast. Jeez, I know I mentioned a syrupy fate, but you’re drowning them, Fox! They’re already dead! Think of the cupcake kids!

She gives me a messy smile that oozes both syrup and “Fuck the cupcake kids, AND their sprinkles” in the most terrifyingly cheerful way possible.

God, I love her.

With our bellies full, and after helping Fox clean up (cute as she is like this, I can’t wait ‘til she can actually take care of her own sticky messes), I end up glancing out the window while I tidy up the kitchen. More accurately, I look at the window, into its reflection, seeing myself. Fuck, I really do look like shit. Maybe I should try freshening up, ‘specially if I’m gonna be hanging out with the duo for the first time in ages today. Returning to our room, Fox curiously trailing behind, I spend a bit of time brushing my hair, the pesky knots making it a not entirely pleasant experience, then moving around the bed and beginning to rummage through the nightstand on Fox’s side of our cozy cuddle zone. C’mon, I know I put them somewhere in...ah ha!

Just as Fox was about to poke her nose into the drawer, I slam it shut, bringing my hands up behind my head and fiddling with my hair. As much as it looks like Fox has some form of hair atop her little head in this state, she can’t exactly use hair ties as she is, thus, it falls upon me to make use of them. I look at my reflection with my new hairdo, throwing my twintails over each shoulder and smiling. This is kind of a cute look, not gonna lie. Wavy golden locks like this deserve to be treated well, after all, and that includes being put to good use! Turning around once I’m satisfied with my new look, I find Fox positively beaming, eyes sparkling as she stares up at me.

“Oh, c’mon, it’s not that different, is it?”

The little fox huffs at me, the same kind of sigh your dog gives you when you’ve denied their humble yet enthusiastic request for attention.

“Alright, alright, thank you, hun. I’m glad you like my twintails better than Jay’s.”

I think she tries to snort, but all that comes out is an amused little squeak. Cute.

Hair done up, time for clothes. Need something to balance the cuteness of the twintails, something cool or tough, something...butch. Weird applying that word to myself when I am decidedly not that, but hey, sometimes a girl wants to feel like they could crush people’s souls with nothing but a hard glance. Ugh. On second thought, I dunno if that’s the kind of energy I want considering my...problems. God, that dream really rattled me. I hate how angry I can be sometimes, I don’t want to be seen like some skull crushing monster, I just want to be...Cat. Oh!

Fox must have sensed something was up, because she surprises me by brushing up against my leg while I dig through my somewhat limited wardrobe. The gentle concern on her face washes over my heart like a calm wave, and suddenly those fears seem to matter less. Oh, they’re still there, but...at least Fox will always see me as Cat. Yeah, fuck it. Jean skirt, or jirt as some might say, because, surprisingly enough, my girly nuts do not like the idea of being crushed by regular old skinny jeans. Black t-shirt with some album art I don’t know plastered over it. Hey, it looked cool and I had a limited selection when I stole it! I’ve really got to go out and get more to work with sometime… Last but not least, however, is the brown leather jacket. Now, this thing is just cozy as hell, which is why I nabbed it, but it’s also pretty intense, what, with the fake fur around its collar and the way it’s just a bit too big on me. Yeah, it was even bigger before I transformed, but it’s that cozy. Used to wear it to bed on some cooler nights, cocooning myself in a bundle of warmth.

Looking over myself...hmm...one more thing. The necklace. Yeah, this works. The little fox, having hopped back up onto our bed, gives me a beaming smile that feels like a modest applause. Thank you! Thank you, I had to work through emotional problems that continue to torment me to get this to work! Not that many will be able to appreciate it ‘til after work. Shoot, I should probably get to that if I want to be on time to meet Sue-Zee! Alright, I give Fox a good petting before rushing out the door, my companion in tow as I gather my basket, my rod, and my chair.

“Alright, Fox, it’s a good morning, ‘cuz we’re goin’ fishin’!”

 

God, it’s so nice having company while I work for once. Before, I’d found peace in the quiet of being alone doing something so calming, but it’s honestly really nice doing this with Fox skating around the ice...literally, the sound of blades on ice following her as windy skates help her to propel herself across the frozen lake. At first I’d just found it cute, ‘til I realized she was actually helping, chasing the shadows ‘neath the ice towards my little fishing spot! Now she’s cute and helpful! Ain’t she perfect?

I’m actually able to fish out a sizable haul of fish in record time thanks to my little helper, so I decide to call it early, folding up my chair and hauling my basket up and making a break for home to drop off my stuff.

“C’mon, Fox, we’ve got bigger fish to fry!”

Ough. Mouth watering. Fish would be really nice right about now...Jasper should have me covered, though.

Even the walk through the woods feels better with Fox by my side. I know she’ll return to staying mostly out of sight once we’re out, but in the meantime seeing how she darts and spins around trees, knowing this forest like the back of her claw, it’s charming to say the least.

Up and away she goes once we’ve made it to the core of Aspen Town, hopping her way to the tops of the houses lining our path. She keeps a close eye on me as she struts with the swagger of a cat that just learned to dance. Well, a fox in this case. Ahh, I do miss dancing with her. Maybe I should ask Jasper for another dance sometime, now that she’s more comfortable with herself. Then again, it wouldn’t be the same without Fox’s music, I feel. No! No, Cat, stay positive. She’s right up there with you, everything is gonna be fine.

Better than fine, even. Something I hadn’t really noticed while in my stupor was the way folks would smile at me when I made deliveries around town, the fond ‘hellos’ and ‘goodbyes’ as we wave to one another. This is kinda nice, actually. You don’t see all that many new faces once you’ve been here for as long as I have (Jay has kept us informed on all the Ascended folk that intend to stay in the city, few as they are), but seeing the same folks always offering the same cheer with their new inventory definitely fills this place with life. Before, it felt like...well, work, a monotonous routine that felt so lifeless. Now though? Things feel a bit brighter, a bit clearer, as if to make the niceties of life in Aspen Town more noticeable. As my basket becomes nearly empty, I grasp at the star hanging from my neck and smile, looking up at the little fox smiling down at me from the roofs.

Thank you, Fox.

With work out of the way, however, it’s time to bite into the meat of the day: to Jasper’s! She’s really made the most of her new life here, putting together a little deli and dine with a cute little outdoor porch area to sit down and chow down with pals or otherwise. Approaching the quaint little building, I actually see her walking out with some empty bags, so I hail her before I lose the chance.

“Hey, Jasper!”

The jumpy girl jolts a little as I call out to her, turning and breathing a sigh of relief upon seeing me. There is a weak little smile on her face, framed nicely by her hair, which she’s been working on growing out since moving here. Though she’s not an Ascended, she certainly feels like she belongs among us, and just thinking about that makes my heart warm up a little, Aspen Town kindling the low ember inside me.

“Oh, Cat! G-good to see you…! It’s, uhm...it’s been some time, hasn’t it…?”

I grin sheepishly and rub the back of my head, shrugging with my empty basket in hand.

“Ehe, yeah, sorry ‘bout that. Been working through some stuff, but I’m starting to feel better. How’re ya doin’ yourself, ma’am?”

Watching her face light up is one of the many joys of having Jasper around.

“A-ah, I’ve been well! Glad to hear you’re starting to feel better...I’d fix you something myself if I weren’t already heading out, sorry about that..”

God, the way she shrinks is adorable. Walking closer, I give her a pat on the shoulder and a warm smile. Hmm. It’s odd, but the closer I get, the...lighter I feel. Err, brighter is probably a better word for it. It’s a hard feeling to describe, almost...magical, in a way. The same kind of magical as using, well, magic. Something to think about later, I suppose. For now, I’ve got a girl to melt.

“Nothin’ to be sorry for! We’ll just have to save that for another time, maybe we could sit down and catch up with one another!”

“I-I’d really like that…”

With that, I send her off, back on the business track as I take a seat at a recently snow-cleared table on Jasper’s porch, keeping an eye out for Sue-Zee. No better time to pull out my phone and catch up on some reading (bless the duo for hooking me up with one of these). I actually find myself with quite a bit more time to do so than I’d thought, waiting for half an hour before the sound of rollerskates on snow makes their presence known.

“Oh, shit, you’re here already! Hope we didn’t make you wait too long!”

“My own fault, really. Shoulda asked what your schedule is.”

Zee shrugs and grins widely, and I smile back. They’ve got a really nice smile, the both of them do, and I get to see Sue’s gentler lips curving upwards softly as they take a seat.

“I finished early anyways, so I’d be here around this time anyways, probably.”

“Good catch today…?”

A smirk finds its way onto my face.

“Good company, more like,” I say, quickly tilting my head in the direction of Fox on Jasper’s roof. 

Both Sue and Fox perk up as they notice one another, the smaller of them wagging their tail something fierce and smiling down at the waving duo.

“Gosh, hadn’t expected to see her so soon!” they say, turning back to me and resting their arms on the table as they lean forward. “Not exactly sure a double date could work with how she is now. Or, erm, how we are, even.”

…

“Date?”

 

There’s a look on their face that encapsulates a perfect storm of astonishment and...bewilderment?

“...Th...that’s what this is, right…? D-did we not, uhm...were we being vague…?”

My little kitty brain takes some time to process everything. They asked me if I wanted to catch some lunch sometime, but that...that couldn’t have been...I mean, not with me, right? Sue-Zee has always seemed way out of my league, and, sure, Fox is too, but we’ve been together our whole lives, so she’s, like, an exception? Wait wait wait, there was something they said...what was it…“Just you and us. If you’re comfortable with that” oh my fucking god Cat THEY ASKED YOU OUT. YOU DENSE MOTHER FUCKER.

“Uhm…! I-it doesn’t...have to be, if you’re not...good with that…”

I shake my head as I hold it in my hands, face ablaze with embarrassed glow as it slowly falls closer and closer to the table.

“I… Hoo, g...gimme a sec, I’m, uhh...kinda new to this???”

I try to sort my thoughts out as quickly as I can, as to not keep Sue in their anxious state for too long.

But fuck there’s a lot to sort through.

Do I like Sue-Zee? Hell yeah.

Do I like them both in that way? FUCK yeah I do.

Has my current girlfriend turned into a literal fox with incredibly limited input on whether our relationship is open or not? Sigh.

It’s been sometime, but we know that we both like Sue-Zee in that way, and I’ve even mentioned the possibility of a polycule before we were dating, but also, Fox and I had only been dating for three days before all hell, or rather, all heaven broke loose.

Eugh.

Really don’t like remembering a lot of what happened that night…

So I won’t!

Instead, look at the folks sitting in front of you, Cat. They look worried as all heck, and you know you’d much prefer to see them being their happy bubbly selves. You should probably say something, hmm?

“Uhm!” I blurt out, unfortunately making the duo jump in their seat in the process.

“I-is everything alright, Cat…?”

“Yeah! Yeah yeah yeah. Everything’s alright. Great even! I mean, I, uhm, I’ve always...liked you that way. For a while now. So it’s really nice to hear you see me in the same way…? I think is what I want to say? I mean, Fox can’t say it, but she feels the same way. Shoot. Maybe I should have let her say that herself. Anyways…!”

Sue lets out a sigh of relief, the tension in their body releasing and letting them slump down and melt over the table as I had myself.

“Fox too? Thank god, I was worried we’d be putting a gap between you by asking. We wanted to ask her too, it’s just...I might’ve gotten a bit impulsive asking you, cuz we’ve been super tired and worn out lately and it felt like we needed something good... B-but, uhm. Maybe we can all get together once she’s sorted her stuff out?”

“Whenever that is…” I let slip out, immediately noticing my mood faltering thinking about that kind of stuff and catching myself before I slip up any more. “Which, I’m sure will be sooner than later! That’s kinda what I’m worried about, though. I’d feel...wrong jumping into a new relationship while she can’t really offer any input herself. We never even got to talk about whether an open relationship is what we want! I mean, I’d be down, but this is all even more new to her especially after everything that’s happened to her. So, I’m gonna give you a ‘yes, if everything goes well’ on the whole dating thing. Cuz fuck, I’d love to, just…”

It’s at this point, I finally notice Zee had popped out and has been staring at me with this dumbfounded look for probably the whole time I’d been talking.

“...You two were dating???”

“YES???”

Seems even the duo has something to process now, though, I’m surprised it took them until now to figure this out? ‘Suppose that’s part of their charm though, I can’t help but snicker seeing them wrack their brain, putting the puzzle pieces together one after another.

“...Y’know, that makes a lot of sense, looking back.”

“We literally kissed in front of you.”

“We thought it was a friendship kiss!”

“What the god dang is a friendship kiss?!”

Sue appears to come back around now, the two of us giggling at one another at the ridiculousness of it all. God, Sue’s laugh is so soft and sweet, like bubbles in a spring breeze. I really do love these two, a whole lot. There’s just so much else going on at the moment too!

“Afternoon, you all,” a deep, husky voice greets us.

“Heya, you,” I offer the casually dressed server.

You can tell xe works here because xe’s a hulking wolf person. A wolf person with fur that shifts and moves like a starry night, but a wolf person all the same. I’ve met xem a few times over the course of visiting Jasper’s, and while she’s around, you can very clearly tell she’s got a type.

Xe also has a nametag. That’s probably a pretty strong indicator that xe works here.

“Everybody knows what they want?”

We all give xem a nod, not even needing to look at the menus as we hand them to the galactic wolf.

“Fish Fillet. As always.”

“We’ll have the...fish ‘n chips, actually.”

I give Sue-Zee a quick thumbs up and a wink as the server nods at us.

“Water will be out in a moment. Sit tight.”

With that out of the way, Sue-Zee and I look at each other for answers.

 

“So, basically a hard maybe then?”

“Yeah, basically.”

Zee grins wide and pumps their fist, seemingly taking this as a win.

“We’ll take it! Honestly, even just knowing we’re all pretty tightly knit in that sense makes us feel better. I’m already feeling super energized!”

A merry little cat laugh escapes me seeing Zee putting their gusto on display. For every bit of Sue’s gentler temperament I love, I adore Zee’s powerful energy and undying enthusiasm just as much. Okay, yeah, the more I think about it, the more I really want to share myself with these two, and that gives me all the more reason to keep moving forward until we can possibly make that a reality!

“Give me some of that energy, will ya? This cat’s been low on batteries for a while now.”

“Sh-should probably wait to confirm a relationship before we do that…”

“Sue!!”

That airy giggle fills the air once again, accentuating the quiet playfulness Sue has to them. Jokers, the lot of them.

“Nah, nah, that’s what the hugs are for! Emotional charging…!”

Zee clenches their fist like a shonen anime protagonist (yes I watched anime when I was younger. Yes I’m watching it again now that I have internet access. Bite me.), as if the energy I’d just mentioned were a physical, tangible thing they could harness. Honestly, the way these two are, I wouldn’t be surprised if that actually were the case...No human I’ve ever met can compete with the raw enigmatic energy Sue-Zee carries with them, like, sometimes they’ll just do things that don’t seem quite humanly possible, like getting around town as quickly and conveniently as they do, their tech skills, obviously, and their strength. Good lord, they have something going on inside of them that I’d love to know more about. Bad phrasing, point still stands.

“You could power a whole city with that energy, I’d imagine. Don’t hug me too much, you’ll make me too powerful! Please, stop praying for mittens! She can’t be stopped!”

Our light laughter bounces through the chilly air like it’s professionally ice skating, even as the server comes back with a glass of water for each of us before assuring us our meals would be out soon.

Alas, something else comes sooner than food can.

As Sue-Zee and I chat, I notice out of the corner of my eyes someone approaching rapidly and frantically.

“...Jasper?”

We all turn towards the lady heaving her breaths out of her like they’re bowling balls.

“C-Cat… Oh, Sue-Zee too, perfect…! You seem like the best...people to go to for stuff...like this…!”

I stand up and help Jasper get ahold of herself, the duo doing much the same with a concerned look on their face.

“Wh-what’s going on, Jasper? Deep breaths, take it easy…”

It takes a moment, but once the girl has composed herself, she straightens out her back and sighs.

“I...injured Ascended walked into town...a-and no one knows who they are…!”