I'm having lunch with the cheerleaders again, and honestly, I'm enjoying it. Kristy doesn't even have to come get me now; just meeting up with them in the quad is a habit.

It's Thursday, and I know I need to ask now before it gets too last minute. I just hope I don't regret it.

"So…"

I really don't want to do this. Honestly, it feels like I'm looking at a beartrap and choosing to step on it—either that or onto a landmine. But I doubt that I'm going to be lucky enough that things will be over that quickly.

"Yes, John?" Layla says, and there are a few grins sent at me from everyone else.

"Is it safe to assume that I'm not getting out of the dance?"

I'm not reassured by the grins getting wider or the few headshakes accompanying them.

"Definitely not." Layla glances over at Kristy. "Was there someone you wanted to ask?"

Shoot. I guess Hannah was right. She's annoying like that.

"I was thinking about solo with the team if attendance is mandatory." And because it feels really shitty to take someone else when I'm pining after Payton.

If I ask someone out, I don't want her to be a replacement or second place. That wouldn't be fair to either of us.

"Yes, it's mandatory. Team building. So what did you want to ask?"

I take a deep breath; here we go. "I don't have clothes for the dance."

Three of the girls share a high five for some reason, and everyone else is giggling. Kristy catches my eyes and shakes her head before she mouths. "Run."

Unfortunately, before I can even think about running, Layla's right-hand wraps around my arm. "John, are you asking us to take you shopping?"

"I was thinking it might be an excuse to skip?" My voice sounds lame. I'm not even sure why I'm trying this. Hannah outright laughed at me when I suggested it.

"John, John, John. You're going to the dance if I have to squeeze you into one of my dresses. So we can go to the mall after school today, or you can raid my closet tomorrow. Which of those options do you prefer?"

"The Mall?" As if there's any real question there. A nice pair of pants will be fine.

"Good boy. Now." Layla claps. "Who else is in?" Every single girl raises her hand. Shoot. I'm doomed.

I'll need to be careful with what I buy today. I have a bit of money saved up, but that's for Hannah this weekend. We'll get whatever she needs to make our room a proper home for her.

Why couldn't the dance be next week? At least then, I wouldn't need to worry about overspending today and letting Hannah down.

I'm probably overthinking it; how much could one outfit cost? It isn't like I'm getting a dress for homecoming.

Lunch is almost over, and I should get going, but Layla hasn't let go of me yet, and there's a look on her face. There's something else she clearly wants to say.

So, once we're alone. "What's up, Layla?"

"Why didn't you ask Kristy to the dance?"

Oh. Somehow, that wasn't what I was expecting.

"I'm pretty sure she's just tolerating me at this point. Yes, she's thankful for the history help, but I don't think she's actually interested." In me or the tutoring. She’s listening but it really feels like she doesn’t need it.

It’s confusing.

"And?" Layla smiles as if she knows the answer but wants me to say it.

"I have a crush on Payton; you know it, the entire squad does. Asking Kristy to the dance feels wrong. If I'm going to ask someone, she should be my first choice."

Besides, I'm not even sure I like Kristy at all. Maybe once I get to know her better, that will change. It's honestly too soon to tell. We're barely acquaintances at this point, and we've spent hours together.

Neither one of us has opened up; maybe that's my fault, but I'm trying to tutor Kristy and Caroline, for that matter. Small talk distracts from that.

"Good answer."

Why is this entire situation so confusing? I honestly can't figure out what Layla even wants from me. Yes, I know her secret; yes, I'm friends with Payton - former best friends, and we're just picking things back up from where we left off but inviting me into her life, to her friendships and her cheerleading team? I just don't get it.

We only have a couple more minutes until the bell, but I need to ask; I need to know.

"Layla, what is all this. Honestly? It's starting to feel like you're constantly testing me."

"You're right."

What? She just came out and confirmed it. What the actual fuck?

"John, I like you, and to be honest, that surprises me. I didn't expect that I would when we pulled you into the locker room that afternoon. You're thoughtful, but you still can ruin my life. So, I'm trying to get a feel for you as a person."

"Then ask!" I'm insanely tempted to storm off right now. As is, I only have another minute before the bell rings, and we both need to leave. This is honestly shitty timing for this talk.

Ideally, I could blow off some steam by running through a few routines, but there isn't time for that. Maybe coach would let me skip fifth period? Nah, not worth the hassle.

I'm so unbelievably frustrated!

"We're having bonding time this afternoon, then the dance tomorrow and Saturday night; you're coming over, and we're going to do just that, talk, get to know one another."

"What are your parents going to think, bringing some strange boy over?"

"Delighted, of course."

Oh, right, their lesbian daughter probably doesn't bring boys home very often, if ever.

I'm not even dating Layla, but I'm feeling nervous about meeting her parents. Should I bring something?

The bell rings, and we both go our separate ways. Maybe I should talk to Payton about this, but I'm going to keep it quiet. For now, anyway.

Nothing happened, but bringing it up and making a fuss might ruin things between me and Payton, and I'm not willing to risk that.

Hannah's been suspiciously absent today; I would love her help navigating this whole situation. If anyone could help me, it would be her. I don't know if this is just cheerleader politics, popular girl shit or something else.

Yes, I understand why Layla needs to protect herself; I'm not an idiot, but if Layla's going to throw her friends at me until I crack or something. I might actually scream.

It's almost enough for me to long for my old loneliness, and that sounds stupid to me, but it's how I'm feeling.

At least then, I knew where I stood. Alone, other than Hannah. Now, I just don't really know.

Okay, honestly, I'm being dumb. Yes, I'm feeling stressed, but I have Payton back, and that's worth anything to me. A little discomfort and aggravation shouldn't be getting to me like this.

Whatever, I’ll get through the next two periods and then at least I can burn off some steam with retail therapy.

 

***

I've never been excited to go clothes shopping before, and right now, I think I'm just nervous. It would explain the weird feeling in my stomach.

It's tempting to sneak out, and walk home, but to be honest I wouldn't put it past Layla to just show up at my house and physically drag me to the mall.

That's my fault, though; it isn't like I have anyone to blame but myself. I brought up clothes.

"John, are you ready for the Mall?" Hannah says and I shake my head.

"Nope."

This is why I'm dragging my feet and getting everything from my locker, even things I don’t need.

"You are going though, right?" Hannah's staring at me with her hands on her hips, and I roll my eyes. She takes the mall seriously, and I barely get the appeal.

Honestly, that's why I offered to take Hannah to the mall this weekend. I know she loves going to the mall, and I really do want to get her some stuff for the house.

"I assume the girls are waiting for me by the doors?"

"Definitely, and spread out. You'd be better off using your normal door and just meeting Kristy at her car."

"You're coming, right?"

"John, I wouldn't miss this. We're still on for Saturday?"

Normally, I would avoid going to the mall twice in one week. Still, I would never disappoint Hannah - tonight is about me, but this weekend is all about her.

"In the morning, Layla wants to have dinner. We'll leave early so you don't feel rushed. I'll make sure you get at least six hours."

Hannah does a cartwheel, and I shake my head at her. "You're the best."

My phone buzzes a few times, and if that isn't the squad messaging me to make sure I didn't sneak out, I'll be shocked. I really need to get going.

Thankfully, the exit isn't too far away from my locker and Kristy's the first face I see.

"Sorry for the wait."

"You just won me a bet, so don't worry about it."

"Who bet I would try and run? Zoey or Madison?" It might have been one of the other girls, but those two are my front runners.

"Make that two bets."

“Both of them then.”

I can't tell if this is cheerleader politics or 'girl stuff', as Hannah would call it. Honestly, it could be both. Worse, there's no subtle way to find out right now.

We really need to figure out a way for me to talk to Hannah with other people around. It wasn't an issue before, but I have way too many eyes on me now.

It sucks. My friend is right here, and I can't talk to her. We need to figure out a solution and soon.

"Cheerleader secret, John."

Sure, but I can see the trap here, and I'm not going to step into it completely. I'm in too deep already. Why invite more trouble?

"Well, we shouldn't keep the girls waiting much longer."

Kristy surprises me when she pulls me into a hug and just laughs. "One thing you need to learn if you're going to be with us, John, is to be fashionably late."

Eyes have been on us since I walked out of the school, but with Kristy's arms around me, that number has multiplied a lot.

I usually hug Mom or Hannah, and Payton and I have shared a few since our reunion, but this is the first time in a long time that I've hugged someone else. After a minute, I do.

If there's no rush, though, maybe we can stay like this for a bit longer. People are looking, but I don't care; they're going to talk anyway.

Kristy drops her hands to her side, and I step back with a smile.

"Well, in that case, do you want to get a milkshake first?"

"Maybe another day, but it's good you're thinking about dates." There's a slight teasing edge to her tone.

I'm not, not really, but I seem to be getting nudged that way.

Hannah's smiling, maybe wistfully, at us, and that just confirms something for me. I think we need to have an important talk soon.

Saturday night, maybe?

I can't remember the last time I was this busy; the past few days have honestly been exhausting. Being around other people, even without all these politics, is tiring.

Hopefully, after this weekend, things can get back to normal.

Well, less hectic, anyway. As stressed as I am, I really don't want things to go back to how they were.

I reach Kristy's car a couple of steps ahead of her, and since I hear the chirp, I hold open the driver's side door for her.

"Really, John?"

"Totally."

There's a faint but genuine smile on Kristy's face, and she gets into her car, and then I walk around to get in myself. Hannah's shoulders are shaking as she laughs at me.

Rude.

Kristy's quiet, and I'm thankful that the trip to the mall doesn't take all that long; I was starting to feel awkward.

The rest of the squad is waiting as I step out of the car. Hannah throws her arm around my shoulders, which helps me relax.

I have one friend with me, that's plenty.

There's a lot of giggling, and then I'm surrounded and practically dragged through the mall. I'm not even sure what store we're in.

The girls dispersed, and I'm not entirely sure what I should be doing. I think there are guy clothes on the wall to my left, but was I supposed to stay here?

Who knows.

"It's not too often I see a teenage boy in here with this many girls. Designated pack mule?" A woman (her name tag says Tilly) suddenly says.

Thankfully, I just laugh. "Maybe. That hasn't come up yet. I made the mistake of mentioning I didn't have clothes for the dance tomorrow."

"You're either very brave or naive."

"You can say stupid, I won't be offended." Because I am.

Tilly laughs. "Never to a customer.  Can I give you some advice?"

"Please, I'd appreciate it."

Sure, I just met Tilly, but I doubt she'll give me bad advice, and I don't really have anything to lose.

"Guy clothes are over there." Pointing to my left, I'm glad I was right about that. "Find yourself something, anything. Your friends will be happier with you participating."

"She's right, John. Shopping is about bonding and having a shared experience. I can give you some pointers."

"Thank you, Tilly." And Hannah. "I'll do just that. Excuse me."

I'm pretty sure I hear Tilly say. "Cute kid." As I walk away.

I'm half convinced at least a few of the girls have forgotten I'm even here. I can see them digging into racks of skirts and dresses.

Hannah will help me if no one else does, but what am I looking for? Pants and a shirt, I guess?

There's a silver dress on a mannequin as I walk by and I stop and smile at it. Tiffany would look killer in that, where is she?

"John?" Hannah says, and I look over at her and then glance around. There doesn't seem to be anyone close enough to overhear us.

"What's up?"

"John, is that you?" Shit. I smile when I see Caroline poking her head out of a rack.

"Caroline, hey." I hope she didn't hear what I said. Sure, 'What's up' is pretty harmless, but it's odd with zero context.

"I have some shirts for you to try."

"You have great timing." My hand darts out and grabs a green hooded dress. "Because you would be great in this." Caroline takes it from my hand and holds it up to herself.

"Good eye and smart too. How are you single again?"

"I don't know how to answer that." And I really don't. Payton's the only person I've ever had a crush on before.

Most people have been content to let me be alone. I can't think of anyone who has shown interest in me before.

It doesn't matter.

"Well, that's better than making something up." Caroline points to the back of the store. "Change rooms are over there; take these and try them on."

"Okay, thanks."  

Thankfully, since my hands aren't full, I snag a few things that catch my eye. I can pass them off to the girls in question whenever I see them.

The change rooms have the added bonus of having no one in them, just me - Hannah grins at me but stays on the public side of the curtain.

Hannah only tried following me once before we had a very quick talk about it. She said she forgot whatever that meant.

Caroline handed me two nice button-down dress shirts. I start with the dark blue one; it fits pretty nicely.

It's just a shame it's the first thing I tried on. There's no way the girls are going to let me get away with picking the very first thing and calling it a day.

"John, where are you?" Layla says suddenly.

I'm dressed, so I step out and see half the squad standing there.

"Right here."

A few appraising looks are sent at me before Layla says. "Try this."  

"One sec."

Let's see. Zoey, Miranda, and Layla were out there, so I grabbed the clothes I saw for them: a silky open-shoulder top, a purple skirt, and a bodycon dress.

"Trade you."

"What's this?"

I roll my eyes. "We're shopping. Sure, we came so I would have good clothes for the dance, but I wasn't going to leave any of you high and dry. I grabbed this stuff on my way through."

"Huh. That's good to know." Layla is looking thoughtful again, and Hannah is doubled over, laughing at me.

"This skirt is cute, thanks, John."

"Anytime there's a halter top on a mannequin behind you, that would go great with it, Miranda."

"Just us, or do you have something for the entire squad tucked away?"

"All of you, of course, Layla. Team activity, so I'm participating."

Honestly, this store has a ton of great things. Hannah's grabbed a few things for herself already.

I'm not totally sure how it works, but Hannah seems to be able to duplicate objects and take those echoes with her.

Technically, that means I wouldn't need to spend money on her on Saturday, but that isn't the point of our trip to the mall.

It's to show Hannah that she matters, that she's welcome anywhere I live, and that she's fully a part of my family.

I don't care that she's dead. She's a person and my friend.

“Go put that shirt on and come back. I want to see how it fits. Miranda, can you help me with this dress?”

“For sure.”

My shirt is halfway off when the curtain pulls back, and Hannah steps through.

We talked about this!

"Yes, yes, I know. Your modesty, John, but are you feeling okay?"

What a weird question, I nod. I can hear the girls outside the curtain, so I can't speak right now.

"We'll talk properly tonight, John. I'm worried about you."

There probably aren't cameras in here, so it's safe to wrap my arms around Hannah and lean in close to her ear.

"I'm mostly okay. Stressed, sure, but I'm having fun."

"Finish getting dressed, John." There's a quiver in Hannah's voice.

We'll talk about it tonight, but I need to get through this shopping trip

 

  

***

"Bye, John. See you tomorrow."

"Thanks for the ride, Kristy."

I spent too much money at the mall but I made sure to keep enough that Hannah can afford anything she wants on Saturday.

"John," Kristy says as I step out of the car.

"Yeah?"

"Nothing." She tosses her head. "I'll see you in the morning."

I cover a frown. Kristy wanted to say something or wanted me to, but whatever it was, she decided not to. That's fine. Hannah's smiling at me, too.

"Pleasant dreams."

Hannah presses against my side as we walk up the stairs, and once we're sitting on our bed, she throws her arms around me.

"You need to hang up those clothes so they aren't wrinkled, but we need to talk. I'm worried about you, John."

I don't want to dismiss Hannah's concerns, but everything seems minor. So much is going on, and frankly, I have been feeling weird.

"I've been having some aches, and my skin feels tight. I've been trying to ignore it. We threw my body around the other day."

"And what about at the store? Why were you looking at that silver dress?"

"Oh, I thought Tiffany would look great in it."

Hannah's voice has a sharp edge when she says. "There's no Tiffany on this year's Cheersquad, John."

"Sure there is, Tiffany Stevens. She's a flyer. Red hair, green eyes. That silver dress would be stunning on her."

It's weird for Hannah to get something about the team so wrong. She goes completely still in my arms and then just starts shaking. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

"You didn't do anything. Hannah, you're my best friend. Tell me, what's wrong?"

Hannah just keeps repeating herself over and over again until she exhausts herself and falls into a fitful sleep. I've never seen Hannah like this; it's a little scary. She's always been solid and self-assured. While she's asleep, I tuck the blankets around her and hang up my new clothes.

Hopefully, whatever is bothering her is something we can solve together, but on Saturday, we can at least do some shopping to try to make things better for her.

***

I'm less sore today, but my skin is still feeling tight. I don't know what's causing it, but I do know if it persists. I'm going to need to see a doctor. Hopefully it isn’t supernatural, I can’t exactly get help for that.

Hannah's still in bed; something is going on with her, and I hope she'll talk to me about it soon. It almost feels like she wants to pull away from me, and that makes my chest hurt. 

She was incredibly upset last night but wouldn’t explain or couldn’t.

Yes, I'm not alone anymore, but Hannah's just as important to me as Payton.

The itching is probably psychosomatic, a result of the stress and trauma of the other day or just the ongoing stress. The dance is tonight, and Hannah prepared me the best she could, but I really just want to stay home.

At least Payton said she would be at the dance. It's also a good way for her to hang out with her girlfriend publicly, so I have to consider that another layer of my involvement.

I'm a cheerleader or whatever, and I have lunch with them daily. Payton is my friend, so it wouldn't look too unusual for Payton to join me occasionally. At least I hope not.

This is all so complicated!

Layla's parents totally suck.

If they were remotely normal, Layla and Payton could just date and be together, and it wouldn't matter; it shouldn't matter.

I haven't seen them together yet, but I don't feel as jealous as I expected. Maybe it's just because Layla makes Payton happy, and that matters more to me.

Yeah, that's probably it.

When I come downstairs, Mom lingers, but when I glance at the clock, she's usually gone by now. I wonder what's going on.

"Hey, mom."

"John, good morning. How are you?" She's smiling a lot. Like she figured out a secret.

"Good, slept great. Do you have today off?"

Mom's smile gets wider, and I start to feel nervous. "No, I need to leave in a minute, but I noticed on the doorbell camera that the same car was coming and going all week, and some very pretty girls were coming out of it. It's out there now, so John, is there anything you'd like to tell your mother. Like how you're dressed?"

Shoot. That's what I get for wearing one of my new outfits, but Hannah pouted when I brought up wearing something else, and if she was that bad, the cheerleaders would be even worse.

"The car belongs to Kristy. She's in my history class, and I'm tutoring her."

"Is that so?" Mom says in a tone that implies I'm lying, and I can kind of understand it. Especially since I usually walk. I wave her off.

"Yes, tutoring her and Caroline in History. Art stuff with Pay is mostly at her place, and yes, she said she'll visit on Tuesday."

"You came home late and with a few bags yesterday. Where were you?"

Mom never asks me this many questions, but maybe she's just excited?

"The Mall, there's a dance tonight, and the squad wanted me to go. I told them I didn't have clothes, and they dragged me to the mall." Almost literally. The girls had all the doors blocked yesterday, so I couldn't sneak out.

"The what?"

I sigh, okay, here we go. "The cheerleaders invited me to lunch after the other day, and..." Mom cuts me off. Yeah, I'm totally doomed.

"My, John. Hanging out with the cheerleaders, your father will be thrilled. Now, I really do need to get going, but we'll talk about this over the weekend. It seems like we have some catching up to do."

I really have been busy this week, and I'm not surprised that Mom wants to hang out. 

"Is Sunday okay? I have plans at the mall again tomorrow." And also have dinner plans, but I'm not about to tell Mom about them.

Mom looks like a shark that just smelled blood in the water. "Sure, now, let me walk you out."

No way!

"That isn't necessary." But I know it's a lost cause. Mom really does have to get going. I might as well get this over with.

I grab my shoes, and Mom follows me out of the house. She gives Kristy's car a lingering look as she conveniently waits for the garage to open.

"Problems, John?" Kristy says after I slip into her car. She's wearing one of the tops she picked up at the mall yesterday; it's really cute, and it matches her lipstick nicely.

"No, Mom was just curious."

"Should I go say hello?"

I really want to pinch my nose. Who's next? Payton, or Layla this morning? Are all the women in my life going to give me grief today? Is there a signup sheet?

"Only if you want to be late for class. You're looking really cute today, and Mom will gush."

Fuck. I didn't mean to say that. Maybe I can just walk to school today? The locks engaging kills any hope of that as soon as it even occurs to me.

Kristy actually turns and looks at me, and I can feel the heat moving into my face. She fiddles with her phone for a minute before putting it away.

Good, I wouldn't want her driving while distracted.

"Now, John. No running away. I'm cute, am I?" At least Kristy starts backing her car out of our driveway as she teases me. Mom really would have come up to the car if we lingered too much longer.

I'm not even sure why I'm so nervous; I told the squad that, collectively, that they're all pretty.

"Yes, you matched your lipstick with the top Zoey shoved into your arms yesterday. Your hair's shinier, too; I assume you did some work on it this morning, so you wouldn't need to tonight. Not that you aren't normally pretty, of course." 

Saved it.

"Are you sure you don't mean hot or slutty?"

"Definitely not the last one. I mostly use cute or pretty because, as words, they're inoffensive. If you want me to say a total babe or a straight-up hottie, I can do that too. Can I be honest here?"

"Totally."

"I just met you, and I don't know anything about you, not really. I found out more in thirty minutes at the mall yesterday than I have from six hours of tutoring."

"Shopping is a good way of bonding; it can reveal someone's best and worst side. You’re looking good yourself this morning."

And if they have any taste, but that's a totally separate thing. 

"Right, but you drive me to and from school every day, and I know it's out of your way and that you're annoyed by it, but Layla asked; she's the captain, so you're doing your part."

I'm rambling a little, and it's probably a bad idea, but I need to get this off my chest. Thankfully, Kristy seems content to listen at the moment.

"I also know you're keeping an eye on me for the rest of the squad; I'm not an idiot." Especially since Hannah filled me in with some information about what's going on. Since I'm part of the team now, she can spill. "The tutoring is a side bonus; you need less help than Caroline, consistently. So you resent me for all the time you're wasting. So yes, I'm careful with what I say to you."

We pulled into the parking lot while I was rambling, but Kristy hadn't unlocked the car.

There's honestly a really good chance I'm about to get screamed at.

"Is that why you haven't asked me out?"

What? Why the hell would she even ask that?

"First of all, are you kidding? I just said I know you resent me. Why would I ask you out?"

"Because you were supposed to three days ago. That was part of the plan, duh. It’s rude to keep a girl waiting, you know."

Plan, what plan?

"Layla's?"

"Yeah, you and I start dating, so people don't think it's weird that we're spending time together."

They'd think it's more weird, but the tutoring explains it well enough. After my little bit of acrobatics on the stairs, no one is even questioning it anymore.

"Okay, let's discount the fact you don't even like me for a second. You know I have a crush on Payton. You all do, so why is this even being pushed?"

I'm more surprised than I probably should be when Kristy rolls her eyes at me. "Because you don't actually have a crush on Payton, dummy."

"Ah, yes, I do." I know my feelings better than Kristy does.

"No, and I understand why you think you did, but you don't. I thought the same thing at first. You love Payton as your best friend, and you missed her. You saw dating her as a way to get her back in your life."

That isn't it.

I definitely have a crush on Payton. She’s just so nice, and being back with her is everything I hoped it would be. It’s the way things should be.

It’s a crush. Isn’t it?

I really like Payton, don’t I?

Maybe? Wait, that can't be right.

...Huh.

I can’t think about this right now.

"And John, that thing you said to the Captain about anyone you want to ask needing to be your first choice? That’s exactly the kind of answer a girl likes to hear. See you at lunch." And then Kristy unlocks the doors and steps out. I guess I'm dismissed.

The bell rings, and I sigh. I guess I have to run a little, or I'll be late for homeroom. This sucks. My head is spinning. I really just want time to think.

 

 

***

Moving through the halls today has been weird, well, more bizarre than my new normal. It isn't just the cheerleaders looking at me; some of the other girls are, too.

Is it because of the dance or my new clothes?

It has to be one of those things, they’re the only things that make sense, but we have dances pretty frequently, and there have never been this many eyes on me. The clothes then?

At least Hannah's here now, so she can hopefully explain.

"Hey, so any idea why people are looking at me?"

"Gossip mill." Wow, Hannah, that's helpful.

I frown at her, and that's when I notice she's made up more than usual. About the same amount as Kristy, actually.

Maybe it's a cheerleader thing on the day of a dance? I'll find out in the quad, I guess.

"Care to elaborate?"

The grin that Hannah gives in response is the opposite of reassuring. "You'll see, you should get to lunch. You'll need your energy for tonight." There's an almost shy smile on Hannah's face before she says. "Save me a dance?"

As if she even needs to ask. Hannah's my best friend; my dance card always has an opening for her. Though, we might need to wait until I get home for that.

Dancing by myself might attract a little too much attention. Unless Hannah rides along? That's a thought. I'll need to think about it.

"Always. Not that I expect to have a full dance card."

Hannah bursts into giggles, and it takes until I walk onto the quad before she manages to contain them.

"You're so innocent, it's hilarious, Jay. If you aren't with the squad, some other girl is going to snap you up."

I can't tell if Hannah is masking after last night. She's dolling herself up for the dance to give me, or maybe even herself, the illusion of control. Acting so normal. It's almost like last night didn't happen, and I hope Hannah doesn't see me frowning at her.

We need to have another talk, but tomorrow, maybe at the mall?

"What are you talking about?"

"Boys," Hannah says as she rolls her eyes. "You noticed girls looking at you today, right?"

Okay, yes, I did notice that. What's Hannah's point? Part of me wants to be frustrated with her. She should just tell me what's going on,

I honestly think the past few days have caused Hannah to fall into old, bad habits. I'm hanging out with the cheerleaders, so she assumes I'm aware of these social games.

It makes me feel clueless, and I hate it.

"Yeah, it's weird."

"John, we only have a minute before you're with the squad, so I'll be quick. You're hanging out with the cool girls; that makes you cool. That means people will want to get close to you. It's like a stamp of approval - you're quality. You always have been, but people are seeing it now. Especially with how you’re dressed."

I shiver as Hannah throws an arm around my shoulder and leans against me, and then it's too late to respond, and I'm really starting to feel like a dead man walking. Pretty ironic, considering Hannah and all.

"Hi, John." A chorus of girls say, all smiling at me as I sit down. I really want time to talk to Hannah, especially where we just cut off, but fine.

"Hi." And I wave like an idiot, and the girls think so, too, based on the giggling. "So, can I run, or is it too late for that?"

"Much too late, John," Layla says, and I can almost imagine the noose tightening around my neck.

"Shoot. Go easy on me, at least?" Somehow, the grins surrounding me get wider. I really just wanted to reconnect with Payton, and I absolutely don't regret doing it. All these extra strings are just more than I was prepared for.

"So, to get it out of the way. You look very nice; Caroline grabbed that shirt, right?"

Caroline nods before I can; that makes things easier.

"Yeah, it's one of two she found for me." Hannah's rubbing my back. She can tell I'm stressed, and the chill is actually helping.

"What are you wearing tonight?" And every single one of them leans in.

"Something cute, duh." Hannah's hand stops, and I blink. Why did I say that?

Thankfully, the girls giggle as if they had half-expected that answer. Layla looks thoughtful, though; I wonder why?

"Well, now, John. I hope you can pay off that boast."

Hannah leans against me and whispers in my ear. I'm not sure why; it isn't like anyone can hear her. "Tell her it's a bet."

"It's a bet."  And I repeat it without thinking. Hannah! You’re supposed to be on my side!

I thought the grins were wide before, but now it's like I'm surrounded by a sea of perfectly white teeth. Maybe a landmine wouldn't be the worst thing right now. It would at least be quick

"Well, well, John. I didn't know you had it in you." Layla says, while Caroline has to cover her mouth to try and keep the giggles down.

What did Hannah just get me into, and more importantly, why? The last time she did something like this, it was 'Cheerleader secrets', and it got me into this mess.

Okay, that is mean. The girls have been honestly great. Being part of a team, even on the edge, has been really lovely.

Yes, I've been flailing a lot, but I've been happier, so maybe that is worth some added stress. Besides, Hannah has been thriving, and that's worth anything to me. I'll interrogate her later.

"Team forfeit?" Zoey says suddenly, and then things get very loud.

"Definitely," Emily and Amelia say at the same time, and thankfully, yesterday's trip to the mall let me learn their names before someone realised I didn't know them.

That would have been embarrassing.

"Lunch is almost over, and you, John, have something you're supposed to be doing," Layla says suddenly, cutting off the rest of the girls from whatever they were about to say and causing them to all break out into giggles.

I do?

Kristy catches my eye and nods. Wait, are they serious? Even now. I thought we sorted this all out between yesterday and today? I still really don't like this, and it's incredibly tempting to dig my heels in and just not go along with their scheme.

Asking Kristy to the dance is stupid; she doesn't like me, and I don't like her.

Before I can get too stubborn, though, Hannah crouches in front of me with a smile. "I know how you feel about this, Jay, but just ask Kristy. It isn't a big deal, honest."

Fine!

Okay, if I'm going to do this. I'm going to do this properly. Flowers would be lovely, and then I start to smile as something occurs to me.

The squad is watching me as I start digging into my backpack - for a second, I'm sure they thought I was going to storm off.

Frankly, it's tempting.

It only takes a minute to find my sketchbook and start flipping through the pages—no, not that one. Hmm, no. Ah! Perfect.

I carefully remove the page and set the rest of my things down before I walk over to where Kristy is sitting and extend a hand.

There's even more giggling and a lot more eyes on us. Kristy rolls her eyes, but there's a hint of a smile as she takes my hand, and I pull her to her feet.

"I'm sorry they're not real, but if you're willing to ignore that. These are for you." And I extend the sketch of a bouquet I did over the summer. "And I would really like it if you would even consider allowing me the honour of taking you to the dance tonight."

There's a sharp gasp from somewhere behind me before Madison says. "Holy shit."

Kristy glances around, and she's definitely amused but nods approvingly. "That depends, am I your first choice?"

Oh, is that how she wants to play this?

"Kristy, you're the only choice."

"Then yes, you can take me to the dance. Thanks for the flowers. I'll pick you up at seven." Kristy leans in and brushes her lips across my cheek, and I only understand why when she whispers. "Finally, but thanks for making it special." Before pulling away.

The entire squad starts crowding around the two of us, and Hannah grabs me in a tight hug. For a few minutes, I just relax, surrounded by my friends while their chattering washes over me.