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Horizon Dawn
Horizon Dawn
8.2k Views 66 Favorites 49 Chapters 1 Chapters/Week 90 Readers
3.8 (10 ratings)
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Date 135 Days after Earth migrate Report By Chronicler

Horizon Dawn Log Report: Retracing

This report will go over the merging event of Earth, the events that had transpired in the last 135 days and, most importantly the formation of Horizon Dawn. To minimize the damage from a potential leak of this report, I am instructed to stick with code names.

135 Days ago the Earth has reached the Casualty Limit. Which means the entire planet was promoted into this new reality, a vast collection of words called Phantasia. The good news is Earth is the largest landmass to be integrated to Phantasia in this century. The slightly sour news is that this brings the attention of multiple factions. So far the Emma Enterprise and the Demonic Continent have fully taken over North Korea, and the Middle East. To date, 95% of South Korea and many regions in the Americas and Africas had been compromised.

And thus, the boss commission the creation of us, the Horizon Dawn.

Our mission: create a better world. Our obstacle: pretty much everyone else.

This war will be a hard one. But I believe in our vision. This Age of Heroes will be worth it.

Alchemy Artifact Crafting Beastkin Bookworm Calm Protagonist Clever Protagonist Enemies Become Lovers Fantasy World Heroes Magic Magical Technology Modern Day Multiple Transported Individuals Overpowered Protagonist Politics Secret Organizations
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      Status: c5
      Jan 22, 2019

      I read the first five chapters, and here is my impression. Overall, the story is okay. The plot is good, unique, has room to develop, and is interesting. However, one glaring mistake makes this story so much worse in my eyes. The grammar. A few mistakes are okay here and there, but there should not be multiple mistakes in every paragraph. What I recommend working on the most is verb tenses. To sum it up, "Read this story makes me want to jumped into a hole." This kind of grammar need to be fixed. Grammarly is a great tool to help with this, and you can also look up info about how to properly use verb tenses to help with your current issue. Also, you can always ask readers to help. I often point out mistakes I notice in the comments, so authors can fix them and improve. In fact, I was going to do that for this story, but there are simply too many mistakes to fix. However, I am still able to point out broader issues, such as improper tense usage. To sum it up, grammar makes the story so much less enjoyable than it should be. Many authors underestimate the importance of grammar, but I never see stories with bad grammar able to consistently stay at the top rankings. IF you want to improve as an English speaker and writer, fixing this should be your top priority.

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