“The one who catches the most makes dinner!”

          “Isn’t it the other way around?”

          “Aw, Blackie wants to try my cooking? You should have just said so! I do make a wonderful breakfast platter or if you would like dinner more than that I learned how to make roast from my own dear superior officer, what was his…or was it her…name, oh well, it was back in my old days when they thought I could learn to follow orders.”

          “Let’s do it your way then.” He rolled his eyes at me.

          “I’ll be making dinner then!”

          “We’ll see.” Blackie seemed a lot more energetic now, I almost felt a little offended. He wasn’t this excited when we were burning down the music hall or my house…or his house now that I think of it. I guess terrorizing humans really was a demon’s natural state.

          A scream echoed very briefly, snaping me out of my musings as I realized he was gone and already caught one before me. We counted 53 total bandits, five were still back at the camp and could not be counted unless they moved and he just got one, which meant I had to get a total of…let’s see, minus six, carry a one, 15 to have the majority.

          Meanwhile, back at the camp, our honest “not a doctor” was muttering to himself as he watched the other three conscious people settle down, not daring to move as screams continuously sounded from the thin and patchy forest. His hands moved almost on their own as he precisely and roughly patched the kid named Borin up.

“43 are in the forest, but even if they banded together they’ll never win against those two, we were beaten to a pulp with just one of them…and if I’m right on who those two are…” He shuddered. “No, I just need to focus of surviving. Angels are notorious for their vengeance, but I wasn’t apart of it so I should be fine… but the demon…they are known for a fickle nature… but the angel should keep him in check right? But why are they together anyway? 17 years I’ve lived running the line of death and reward, I can’t die here…”

“Who you talkin’ to?”

“The only one who understands me, shut up and go back to sleep you brain-dead suicidal son of a pigeon.”

“…but the doc..”

“How many times have I told you do the opposite of what Doctor Steve tells you to do?”

“61”

He wacked the top of Borin’s head, “Now it’s 62! How in the name of Humria are you still alive?!”

“My mum always said I was born lucky!” With a bright smile he rubbed his hurt head with his unhurt arm. “Said she couldn’t lose me even when she tried! Always managed to get home alive!”

“I pity your mother.”

“I’ll do it again, too!”

“ “I’ll make it home even now that bandits have stolen me from my bed and forced me to join! Even though we got on a ship and sailed to a different continent! I’ll make it home!” ”

“…Have I said that before?” Borin scratched his head as the younger boy glaring at him recited, doing a remarkably good impression, what he was about to say next.

“YES”

“Oh…Did it get quieter all of a sudden?”

          “It seems like they’re done. Now we get to find out if we’re doomed because a certain someone wouldn’t let me think and now I don’t have a plan”

          “Thinking is important, my mum had to do that a lot, you should tell the one who’d bugging you to go away like she does!”

          “…Sadly, we ran out of anesthesia weeks ago.”

          Animals have better awareness than humans do, though to be fair, these disobedient little children were a little scared. I had to stifle another sigh as I watched one walk right into the small thicket I was using for cover. I slid between a thin opening, causing him to see nothing more than a glimmer of what might have been a ray of light.

          He had calmed down slightly from his hysteria, most of them had at this point, which meant he didn’t start screaming like they had earlier, at what seemed like a slight breeze. Their actual survival instincts where starting to kick in.

          “Who goes there?” So brave, yet so silly. His voice squeaked as he tried to keep it to a whisper.

          At this point, it was only polite to reply. I even got close enough for him to hear me without needing to yell.

          “Retribution.”

          Although, in hindsight… perhaps it was a tad mean-spirited to whisper it into his ear from directly behind him…

          So anyhow, he started screaming…

          The next one fun one I caught was a really fun one…not that I was enjoying bringing mental scars to these misguided children mind you… but showing children the errors of their ways is what adults do! I am nothing but a proper adult and a kindly elder who wants children to grow up right! (were Babaris here to comment, “so you’re saying you’re nothing?”)

          “I have an odd, sudden urge to whack a Blackie”

          This child with the eyepatch was the first to run, not to mention one of the ones who knew that. How did it survive anyway? I was sure I buried every written mention of that incident…though it might not have been just the one incident now that I look back…

          Anyhow, he had run quickly and was currently the furthest away. Blackie had about 10 and I only had a few as I was hunting for the ones who seemed to recognize me first.

I stood in the middle of the path he was running down right around a bend so he wouldn’t see me until he turned it, and then it would be far too late. Well, it was too late the moment we laid eyes on them, but they had yet to know that…Alright, perhaps I was having a little bit of fun…

“This…ha, this should be far enough right?” Desperation drowned his voice as he turned back right before the bend. “Th-that can-can’t get me now? The others- the rest- they must have distracted it…right?”

…it? He couldn’t be speaking of me right? He must be talking about Blackie. I smiled at the thought.

Breathing heavily with relief, he continued down the road. Straight into my sight.

He froze, eyes widened so I thought they would pop from his skull. A shudder ran across his skin like a ripple of water off the back of a duck, loosening his limbs to allow a few retreating steps. Wordless sounds passed his lips as they tried to form a thought, but only incoherent muttered whisps emerged. My smile deepen.

“KYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAA” This one almost burst my eardrums; he really did have a set of lungs on him…

“IT FOUND ME! IT REALLY, REALLY FOUND MEHEEEEEEEE”

         …Well, that was enough of that. I knocked the base of the skull with just the right amount of pressure to put him to sleep and spare my poor eardrums. Just a little more pressure, and I could crush the brain stem and kill the sinner…but no. This child was not worth adding to the blood on my hands.

          At this age and having killed so many different types, the only one who was worth it and really incited my bloodlust and killing intent was Babaris, and he was far too much fun to kill! I finally had a friend, and it would be a shame to let it end. A sparing match should be fine though…