CHAPTER 18 - DRAG ME TO HELL

Lizzy is acting weird. Well, she is already weird maybe because of the cultural barriers we had. A flunker college loser like me can never be comparable with a magical runaway princess like her. She cooks using construction equipment and she’s supremely strict on all rules and protocols. Do not forget that she’s living in my apartment as a freeloader and acts like she owns the place.

If she starts to act like a normal person, then that is what I truly call weird.

Yesterday, she handed me an envelope that contains cash. Lots of cash. She said that it was her share for the rent and all the payment for those shopping and destruction she caused. At first, I thought she got her forehead hit again, but she does not have any bandage on her head when we talked.

I tried asking her where she got that money, but all her answers are: “It’s none of your business, stupid donkey!”. I don’t think she robbed a bank or mugged some people. With her sassy and temperamental nature, I don’t think she’s working some part-time job. I really have no idea how she earned so much.

Welp, I’ll just let her be. As long as she’s now contributing to our living expenses, I’m already satisfied. 

However... 

I’m already fine if only Lizzy is acting weird. Because there’s another weird person too, and that person has been eyeing me for the past days.

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The bells rang from the highest floor of the campus, which is the sign that our two o’clock afternoon subject is over. Students started to get away from their seats and disperse. Some of my classmates broke into small clusters of friends, while others already minded their own schedule as they caught up to their next classes.

Luckily for me, this is my last period. I can now rest and be as happy-go-lucky as I can be.

“Hey, Frank. Let’s hit the local internet cafe.” I said as I packed my things in my bag.

“You want to challenge me in Defense of the Abnormals again?” Frank said. “Fine. The loser will pay for a chamomile tea.”

“No, you tea-addict.” I scoffed. “Let’s play League of Losers. I need to catch up with my rank. I never got the chance to play it these past days.”

“That’s what you get for two-timing girls, you bastard. You barely had time for games.” Frank said jokingly. He started to elbow my stomach with a smirk on his face. “So, how’s your cohabitation with a goddess?”

“I told you, it’s a misunderstanding.” I cringed. “And we’re not cohabitating, we’re just living together in the same roof.”

“That’s the same thing.”

“Whatever, you asshat. Let’s just go and carry me to platinum.” I said as I hung my sling bag on my shoulder. 

“Fine. But I’ll only do marksman or assassin. You should be the tank if you want me to carry you.”

“Fine, but call me Naofumi-sama first.”

Frank chuckled and then followed my lead. When we reached the exit of the classroom, a familiar scene happened like this is a deja vu. People are piled up in the doorway, preventing our exit. My classmates seem to be peeking at the person on the other side of the corridor. 

“What is it?” Frank asked.

“It’s an angel!” One of my male classmates answered. “She’s a messenger from the heavens!”

“Of course she is, you idiot!” Another male classmate whispered. “She is a famous teenage idol after all!”

I took a peek for myself. She is a high school girl in a sailor uniform, with blueberry-colored twin-ponytailed hair that reaches her waist. She looks so simple but her cuteness level is already over nine thousand. With a pinkish blushing face, flawless skin, and cheerful smile on her face, she gave an aura of happiness to anyone who’s seeing her.

“It’s Yufa Haruna!” Frank said.

“What is a famous idol doing here at this university? That uniform, she’s still in senior high, right?” One of my classmates said.

“I don’t know! She has been peeking in our classroom since the second period! It’s like she’s waiting for one of our classmates!” Another classmate whispered back.

“It’s our time to get her autograph!” 

One of my classmates pushed us aside as he entered the corridors. With courage, a blushing face, and a dog-like smile, my classmate approached the teenage pop star with full nervousness.

“M-Miss Yufa Haruna, please give me your autograph!” My male classmate handed a clean sheet of paper and a permanent marker.

“Ah! Okay~” Yufa Haruna responded in a friendly manner as she signed the paper.

“Please sign in here too!” My shameless classmate bent over to show his clean white underwear.

“U-Uh, okay.” The teenage pop star’s face is still bright and cheerful, but I think she’s hiding her disgust behind her image. She’s even sweating non-stop.

“Ah~ Ah~ Ahahaha~ Kyaaah~” My perverted classmate moaned as the marker slides on his butt. When the most sexual autograph signing is over, my shameless classmate bowed. 

“Thank you for this autograph, Miss Yufa Haruna!”

“Y-Yeah, S-Sure.” Yufa Haruna waved and smiled. Suddenly, she clasped her hands as if she wanted a favor from my perverted classmate. “Uh, you are classmates with John Casterdyne, right?”

“John Casterdyne? Yes!”

“Can you please call him? Thanks~”

There’s no need for my perverted classmate to relay the message. Their conversation is loud enough for me and my piled-up classmates on the doorway to hear. All they did to pinpoint me is to gaze at me with their doubtful expressions. Yufa Haruna followed their sights until she finally met my eyes.

“M-Me?” I pointed at my face.

“Yes~” 

Yufa Haruna smiled with glitters. She looked like a teenager who just saw her long-lost father that left her when she was a baby. The teenage idol walked towards me and immediately held my hands with a warm caress. 

“Mister John Casterdyne, I want to have a date with you.”

(“D-D-Date!?”) My classmates echoed.

“D-D-Date!?” I also echoed, but with two seconds delay. 

“Yes. I need to talk to you about our future relationship.”

("Future Relationship!?") All my classmates, including Frank, became solid stone as if they were glared by medusa. They couldn’t believe what’s going on. 

I have no idea what's happening. If I could get a dollar whenever there’s a scene where I don’t know what’s going on, I should be able to pay my monthly rent for one year in advance.

“W-When?” I asked.

“Right now. Let’s go~”

Yufa Haruna gently grabbed my wrist and pulled me out from my stockpile of virgin classmates. As we walked in the corridors, I can hear the cries of the damned. They all sounded like demons who wanted to drag me to hell. The fanboys’ cries are as follows:

"Oh! I know! This is a social experiment! Haha! Good one!"

"It's a praaaank! W-Wait, it's not!?"

“Damn! I wish that was me!”

“No, my angel! Why him!?”

"Did you lose a bet? Are you her sugar daddy!? How much did he pay for you!?"

"Where did we go wrong, my goddess!? No no no no no. Please tell me that this is a joke!"

"Why oh why! Why did you choose a walking disaster!? Look at him! Look!"

“Fuck you, John Casterdyne! I hope you die!”