Night time in Chicago was always the worst and Pete knew that better than anyone. Having suffered from weeks of insomnia, he had been subjected to all the sights and sounds of the city at night. Things have gotten so bad, he started taking sleep aids (not that they helped much). All he could really do was preoccupy himself each night, hoping he’ll fall asleep. 

That night, Pete decided to kill the time by watching a movie. Appropriately enough, he decided to watch “Fight Club”. As he watched the scene of Tyler Durden and the narrator stealing liposuctioned fat from the hospital, he thought to himself, “I wonder how easy it would be to learn how to make soap?” It was one of those thoughts one has late at night, completely meaningless but they pop up from time to time. At that moment, Pete heard a loud crash come from his bedroom. “What the hell was that?” he said as he got up from his seat and made his way towards his bedroom. When he opened the door, however, he was not prepared for what he saw. 

Sprawled out underneath his bedroom window, face down on the ground, was a young woman. She was dressed casually in a orange and purple striped shirt and a pair of stretch pants, both of which hugged her soft, chubby body. As she slowly got up, Pete got a good look at her face, soft and pale as moonlight with bright purple eyes, the whole thing framed by short black hair. Looking up at Pete, her mouth dropped in shock, revealing a pair of fangs. “W-what are you doing up?” the woman asked in a surprised tone. “Aren’t you supposed to be in bed by now?” Looking equally shocked, Pete retorted, “What am I doing up? What’re you doing in my apartment?!” Hearing this, the woman was at a loss at what to say next. 

After a few awkward minutes, she finally answered in a sheepish tone, “Would you believe I’m a Mormon and I wanted a moment of your time to talk about Jesus Christ?” Unfazed by this, Pete retorted, “Okay, that’s it, I’m calling the cops.” “Wait, hold on a second,” the woman said nervously. “I’ll tell you why I’m here. I just don’t know how you’re going to take it.” “Well, I’m waiting,” Pete said, growing annoyed. Sighing a bit, the woman explained, “My name is April, I’m a vampire, I just moved out from my sire’s house, and I’m out hunting for my first meal... which would be you.” When she said this, an awkward silence hung in the air. 

As the two stared each other down, April nervously asked, “So, uh, what are you gonna do with me?” Looking at the vampire, Pete shrugged his shoulders and said, “I don’t know. You want to watch ‘Fight Club’ with me?” This caught April completely off guard, clearly not expecting that. “Are... are you serious?” she asked. “Didn’t you hear what I just said about drinking your blood?” “I did, yeah,” Pete said in reply. “But then again, I’ve had insomnia for the past few weeks; so I can either watch some movies alone while hoping for my sleeping pills to actually kick in or I can have someone to talk to and watch the movie with. Honestly, I’d prefer the latter.” Still confused by this, April had to admit that it was not a bad offer. So after agreeing to this, the vampire followed her would be prey into the living room. 

As the two sat on the couch, watching the movie, April glanced over at Pete, still confused. “So, um, Pete right?” she asked out of curiosity. “Why exactly did you choose this movie? Is it because the main guy has insomnia too?” “Yeah, more or less,” Pete answered nonchalantly. “I figured I kinda relate to him because of it. I’m not saying I have a split personality or anything, or that I’m going to start some cultish fight club or a domestic terrorist group and blow up the credit card companies. I’m just saying I understand the feeling of not sleeping for days on end.” Thinking this over, April cocked her head, saying, “When you put it that way, I think I get where you’re coming from.” “Really? How so?” Pete asked in reply. “Well, I’ve only been a vampire for a year now, and during the first few weeks, I decided to watch ‘Twilight’. I thought the movies sucked back when I was a human, so I thought I would like them better now that I was a vampire.” “And did you?” Pete asked. April simply shrugged her shoulders, saying, “No, they still sucked.” 

“But seriously though, I just don’t get it,” April continued, trying to make sense of it all. “Why are you being so friendly to me? I came here to drink your blood. Aren’t you a little worried?” “Not really,” Pete said in reply. “I mean, don’t take it personally, but you’re not really all that dangerous.” Looking a little offended, April retorted, “And what exactly do you mean by that? I scaled an entire building to get to your apartment, didn’t I?” “Yeah, and you came in with all the grace and stealth of a drunk bear,” Pete said smugly. “Plus... well, you’re not exactly that physically fit for a vampire. My guess is that you’ve never really done this on your own before, have you?” “Seriously, you’re saying I’m too fat to be a vampire?” April snapped in offense. “I mean, it’s not like I can do anything about it. Apparently, when you become a vampire, you’re body basically becomes fixed in the state it was at the time, and I was already chubby when I got turned, so... yeah, I can’t lose the weight anymore. On the plus side, I can’t get any fatter, so that’s good.” “Hey, I didn’t mean to offend you,” Pete said as he offered her a bowl of popcorn. “Besides... I think you look cute like that.” Hearing this, April looked surprised at this, feeling thankful she had not drank blood recently (she’d be blushing like crazy if she had). 

Feeling awkward, the young vampire absentmindedly grabbed a handful of popcorn and shoving it into her mouth. As she ate, she felt a queasy feeling churning in her stomach. Noticing how sickly his guest was looking, Pete asked, “Hey April, you alright?” Suddenly, April clamped a hand to her mouth as she got up from her seat, rushing into the bathroom. Before he could say anything, Pete was met with a horrifying cacophony of volatile vomiting. Glancing down at the bowl of popcorn and then back to the bathroom, Pete got up from his seat, walked towards the bathroom door and asked, “April? What the hell happened? Was it the popcorn?” “No, no, it was me,” April said in reply. “I forgot I couldn’t eat normal food. Seriously, I haven’t eaten regular food for an entire year. It’s basically my hell.” Looking concerned, Pete asked, “Is there anything I can do for you right now?” After a few minutes, April sheepishly answered, “Could you get me a set of spare clothes please.” Agreeing to this, Pete made his way to his bedroom, looking for something for the vampire to wear. 

Meanwhile, in the bathroom, April was standing in her underwear, wiping the last bits of upchuck from her face. At least, she hoped she was getting it, seeing as she did not have a reflection (much like other vampires). Staring at the mirror long enough, though, she could imagine how she looked now based on how she looked as a human: pudgy with short black hair. Thinking back, she was amazed at how her life had turned out. Just a year ago, she was just minding her own business, working at a Costco. Now, thanks to being bitten by some anorexic supermodel-looking freak, she was now standing half-naked in the bathroom of the guy she was going to drain; her clothes lying in a small pile soaked in her own sick. 

“I can’t believe I did that in front him,” April said to herself, clutching her head in shame. “All because he said I was cute. What is wrong with me?” The more she thought about it, the weirder the whole situation got. April never really dated much when she was a human, but a few coworkers of hers did try to set her up on a few dates with friends and family,  because they were chubby chasers. These dates... never ended well. Sure, her belly stuck out a bit and she had what others unceremoniously referred to as “birthing hips”, and she was comfortable with her body. The problem was the guys she dated were really insistent on her gaining more weight (something she would never do in a million years). This Pete guy, on the other hand, he actually seemed nice. If he was a chubby chaser, April would have been perfectly fine with that. 

At that moment, April heard a knock on the door. “Hey April, I got you a fresh change of clothes,” Pete said. “It’s just a t-shirt and a pair of sweatpants. I hope you don’t mind.” “That’s fine, just leave them by the door and I’ll get them,” April said as wiped the last bit of sick from her face. When she said this, the door creaked open as Pete set down a pair of sweatpants and a black “Gorillaz” t-shirt. Grabbing the clothes, April said, “Thanks,” and made her way back in front of the mirror. First on were the pants, hiking them up over her thick thighs and plush rump, and struggling over her hips (these were clearly made for men). Taking a moment to note her slight muffin top, April picked up the t-shirt and looked at it, staring eye to socket with the weird, overly happy skeleton on the front. Looking down at her full chest, she shook her head, saying, “Well buddy, you’re gonna be in for a rough ride tonight.” With that, she put the shirt on, her boobs stretching it out a bit while a pale sliver of pale flesh peeked out from under the hem. Imagining how she looked, April could not help but giggle, saying, “Well, if Pete really is into big girls, he’s gonna be in for a real show.” It was at that moment that she looked back at the pile of soiled clothes, instantly killing her joy. “Oh who am I kidding?” April muttered to herself. “There’s no way in hell he would want me after listening to the world’s worst musical show.” Sighing at this, April left the bathroom feeling low. 

Making her way back to the living room, April saw Pete waiting for her on the couch. Looking up at the vampire, Pete asked, “How’re you feeling?” “Fine, fine, the back of my throat feels gross, but I’m fine,” April said in reply as she sat down. “Thanks again for the clothes. I really appreciate...” That’s when she noticed a cup sitting on the coffee table. Looking inside, she saw that it was a milkshake, possibly strawberry judging by its pink color. Staring at the glass, April asked, “Is that a milkshake?” “Yeah, I made it for you while you were getting changed,” Pete explained. “I thought it might help settle your stomach a bit.” Glancing back at the human, April simply snarked, “Really, have you learned nothing from the puke volcano you heard earlier?” “Trust me, I think you’ll like this shake,” Pete said in reply with a small smile. Rolling her eyes, April picked up the shake and took a sip. 

The moment the shake hit her tongue, an incredible surge of flavor burst in her mouth. It was vanilla, pure and simple, but there was also a slight metallic taste that she was all too familiar with: blood. It was a vanilla milkshake with blood mixed into it. Tears were running down April’s cheeks as she drank the shake, her eyes rolling back as the sensation became almost euphoric. The best part, however, was that she did not feel sick at all as she drank (perhaps it was the blood that was mixed in that helped). Having downed the last of the shake, April slammed the cup onto the table, breathing heavily as her taste buds processed the first real food she had in a year. 

“So, how was it?” Pete said with a smug grin. Placing a hand on her head, April simply muttered, “Oh my god. Just... oh my god.” “Yeah, I figured if you drank blood, you’d be able to drink anything with blood mixed in it,” Pete explained with a shrug. “I mean, it’s all an assumption. I don’t really have any understanding of vampire biology, so I’m just working from guesswork here.” “Honestly, you’re not that far off. My sire use to eat that Italian thing that’s made of thin slices of raw beef (carpaccio I think it’s called), but I never thought that...” April explained, only to have a sudden realization. “Wait a minute. Where exactly did you get the blood for the milkshake?” Pete said nothing, but simply lifted his hand, revealing three sheets of bloodied paper towels taped to his hand as a makeshift bandage. 

“You... y-you used your own blood to make it?” April asked, shocked and feeling a little guilty. “What was I suppose to do?” Pete retorted. “It’s not like I have any buckets of blood just lying around here. Besides, weren’t you going to suck my blood in the first place?” “Well I was, but things changed,” the vampire explained, her cheeks blushing now that she had some blood in her system. “I mean, I didn’t realize you were suffering from insomnia for so long. I wouldn’t be right to drain someone so worn down. Plus... y’know... ummmm...” “It’s because I said you looked cute, wasn’t it?” Pete asked solemnly. Looking over at April and seeing the embarrassed look on her face, he already knew the answer. “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” Pete said before facepalming. “Goddamn it, what the hell was I thinking? Look, I’m sorry I made you feel uncomfortable. I wasn’t trying to weird you out (I mean you’re a vampire. How’s that possible?). My brain’s basically running on fumes as it is, and the insomnia hasn’t done my love life any favors, and you’re here, and...” Before Pete could say anything else, April asked, “Did you really mean it? Do you really think I’m cute?” Hearing this, Pete was stunned into silence. Finally, after a few minutes of deafening silence, the man smiled a small smile, and answered, “Yeah, I meant it.” 

After that, the two sat awkwardly on the couch in dead silence, the vampire staring at the human the whole time. Feeling uncomfortable, Pete nervously asked, “So, are... are you gonna... say anything, or...” At that moment, April reached out towards Pete, grabbed the unsuspecting man, and pulled him into a tight hug. Pete did not know what to think as he was held in that loving embrace. However, as April hugged him, he could not help but notice how cold she felt (made sense, seeing as she was a vampire). It wasn’t an unpleasant feeling, though. In fact, between that and her soft, plush body, it was almost like being hugged by a nice, cold pillow after a long day. It was a very relaxing experience. 

After a few minutes, April released her grip, looked Pete in the eye, and said, “Thank you, that’s nicest thing anyone’s said to me in... well, a while now honestly.” “Glad I could make your night,” Pete said with a smile. “And if I’m being honest, I really want to spend more time with you. This has been one of the best nights I’ve ever had.” “You... you really mean that?” April asked. “Of course I do,” Pete said as he took the vampire’s hand. “In fact, why don’t you stay here with me? I can talk to the landlord in the morning and add you to the lease.” “Um, wow, that’s a little forward of you,” April said in reply, a little surprised. “But considering I’m more or less homeless right now, I can’t really think of a reason to say no. I’m gonna have to call my sire to have my stuff sent over, but other than that, there really shouldn’t be any problems. Just make sure you buy some blood for me next time you go out. I don’t want you killing yourself just to make me a drink, alright?” Smiling at this, Pete simply said, “Sure, I’ll see what I can do.” 

Having said that, Pete got up from the couch, stretched a bit and said, “Well, I should probably head to bed and see if I can get any sleep. Thank god I don’t have work tomorrow, I might be able to sleep in.” “Really, already?” April asked, sounding disappointed. “Can’t you stay up a little longer? At least until we finish watching the movie? I’ve never seen “Fight Club” before.” Looking back at the vampire, Pete could not help but smile at her. “Sure, I could stay up a little longer. Not like I’m getting any sleep tonight anyway.” With that, the man sat back down next to the vampire, the two snuggling up to each other as they watched grown men beat the shit out of each other; the first night of a new relationship.