CHAPTER 1 - TO END MY LIFE IN THE GENESIS GROVE

“I don’t want to be with a stupid fuck like you anymore.”

There’s nothing more beautiful than a warm cup of coffee on a Saturday morning, enjoying the sweet breeze of the early air in a cafe that has a glamorous view of the treetops to spend together with your girlfriend. Or so I thought. All was well and fine until she said those words above.

“W-What was that again?” I almost spit out my cappuccino through my nose.

“I want a breakup,” Clara said to me.

“Why?” I asked with my cracking voice.

“You’re like a drug to me.” 

I smiled and blinked fabulously fast to look cute. “Is it because I’m addicting?”

“No. Because being with you ruined my life.” Clara took a sip of her cup uncaringly.

“Why are you making a joke about this?” I cried out loud as I slammed my fist on the table. “Just how much does my love mean to you?”

“Your love is like writing with a broken pencil. Pointless, and a waste of time.”

Clara flicked her hair as she started to stand up and grab her bag. With one final cold stare, her eyes pierced my heart. 

“We’re through. I’m going abroad. Don’t chase me, don’t text me, don’t put heart emojis on my posts, don’t even appear in front of my face ever again.”

“W-Wait!” I begged as I grabbed her hand. “Stop! What are you doing!?”

“Obviously not you anymore.”

As soon as my savage girlfriend (Edit: Ex) dropped the bomb, she shrugged off my hand and walked away, leaving me here alone with a spilled coffee and a broken heart.

My heart aches and my hand trembles. The overflowing emotions surged to me as I cried like a little bitch. I’m pretty sure snot has already flowed out of my nose.

Why? Why? Why, oh Clara? Why did she break up with me? 

My life sucks. 

John Casterdyne is a complete loser, and it just happens that that person is me. Ever since I was born, I never excel at anything, never been gifted with anything, and had to work twice as hard just to attain anything. To be precise, my specialty is being not so special at all. Maybe that’s the reason why my girlfriend (Edit: Ex) left me.

I’m a second-year college student now, so I should be sucking it up and be done with it. Hey, there are other girls out there, right? There are plenty of fishes in the sea. I’m sure I’ll find a person who would love me. 

I started to look at my characteristics. I’m one hundred and sixty-nine centimeters tall, which is not really a good thing since most girls love tall guys. My weight is just fifty kilos, so my build is quite scrawny. That’s bad.

If there is the only weapon I have, it is my adorable babyface. Most people mistake me for a freshmen high school student, which means I look about six years younger than I look. It’s a gift for a nineteen-year-old dude like me.

Maybe I can charm girls with my intellect? Forget it. I’m a flunker. I have failed two of my accounting subjects, which guarantees my extension on my college life for one year. I’m even stuck to spend my summertime in summer classes. I’m a complete moron. 

I sniffed my clogging snot and wiped my tears. I made a series of deep breaths. Inhale. Exhale. Inhale. Exhale. I need to expel the bad shit away. 

This is just a break-up, one of the leading causes of suicide. I can fight it if I just kill myself.

My thoughts are foggy, so I need a peace of mind. The early cappuccino makes my heart ache worse, so I should stop drinking it. The cafe is starting to get crowded and stressful, so I decided to go out and ride my bike.

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I drove blindingly, not knowing where the wheels would get me. I’m still busy mesmerizing the thought of me and my girlfriend (Edit: Ex) together. All those moments of happiness are gone without a single trace.

I pedaled through the busy streets, to the suburbs, until I reached a familiar forest trail. I never paid any attention to where I am going until I realized that I’m in a completely secluded place.

“Genesis Grove.” That’s what the wooden gate towards the deepest part of the forest says. 

This is not a foreign place to me, because I used to bike here with my friends back when I was in high school. This is just the edge of the national park of our area which is often forgotten that only a few people know. 

I may also need this secret place to commit suicide.

It would be rude to just kill myself outright. I need to write a suicide note, but I forgot to bring a paper and a pen for me. All I have is my phone. I should probably post my suicidal note on social media to see how many people care for me.

With a heavy heart, I typed with my freezing fingers.

“I am tired of living i am exhausted from always feeling like a shitty person. My life is an endless cycle of disaster and i want to end it now i hope everyone misses me because this is my last day on earth i did my best but my best was not good enough.”

Almost immediately, my friends and followers commented. They all read like these:

“OMG what happened? To your grammar, I mean.”

“No periods, no commas! The fuck am I reading, it’s full of grammatical errors!” 

“I am tired of living (period or semicolon), I am exhausted from always feeling like a shitty person. Come on, John. That’s a run-on sentence!”

“Your I’s are not even capitalized! You know better than this, Mr. Casterdyne!”

“If your grammar is like this, then you should kill yourself!”

“Drown your fucking face in the water until you recall your grade school English, motherfucker!”

I should have known better than the internet is full of grammar nazis. Now I want to kill myself more!

I’m going to take that last advice as the key for my suicide. Since I’m already at the grove, I could probably see a small lake in which I could drown myself in. I remember that there's a calm body of water at the edge of this grove.

The gentle breeze that sways the tree canopies around made a relaxing whisper to my ear. I think the grove is calling me to go deeper…

"This is it. This is where my life ends."

As I ventured deeper, I found a lot of things that were neglected. There are altars in ruins all around the place. The flower gardens are so overgrown that they are already crawling all over the soil. Everything here is forgotten, just like me.

Sunlight peeks at the tree canopies as if it was lighting my way. This is like a picturesque event in fantasy games where I get to draw a legendary sword. Who am I kidding? Magic does not exist! I'm here to kill myself!

I finally reached the end of the path. And I was surprised by what I saw.

I found an infinitely beautiful view.

There was a lake with flowing waters; it shines from green, to red, and to light blue. Glowing stardusts slowly danced in the skies around the edge of the lake as if it is forming a slow tornado. There is also this small waterfall that supplies calm waters to the lake.

And…

At the center of a lake is an angel that came from the heavens. Her wet pinkish porcelain-white skin reflects the sunlight. Her long dark wavy hair softly sprinkled waters as she raised her head. Her exquisite figure gave definition to the word gorgeousness itself. Her perfectly round chunky breast, her slender waist, her bountiful hips, and her long flawless legs would definitely make any man have a nosebleed. 

She is so beautiful, but nothing beats the feeling I got when she finally opened her eyes. It was gold, bright twinkling gold, like the most precious thing in existence. Her irises locked unto mine for an eternity which made me fazed and transport me to a fantasy world.

I was only awakened from reality when the woman started to shout.

“YOU PERVERTED DONKEY!”