I remembered, I entered my first year into a different school. I am a senior high school student. I was actually 17 years old this time. My interest this time is becoming an engineer.

....

Father was an amazing mechanic, not to mention he can fix automobiles, cars, and even appliances at home. That is his job. He is actually so good at it, that people started to hire him, even if it was overtime. He took those jobs and made a decent amount of income.

.....

We paid the debt that we used for getting out to our last hometown and make a living into a quiet yet, urbanize city.

The school is actually a 10-minute walk from home and if I wanted to go to a convenience store, it is just a 3-minute walk.

Well, I am tall so I could probably get there quicker. No expense on commuting whatsoever. I have to use a public transportation last time.

And... I want to restart my life. From zero. I forgotten my past and look through the future. And that is what I saw. I will be a great engineer one day so I can help my father one day. And we can be like, partners in crime.

.......

I decided to take the course of engineering. So, I take the STEM strand class. I never regretted it. Until... again.

It was the first day of classes. We were introducing ourselves to each other. I tried becoming confident but as soon as I started to introduce myself, the students talk shit on front of me...

"Hey buddy! You're too annoying! Just get this over with!.

"He looks so gloomy!"

"Scary! Come on, hurry up! We can't hear you!"

"Hey retard! Is your words longer than your hair?! Come one, I'm sleepy."

Many more talk their with their piece of shitty minds. The teacher interrupted and scold them, but didn't care. I know this would happen. History always repeats itself. It is just so depressing. I became depressed that time. But, at the same time, annoyed. I said to myself.

"They dare call me like that? I'll show you! I'll show you that this piece of shit is better that anyone here!"

And with that, I started not caring for others and starts to work for myself. I worked the hardest. More than anyone.

Eventually, I got into rank 1. Two times in a row. For the first and second gradings. Those stupid airheads can't even speak to me now. They lost composture too. They envied me. They were afraid if I got 1st place again, they can't be the best anymore. So they decided a plan... a despicable one. It will make you throw-up of disgustment. Everything is always a competition, and they don't want to lose.

....

They started ignoring me first like a ghost, but then it got worst. Even the teacher I admired, was poison through their wealth. They disgust me. But nevertheless, I fighted. At the third grading, I was still at 1st place. You know why? Cheaters never win. And I am not a cheater. But, as I feel relieved... they are always pain.

......

We have a group project about making a science fair invention. It was actually a trap. The groups are tampered.

When I was working, it was night that time, there were male students surrounding me. The female students were just recording me while the boys started to beating me up. I couldn't fight back. I won't. Because, even if they beat me up, I became numb from the pain. But they never realized. I am one step ahead of them.

.....

I was hospitalized for a week. I sustained broken bones and bruises. Psychological damage as well. Father work hard so he can pay to the expenses too. Those parents of those students who bullied me apologize to me and gave us money, for their children were expelled. They didn't know I filed a complaint to the school principal before that beating. And I already planned everything. All that's left is this. To see them suffer. I feel my sins going through my back. But am I really the bad guy here? I just wanted a new life. That's it.

....

At some time, I got a scholarship. I have done my most and my best. 4 gradings in the number 1 spot. So they offered me one. I am so happy. Not only for the scholarship but I moved-up. Next year will be my last year before I graduate again.

But at the same time, Father became ill that time. He could no longer walk. I decided to part-time while I do my studies we rarely play games now too... Even if I try bringing one, he was always asleep. I thought he would always wake up.
But life in so unfortunate, he didn't. I though I was gonna see him for my 18th Birthday, alive and well. No.

He is dead. I didn't accept it. I keep saying...pretending....

"He is just sleeping. He'll be alright."

I saw a note. It's for me. I read this one line.

"See you again later... Haruno."

Signed... Haru Ishikawa...my father....

I cried and cried. And cried some more.
Until... I couldn't pretend anymore...

He's gone... like all the people that I love.

My mother, my father, my girlfriend...

Gone....

Again and again...

The cycle of history is revolving around me...