Naked, I sat near a somehow unfrozen creek and watched Hannah how she wrung out a bloodied cloth. The snow crunched beneath her shoes as she walked back towards me and crouched down in front of me. Gently, she wiped the bloodied mess on my cheeks away, not even caring that her hands were freezingly cold.

“Hannah?” These were the first words I said in a while, making her smile somewhat.

“Yes?” She asked soothingly.

“Thank you for cheering me up a bit.” I said calmly as she wiped off my shoulders.

“Always. That’s what friends do.” I could only smile bitterly as I still failed to admit it to her. Yes, she was my friend. Even more so than any of the kids in the orphanage were … but I couldn’t admit it. Not if Aska was potentially listening in … and not if someone would try to hurt her because of it.

“Do we have some alcohol?” I asked after she finished washing my back and handed me over a completely clean cloth to do the rest myself.

“No …” She muttered, furrowing her brows as I rubbed off the blood on my belly.

“Too bad … then I just want to sleep.” I said, gave her the bloodied cloth and picked up my clothes. After getting rid of the snow on them, I wore them quietly. Together with Hannah who was shaking uncontrollably, I walked back towards our carriage parked in the centre of the camp.

The whore was luckily nowhere in sight as I opened the door and climbed into the carriage. I pulled Hannah up as well and made her sit on the ground. Then, I went outside, rummaged through a few nearby chests and gathered every blanket and pillow I could find. I threw them all inside the carriage and spread them across the floor with Hannah´s help.

Hannah had round eyes as I got rid of my cold and dirty clothing and slipped under a few of the blankets.

“We don’t have any nightgowns.” She stated, clearly uncomfortable with the situation.

“I just want to sleep.” I said, curling myself up into a ball. A few seconds later, she was undressing as well, getting rid of her wet clothing until she slipped underneath the blankets as well. She stopped moving as she laid right behind me, hugging me tightly in the process. Her cold feet played with mine for a little while until I heard her breathing slowing down as well. I closed my eyes, enjoyed her returning warmth for a bit, and then drifted into sleep as well.

I felt so tired.

And even as I opened my eyes again, I couldn’t shake this feeling of tiredness off me in an instant. As I heard something roaring right beside me though, I was immediately dragged out of my drowsy state. I stumbled away from that thing. It rolled with weird wheels across a nearly black stone and was so loud that I backed away from it. As it was completely made out of metal, fighting this thing would be hard.

But at least I could fight the man inside that thing. He was holding another, smaller wheel and was separated from me by crystal clear glass as that thing moved past me.

I relaxed considerably afterwards and looked around. Houses out of stone littered the street, separated by low wooden fences. Lush grass was growing in their front yards, and in one of them, another thing was moving across it, making weird noises in the process.

I knew I was in another world. But this world … was weird.

“Ah, there you are.” Irminsul said, appearing out of thin air in front of me. As usual, she was wearing her green dress, but she still looked different somehow. Curious, I reached out to her and could actually feel her flesh. She was there in person. A bit embarrassed, I took my hands back and looked at her.

“Where are we?” I muttered quietly.

“One of the many versions of a planet called Earth.”

“And what is that thing?” I asked and pointed towards another one of these things I saw in the beginning.

“Ehh … a sophisticated carriage?” That thing didn´t look like a carriage. It was way too low and the weird wheels were way too small. I also doubted any horse could pull so much metal easily.

“… and where are the horses?” It moved, but nothing was pulling it. It was just … weird.

“Inside?” She said slowly as if she didn´t know it better or struggled to explain how that worked.

“These horses must be really tiny to fit inside that thing.” I concluded. Maybe it was a special breed?

“Eh … you could say so.” She muttered.

“And what is that animal?” I pointed towards that thing that was moving across the grass, only to stop as it reached the fence.

“A lawnmower … it is like … hard to explain. It cuts down the grass in your yard.” I looked at her, full of misunderstandings. 

“And … why would I want that?” Not even the nobles were doing that stuff and they lived in luxury.

“Uhm … I guess it looks better this way? Anyway, we are not he-“ She said, but I interrupted her immediately.

“What is that?” I said, pointing towards a bird in the sky that wasn’t flapping his wings. Instead, it drew some sort of white painting in the sky.

“A plane. Humans fly with that ... or they spread chemtrails, depending on who you ask.” I laughed loudly at the absurdity of her explanation. Humans didn´t fly. Not even the greatest archmages who specialized in air manipulation could. And this chemtrail thingy? I had no clue what she was even talking about.

“Sure. What´s next? Do they fly to the moon with that thing as well?” Irminsul opened her mouth after I asked her that, and then closed it again. It was like looking at a fish for quite some time as she struggled to find the right words.

“Ehm … Aska taught you advanced physics, but not this?” She asked quite surprised.

“I guess not? Do they fly to the moon or not?” I said, curious about her answer.

“… rarely.” She admitted.

“Oh my! What weapons are they using here?” I asked, slowly beginning to get more and more interested in this world, despite the crushing sadness I felt.

“Why … metallic horses, birds, ships, big explosive homing arrows, crossbows that shoot faster and don’t require reloading that often.” She didn´t make much sense … metallic birds? Wouldn’t they fall to the ground quickly?

“Swords? Maces? Daggers? War scythes?” I asked slowly.

“No.” Well … this wasn’t a world for me then.

“I kind of feel useless here.” I admitted and began to walk away from the place where I started off.

“Don’t walk on the street.” She said, grabbing me by my arm and pulling me off this weird black stone.

“Kay … why am I here?” I asked, jumping over a low fence as I saw one of these lawnmower thingies once more.

“Aska told me what happened to Laura … I´m sorry. I failed to react in time … but even if I was there, I doubted I could do anything.” She said as the lawnmower moved against my strange shoes and stopped harmlessly. Quite disinterested, I jumped back over the fence quickly afterwards.

“It was my fault.” I admitted, waiting for one of these metal carriages to approach. Before I could jump in front of one of them, Irminsul grabbed the back of my shirt and pulled me towards her right, away from the strange stone and the carriage that whooshed past us.

“That thing won´t stop in time. And we aren’t here to satisfy your curiosity.” She said, slowly blurring out. Once again, she turned into this weird illusion and hovered by my side while I stared at one of these carriages. This thing was huge. It thundered past me with a roar and I could feel the air as it did so. “Go right at that crossing.”

I looked towards where she was pointing and slowly strolled towards that crossing, looking around me time and time again. Fascinating, I looked at these weird houses and marvelled at the smoothness of a few of them.

As I turned around the corner, the same thing continued there as well. Smooth pavement beneath my feet, strange houses to my sides and finally, another human outside these things. The sixteen-year-old girl jogged towards me, a strange thing in her hand, wearing nothing but a shirt and short trousers. At first, I didn´t even bat an eye at her as I was still way too fascinated with the houses, but as she jogged past me, I glanced at her face.

“Laura?” I asked, blinking a few times in surprise. This was … her. An older version, but it was definitely her. Her face, her brown eyes and hair … everything fitted perfectly.

“Excuse me?” She said, pulling a strange white stick out her ears. She didn´t remember me. Naturally, she didn´t. Everyone would forget me after their death.

“Hi, I´m … Lucinda.” I muttered.

“I´m Laura, nice to meet you … can I help you in any way?” She said, still treading on one place and touching that metal thing in her hand.

“Tell her you lost your mom at the mall.” Mall? What was that?

“I … lost my mum at the mall.” I stated, earning myself a lot of pity from Laura in the process.

“Oh my … here, come with me. We will find your mother together.” Nobody was this friendly. If kids where doing what I asked for, they were usually trying to rob someone. But she … I couldn’t see any hint of doubt in her eyes.

“Where are you from?” She asked, taking my hand and walking with me.

“Tell her you are from Siberia. You don’t have internet there, so this is all kind of new for you.” Irminsul said.

“… I´m from Siberia. We don’t have internet there, so this is all new for me.”  I stated, raising my eyebrows towards the goddess as I understood … Exactly. Nothing.

“Wow, from Russia? And what are you doing in this small city then?” Yeah … I looked at the goddess once more and repeated what she told me afterwards.

“My dad owns a mining firm … and mother wanted to take me to another country once in a while.” I said and noticed how Irminsul vanished beside me.

“Wow, I heard it is really cold there.” She stated, while I looked around to see her in the distance.

“It is … Laura?” I asked swiftly, knowing my time would be over soon.

“Yes?” She said smiling brightly at me.

“Are you happy?” I asked shortly afterwards.

“Happy? Hmm … my mum is making quite a lot of stress because of school and my brother is going on my nerves quite often…” She muttered and looked strangely at me as if she didn´t understand that question. Tears welled up in my eyes again, but this time for a completely different reason.

“Honey!” Irminsul shouted, running towards us while waving. I grabbed Laura´s hand tightly one last time, until the goddess lifted me up.

“ … mum …” I muttered, but my eyes were still drawn towards Laura.

“Thank you for looking over that rascal. She likes to explore the world on her own, but this is all so new for her. I was worried so sick …” Irminsul said, radiating her fake love everywhere.

“No … no, I´m always glad to help.” Laura said, slowly waving with her hands in front of her. “Well then … Lucinda, keep on exploring the world, will you?”

I nodded towards her and watched her back as she turned around. “Oh, but before I forget it. Don’t do it alone next time!” She said loudly and waved towards us, jogging away from us, a bit weirded out by us, but making me so happy.

“Goodbye!” I shouted as she was a bit away from us. I still waved after her as she ran around a corner and vanished from my sight.

“When we were talking about what it means to live a few days ago … I forgot something. Living means letting go as well.” The goddess said, letting me stand on my own two feet once again.

“I am the sole immortal on a world filled with fragile beings. How often do I need to let go to be alive?” I questioned, slowly getting a bit sadder.

“It is not a question of how often, it is a question about when. Don’t let the person you hold dear fill you with grief because they keep disappearing one after another. Hold them close to you, keep them safe from harm. And when they are ready, let them go on into another world.”

“Was Laura ready?” I asked bitterly.

“… she wanted to be with you because she wanted to live with you as her family. But if it comforts you, she found a family here as well.”

“… this isn´t an illusion, right? Her happiness is real?” I asked slowly.

“It is. I used quite a few favours to accelerate the time on this planet a bit.” Irminsul revealed.

“Thank you.” I said. And I truly was thankful for the opportunity the goddess gave me.

“You´re welcome. I wish you could have talked more to her, but …” She said, and I knew exactly why she made Laura´s and my reunion so short. It was because she wasn’t sure if I would let go of her if she allowed me to drag this out.

“No, it is alright like this. I had my chance to bid my farewells to her under better circumstances. I don’t want to mess up her life a second time.” I answered and looked towards the goddess as she was smiling from ear to ear.

“… you have around four months to get everything in order. I may be able to get a few more days, but otherwise …” She muttered as I felt familiar drowsiness befall me.