"See you later, Sayori."

Me and Yuri head out of the clubroom. Yuri is acting a bit weird, again, right now. She is too quiet as well. She is not even looking at me, but she is indeed following me.

.....

But, finally.... I could have time for her. I need to treat her somehow. I got a feeling that she just cut herself, again. When I tried to grab her earlier, she seems a bit agitated. Seriously, of all the girls, she is hard to deal with. But I already made my resolve. No matter how hard this is, I will save her.

....

I talk to her because we have been walking for minutes now, while she silently follows me.

"So Yuri, we are walking quite a while now. Do you want to do something right now? Found anything interesting about the festival?"

She is not aware right now so she got shcoked when I called her.

Yuri: "Ahh! What? Uhmmm... sorry. I was... uhmmm..."

She stutters more and after that, she stayed silent. Lips tighted. Goddamnit. I am not going to hurt her nor do something bad. She keeps dazing off from a distance, like spacing out of nowhere.

"Ohhh god. What am I going to do with you?"

Time to use my special technique....

The Hand!

.....

I reach for her sides and decided to tickle her.... non-stop. She starts bursting into tears.

Yuri: "Wahhhh! Hihihi! Hahaha! HAHAHA! Haru.... stop! Stop! It hurts! Hahahaha!

I tickle her more. Study says that a strong simulation can make someone flying from the moon go back to the earth. Or what I mean is she'll get her focus back after this. And you know, she's soft... and thick as fuc-

Yuri: "Ahhhh! Stop! Stop! I-I... I can't take.... I can't take it anymore! It's too much! Haru...."

I didn't stop. I give her more and more. She starts crying a bit. But....

Yuri: "Haru.... Please.... please be gentle...."

Gack! I took a severe damage from her. That was so stimulating just now. Fuck. I got to focus as well.

"Sorry, sorry. But are you okay now? Your mind is like, wandering... and I thought you.... uhhh.... sorry."

Going to take the defensive and the offensive tactic. I'll be the one who is going to take the lead now. Well, right after this, I got more plans for her.

Yuri: "No, no. It is fine. I was... uhm... spacing out."

"Well, it is fine now right? You are back. Sorry again that I had to do it."

Yuri: "Hehehe, you apologize too much, Haru."

"It is my fault though so.... yeah."

What do you expect? I learned from the master. Oh, and I meant Yuri. The Goddess of saying sorry. Wait, what am I saying right now? Let's focus here.

"Anyway, now that's out of the way, what shoud we do today?"

Yuri: "Uhmmm, I don't know. I just ask you to accompany me.... because I don't know.... what you do in a festival."

"Wait, what? Then, what did you do about the past festivals then?"

Yuri: "Actually, I always went to the library that time. There are no people there. Only books. And I read them at peace."

"Oh. The festival is too noisy and crowdy for you? I guess I know the feeling then."

Yuri: "Ahh! Don't get me wrong. Sure, I love the festival but I just don't know what to do. I have no friends to ask..."

Oh. Shit. Why? Are you that lonely?

"Are you that.... no."

I remain silent for a while.

"No. Yuri. No. You have friends. Maybe not that time but, what do you think about us... about me? I am your friend, right?"

All words escapes Yuri right now. She must be shocked from what have I said.

"Hey, why do you look like that? I am your friend so, don't feel like that, okay?"

Taken back by my words, she starts walking to me and hugged me. She starts sobbing softly beside my ear.

"Shhh.. It's alright now. I don't back out on my word. I am your friend. Your friend indeed."

Maybe that's why she cuts herself. Feeling at lost, feeling nothing but pain and loneliness... being an outcast. She must be hurting..... so much.

.....

I comforted her more. But not by talking. Actions speaks louder than words. Besides, staying silent is what's best for now.

.....

Eventually, she stops sobbing and starts to wipe her tears. I grab my handkerchief and wipes her tears for her.

"You know what, who cares about the festival? I am going to spend my time with you with the things you loved."

I grab her hand, not her arm. She may realized my intention.

"Grab on, let's go to that place."

Still recovering from her sobbing, I hold her hand, keeping her company. We walk silently together.

.....

Damn, this is awkward. I feel a cringe about myself. But I just laughed it off.

.....

We arrived at the library. Yuri looks like she is fine now. After seeing books and all, she looks like she cheered up. She asks me something.

Yuri: "Uhmm, so you said that you want to do what I loved to do right?"

"Yeah, and if it is reading together, it's alright."

We saw the librarian approach us.

Librarian: "Hello, good afternoon for you two. May I interest you with some book recommendations?"

Yuri looking so shy, I spoke for her instead.

"Uhhh yes, please."

Librarian: "If you may, I recommend you this books. I made a list, just for you students!"

She sounds excited while she gave me the list. Me and Yuri looks upon it. We read the recommendations.

_________________________________________

Top Recommendations:

1984 by George Orwell.

The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien.

The Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini.

Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone by J.K. Rowling.

Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut.

The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe by C.S.

To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee.

Great Expectations by Charles Dickens.

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov.

Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky.

Lord of the Flies by William Golding.

The Scarlet Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne.

The Catcher in the Rye by JD Salinger.

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë.

Winnie the Pooh by A. A. Milne

_________________________________________

Wow, what a lot of books that I don't know. Except Winnie the Pooh. I motion Yuri.

"Hey, what do you think Yuri?"

Yuri is still in zone. Sh must be thinking about it. The librarian speaks to us again.

Librarian: "Due to the time, I can only give you three books in that selection. Choose what you want, and I will get it for you."

"Uhm, I'll be happy to take... uhmmm...."

Yuri starts to speak up.

Yuri: "We will take: The Catcher in The Rye, Crime and Punishment and Winnie the Pooh. Please?"

Librarian: "Great choice! I'll go get it right away so please don't be shy and sit down. And almost forgot, do mind the library policy alright? Thanks!"

She goes into the bookshelves, finding our selected books. Well, Yuri's selected books. But, why did she get Winnie the Pooh? Maybe out of consideration for me? Well, maybe I should read more than manga.

.....

Me and Yuri sat down together. The atmosphere is so calming. She is right, no noises or people. It's like we are the ones left on earth. I guess I underestimated Yuri's tastes in things. But not that I want her to stay like this.

.....

Yuri is so quiet right now. I guess I should do the same. Well, we are both quiet right now. But you know what, this brings me a nostaligic feeling. I might have remembered something. Like as scene from my past life. I used to go with someone to a room, full with books. Although I don't know those books, I still come because I know that I will find excitement. This takes me back. The quietness of the room, the calming atmosphere, and not to mention the smell of books that are old or new and stayed here for some time now.

.....

The librarian goes back to us, with a handful of books.

Librarian: "Here you guys go, the books that you have requested! Here is a card as well if you are going to borrow it. The library will close in an hour, so before you leave, feel free to check out the book or just returned it and come back for it tomorrow. I'll be at the register then!"

She then heads out.

.....

We started to check the books.

"Woah, the covers are awesome."

Yuri: "Actually, in that selection, those are the books that I have read in the past. So, I think that you might be okay for me discussing it with you."

"Ohh, I appreciate it. Might as well learn some new things about books."

Yuri: "Okay then. Then Haru, let me just scan it for a moment and tell you the summary or the gist of the story."

"Alright."

.....

As the sunlight passed through those windows, and starts kissing Yuri's humble face right now, looking at Yuri right now, she looks so beautiful with her matured face. Hmm...

.....

I secretly take out a snack from my bag. Luckily, I have chocolate sticks called Pocky, was it? Wait, when did this got here? And why do I think about that? Anyway, I decided to munch some. I give Yuri a piece for now. She queitly eats it.

.....

.....

Wow, she looks so cute. I took out my phone out of reflex and took a picture. Oh no, this is so cringe of me right now. But then, Yuri just smiled and mostly telling that it is alright. I took a couple more. Then, I took a selfie with her. Is this girl a photogenic?

"I'll send it you later. Oh. And sorry for taking so many pictures."

Yuri: "It's fine. I don't mind really. If it is you, I'm alright... and thank you... for hearing me out earlier."

"Don't mention it. Just next time, tell it to me. I don't leave my friends hanging."

I felt a chill about my phrasing. Damn it.

"Well, anyway. Are you done?"

Yuri: "Yeah, you can choose whatever you want to be explain first. After that, you can choose what book we shall read later on."

Hmmm... what do I want though?
I look at the three books. What to choose...

"Hmmm, what's this?"

I point at a book which the cover said it was translated from Russian.

Yuri: "Ahhh, that is the book called Crime and Punishment."

"Please do explain it to me. The title is somewhat interesting. Not to mention it was translated from Russian."

Yuri: "Allow me to explain."

_________________________________________

Yuri: "This novel is often cited as one of the supreme achievements in world of literature. This book focuses on the mental anguish and moral dilemmas of the main character, Rodion Raskolnikov, an impoverished ex-student in Saint Petersburg who formulates a plan to kill an unscrupulous pawnbroker for her money."

Yuri: "Before the killing, Raskolnikov believes that with the power of money, he could liberate himself from poverty and go on to perform great deeds."

Yuri: "But little did he know, once he done it, he finds himself racked with confusion, paranoia, and disgust for what he has done."

Yuri: "His justifications disintegrate completely as he struggles with guilt and horror and confronts the real-world consequences of his deed."

_________________________________________

Wait, it's all about mental issues and morals and all?

"So, uhmmm, is it safe to say that it is about greediness of a person? Or like, you know, wanting to have power but later... you found yourself not worthy of that power?"

Yuri: "Oh sorry, I haven't explain it well."

"Is that so? Well, can you tell me what it is all about? What do you think about it?"

Yuri: "Hmmm, for me? It is about... alienation from society. At first, Raskolnikov's pride separates him from society. He sees himself as the most superior to all other people and he cannot relate to anyone. Within his personal philosophy, he sees other people as tools and uses them for his own ends."

"Ahhh so, like what you have said earlier, he thought killing a pawnbroker would make him rich and then he can make great deeds. The pawnbroker is a tool for him to achieve that dream of his."

Yuri: "Exactly, you can catch up well, Haru."

"Hehehe, well you know...."

It bothers me though. The story is again... dark. Why does she love dark stories though? I want her to tell me.

Yuri: "Well, lets move on. What book do you want to be explained?"

Hmmm, I already know Winnie the Pooh. This one then. The cover is enticing as well.

"How about this one?"

Yuri: "Ahhh, The Catcher in the Rye."

_________________________________________

Yuri: "This novel was originally intended for adults, but is often read by adolescents for its themes of angst and alienation, and as a critique on superficiality in society."

Yuri: "The novel's protagonist Holden Caulfield has become an icon for teenage rebellion. The novel was included on Time Magazine's 2005 list of the 100 best English-language novels written."

Yuri: "The novel also deals with complex issues of innocence, identity, belonging, loss, connections, sex, and depression."

Yuri: "The story started off with our angry-depressed 16-year-old main character, Holden Caulfield, who lives in an unspecified institution in California after the end of World War II. After his discharge within a month, he intends to go live with his brother, nicknamed D.B., an author and war veteran with whom Holden is angry for becoming a Hollywood screenwriter."

_________________________________________

Yuri: "Basically, the story us about the two days in the life of the 16-year-old Holden Caulfield after he has been expelled from prep school. Confused and disillusioned, Holden searches for truth and rails against the [phoniness] of the adult world. And the message of this story is about-"

"....That no single individual can save the world.... not a single soul.... no matter what they do...."

Yuri: "Hmmm?

Wait, what? What did I just say? Huh? I feel.... weird for some reason.

"Nothing. I think I get it now. Thank you, Yuri. The story sounds great though. "

Yuri: "No problem. This makes me happy."

Hmm, another story. Why is this more on alienation? Ahhh! Wait....

"Uhm, Yuri. May I ask you something?"

Yuri: "Ehhh? Oh. Go on ahead then."

"I love the stories so far, but why did you choose Winnie the Pooh? I mean, so far it is all about misfortunes and tragic stories that can happen in the real world. I am just curious why..."

Yuri: "Eh? But Winnie the Pooh is a tragic story..."

"Huh? How?"

Yuri: "Let me explain."

_________________________________________

Yuri: "The true story behind Winnie the Pooh is much sadder than you could never imagined. Most of the kids loved Winnie the Pooh. Also, there is a film called "Goodbye Christopher Robin" but that tells the story of a sad boy who felt betrayed by the people who should have loved him the most – his parents."

Yuri: "You see, the Winnie the Pooh characters represent mental illnesses, disorders and diseases."

_________________________________________

Yuri's voice changed. And so does her face.

_________________________________________

Winnie the Pooh have An eating disorder, and attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), meaning it is very hard to focus he also has impulsivity with obsessive fixations.

Piglet have Generalized Anxiety Disorder. The theory states that he may have suffered from an injury that crippled his self-esteem, and that his stuttering problem most likely developed from said injury.

Owl have Dyslexia and Short-Term Memory Loss. Even though he’s shown as being exceptionally bright, it’s shown that he has trouble reading. An example would be in Pooh’s Grand Adventure when he mistook the word school for “skull.” Also Owl tends to forget things as quickly as he says them.

Tigger have ADHD. Tigger is always seen bouncing and can never stay in one place for a long period of time.

Kanga have Social Anxiety Disorder. She is very overprotective of her son, and she would never let her son make his own decisions because of her overprotectiveness.

Roo have Autism. He lacks awareness of danger and has an attachment to sitting in his mother’s pouch.

Rabbit have Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD). He is very orderly and obsessive, and the theory also questions his sexual orientation due to his feminine behavior.

Eeyore have Depressive Disorder. He always has a bleak outlook on life, and never feels any positive emotions like happiness and excitement.

And....

Christopher Robin have Schizophrenia. It is believed that all the characters from the story are manifested depending on Christopher’s mood.

_________________________________________

I stared at her. Without doing anything. Paralyzed for the words that she said. I can't move, nor breath normally. I started shaking knowing the fact that Yuri... is becoming someone else... She has changed. And looking at me with those bloodlust eyes. Am I scared? I AM SCARED? My senses go numb.... I can't feel anything. As I was stuck at a loading screen, only her eyes are meant to be seen.

.....

.....

Please.

.....

Please.

.....

Is there someone there?

.....

Can someone help me?

.....

I can't move.... my legs.

.....

Why am I scared?

.....

I promised that.... I won't be... turn down....

.....

Just like this.... I refused to....

.....

Die...

.....

.....

.....

_________________________________________

Librarian: "CLOSING TIME! You two!"

The librarian shouted. I snapped back. I hardly can't breathe.

Yuri: "Are you alright? You looked pale just now."

"Uhhh... yeah? Well, it is....VERY HOT HERE! YEAH! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Yeah.... what happened just now? The pain in my heart won't go away. It hurts. I feel like a knife just went through my heart. I was stab so many times.... that I can still feel it.

Yuri: "We better get going, Haru. I'll go return the books to the librarian. You go on ahead back to the clubroom. Today was a lot of fun for me. I got to tell you these books."

I look at the books that she's holding.

.....

WHAT!?

.....

She's holding a different set of books. Not to mention, there are four books right now. Wait, the bottom one looks weird though. But, what happened? The books just now... they're gone?

Yuri: "Again, thanks for being with me. Let's read them some other time after you picked one. I'm so excited. Hehehe~"

"Yuri... I-"

Yuri: "Come on. Sayori is waiting for you. I don't want to make my friends mad."

She give me a push, motioning me to get going.

"Wait, how about you then?"

Yuri: "I'll just ask the librarian some questions..."

"O-okay... then... I'll get going now. See you later. I... had fun... as well."

She smiled when I head outside the library.

.....

.....

.....

.....

While walking back to the literature club, I start recollecting my thoughts.

"Did I lose it just now? I think I am the one having the mental breakdowns or whatever..."

I start laughing at my joke to calm myself. I feel so confused and lost. What is this feeling right now?

"Anyway, I guess nothing bad happened to me. I may have gotten a bit... paranoid. Or, I was illusioned by my own thoughts of her."

I decided to hold off the thought for now. My head is hurting and aching.

......

Reaching the hallway to the literature club, I am getting a bit calm. I see Sayori on the end of the corridor. Approaching her, she runs towards me. She jumped and gave me a hug.

Sayori: "So, how's your date?"

"It is not a date though. But I guess it was okay?"

Sayori: "Well, if you think so, I guess it will be just fine. Want to head home now?"

"Yeah, I'm beat."

I look at the clubroom. Apparantly, it is still open but Monika and Natsuki are nowhere to be found.

"They left already?"

Sayori: "Natsuki left rushing towards home while Monika was summoned to a meeting between club leaders."

"And you?"

Sayori: "I waited for you. Hehehe~"

"Thank you, Sayori. Seeing you here makes me feel alright. Although I am tired from all the events."

While talking to Sayori, someone grabs my shoulders and called my name....