I remembered. Afterwards, I became a shut-in. After I became parent-less, my grandparents took care of me and gave me what I wanted.

....

But what to expect. My heart is already broken. My world, is broken. Well, the world is always broken from the start. Why would I even expect that it could be fix? It's just waiting for a crow with white feathers.

.....

I decided to buy games. Mostly dating simulator games. "If My Heart Had Wings" was famous that time, and also "Yandere Simulator" and "Katawa Shoujo". I also played them with "Shoujo City" and "Kimi To Kanojo To Kanojo No Koi". I bought some more, including visual novels. "G Senjou no Maou" and "Devil on G String" were my favorite as well. I played, read and repeat the same things everyday.

....

I play, watch, and read like there wasn't any tomorrow coming up for me. I stayed in my room while the bother of bringing me food in my room were left to my grandparents.

....

Then, I remember that I was suppose to play Doki-Doki Literature Club with father. The first psychological, somewhat horror, game. I replayed the canon story. As expected. It is still creepy but I fond to like it. Maybe because I keep daydreaming of saving them all somehow. So, that's what I did the next day.

.....

I installed the game, with mods this time. But not knowing those mods are actually interesting. I played the mod versions like "Brand New Day", "The Truth Of The Literature Club", "Doki-Doki Summertime", "Doki-Doki Blue Skies", "Doki-Doki Normal Visual Novel", "Doki-Doki Sparks of Hope" and many more to mention. I cried at the mods "Doki-Doki Exit Music", "Doki-Doki Rainclouds" and "Another Moment With You". Seriously, I dreamt about that too. And I daydream to be with them.

....

When I always play the game, I always see to some mods that Monika wants to get out of the game. To see the player. I wish I could do the same as well.

"I want to see you all. To save you. I know you can't see, but I can see you here. On the other side of the screen. Maybe if life wasn't so unfair, I could have go there and prevent you from destorying the sanity of those girls. And also, you deserved to be loved too."

But as hearing myself...

"Yeah, I lost it. I am going crazy right now. I should eat right now."

I realize though that my food wasn't here. It is so late. I head out of my room and grabbed my wallet. And because I have nothing to wear, I wore my school uniform.

....

I head outside. But before I head out, my grandparents apologizes to me. They said they can't buy food this late. There are leftovers but I insisted to buy for them.

And then, they see me off. And shouted...

"See you later! Haru! We will be waiting..."

They smiled but I turned my back on them. And leave them... forever... waiting for me to come back....

Ruko-san...my grandmother... and...
Kaito-san...my grandfather...

Those are the names of the people I've left without a goodbye. Even if I shut myself in, they were always there for me. They cared for me even if I didn't care about them. I feel so....evil. I am not that kind of person anymore.

......

And then there goes my life...

I ask myself in this darkness.

"Why? Should I have not done that? All those choices so far?"

There's no such things as infinite choices.

I wish I could see them again. I regretted everything.

"I'm sorry that I couldn't do anything now!"

I cried again. I shouted. Nobody heard me.

"I wish I could have been better."

But that won't happened. I should just keep moving forward.

.....

In this darkness. I found meaning.

.....

Because right now, I have my hope. I have a new life. I won't fail them now.

....

I feel someone calling my name.

....

I am starting to regain my conciousness....

....

I opened up my eyes...