In such moment of crisis, Rem pitied Luxinna greatly.

“Cy, please,” the goddess backed the elf into the corner, Luxinna’s spunk evaporated into the wind. “I don’t want to do this!”

Sadly, Cytortia was merciless. She moved in with great momentum and baffling efficiency.

“Okay Lux,” Cytortia smiled adorably. “Between this cute dress with frills and this blouse with green-tea pattern which one do you want. Oh, I also have this half-shirt with gold-gliding and bare midriff.”

“NOOOO!!! Rem help!!!!”

Alas, Rem already shopped for his cloth, left the counter and planted his foot outside the store.

“Eh,” Cytortia blinked, distracted for a second. “You’re finished?”

“I am finished?” Rem twitched dangerously. “Do you know how many hours my mother played dress up with Jeane? I had to learn how to pick clothes quickly to avoid wasting an eternity in the fitting room?”

Cytortia and Luxinna looked at Rem. The boy changed out of the black uniform into a white long-sleeve shirt, deep blue baggy-jeans, and a black-cotton jacket. He also sported a white leather belt. Both of them admitted that aside from the belt, Rem knew how to dress.

“Help me then!” Luxinna called out for salvation. “Cy will swallow me whole!”

“There, there and there,” Rem pointed to several shelves across the store. “That is my tips. Stay alive until I finish buying the Ice Cream”

“Yeah, let go, Lux!” Cytortia started dragging the defeated Luxinna for another fitting session.

The scream was haunting.

...

Luxinna survived the ordeal, but not intact. She exchanged her black costume for a yellow short-sleeve blouse with a low neckline, a form-fitting jean, and simple leather sandals. A golden streak of the highlight was visible in her hairs.

“The neckline suit you,” Rem complimented.

“Cy wanted the bare midriff,” Luxinna trembled. “This is the best compromise I can give her.”

“Don’t be like that!” the cheerful goddess smiled. “But seriously, Lux, I can’t believe you have a gut to go for a flashy highlight like that.”

“Yeah,” Lux said, touching her golden strand. “I don’t want to get associated with pure-charcoal hair right now.”

“You changed your name to Latoria to huh,” Rem nodded. “Try to avoid your family that much.”

“As I can,” Luxinna pointed at the fountain. “Do you recognize the elf on the fountain?”

“Mia Alusto,” Cytortia stated. “One of the most talented elf ever born. She was a Child of Spirit, with powerful affinities in Earth, Ice, Water, Space, and Air. An elf who remains undefeated throughout her life. Legend told her power rivaled the pantheon themselves.”

“Yes, and everyone uses her as a measuring stick of how much an elf can accomplish,” Luxinna stated. “She is technically my great, great, grandaunt and the hero of the elves. She had her hand in everything. There is no getting away from her. Mia co-founded libraries, university, and even political factions. Her images and teaching are pretty much everywhere.”

“I can’t even walk into the library without throwing up,” Cytortia made a face.

“Judging from your tone there are more to her,” Rem said.

“Rem, this woman claimed power holds absolute above anything else,” Luxinna said. “She taught that magic is a the universe' gift for the prosperity of its favored children. My father are convinced that the elf is the favored species.”

“Or the gods,” Cytortia suggested sarcastically. “Or the demons. Many people use her words as a tool to subjugate other races. Given her race, she was probably talking about the elves. But how many cares about facts when you can twist the text? LinLey sure don’t.”

“My father is her staunch believers, you know,” Luxinna mused. “‘All races are worthy, but some are worthier than others.’ He often taught us that, but I can’t bring myself to agree.”

The situation was too depressing for their morale. Rem decided that he need to change the mood.

“Well, it is good you never listen to her,” he said. “Real-life hero will let you down. Why do you think I believe in the fictional one?”

Then Rem frowned.

“Now that I think about it, do you forget to buy something? Does anyone want to join me?”

“Zu ur right, yano,” said a voice with a weird accent said next to him. “Za forgot sometin, yano.”

The trio stared in front of them.

The source of the voice materialize.

It was... a giant golden Octopus wearing a shade.

....

They stared for a solid three seconds.

“What is that?” Lux started.

“An octopus,” Cytortia answered dumbly. “A very gold and very weird octopus.”

“What is an octopus?” asked Luxinna aka Ms. I-spent-my-entire-life-in-a-forest.

“An invertebrate water creature the Japanese turn to Sushi,” Rem nodded admiringly. “I can understand why. Given the limited resource available on an island nation, they learn how to make this thing into food. Japan is truly a land of culture aside from that nasty invention call power of friendship.”

“We can eat it!?” Luxinna’s eyes turned savage — too savage.

“Nyoooooo yano!!!!!” The octopus wailed, flailing its arm in fright. “Ya can’t eat me yano! Boss ill be mad, yano!”

“Wait,” Cytortia leaned dangerously close. “You have a boss?”

“Yano!” The octopus cheered. “Da Center’s Queen Yano!!!!.”

Rem did a spit take.

“Satholia sent you here!”

The octopus stood up and spat out a card. The trio knew that object well. They each possessed that all too important card.

It was the Status ID.

“Boss says this ill explains things yano!”

...

ZA WA
The Shop-o-pus
Str: 10 [E]
End: 55,050 [SS]
Mag: 300 [C]
Wis: 200 [D]
Dex: 3 [F]

Skill

Active
Slot [C]
Manufacturer [S]
Storage Bag [C]
Analysis [Ex]
Magic Ink [A]

Passive
Immortality [SSS]
Boneless [A]
Blessing of Center [Ex]

...

Stunned silence defined that nest for ten-seconds.

“The Octopus has Status ID,” Luxinna’s mind journeyed to Mar.

“What the hell was the value of that endurance,” Cytortia said in disbelief. “Even my master END is not that high.”

“Obviously. He is Satholia’s pet,” Rem commented.

“Then how is he so weak?” Cytortia replied. “His DEX is 3, F-rank for heaven sakes.”

“There must be an explanation,” Luxinna stated blankly. “Maybe Cytortia wrote her explanation behind the card. Eva loves doing that to troll Magnolia.”

Cytortia cringed.

“Eva has terrible taste in many things.” Cytortia refused to believe such possibilities. “That is why I am sure that-”

Rem held up the ID.

“There is a message behind the card.”

The young goddess fell to her knees, dug her head in her palms and screamed out in frustration. The muffled cries of the goddess’s frustration were audible to everyone.

“So pitiful,” Luxinna glanced pitifully at the goddess. “Destiny must hate you so much.”

Rem read the letter.

‘Dear My Homies,

Hello, I hope you do well. I am trying to help you as much as I oud without the world cracking itself in half. Luckily, I found another way to exploit the world’s coding-error. Although direct aid is not possible, I can still send my pet to help you for a couple more times until the world update a patch.

Let lay it out in MMO’s term; Za Wa is all your item store’s menu rolled into one. However, because of the world’s restriction, I can only send him down in his weakened form. Feed him raw material and resource to pump him up to his original capacity.

To order him to use his Skills, say ‘By my command! Za Wa uses 'fill-the-blank’.

Love,

Satholia’

Magnolia and Luxinna stared at the card, totally in awe.

“Wow, I can’t believe the goddess of all good in the Universe is this much of a cheater,” the elf’s emotion laid dead.

The nature goddess was even deader than the elf.

“Of course, she is a cheater,” she said self-deprecatingly. “Look at the collection of losers she’d gathered to save the world.”

Rem sat on the floor in thought for a second before sighing.

“By my command! Za Wa use Slot!” Rem shouted, causing several passersby looked at him as if he was a crazy street-performer.

The Octopus glowed.

[Slot Activate! Remus Breaker—3 rolled available!]

Za Wa vibrated and spat out three eggshells. One is Yellow, one orange and one red. All three quivered and popped simultaneously.

[C-rank: Silver Silhouette Revolver set, D-rank: Blueprint Card [C], E-rank: White Fedora]

The slot’s wares shone before of Rem: a silver revolver and three boxes of twenty bullets, a blank orange card, and fashionably white fedora, Ignoring the stares of his companion, Rem put on a fedora and praise the nature.

“What happened?” said the stunned Luxinna.

“One of Za Wa function is a slot-machine,” Rem said. “A roulette to get something useful for our mission.”

Rem showed the goddess the gun.

“How do we check this-“

[Allow me,] said a voice in his head, namely Central. [I should have taught you this ability a long time ago and please check your status card after this too]

Information flashed into his head.

…

Silver Silhouette

Rank: C

Ability:
Handling Improvement [D]
Anti-Jamming [A]
Mana Ignition [B]

Origin: Satholia’s Original

Info: Silver Silhouette was a six-barrel revolver, handcrafted by Satholia as part of her hobbies. It boasted a 1st generation Mana Ignition system she invented, charging mana from the atmosphere and igniting it to create propulsion force stronger than gunpowder. As a sign of admiration for its craftsmanship, the exalted one had modified the design of Ruger Redhawk as a base for this weapon, featuring supernaturally Anti-jamming and handling improvement.]

Anti-mage shell

Rank: D

Ability:
Magic Spiral [B]

Origin: Satholia’s Original

Info: A set of 0.44 Magnum bullet designed by Satholia to counter Magic user. Satholia herself devised this invention as part of hobbies. The bullet’s groves and material contained a unique microstructure that created a Mana spiral once the special powder in the ammunition ignites. Once fire the Magic Spiral act like a magical armor piercing round for magic and solid object.

Use with caution.

Fedora

Rank: [N/A]

Info: A simple fedora — Duh

…

Luxinna looked at Rem’s roll wide-eye.

“This look fun,” she grinned. “Let me try this too. By my Command! Zawa use Slot.”

Za Wa vibrated and got to work. Three eggs with the color of violet, Green, and Blue spat out from the Octopus. Rem nearly puked when he saw the result.

[S-rank: Mayaa Teardrop, A-rank: Starlight Core, B-rank: Tag of World Spirit’s Blessing]

It often said that some people were born lucky.

Luxinna was a case-study.

…

Mayaa Teardrop

Rank: S

Origin: Nature Miracles

Info: Material necessary for a weapon to gain sentience. Rare.

Starlight Core

Rank: A

Origin: Supreme Magic Gems.

Info: A magic gem that formed by condensation of Starlight by a rare species of moss. The energy it gave was a blessing from the cosmos itself.

Tag of World Spirit’s Blessing

Rank: B

Origin: Inverse Side

Info: A tag created by the native of the Inverse Side. Capable of granting an object an authority over the aspect of Mana itself. The potency and characteristics of the authority are proportional to the rarity of the object.

…

“God rolls,” Rem nearly collapsed on his knees. “How could anyone get this lucky?”

Luxinna, picking up several treasures that will make kingdoms bled themselves dry, turned back and sheepishly pull out her tongue.

“You might not know this, but I never lost a gamble,” Luxinna pridefully declared before glancing at the sky melancholically. “The only time my luck fails me was when I got lightning for my magic.”

Rem nodded, but behind the elf, Cytortia disagreed. Luxinna batted a jackpot with lightning. What was the odds of being born with such powerful abilities in the race that could exploit it to its very fullest? The goddess frowned. Now that she thought about it. Luxinna’s luck was absurd. Anyone stuck in a forest with a World Enemy would be dead, but Luxinna not only made it because they was there, she got recruit it into a secret organization as its prodigious founding members, taught a Ferrari of supernatural power and mentored in combat by Scathach. All those absurd benefits at the price tag of zero. How could someone get that lucky?

The goddess stepped forward. For once in years, she felt hopeful. Slot-machine couldn’t be that hard, right?

Cytortia grinned excitedly.

“By my command! Zawa use Slot!”

Za Wa glowed mightily and unleashed the catastrophe that would terrify any men and women, no matter how brave they were.

2 Red eggs and an Orange one flew to the air and smashed down like the stock market in crisis.

[F-rank: Chewing Gum, F-rank: Participation Trophy, D-rank: Weid plant.]

The result even bled a drop of pity from Rem’s famine infested heart.

…

Chewing Gum

Rank: F

Info: We are sorry, but this is what you get. Cheer up! There will be a next time.

The next one was equally despairing.

Participation Trophy

Rank: F

Info: Don’t give up. You did well! Hang in there, and you will leap over the rainbow one day.

Weird Plant

Rank: D

Origin: $%@K

Info: A weird plant from XXXXX; treat with caution. Some rumor said the plant is haunted

…

Cytortia looked at her rolls in strange, wide eyes. Her brain tried but failed to deny the reality right in front of her.

“Hey Rem,” the girl stuttered. “The rolled is good, right? There is a hidden stat, right?”

Rem and Luxinna shook their head as reality rained. The roll was so junk that even whaling couldn’t save Cytortia’s fortune.

The world was a cruel, unstable mess, but something remained constant. People die when they are killed. Characters with no vulnerability is unrelatable. Sunscreen is good for your health. Warframe is god’s gift to this sinful Earth.

Money couldn’t buy luck.

The curtain fell as the goddess’s scream of despair echoed sky-ward.

...

Rem Breaker
Paladin (class upgrade)
Stat
Str: 145 [E]
End: 218 [D]
Mag: 308 [C]
Wis: 488 [C]
Dex: 199 [D]

Skill

Active
Arrival of Dream [N/A]
Calm mind [A]
Simplicity Blade [C]
Supercharge [A] (convert from Magic Charge [B])
Knife Throwing [D]
Analysis [B] (new)

Passive
Territory [E]
Reality Breaker [Ex]
The Way of Optimism [N/A]