GASP

God that was a vivid hairy ass nightmare. Maybe I'll write it down sometime.

Eh, probably not.

Regardless, it's morning and now I'm awake with a death grip on my poor little stuffie. It takes a minute for my brain to process that I'm still holding Beryllium, which means-

"Oh thank fuck." Delilah mumbles from face down on the floor he apparently rolled onto in the middle of the night before shooting up himself looking around like a Prarie Dog detecting predators.

"I mean, shoot. Guess we're stuck like this." he deadpans.

"Darn." I groan in reply. "That's too bad. I wonder why?"

"Seems like we're gonna have to give this more time."

"Gosh. Well I guess if we have to, might as well have some fun with it like we talked about."

We share a dumb little smirk before giving overdramatic teenager eyerolls and getting up.

I bound over to the (my?) closet and rummage like a starving racoon in a garbage truck. Only to find...

"Ugh Delilah, no offense but do you own anything besides jeans and hoodies?"

"Wow 24 hours and you've already rocking the mean girl vibe." He says, echoing from the bathroom down the hall and holy shit I need to find a synonym for mean girl that's like the 40th time I've used it.

It's in this haze of early morning grammar confusion that I walk into the guy while he's eyeing the same eternally present facial hair I scowled at yesterday, except this time there's a smile behind it.

"Um," I mutter while fidgeting with my sleeves cuz wow it's nerve wracking to say this out loud. "Do you have any girlier stuff tucked away somewhere? "

"Wha? Oh yeah under the bed I boxed all of that crap up. Dude, you could have a seriously sick goatee. I was joking about a douchey hipster thing last night but what if..."

He probably kept saying really smart words at me for a while, but there's no way in hell I'm listening to that idiot while i'm on the hunt for clothes I actually like eeeeeeeeeeeeeee

My head swivels around and I listen carefully for signs of anyone else stirring in the house, before thankfully realizing our folks have already left for the morning & should be gone for the next five chapters or so.

I find what I'm looking for in a box with a scuffed BIOHAZARD: DO NOT OPEN label I really hope isn't missing from a nearby electrical transformer.

After a quick fashion montage that looked really cool trust me, I settle on a black and white plaid, pleated skirt paired with a long sleeved navy blouse. I even find a matching blue hairband that ties the whole thing together!

It's a little small, guessing they stopped updating their feminine wardrobe a while ago. Hmm actually these would probably fit my old body

t v s t a t i c

Nope! Not thinking about that today! Kicking that can of worms down the road aww wait that sounds mean I don't want to hurt the lil' guys.

Checking my reflection sends a flutter of excitement, anxiousness and having to pee rippling through me. My nerves start winning out, worried that someone's gonna know I'm just a guy in a skirt and call me out for being the freak I am.

BZZT

My very logical spiraling is interrupted with a phone buzz (we kept our own phones which surely won't cause any issues down the line) displaying a text from Mandy.

morning! had a hunch you were bullying my friend again >:(

umm this is Lilah, like the sad bathroom one. we didn't trade phones.

I kno silly stop picking on urself

Is this the voice you're supposed to have in your head instead of the mean ass one that sounds like your parents?

u right.

ty for the save :)

I gotchu girl ???

Maybe Barney wasn't full of shit, having a friend rules.

Glancing at the mirror with renewed not badness, I can almost see Her again. Not Delilah, not my sibling, not some awkward dude piloting an unfamiliar body like a mech he never got the instructions for. It's just Lilah, grinning back at me.

At herself.

At a girl in a cute skirt about to indulge in a cliche from stories she's absolutely never read before.

--

Still dizzy from dreidel chicanery, I hobble downstairs to find Tim grabbing his stuff in a boring ass grey t-shirt and jeans. He turns around, making eye contact, and we share a brief shiver of disgust. Like looking in a mirror of how other people see you and hating what you find. I wonder if anyone else ever feels like that?

-

Dunn, dun dun dun dun dunnnn dunnnnnnnnnn

Delilah slaps out the baseline to seven nation army with the breeze in his face and fumes up his nose, effortlessly capturing the happy dog sticking its head out the window vibe on our way to school.

I just wish that dog wasn't currently behind the wheel.

"Soooooo are we still cleared for what we talked about last night?" I chirp, trying to get his attention.

"Huh?" He distractedly asks while swapping to a staring contest with his eyes in the rear view mirror. Jesus he really shouldn't be driving us. "Oh yeah, go nuts with that thing, I don't really give a shit."

"Cool." I reply with a grin.

After another shaky turn that dislodged any possible kidney stones left in that thing, I decide to partake in something this body has been begging for since yesterday.

"Hey dipshit, keep your eyes on the fucking road!" I snap, loudly and uncomfortably.

"Ugh fine MOM."

...

"Ooooohhh what's that? She can dish it out but can't-"

"Please don't compare me to her." I mumbleterrupt, hiding behind my hair.

"Well if the shoe farts." He spits.

"Seriously, please. I'm sorry for yelling but I'm nothing like Mom. I mean genetically, I guess, but one of my worst nightmares is turning into her."

"What's the worst?"

"...turning into dad."

He pauses to think for a minute, seemingly paying attention to the tractors around us for once.

"Hmm yeah that tracks. Sorry, still feeling out our new dynamic for sibling shit talk. Way more fun on this side of the pond."

"It's ok, I'm the one who started it." I sigh. "Just... please keep them out of our story for as long as you can."

"Sure thing you stupid lil' cunt!

...

"Huh, that sounds a lot harsher with your deep ass voice."

"Yeah, I know. It sucks."

"Are you kidding? This fucking rules!" He beams. "I gotta go out for drama or broadcasting or something, use my inane yelling powers for good instead of just eviscerating my dumbass sister with facts and logic."

I roll my eyes at that, but can't keep the smirk from appearing on my face. I'm getting used to him somehow loving everything terrible about that body. From the way he's talking, It's probably the same for him looking at me.

Weird.

Wish there was somewhere we could learn about this sorta stuff.

naomeatmybutt

holy shit remind me to not upload unedited drafts at 2 am again. most of these words were just straight up missing letters.