The result of all his lengthy nighttime ponderings and revisits to the past was that Tai Long greeted dawn with panda eyes. His sleeplessness combined with the ever present hunger left him unenergetic, but his resolve to be better for his cat’s sake did not falter.

And so, the workers at the smithy witnessed the typically argumentative and lazy Tai Long being suspiciously productive this day.

While Tai Long still disdained certain odd jobs that he thought too demeaning, he had no issues fetching water for the cooling troughs, carrying tinder for the forge fires, or helping pass messages. If someone took him for just another apprentice and tried to order him around, rather than letting his temper take control, Tai Long instead hit back by saying coldly that he was too busy with helping Lin Changyuan to take care of others. Since Lin Changyuan was not only well-respected for his skills but also held in awe for his connection to the Great General Ning Wei, the weaponsmiths quickly backed up, wary of offending Lin Changyuan through his apprentice.

Tai Long was both uncomfortable and smug at how throwing out Lin Changyuan’s name shut up others. On one hand, he did not like having to use tsomeone else's status to be respected. But on the other hand, he couldn’t deny that it certainly felt satisfying to have some respect back, borrowed though it may be. If only he hadn’t been so focused on being angry before, he could have used this tactic earlier to make everything so much smoother for himself.

However, other than straining against his pride, there was another reason Tai Long was reluctant to depend on Lin Changyuan, even in such a small way.

Ever since the older man saw him reunite with Xiao-Ji yesterday, his interactions with Tai Long had softened perceptibly. It made Tai Long vaguely uneasy. The former prince was used to being treated with respect, fear, and by now, even loathing. He did not know what to do with the mild indulgence Lin Changyuan offered him.

Throughout the day, this confusion made him moody and he grew distrustful of the older man due to how he made him feel. It was all Tai Long could do to keep his temper in check and stay aloof as they worked together near the end of the workday. When it inevitably put some distance back between them, Tai Long felt more at ease.

Lin Changyuan was obviously a little frustrated at how the younger man suddenly froze him out. But since Tai Long now took his work more seriously, he saw it as an overall improvement and decided to continue working with minimal interaction.

But for some reason, Tai Long felt an indefinable dissatisfaction due to this. While the distance between them now felt comfortable in its familiarity, it also made him feel a little bit hollower. To his horror, he realized that he was beginning to miss having Lin Changyuan’s patient attention. But Tai Long was too proud to admit it, and he distrusted people too much to voluntarily ask someone for closeness.

Lin Changyuan’s voice briefly pierced through the younger man’s contemplation. “Apprentice Tai, can you please get the iron staff out of the fire and set it aside to cool?”

Due to the hunger, tiredness, and churning thoughts keeping his mind in a daze, Tai Long nodded absentmindedly and reached out to wrap his unprotected fingers around one end of the hot metal rod, pulling it off the fire.

The heat hit his senses a moment later.

Tai Long let go of the rod with a startled shout. He clutched his wrist and bent over in pain. His muscles drew tight and he staggered. What had he just done?!

“Are you an idiot?! Who touches hot iron with bare hands?! The cloth to wrap it up was right beside you!” Lin Changyuan snarled at him and swiftly pulled him outside and towards the well by the arm.

Tai Long was in too much pain to answer. The fucking skin on his fingers was soft and bubbling! He never knew anything could hurt so much! How could this damned surname Lin have borne through all the burn marks littering his arms?! Blacksmithing was a terrible profession for masochists! No wonder that damned duke sent him to work here of all places!

While Tai Long sweated and swore in his mind to keep himself occupied, they reached the well. Lin Changyuan quickly drew up a bucketful of not-too-cool water and gently poured it over the deep red burn. Tai Long hissed and squinted his eyes. But after the initial burst of pain, it did indeed feel a bit soothing. Tai Long didn’t even realize he had been panting until his breathing began to even out.

“How does it feel?” Lin Changyuan asked, peering at his expression.

Tai Long looked away and said stiffly, “It feels better.”

Lin Changyuan nodded. “Good. We should have it looked over by the medic.”

“Why are you―” Tai Long began, but snapped his mouth shut. The words tasted bitter in his mouth. He couldn’t just ask this man why he cared about him and sound so pathetically vulnerable. Tai Long instead let his anger flare to hide his jitteriness. “What makes you think I’ll just follow what you say? It’s your fault for making me work and causing me to get injured in the first place!”

Lin Changyuan let out a deep sigh and pinched the bridge of his nose while muttering, “All the childish tantrums and immaturity I didn’t have to suffer through with my daughter, I’m now having to suffer through with you.”

For some reason, being compared to his daughter only increased the discomfort Tai Long felt. The perplexing knot of complex emotions in his mind twisted again. Tai Long lashed out harder, his prideful temper raising its head in all its glory. “A prince’s body is beyond precious, yet look what you’ve done to me! If we were in Sui, you would be beaten into a cripple for allowing such injury to befall my person! I, the first prince, am not some commoner used to being treated as worthless chaff!”

“Oh? You would have me beaten?” Lin Changyuan asked tonelessly, something cold flashing in his eyes. He couldn’t help but recall being slapped around by his abusive brothers when he refused to hand over even the last fraction of his hard earned money that he was holding on to just so his family would at least have a few bites to eat later. He was sick of bullies who took him for granted!

Whatever Tai Long saw in Lin Changyuan’s eyes made him take a step back uncertainly.

Lin Changyuan spoke without inflection, his expression flat, “Do you think being a prince makes you special? How funny, because I had to deal with people precisely like you for many years, and trust me, it’s nothing to feel special or proud about. I’m tired of dealing with you entitled asses. If you choose to follow their footsteps in treating me like horse crap, then you can’t blame me for leaving you to face the consequences of your own actions rather than fishing you out of trouble constantly like I’ve had to do.”

Tai Long felt those words poke right into the center of his uneasiness. All he could think was, does this man want to betray me by leaving me too?!

Tai Long flushed with rage and his unfounded insecurities came bubbling forth. “Stop pretending that you’re staying with me despite my behavior because of some inner goodness! The truth must be that you have a more insidious reason in pretending to help me and in getting close to me! I don’t know what you want to use me for, but know that I have no use for you, nor a reason to indulge you further!”

Lin Changyuan blinked, feeling some vague understanding tickle the back of his mind. The fury in his voice lightened to his usual level tone, “Why do you make it sound as if I have an ulterior motive?” His gaze flicked to the younger man’s red and raw fingers. “Enough arguing, this is growing childish. I apologize for getting carried away on my emotions. We should get going now and have that wound treated.”

Tai Long sneered. “What, you want me to believe your concern is out of the goodness of your heart? Ha!”

Lin Changyuan was exasperated. “If you don’t want to believe that people can be good to others for no reason, then you can take my concern for your injury as my obligation to oversee you on behalf of Brother Yan. Will that satisfy you?”

For some reason, Tai Long felt genuinely angry this time for a reason unrelated to his pride. He pointed at the older man and accused, “I knew it! Did that duke ask you to get close to me as a spy? Or was it to make me dependant on you after stripping everything away, then take advantage of my trust? What are you both planning?!”

“You really should get your paranoia under control,” Lin Changyuan observed dryly. “I don’t have so much free time that I go around plotting how to take advantage of others. Now, do you want to come with me to the medic to get your hand treated or do you want to be stubborn and let it fester? This is the last time I’m going to ask. If you want to choose the unwise option, then I’ll respect your decision since you’re an adult and wash my hands of this matter.”

But all Tai Long could hear were the words, I don’t have so much free time that I go around plotting how to take advantage of others.

Something that had gotten wound up in him loosened, though Tai Long was still left grumpy at having lost his temper for some insignificant reason. Why did he even see the need to argue about having someone attend to his burn injury? It certainly wasn’t to defend his pride. It was as if he was trying to put up a shield to protect some vulnerability, but that was just ridiculous. He wasn’t vulnerable!

Well, he could argue with himself all he wanted but the pain in his hand was certainly not getting any better.

He glanced at Lin Changyuan, then quickly looked away. “Since you insist, I’ll allow you to take me there. I’m disinclined to keep arguing with a commoner.”

Lin Changyuan rolled his eyes. He could sense that this former prince was acting haughty just to keep appearances now. Why were youngsters so difficult to understand these days?

Without another word said, he walked to the medical hall, with a sullen Tai Long following.

The medical hall was situated in one of the small side buildings and was run by a cantankerous old man with thin, wispy white hair. He had once worked as a medic at the battlefield and was given a job here when he withdrew from the frontlines due to hip and back injuries that never healed right. He was no-nonsense and meticulous, and as the prince was now finding out, the medic’s strong hands were also without the least bit of sympathy or gentleness as they attended to his injury.

Tai Long had never before had a wound treated with so much irreverence and lack of care and yowled throughout the process.

“Ow, ow! That hurts! You’re so inconsiderate!”

“Why are you using so much force?! Are you trying to heal my fingers or rip them right off?!”

“Stop it, you’re tying the bandages too tightly! Are you trying to garrote my hand?!”

“Ahhh!!! I said it hurts, damn you! Are you a real medic or a fucking quack?! How can you not know how to properly attend to a painful injury?!”

“Fuck, you have no idea how to treat a patient, do you?! I’d rather let my wounds fester than have you look after my injuries, you uncaring bastard!”

Lin Changyuan rested a hand on his forehead and sighed. Knowing this medic’s temper, Tai Long was probably never going to be welcome here again anyway.

By the end of the treatment, Tai Long had managed to not only thoroughly anger the old medic, his pained flailing had even managed to knock down a few bottles of medicine and poultices.

As soon as Tai Long’s injuries were attended to, the old man unceremoniously kicked him out. Shaking his fist at the young man, the furious medic yelled charming lines of welcome like “The next time you step foot here, I’ll add to your wounds, not heal them!” and “You can beg me by licking my boots but I’d still rather kick you in your face than help you!”

Tai Long left in an insulted huff while Lin Changyuan stayed back to politely thank the medic and collect the spare bandages and medicine Tai Long would need to use later.

“I can’t believe you let such a disrespectful youngster become your apprentice!” the old man grumped as he sent him off.

Lin Changyuan opened his mouth, then closed it helplessly. “I wish I could defend him, but I really can’t.”

After leaving the medical hall, Lin Changyuan headed to Tai Long’s dormitory hall to give him the bandages and medicine. Before leaving, he reminded the young man, “You’ll have to pay for both the medicine and the things you broke at the medical hall.”

Tai Long’s haughty expression cracked. Fuck, he hadn’t thought of that! How much more was his debt going to increase?! He had wanted to use his wound to take time off, but now it seemed he didn’t have that luxury if he wanted his meager salary to keep paying so his massive debt wouldn’t get bigger.

And so, a dissatisfied Tai Long had to trundle back to work.

In the meantime whenever Xiao-Ji saw the burn, it carefully nosed Tai Long’s hand, being careful not to bump the injury, and purred as if to comfort him. Tai Long would murmur reassurances and let the worried cat curl up with him to sleep.

But it seemed that Xiao-Ji wasn’t reassured enough.

From then on, the cat snuck into the smithy after Tai Long as if to watch over him and make sure he wouldn’t get hurt again. The only indications of its presence Tai Long could see were blurry shadows at the corners of his eyes. But he could still recognize his Xiao-Ji and was in a noticeably good mood at being accompanied.

One day, as Tai Long yet again struggled to hide his smile at his little cat hiding outside the window and peeking at him cutely, Lin Changyuan dropped startling news.

“It’s going to be Brother Yan’s twenty-first birthday soon so I’ve taken a few days off to stay at the main residence with my family for the banquet. You’ll have a senior weaponsmith overseeing you meanwhile,” the older man informed cheerfully.

Tai Long’s good mood immediately sunk. Indistinct feelings of annoyance, apprehension, and reluctance twisted within. “You… When are you coming back?” he finally asked. He wanted to berate himself for even caring, but his ears were still perked up to hear the answer.

Lin Changyuan shrugged. “It should be in less than a week.”

Tai Long looked away and made a vague sound in acknowledgment. But he remained in a daze the rest of the day. Lin Changyuan was looking forward to his time off with his family and didn’t notice.

When it was finally time for him to leave, Tai Long kept glaring at the older man silently. But Lin Changyuan took it as his usual brattiness and happily skipped off to his vacation.

The next day at work, Tai Long was greeted with Lin Changyuan’s replacement. He was a thin, dull-looking man who seemed completely uninterested in maintaining much contact with his charge. All he did was introduce himself and say he would keep watch on Tai Long on behalf of Lin Changyuan, before disappearing into the throngs of men working in the smithies.

Tai Long felt that this new overseer was very displeasing to look at compared to the Lin Changyuan he was used to. Lin Changyuan had a face that projected mature steadiness through his gaze and patient tolerance through the gentle curves of his eyebrows and mouth. But this new overseer was bland and even less handsome than the plain looking Lin Changyuan! There was no way Tai Long would accept him or make things easy for him! What if it was deemed he was being too obedient under this overseer’s charge and they ended up deciding to have him replace Lin Changyuan permanently?

And so, Tai Long promptly reverted to his earlier ways of slacking off. Only, he now had Xiao-Ji to find hidden corners for him, where they spent time playing and cuddling together.

A couple of days passed in this way and Tai Long was even gladder for his decision to hide away. In Lin Changyuan’s absence, Tai Long felt the alienation and dislike directed towards him even more starkly. His previous bad behavior had turned him into one of the most hated presences in the smithy.

Unfortunately, the lack of Lin Changyuan’s protection meant that many people who had stayed clear of Tai Long before actively found him to make trouble now. Of course, they didn’t dare take things too far in case Lin Changyuan came to know about it in the future. They chose to simply take pleasure in ordering the haughty Tai Long around and making him do menial chores like the other new apprentices.

Since Tai Long had decided to not start trouble with others for every little thing after reuniting with Xiao-Ji, he could only grit his teeth and agree to at least some of it. He tried to console himself with the knowledge that at least he would earn something out of all this and reduce his debt by a fraction. And seeing Xiao-Ji sneaking around in the shadows encouraged him by reminding him what he was bearing with all this for.

However, having to face the disdain and hostility from the others, Tai Long realized that Lin Changyuan had been shielding him from more unpleasantness than he knew. But any budding feelings of gratitude were stomped down petulantly. He was still angry at Lin Changyuan for leaving abruptly and making him face all this!

Tai Long felt that his life was already difficult, but the worst was yet to come.

On a certain cloudy day, he was hiding behind a tree by the well and playing with his cat. While petting it, Tai Long spoke with a contemplative look. “Xiao-Ji, you always look so happy to get your head rubbed. Does it feel nice?”

The black cat closed its eyes and nuzzled against his palm to show its approval.

Tai Long smiled. “I wonder what it feels like to get your head petted…” Bending down to place his face level with the cat, he lifted one of Xiao-Ji’s fluffy forelegs and pressed a soft paw atop his own head.

As one would expect, Xiao-Ji’s hooked claws got caught in his hair and the cat’s attempts at pulling away only tugged at Tai Long’s scalp and elicited hisses of pain. Reaching up, he hurriedly disentangled his hair from the cat’s claws while muttering with regret, “Damn, that was a really bad idea…”

Once Xiao-Ji was free of the treacherous hairy snare, Tai Long hugged it and lavished affection on it in apology. The cat was all too quick to forgive and was snuggling up against him in no time. The man and beast were thus once again in loving harmony.

But the peace didn’t last long.

Tai Long heard a group of people approach the well, calling out, “Apprentice Tai, we’ve been informed that you’re hiding out here somewhere. Get out and show your face, you coward!”

Tai Long frowned and gently placed Xiao-Ji down. Nudging it in the opposite direction from the group, he urged, “Go on, get away from here. It’s probably someone else here to make me work.”

Xiao-Ji took a few steps away then looked back doubtfully.

Tai Long made a shoo motion. “Go.”

The black cat bounded away and disappeared into the faraway shadows.

Letting out a breath, he brushed away the dust clinging to him, then stood up and left the shelter of the tree to face the group of men. “I’m here. What do you louts want?”

Four men with faintly familiar faces glared back at him as the sky above thundered with the promise of rain.

The biggest of the men crossed his exposed arms, causing them to bulge with prominent muscle, and said, “Don’t pretend you don’t know us, prissy boy. You not only lost the batch of weapons master had us work for days to make, you even had the gall to insult us after all the trouble you caused! If you weren’t under the charge of that Master Lin, do you think you’d have been spared till now? Now that your master has left you in our gentle care, it’s time we extracted our due from your obnoxious mouth with our fists!”

Tai Long finally recalled these people and pressed his lips together apprehensively. Since it seemed there was no getting out of this, he silently pushed up his sleeves and prepared for a brawl. If he had to go down, then he would do so only after venting all his hatred, helplessness, and dissatisfaction with his current situation onto these people’s flesh!

The four men closed the distance menacingly. Two of them slid to stand behind Tai Long, not leaving him a path of escape. Encircled, Tai Long frantically thought back to anything in his martial arts lessons that could be useful in a four-against-one fight. He was dismayed to find that he didn’t remember much at all. Damn, why had he not tried to retain what he was taught beyond the examinations?!

Lightning flashed from above, followed by another boom of thunder.

“Don’t let him run,” the muscled man said and stepped towards Tai Long.

Just as he raised his fist, an angry yowl ripped through the air. Skidding to a halt in front of Tai Long with hackles raised, Xiao-Ji hissed threateningly.

Tai Long’s heart jumped to his throat. Fearing that the precious ball of fur would be callously kicked away, he rushed to take it into his arms and held the squirming and hissing bundle close to his chest. But this left him with no free arms to defend himself.

Taking this chance, the muscled man in the lead finally threw the first punch. Tai Long could only curve his body around the cat and take it with a shoulder. He staggered back, and the pain only fed his anger. But before he could do more than raise his furious gaze, another punch landed on his back, then another on his waist, followed by someone kicking his leg and sending him crashing to the ground.

He curled around the struggling cat to protect it with all he had as kicks rained at his back, legs, and ribs. Tai Long clenched his jaws tightly, unwilling to cry out to maintain his pride.

Seeing that they elicited no reaction, the blows tapered away within a few minutes. A gruff male voice complained, “Tch, it doesn’t feel vindicating at all when he just lies there silently.”

“It’s like hitting a bale of hay,” another commented.

“Well, since it’s his stinking mouth that dared to talk shit about us and our master, let’s give him a very literal and appropriate punishment,” yet another man offered with a smirk.

Tai Long glanced up disdainfully. What the heck did that mean?!

The muscled man let out a booming laugh. “It’s childish, but I like the idea. Hold him, I’ll go get it.”

One of the men behind Tai Long pulled him up brusquely by his collar, and they kept him in place by pressing down with a hand on each of his shoulders. Tai Long cautiously clutched Xiao-Ji closer and considered if he could throw off the tight grips on his shoulders and make his escape now.

But the man who left didn’t go far and returned soon. Tai Long scrunched his nose in disgust. Why did he stink of the stables?

To Tai Long’s utter revulsion, the muscled man revealed a stick with a lump of horse dung skewered on it. Jabbing it in Tai Long’s direction, he grinned and said, “Since your mouth is already stinky and spews shit, stuffing some more in there shouldn’t matter, should it? Here, open up and eat it like a good boy and maybe we’ll leave you with just a broken bone or two.”

The other three men guffawed.

Tai Long turned his face away, disgusted. “Are you sure the stink you blame on my mouth doesn’t actually come from the chamber pot you have for brains? Why don’t you stick that dung up your nostril to add some more substance up there?”

The dignified former prince of Sui would never admit that he had spent long hours fuming at night, thinking about the crass way that bastard general had insulted him multiple times, and had originally mustered up this retort to use if he saw Ning Wei again. But it proved too appropriate to not use in this situation.

The muscled man reddened with anger while sparks shot out of his eyes. The others’ expressions grew more forbidding, feeling the urge to beat this mouthy brat down until he learned to respect his seniors!

“It seems you forgot that this rudeness of yours was what got you in trouble with us in the first place,” the big man growled and raised a fist.

Before Tai Long could react, his head whipped back and he was seeing stars as his vision temporarily turned white. He tasted blood at the back of his throat. The two people holding him by the shoulders were caught off-guard as well and almost let go. They quickly looped their arms around his to hold him better. It forced Tai Long’s tight grasp on the struggling Xiao-Ji to loosen, and the cat immediately leapt out of his arms.

Its small and sharp claws shot towards the muscled man and dug deep into his cheeks. The muscled man screamed and reeled back, trying to shake off the animal.

Tai Long struggled against the dizziness brought on by the blow to his jaw and took the chance to let his entire weight drop down. In that moment where the men holding him were shocked by the cat’s assault on the big man, Tai Long managed to use his weight to slip his arms out of their grip and shot forward. He used the gap in the encirclement provided by the flailing muscled man and quickly made his escape.

As Tai Long expected, once he was free, Xiao-Ji quickly disengaged and sped away as well. He knew that if his cat wasn’t running alongside him, it meant that it was going to try and get help. However, the only one the cat would recognize properly was Lin Changyuan, who wasn’t here. But at least it would mean that the cat would be busy looking for him for a long time, thus not returning and getting in danger again.

The dizziness and bruises from the beating meant that Tai Long stumbled every few steps and wasn’t nearly as fast as he wanted to be. Thunder roared and crackled overhead, almost covering the pounding of footsteps. The men chasing him quickly closed the distance, with the muscled man with bloody furrows in his face at the head.

Tai Long had fled into the empty smithy in an attempt to get out through the front entrance. But before he could make it far, he felt a hard kick at the back of his knee. His leg folded and he was sent falling onto the pitted floor. Except for the muted orange glow of freshly banked fires, the space was filled with thick, oppressive darkness. The current circumstance added a sinister layer atop the gloom.

Tai Long tried to get up despite the sharp pain in his knees and elbows, but rough and strong hands mercilessly pinned him down by his shoulders and legs. Not wanting to be pressed down on his stomach, Tai Long bit out a frustrated growl and struggled. But his bruised body and spinning head didn’t cooperate well.

“Stop moving,” one of the men holding down his shoulders dug his fingers in and cautioned.

Another said mockingly, “You talk big but when the time comes to pay up for your insolence, you chicken out.”

“Do I look stupid enough to stay still and obediently get beaten by people who have dung for brains?” Tai Long sneered.

The muscled man growled and gripped the young man’s head by the hair, then slammed it down. “Shut up!”

Tai Long barely managed to turn his face in time to avoid breaking his nose on the floor. A blast of agony bloomed on his cheek and split his lips. He clenched his teeth and refused to let out the groan climbing up his throat. He instead shouted with eyes burning, “Don’t you dare fucking touch my hair!” Reminded of his mother’s claws digging into his scalp, his struggles increased in ferocity. It was all the men could do to keep him in place as he wildly snapped his teeth and kicked his legs at them.

A sudden and brutal kick to his side flooded Tai Long with more pain and reduced the strength behind his struggles.

Wiping away a trickle of blood seeping from the scratches on his face, the big man warned, “Stay put or you will regret it.”

Tai Long glared at him from the floor and once again struggled harder, trying to ignore the pain melting his muscles and bones. This was why he usually let his guard fight in his stead! Fighting fucking sucked!

“Looks like you need some incentive,” the big man said in sinister contemplation. He walked up to one of the metal rods that was used to stoke the flames and lifted it up from the banked fire using its cloth-wrapped handle. Blowing on the bright hot orange tip, he smiled menacingly and said, “You better behave or this’ll be going straight up your ass, pretty boy.” The thin red scratches on the man’s face glistened in the mild firelight as a chain of thunder vibrated the air outside.

Tai Long froze, face going pale. He wouldn’t dare…

The man holding his legs pinched his backside and leered, “Look how obedient you’ve become now. Too bad, I would have enjoyed seeing your perky little butt.”

“I’m just appalled to speechlessness at your vulgarity.” Tai Long licked his bloody lips, eyes fixing on the hot metal rod glowing on one end that the muscled man was holding. “If you’ve had your fun, let me go before you do something stupid.”

The muscled man grinned. “Not before I sear a reminder into your skin so you’ll know why you shouldn’t have messed with us.” He returned the metal rod to the smoldering fire, pushing aside the dampening layer of ash, and turned the tip over the brightening embers to heat it up.

Tai Long tensed and gritted out, “Don’t you dare―”

“Open his clothes for me,” the big man interrupted to command his apprentice brothers.

The ones holding Tai Long’s shoulders wasted no time in pulling his lapels open and pushing his robe down to his elbows.

“That’s enough,” the muscled man said and retrieved the rod.

As he shook off the ash on the rod’s glowing tip and strode towards him, Tai Long felt his unease increase, but he strove to not show it on his face. “What are you planning?!”

The muscled man crouched in front of him and stroked the outer side of his upper arm, just under the shoulder joint. “This should do it,” he murmured almost cheerfully.

When the hot iron replaced his touch, Tai Long jerked and smothered his shout behind clenched jaws.

Unsatisfied by his lackluster reaction, the muscled man pressed the rod further into his skin. Tai Long grunted thickly. His skin turned pasty with pain as cold sweat beaded on his forehead. His body lay stiff, afraid that the slightest movement would cause the rod to spread the burn. The smell of seared meat began to suffuse the air.

The big man fixed his gaze intently on the reddening flesh around the hot metal.

The man holding the shoulder on Tai Long’s uninjured side narrowed his eyes. “Seems like it’s not enough. Try this side too.”

Tai Long gasped when the rod moved away from his upper arm, taking a layer of softened skin with it. When it touched the top of his other arm, his breath stuck in his throat and his pupils dilated as a fresh spike of pain drove into him. The brief respite only cast the returning agony in starker contrast, and for the first time in years, Tai Long prayed to his people’s god sincerely for an end to the misery.

But there was no salvation coming, only more pain.

The man holding the first arm to be branded grew dissatisfied at his minimal response. Staring at his face to capture his reaction, he maliciously dug his fingers into the raw wound.

The sharp pain skewering him was so sudden that Tai Long screamed instinctually. Flashes of agony continued ripping through his nerve endings, and the shock covered his vision in darkness, finally sending him hurtling into blissful unconsciousness. The last thing he heard was the hateful chorus of his tormentors’ satisfied laughter overlapping with the concussive booms of thunder.

When Tai Long woke up, it was raining heavily.

He was lying on the rough floor in the same place as before. But there were no people in sight now. The forges had gone dark and the air was thick with moisture.

Its black fur blending into the dense shadows, Xiao-Ji was pressing its head into the crook of Tai Long’s shoulder, meowing frantically and insistently as if afraid.

Tai Long closed his eyes and lifted an arm to pat the cat in reassurance. The burns on his arms stretched and he stiffened with a cry. He took in a deep breath, then let it out. His mind was strangely blank, as if it was overwhelmed to the point of shutting down.

Gritting his teeth and stoically steeling himself against the pain, Tai Long slowly stood up from the cold floor and righted his clothing. He settled Xiao-Ji into his robes and against his chest to protect it from the rain, then walked out on unsteady feet.

His breathing was fast and quick, his skin clammy, his head fuzzy, and his feet leaden and clumsy as he shambled slowly towards the medical hall. The rain was bitingly cold as it washed over him, the low temperature seeping into his bones. But the two burns on his upper arms seemed exceedingly hot, as if they were digging into his flesh and claiming him.

Tai Long resisted the urge to scratch at his wounds as if he could rip them out along with the memories that caused them and the emotions that accompanied them. He hugged his cat tighter. His voice was soft and dazed as he muttered, “It hurts… Xiao-Ji, it hurts…”

Xiao-Ji rubbed against him in seeming consolation.

When Tai Long reached the medical hall, he knocked first, then banged on the door loudly when there was no response. His arms pained him terribly but he did not acknowledge the burns, as if it would make them cease to exist.

The medic wrenched the door open and scowled. “Which ill-mannered idiot is here so long after work hours? I doubt you got hurt at work at this time!”

Tai Long tried to make his voice sound normal. “I need more burn medicine and bandages.”

When the medic recognized him, his irritation deepened into disdain and anger. “You need more? Then pay me first!”

Tired of standing in the rain, the young man bit out gloomily, “I’m injured. At least let me in for now.”

The medic spat at his feet. “You have the gall to say that after how you behaved here last time? Ha! Give me a hundred copper coins and then I’ll consider treating you!”

Tai Long frowned. “That’s nowhere near what it cost the last time.”

The old medic bared his teeth at him. “It’s a special price just for nasty brats like you.”

Tai Long couldn’t even muster up the energy to be angry. “Take it from my wages again. I’ll pay it off eventually.” He didn’t have a single coin on him now, all he earned directly going to pay for the weapons he lost. His first assignment sure was a gift that just kept on giving.

The old man huffed. “No money, no medicine. You can just use whatever’s left over from last time’s treatment. Now, shoo!” The door banged shut unceremoniously.

Tai Long stared at it blankly, feeling lost. His body was sore from the beating and the harsh sting of his burns bit into his arms. He had none of the medicine or bandages he had received before. …What was he supposed to do?

Xiao-Ji squirmed against his chest and meowed in disgruntlement as a few wet droplets splashed on it.

The young man covered the cat better and sighed tiredly. He looked at the firmly shut door one last time, then turned away. “This is how people are, Xiao-Ji. This is how they always are.”

The rain beat down on them as Tai Long shuffled back to the dormitory hall. But as he stood at the doorway and looked at the row of heartily snoring stinky men, he was reluctant to step inside. He felt too weak and vulnerable to be at ease amongst others now.

His arms tightened around the cat as he advised it, “We can’t trust anyone. Anyone.”

Xiao-Ji kneaded his chest through his inner clothes.

“Yes, even if they’re offering chicken,” Tai Long added solemnly.

Someone turned over in their sleep on the communal pallet. The soft sound jolted Tai Long’s heart into beating faster. The young man stumbled back a step, then turned and fled into the rain without conscious thought.

When his pulse slowed down, Tai Long took shelter under the eaves of a side building and panted to recover his breath. Xiao-Ji mewled worriedly and he patted it through the robe. “I’m fine… Just a little fright, that’s all.”

Leaning back against the wall, he wiped the rain off his face and considered his options.

For now, he had to find a place to stay to at least wait the rain out. His robes wouldn’t keep Xiao-Ji dry for too long. He considered and discarded many places as potential shelter, then finally settled on a certain storage shed he’d come across while running errands. It was where they kept the lowest quality results of the apprentices practicing how to craft weapons. He chose the storage shed since it had a broken window he could enter through.

As he broke into the shed, Tai Long’s face flamed with embarrassment. This had to be the least dignified thing he’d ever done! But when he stepped into the shed and saw a flash of lightning glint off of the numerous weapons piled up haphazardly on shelves, he felt a bit safer. If something happened again, he could at least protect himself.

After setting the cat down and removing his wet robes, Tai Long cleaned up part of a shelf for himself and Xiao-Ji. He felt the chill in the air starkly but didn’t have anything dry to cover himself with, so he could only bear with it for now.

Once he made sure Xiao-Ji was dry and comfortable, he hung his outer robe over the broken window and pinned its edges to the wall using some metal spikes he found. Though the robe dripped copious amounts of water, at least the moist wind would be blocked for the most part.

Exhausted, Tai Long laid down on the creaking wooden shelf with a leaden mind. His burn wounds itched terribly and his mind swam busily with fuzzy thoughts that refused to let him sink into deep sleep.

Right now, he was completely drained of his pride or entitlement. All that was left was the need to survive and a pervasive heaviness. Looking back on his behavior since becoming a commoner while in his present state of mind, he realized how self-destructive his thoughtless lashing-out had ended up being. Could he continue to behave that way even after facing consequences like this?

A part of him blamed Lin Changyuan for leaving him unprotected, but he knew that he was the fool in the first place for placing even the smallest bits of trust in another person. He should have known better. But Lin Changyuan had been so disarming in his genuineness…

Tai Long shook his head as if to disrupt that line of thinking. But his head spun, so he stopped.

After he lost everything and became a commoner, he had tried to cope with it in the only way he knew how, which was reassuring himself that he still had his pride and freedom. But each instance only proved the opposite and incited him to lash out even more. Pushing outward with his impulses, he attempted to claw out some space for himself from the suffocating loss of control. But in the end, due to his aggressive attempts at breaking free, he ended up collapsing upon himself the very walls he sought to escape.

Facing what happened today made him finally realize that there were bigger dangers than that to his pride or comfort. Today had…scared him. He thought the violence would be the most terrible part. But when the medic’s door slammed shut in his face, his rare plea for help ignored so callously, he had felt helplessly, wretchedly alone. He finally came to know how truly low he’d sunken.

Other than his Xiao-Ji, he had nothing and no one.

Tai Long’s heart squeezed into a pitiful little ball and trembled.

He remembered the fear he felt while being held down forcefully as the glowing rod neared him. He remembered his absolute powerlessness and the horrible pain. He remembered the impotent anger and their laughter as he screamed so shamefully. In the midst of it all, he knew that there was no one who would come to help him, no one who would care to intervene even if they were there. He knew that no matter what happened to him, he had no one to turn to. He was utterly alone.

It shouldn’t have been like this. He didn’t want it to be like this.

He…didn’t want to be alone.

As he was forced to admit it to himself, Tai Long felt something fundamental in him that he had been holding together by the sheer force of his pride crack.

As Tai Long pondered on all that went wrong, his mind grew hazier and less coherent, then eventually buckled under the weight of exhaustion and sank him into a fitful sleep. Every crackle of thunder outside and rustle of insects or small animals in the shed caused him to twitch anxiously in his slumber.

The next morning, due to a combination of his numerous injuries and the thorough soak in the rain, Tai Long developed a fever.

He thought he woke up and fell back into sleep several times, but his mind was too muddled for him to tell for certain. Sometimes he dreamed of his time back in the palace. Only, it was not as easy or comfortable as it used to be. Sometimes he sensed that Xiao-Ji wasn’t nearby and dreamed that it was because his beloved cat was dead. The pain was so unbearably horrible that he escaped into deeper slumber to avoid it. Thoughts and impressions mingled with memories and imagined events. The constant feeling of discomfort and unease chased him round and round.

Tai Long didn’t know that the frantic Xiao-Ji sensed that something was wrong and kept heading out to try and locate Lin Changyuan, with no success. In between, the cat returned regularly to check up on the young man. It also killed the rodents in the shed and kept leaving their carcasses by Tai Long as if asking him to eat. But the young man was in no condition to see all this, much less partake of the offerings.

Annoyed at all the food Tai Long was wasting, Xiao-Ji climbed and stood beside his head to boop his nose and yowl at his sleeping face.

While it didn’t wake him fully, it did get a reaction.

Delirious in his fever, Tai Long’s eyes opened a slit and focused on Xiao-Ji. He hugged the cat to him and began disjointedly rambling on and on into its fur:

“Xiao-Ji…why can’t all people be as nice as you? Then I can treat everyone like I treat you…and they won’t hate me or hurt me anymore.”

“They don’t want my goodwill… they don’t care about me… But it’s alright… I also don’t care about anyone except you…”

“I thought it didn’t matter if others hated me as long as Father liked me. But even he threw me away… just like my private guard. I know that surnamed Lin is going to go away too… I really know it…”

“Xiao-Ji, Xiao-Ji, don’t leave me, please… I know I can’t get up and get you food now…but I promise I’ll make it up to you later. So please, you can’t leave me too…”

“Xiao-Ji…you always smell like sunshine and pavestones… like the ones back home…”

When Tai Long’s hold on it finally loosened, Xiao-Ji slipped out to go and search for Lin Changyuan again. It might even find a fat squirrel on the way to share with Tai Long.

When night arrived, Xiao-Ji once again curled up against Tai Long and kept him warm. The next morning, Tai Long’s fever finally broke and he was able to wake up and stay conscious. His body was weak and clammy, his throat so sore that it hurt to swallow.

Tai Long realized that he had to get medicine somehow or he might really die if the fever returned.

Knowing that everyone would be at work now, Tai Long staggered and stumbled his way to the dorm hall stealthily. Xiao-Ji snuck along with greater expertise.

In the dorm hall, Tai Long changed into fresh clothes and set aside the old ones to be washed. Then reaching under his side of the pallet, he retrieved the gold token that had been tied to Xiao-Ji’s neck. Tai Long rubbed his thumb over the familiar surface with reluctance and heartache. This was the only thing he had left of his home.

The young man smiled sadly and offered the token to the cat. “Xiao-Ji, would you be disappointed in me if I gave this away?”

Xiao-Ji ignored the bit of metal and curiously bumped its nose against the back of his hand instead. It cried out stickily, just glad to have Tai Long awake and moving again.

Tai Long’s bitter smile turned warm. He stroked the cat’s back. “Thank you.”

Xiao-Ji meowed and blinked at him slowly with feline contentment.

Having received the cat’s permission in a way, Tai Long slipped out of the compound for the first time and carefully looked around for what he sought. Since there was a street full of jewelry shops alongside the various smithies near the capital’s edge, a pawn shop wasn’t that hard to find.

When Tai Long presented the gold token and asked to exchange it for copper coins, the shop keeper looked at him sympathetically.

Tai Long held himself back from snapping at him and asked expressionlessly, “Is something the problem?”

The chubby man behind the counter shook his head. “This is quite a nice piece, worthy enough to be a family heirloom. No wonder you look so torn.”

Tai Long shifted uncomfortably.

Waving a hand, the chubby man reassured, “Don’t worry, I won’t pry. Do you want the entire payment in copper coins? It will take too much space. How about you take a look at some of the gold trinkets I have in my jewelry shop nearby? A handsome lad like you will surely be even more well received if you court someone with a gift.”

Stiffening, Tai Long said, “No need. I can’t afford any lovers.”

The chubby shopkeeper looked even more sympathetic now. His gaze moved to Tai Long’s hands, then his wan face. Shaking his head, he muttered mournfully, “To think that a youngster who works hard enough to be reduced to sickness can’t even afford a romance… How saddening.”

Tai Long’s lips twitched.

Sighing, the shopkeeper asked, “Then how about I pay you in silver along with the copper coins?”

Tai Long considered, then nodded. “Just make sure there are at least a hundred copper coins.”

Nodding, the shopkeeper went to the back of the shop to fill up a pouch with the money.

Recalling the shopkeeper’s gaze before, Tai Long looked down at his hands. They used to be smooth, the skin fair, evenly-toned, and silky. His fingers had been long and slender, almost delicate, with neatly trimmed nails that shone healthily. But now, his skin was rough and darkened, his fingers thicker. His nails were ground unevenly, and his palm was cracked, dirt darkening the creases.

They were no longer the hands of a prince, but that of someone who worked for a living.

Once upon a time, these hands had scattered jade and pearls amongst his favored lovers with wild abandon. But now, they couldn’t keep even the lone piece of gold in their possession.

Tai Long sighed. His days at the palace seemed farther and farther away, feeling more like a past life when compared to his current circumstances. As time went on, his past seemed to have lessened in significance. His mind was more occupied with making it through the here and now rather than reminiscing about those faraway memories.

The shopkeeper returned and thunked a plump pouch full of jangling coin onto the table. “Here’s the payment.”

Tai Long stared at it. “Why is it so big?”

The shopkeeper looked at him strangely. “Hundred coins take up a lot of space.”

Tai Long hadn’t realized that. He was used to dealing in silver and gold when he was a prince. Even after becoming a commoner, he had never seen a coin since all his wages flew away even before entering his pocket. Hefting the pouch, Tai Long realized that he wasn’t as acclimatized to his new life as he thought.

When he went to fasten the pouch to his belt, the shopkeeper cautioned, “Such a large pouch tends to tempt others. Better put it inside your robes so thieves will have a harder time getting to it.”

Tai Long followed his advice and left the shop. Weak as he was, the pouch seemed too heavy as he made his way back to the compound.

Back in the dorm hall, he tucked away everything except a few strings of copper coins and made his way to the medic again. At first, he had considered just casually tossing the entire pouch to the medic. When he was a prince, he’d never had to count money before handing it out. But thinking of all the trouble the lack of coin could cause and the precious token he had to sell to obtain this pouch, Tai Long decided to spend it carefully.

When Tai Long finally presented the medic with the hundred copper coins and demanded treatment, he found the old medic’s rounded eyes and disbelieving expression extremely satisfying. But when the medic saw his injuries and heard of how Tai Long not only didn’t clean them but even went traipsing off into the rain, he almost added another bruise to the young man’s face.

For some reason he didn’t understand fully, Tai Long didn’t mind the old man’s scolding as he fussed around him. Though his hands were as brusque and unmindful of his pain as the last time, the medic’s care towards his patient was still obvious. Tai Long wondered if this care had been there the last time as well and he was the one who hadn’t seen it, or if the medic was feeling guilty for turning him away the day before yesterday and was thus treating him better now. Either way, all Tai Long knew was that he didn’t hate this feeling.

Of course, it hardly meant he remained silent or polite while receiving treatment that was almost as painful as the injuries themselves. A lack of pain tolerance could hardly be fixed with just a beating or two.

By the end, Tai Long remembered why he loathed the medic and the medic remembered why he despised this brat and his annoying mouth. When the treatment was finally over, with all wounds slathered in medicine and bandaged as necessary and all relevant decoctions swallowed, the two men were united in their wordless accord to peacefully continue hating each other.

The medic irritably pushed the new batch of medicine and bandages into Tai Long’s hands and groused, “Get out now. Don’t come back until you’re dying from your injuries.”

“Why? So you can send me the rest of the way with your own hands?” Tai Long snapped back as he left.

On the way to the dorm hall, he pondered intensively about what to do with the remaining money. On one hand, he wanted to buy some palatable food rather than suffering through the tasteless slop from the dorm kitchen. On the other hand, he also wanted to pay off part of his debt to the smithy so he would start getting his salary sooner.

But on second thought, he decided he should save it. The recent events left him too fearful of not having enough money in case of emergencies.

He was able to manage somehow this time, but what if Xiao-Ji got sick in the future?! Not to mention, his Xiao-Ji would start getting old in a few years and would need lots of care. He wouldn’t stand for anything except the most comfortable amenities for his old cat! And so, Tai Long paranoidly decided to save money.

Tai Long reached the dorm hall and went to obsessively check that all his money was indeed there, then drank some water to ease his hunger as usual. But now that his reserves were on the verge of drying up after his sickness and lack of food for almost two days, his stomach cramped and protested fiercely. Tai Long clutched his stomach and grimaced. He was so tired that he just wanted to sleep, but his stomach was too uncomfortable to let him get any decent rest.

Just as he was pondering on what to do, Xiao-Ji returned with a ‘present’.

Setting down a big, tough-looking, disemboweled rat in front of Tai Long, Xiao-Ji sat back on its haunches with a puffed up chest, sure that now that Tai Long was awake, he would appreciate its hunting prowess properly.

Tai Long raised his brows. “So this is what you were doing while I was out selling our last bit of property?”

Xiao-Ji meowed proudly and nudged the rat towards him.

As his gaze fell on the dead creature, Tai Long was ashamed to admit that some part of him actually considered roasting and eating it. He shook his head to clear away such embarrassingly weak thoughts and smiled at his cat. Pushing the rat back towards it with the tip of a finger, he said, “No, you eat it. You must also be hungry.”

Xiao-Ji looked absolutely scandalized.

Tai Long laughed and patted his little cat’s head, then left to get some of the disgusting gruel from the kitchen. Now that he had decided to save up for Xiao-Ji’s future, he gave up all hope of having a decent meal anytime soon and finally resigned himself to eat enough of the tasteless swill to fill his belly.

After eating, he headed back to the dorm. On the way, he pondered on whether he would really be able to continue staying there when the others returned from work and filled the space at night again. There would be so many people and each could pose a danger, not to mention how terrible an entire group of them ganging up on him could be. People were untrustworthy.

But then Tai Long recalled the sympathetic expression on the pawn shop owner’s face and the subtle worry behind the medic’s scoldings as he cared for his wounds. He thought back to the pork buns Shang Jin offered from his own dinner on that ill-fated task to deliver weapons. He thought of Lin Changyuan smiling with tolerant exasperation as he dealt with his bad temper. None of them gained anything from it, yet they smiled at him and showed him kindness, though it wasn’t much.

Maybe…not all people were as terrible as the people he was used to dealing with at Sui’s palace?

Did it mean that he could hope Lin Changyuan would remain good to him and not leave?

Tai Long pressed his lips together. That was probably expecting too much. But he really didn’t want to be alone anymore. He wanted some small reassurance in his life that he would have at least one person on his side when others sought to hurt him.

While trying not to hope too hard, Tai Long reached the dorm hall, lay down on his side of the pallet, and unintentionally drifted off into sleep, dreaming of waking in a world where he wouldn’t have to fear being hurt again.