Please accept this letter as my formal resignation from being the Chosen One.
Yeah, yeah, laugh all you want but I had to try it. I figured it might be within my rights to resign, though of course you still haven't shown me the job description. Anyway, my reasons for resigning are simple: I'm neither a gamer nor a hero. I think you got the wrong person for the job.
Sure, the pay is decent. I could pretty much live like a king if I had the time for it. But my main concerns are about the constant health hazards and the demonic dagger bound to my soul. I didn't ask to be transported to this fantasy land either, so I'd like you to return me home, thank you very much. I don't want supernatural powers, I don't want any of these quests, and I don't want to be a test subject for you to puppet around. A hefty paycheck doesn't really compensate for going insane and dying a violent death, you know?
Thank you for your understanding, and I hope that you will find a better replacement.
Randel, the Mad Painter