“Rise and shine, Wisky~!”
The first thing that happened today was my sisters, dragging me out of my room.
“Why are you so agitated today?!” It was too much even for them.
“Wisky, we ain’t gonna eat without you! Pick up your butt and let’s go!” (NJ)
“Fine, I’m going. At least tell me what you’re planning.”
“Of course we are having some barbecue today!” (Mo)
I had to accept that it is another beefeaters’ day. Those guys never eat anything but roasted beef.
The plaza near the dormitories was turned into barbecue heaven and the smell of roasting meat spreads around the Academy, attracting more and more people.
I was standing on the outskirts, looking at the commotion.
“Why are you standing here, alone~?” The freak asked me from behind.
“What am I supposed to be doing? It’s Big Sis’ work, not mine. Entertaining the bystanders is that clown’s work. And what have you forgotten between my legs?” I asked the freak, who was lying on her back right below me.
“I’m just enjoying the sun.” (NJ)
“DIE!”
‘Stomp’
The barbecue festival was proceeding as they planned: people were coming here, and eating our stock of meat. The only problem is that neither of us ate anything but lemonade.
I was getting tired of standing in a corner but I couldn’t distract my sisters.
While I was pondering what to do, the platinum blonde approached me.
“Aha! You are standing here, so you might as well do something for me!” I looked at her with no interest.
“Come with me!” (PB)
“Why would I?”
“You are not coming…?” She tilted her head.
“Really…?” She looked like Big Sis, when she’s refused.
“W-well, I might spare a minute for the likes of you. It’s not because I need your company.”
I followed her and ended up in a small group of people. They went to the center of the festival and approached Missouri.
“Who dared challenging me? Are you tired of living, Morta…?Oh, Wisky, how’s it going?” (Mo)
“Hey, what’s going on?” Even a weirdo like her wouldn’t wear that eyepatch for no reason. Not to mention that stupid holey cloak.
“The one who wins against me in a challenge shall have a reward bestowed by the Great Fire Demon! So, my Kin, have you come here to challenge me?” Now I understand how Iowa feels whenever we do something obnoxious.
“Spit it out… At least some…” …entertainment.
“Ufu-fu~, fine! If you insist on challenging Me, then come forth!” (Mo)
I was ready for anything, even the most stupid of things but I never expected that when I cross the crowd of bystanders I would see…
“D4.” (Mo)
“Hit…” My poor battleship!
“H1.” It must be there.
“Miss.” Argh!
“D5.” (Mo)
“Sunk…”
“That should be it. I’ve won~!” (Mo)
“Just where did you hide that destroyer?!” She flipped the board and I saw it…
“H2, Wisky. Too close~.” Argh! AAAAARGH!
“Try again the next time~! Who will dare challenging me now?” I walked away in shame.
While I was wandering around, I walked into a table. Big Sis was serving the table.
“Are we going to have some chaw soon?”
“You bet, Wisky. Can you, please, help me with the plates?” (IA)
“Hm, I might as well do it. Since you will bring the meat faster.”
“Whatever you say~.” The two of us did everything in a moment, and the suffering battleships lined up nearby.
Missouri and New Jerksey were chatting, and I felt like the freak was taunting Mo.
“What happened?” I was too curious to leave it like that.
“Nothing. Just a Big sister’s reminder of who’s in charge~.” (NJ)
“You jest, Sis. She just won the Battleship, nothing more. I’ll win the next one.” (Mo)
“No way~!” (NJ)
Meanwhile, the plates of smoking brown steaks arrived in slender hands of Iowa.
We all sat down, and I finally looked into the plate.
“Big Sis, I love you~!” Pork! It’s Pork!
“Ufu-fu~! I’m glad you like it~!” Iowa was melting from happiness, while the freak was melting from lust.
As the plates were emptied, the crowds dispersed, and the coals cooled, I headed back home.
It was a ni… acceptable day. I may’ve had some fun but not too much. Especially with that freak lurking around.
I might as well read some bo…
“Where are you going? Let’ go back~!” Missouri caught the collar of my shirt and dragged me back.
“What now?!” I was mad at my sisters.
“Iowa-class, line up!” (IA)
Not again… I’m so tired of those drills…
“Ready the guns!” (IA)
The rammers started pushing the shells and the powder bags inside the guns.
“Iowa, guns ready!” (IA)
“New Jersey, guns ready!” (NJ)
“Missouri, spells ready!” (Mo)
“Wisconsin, can I go home already?”
“On my mark! FIRE!” (IA)
BOOM BOOM BOOM
BOOM BOOM BOOM
BOOM BOOM BOOM
BOOM BOOM BOOM
“The first salute is out, ready the next!” (IA)
[The entire Academy remembered this night. It was a hellish night, when the windows were shaking, and ears were ringing. Only by the midnight the crazy battleships stopped firing 16’’ guns, and turned to firing the 5’’ and Boforses. Not a single soul slept well.
Little did they know, that this madness will be repeated the next year. And the year after that, and so on.]
Amuricans still use imperial system tho
Only few people can understand what all those in, ft, lbs, and other unknown letters mean. Even less can use them properly. Even less of the less can fool yankee.
@AFP_Writer and those few people that knows are twitter puritan and Karens.