I regretted waking up just about immediately.

My head was throbbing like never before. I groaned, or I would have if it hadn’t turned into a painful cough. My throat felt sore and my lungs hurt. I opened my eyes and saw nothing. I was seated in the dark. Why was it so dark, though? My glowing veins were not working. Lukewarm water lapped at my feet. I wiggled my toes and rolled my ankles—I could feel both of my feet! I had thought that I’d be a cripple for the rest of my life, but I was proven wrong. I kicked out with both legs, splashing around in the water and laughing. Then coughing. Damn, I was about to die.

A faint light shone from somewhere up and behind me. I turned around in my seat gingerly, but a wave of pain shot up to my shoulders and my neck anyway. It took me a while, blinking in the dark, but I finally realized what I was looking at. The escape pod had an opening in the back, through which I saw the dark night sky. The night sky of Nerilia, I supposed. The Inspector had said that she would send me back to the planet.

I slipped out of the seat and fell to my knees and into the water. I would have to climb to reach the exit, but almost my entire body was aching and hurting. Only my legs felt fine, and wasn’t that more than a little disturbing? Then I remembered Soul Eater. It didn’t hurt either! It hung from the dashboard like a bunch of soaked noodles, limp and misshapen. I reached out mentally, changing the material—and almost passing out from the pressure in my head. Orange light pulsed weakly beneath my skin. I grit my teeth and blinked the manly tears out of my eyes. Right; Soul Eater was sore too, I just happened to feel that in a different place.

Anyway, the exit wasn’t so high up that I had no chance to reach it. The escape pod was tilted at an angle; it must have crashed nose-first to the ground. I began to climb, groan, and cough some more. The more I moved my arms the less they hurt, however. I reached the exit and fell right out of it, sliding down the metal surface of the pod and landing in a pile of sand. A very large pile of sand.

I was in a desert.

My collar flashed with a notification, but I ignored it and looked up at the sky instead. The moon had already dipped below the horizon, but the sun had yet to rise above the mountains in the distance. There wasn’t much light to see by, but I could already tell that this place was nowhere near Fortram or Skyward. This desert wasn’t even remotely similar to any of the places I knew. Sand dunes dominated the landscape with absolutely no sign of life. I had no idea where I was.

“Seems like the Southern Desert to me,” Suit said, her voice rough and dry. “From the look of those mountains, we’re on its eastern side.”

“That’s … far?”

“Very.”

“Oh,” I said, looking down at my feet. At my legs. They were slender and pale and hairless. A feminine pair of legs that had once belonged to a demon. They were part of me now, however ill-fitting they seemed. My legs, contrary to the rest of my body, were full of energy. Would they carry me across this desert, though?

“What do you want to do?” I asked. Come to think of it, it was weird that the shades had waited while I got used to my new feet. They were usually much quicker to jump into action. Getting used to new body parts was what they did all the time.

“What do you want to do?” Lee asked. “Your turn’s next.”

“Sorry?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “So we’re taking turns now?”

“Yes.”

“Well, I’m not going complain. We’ve overused our angel blood, so we don’t have much choice anyway.”

Silence.

“How long does my turn last?” I asked.

“We’ll see,” Suit replied. “Eight days or eighty years, it hardly matters from the perspective of immortals.”

“Huh. I had thought it would be more like eight hours.”

“Eight hours is nothing. You mortals have a skewed sense of time.”

“What, you don’t believe I can cross this desert in eight hours?”

Silence. They didn’t even laugh. Well, since we were sharing a body it would have looked like I was laughing at myself, so it was probably better that I didn’t laugh at all. That would have looked insane.

I stood around some more, looking left and right. It felt odd to make decisions again. Almost frightening. Sitting in the back, watching the shades pilot my body had freed me of responsibilities. Now, though, it was back in my hands. It was up to me to make mistakes and own up to them. I took a step forward.

“You should check your notifications first,” Wolf said. “They might be important.”

Oh, right. I was back in this stupid game. I activated my collar with a surprisingly pain-free mental command, and the air in front of me exploded into a multitude of windows. I stumbled back by instinct but the damn things chased after me. My eyes widened at the sight—this was a lot of text! Did I really need to read them all? I cursed some more, then started on the top.

Quest updated: Shades of the Moon
+1 Feat
Congratulations, your level has increased!
Level 31 reached.

These notifications were about Tanaka’s death. Truthfully, I had almost forgotten; it felt like it happened a lifetime ago. Evidently, it had been a Feat-worthy deed to convince the other shadebound Player to commit suicide. Shocking as this was, the next notification was doubly so.

Achievement obtained: Godslayer
You’re the first Player to kill an Inspector.
+1 Feat
Congratulations, your legend has risen!
Legend 5 reached.

I didn’t like this one bit. Why were they acknowledging this so gracefully? On the moon, they had been doing their best to kill me—or more precisely to arrange my death in an exciting fashion. They had failed, and now that I had slipped the noose I got an achievement? Disturbing, no matter how I looked at it. Either they didn’t really care that an Inspector had died or it had been their plan all along. Was it really an Inspector I had killed or just a fake body? It had to be real. Suit had possessed him and acquired some of his memories. I stared at the text for a while, letting it sink in.

Achievement obtained: Godslayer

I hadn’t even known that there was an achievement system in place. Perhaps they made it up only after I killed the Inspector? They gave me a Feat and patted my back as if such things were perfectly acceptable. As if murdering an Inspector was fine by them. And what if it really was? I wondered how much these Inspectors liked each other. Could it be that my Inspector – the woman in charge of me – actually wanted to see this other Inspector dead? I had assumed that by staying in the back of my mind, I had hidden my intentions from her. What if she had always known what I was planning, but she had let me do it anyway? I remembered her cheerful tone in the escape pod. Had it been an act or was she truly pleased with me? I couldn’t tell.

One thing was certain, however: I remained a pawn. I had flipped the table and smashed the game board, but my Inspector had been ready with a spare. She had kept her cool even in the chaos I had created. She had outplayed me and perhaps her peers as well.

The final boss of this twisted game was a clever one.

I didn’t feel bitter about it. I didn’t feel angry and I didn’t feel sad. I didn’t despair. Perhaps I had yet to earn complete freedom, but I was still alive. So long as I drew a breath, I would try again. I knew it. My Inspector knew it. The Pheilett knew it. They would be twice as careful next time, and I would be twice as insidious.

But for now, I had more notifications to read.

Disability received: Abandoned by the gods
You’ve bitten the hand that fed you. You’re no longer allowed to enter World Seeds.

“What?!”

I gaped at the text. Usually, Players got these Disabilities if they didn’t do any Quests and didn’t go on any adventure. But I had been doing plenty of exciting stuff! I got a Disability simply because I murdered an Inspector and unleashed a demon on the moon? This was outrageous! Without the World Seed’s messenger function, I wouldn’t be able to message Devi that I was going to be late! She was going to think that I was never coming back…

“Sure,” Tamie said sourly, “but being locked out of the World Seed also means that we lost access to our Player Allowance. All that money that made us rich? Gone.”

“Yeah, whatever,” I said. “We’ve got plenty of assets in Fortram. But Devi—”

“Also,” Suit said, “we won’t be able to change our Abilities when we unlock more of them, because it’s done in the World Seed too. And we lost access to all of those log files.”

“I couldn’t care less, but—”

“Also,” Lee said, “your floating coin experiment and that hill of gold coins will be lost forever. Your efforts to mess with the World Seed were wasted.”

“Gods damn it!” I threw up my hands, then winced from the pain in my shoulders. “Now they’ve done it. These Inspectors have gone too far.”

“Yeah. But wait, there’s more!”

I let out a long sigh, then read the next entry.

Disability received: Forged by circumstance
Your fifth and final Ability has been chosen for you.

Devour, level 1
Description: Your bonded weapons are able to feast on demon blood, consuming it at an accelerated rate. Cooldown decreases by level. Rate of absorption increases by level.
Cost: ???
Cooldown: 30 seconds
This Ability comes with a gift. Would you like to receive it now?
[Yes / No]

I eyed the last line suspiciously. The last time I pressed Yes on a prompt like this, I got stabbed in the heart with Soul Eater. This Ability was the result of a random Disability. It was supposed to be a bad thing, wasn’t it? Or perhaps robbing me of the option to choose my fifth Ability was the real punishment, but the Ability itself wasn’t a bad one. Argh. My throbbing head wasn’t up to so much thinking. I pressed yes.

Two small items appeared in front of me and dropped down into the sand. Obsidian daggers with orange gemstones in them. It wasn’t difficult to guess what they were; they had once been Tanaka’s weapons, the ones that the late Inspector had almost bound to my body. The intention behind this Devour Ability was quite obvious now.

“Ah,” I stammered. “I’m sorry guys, but I don’t think I’m up to devouring these two. Two new shades … two new residents in my head … it would be too much right now.”

“No problem,” Suit said. “There’s no rush. We should get more comfortable with each other first.”

“Yeah,” Tamie said. “The last thing we need right now is two lethargic shades with suicidal tendencies. Don’t get me wrong, I want to free them—but not like this. They would be a liability.”

“Alright,” I said, sighing in relief. “Thanks. If we can, we’ll find another way to set them free.”

For the time being, I left the daggers in the sand and continued reading my notifications.

Achievement obtained: Demonic touch
You’re the first Player to be touched by a demon and retain their free will.
+1 Feat

Considering that demons were most likely not allowed to roam free on this planet, I supposed it wasn’t much of a surprise that I was the first.

Achievement obtained: Demonic mutation
You’re the first Player to transcend their mortal limits and own a demonic body part.
+1 Feat

I wasn’t sure what transcending my mortal limits entailed, but I wiggled my toes in the sand and they felt really good. I liked this achievement.

Achievement obtained: Demon trickster
You’re the first Player to trick a demon and live to tell the tale.
+1 Feat

I wasn’t sure which part of the night this achievement was referring to, but it became painfully obvious that I was receiving all these Feats because they didn’t matter anymore. Feats were good for raising my legend, which unlocked new Abilities—but since I already had five Abilities and I wasn’t allowed to swap them out in the World Seed, the surplus didn’t actually matter.

Ugh. I was beginning to realize how much of the game I had been locked out of. I had never been very enthusiastic about being a good little obedient Player, so I had no right to complain … but if I was honest, I kinda liked the Abilities part of it. Teleporting to Soul Eater and teleporting it into my hand had become second nature to me. I still had that. I still had Seize too, so even if I was no longer able to change my current set of Abilities, I had the option to temporarily gain any one of them. So, yeah—the Pheilett punished me, but they didn’t take everything from me. Why did I feel so glad for it? I was such a hypocrite…

Quest received: Fallen off the Moon

This was the last bit of notification, and when I thought about reading the Quest in detail—

Fallen off the Moon
Description: You fled from the Moon and got stranded far from home.
Objective: Find your way back to Fortram.
Rewards: 50000 credits to your Player Allowance, unlock the Fast Travel option in the World Seed menu

“Bastards,” I grumbled. “They just had to rub it in, huh? Well, what if I don’t intend to go back to Fortram at all? After reading this, I’m very tempted.”

I closed the holographic screens and gazed into the desert. The top half of the sun had already risen above the distant mountains, painting the sky orange and making the sand dunes cast long shadows. A warm breeze stirred, carrying the sand from one dune to the next. No trees, no tall structures, nothing to hide under once the sun climbed high up the sky. My naked body shivered at that thought.

“I’m going to get a sunburn,” I said, patting my own shoulders. “Goodbye, bruised skin. We’re about to part ways soon.”

I tried to find the bright side of this. In spite of my first impressions, there was some life out here. Some brownish crawling plants and some dry bushes, getting denser in the distance. Perhaps this place wasn’t so desolate—I just had to walk a bit. My Inspector surely didn’t send me into a death trap, right? I would eventually make my way out to the vast world beyond. I knew I would.

I had seen from the moon how enormous Nerilia was. Full of places to explore, and now I had a chance to visit them. All of those places. I hadn’t really bothered before, had I? I had just settled in the first city I came across and lived there, glad to find some measure of safety and calm behind Fortram’s tall walls … except it hadn’t really been all that calm. I should have explored more of the world before settling down. I hadn’t done so, but … I could do it now.

The necklace around my neck felt heavy all of a sudden. I lifted the chain and closed my hand around Devi’s horn. Was this a shackle that bound me? Perhaps, but it was also a promise to myself. A promise to do better, a promise to try my best. It didn’t have to be that way, of course. I was free to move on.

Fortram had many people waiting for me. Many familiar faces. Friends, even, though not very close ones. Stanley, Imaya, Erika, Tora … I hadn’t been a good friend to any of them. It would have been easy to blame the shades for not caring about those lowly mortals—but the truth was that even before they took absolute control over our body, I hadn’t really gone out of my way to be a good friend. I had done nothing to get to know my companions better. Indeed, the only relationship I had put any effort into was the one with Devi.

My hand tightened around her severed horn. Oh, she would be so pissed if she saw me hesitate right now! She was the real reason I wore these chains to Fortram. The shades cared about the city only as a stepping stone, and I wasn’t all that interested in ruling it either. I had tried to fix Fortram’s problems – many of which I had caused in the first place – but without Devi on my side, I wasn’t quite sure that I would have ever bothered. She was the one who had the drive to make things better. She was pulling me along, tugging at my heart, captivating me with her determination. I had let myself be seduced, and Sarah had already taught me how dangerous that was. I wasn’t very good at relationships, but I could take a good look at myself and see that I was repeating my past mistakes.

I let Devi’s horn drop back to my chest. I wasn’t just going to let her pull me, push me, prod me in whatever direction she wanted me to go. I had to think of myself. I had to think of my shades. I had to do what was best for us. Devi had been a great influence to keep me motivated, but it was time to do things for myself. I made up my mind.

“We’re going back to Fortram,” I said, taking a step forward.

I stumbled right away.

“Wait—what?”

“I’m going back to Devi and my friends.”

“…why?”

I shrugged. “This is what feels right.”

“What about exploring the wide world out there?”

“I’ll think about it after I reunited with Devi.”

I began to walk. I trudged through the sand in silence, straining my new legs. Going uphill was more difficult than I would have thought. After a while, the shades spoke again.

“Well, we are not against going back. All of our contacts and investments are in Fortram, so it’s a solid decision.”

“Right?” I grunted. “It feels right and it makes sense.”

“We aren’t quite sure how much sense it makes, considering your earlier thoughts. Haven’t you decided on taking an independent route? On trying to be this wholly new and better person who thinks for himself?”

“That would be great,” I said as I reached the top of the sand dune, “but something like that isn’t going to happen overnight. There’s no contradiction here, anyway. I can be independent with Devi as my partner.”

“…whatever you say, Roland. You’re in charge.”

“That’s right,” I said. “You said it’s my turn now, and I’ve made my decision. We’re going back to Fortram. Trust me, it will be epic.”

The sun rose higher, and I squinted my eyes against its light. Perhaps I was a different person, perhaps I wasn’t. Perhaps I had learned a lesson, perhaps I hadn’t. Whatever was the case, I had chosen my path. I had gone through a whole lot, and yet I wasn’t broken. I was back for more. Moving forward. Unstoppable.

I walked off into the sunrise.

“…uh.”

I stopped.

“What is it?” I asked.

“You’re walking to the east,” Suit said, “but Fortram is to the northwest from here.”

“Oh,” I said, changing course quickly. The sunlight hit me from the side now, which from an outside perspective looked a lot less epic. “Thanks for the correction.”

“Also, we’re in a desert,” Lee said. “The only source of water around here is in that crashed escape pod.”

I stopped. Licked my dry lips. Swallowed with my sore throat.

“You’re right,” I said, changing directions again. “That water is probably not the cleanest, but I should drink before I go.”

“You should reshape Soul Eater into a flask and bring some water with you,” Tamie said. “As much as you can carry.”

“Right—”

“And don’t forget the two extra daggers you got from that Quest,” Wolf said. “You almost left them behind!”

“Oh—”

“And you should take a closer look at the escape pod, see if we can salvage—”

“Now hold on a second!” I said, crossing my arms. “Who did you say was in charge here, you or me?”

“…you.”

“That’s right,” I said, nodding seriously. I then did absolutely everything they told me to do.

Thus began my new and independent life.