When Gym class ended, I avoided Fay. I avoided Amber. I was afraid. I was afraid of confrontation. I was afraid of rejection.

Much of the school day passed without much drama. My last two classes were uneventful. Since we had a show later this evening the band focused more on honing the field-show. So we ran through that 3 or so times. Occasionally Fay and I would make eye contact and she'd turn away. That was certainly not a good sign.

At the end of band class, I was packing up my sax when Fay came over and pulled me aside. "Hey Chris." Fay said. "Can we have a talk?"

"Sure." I said. I was dreading this moment all afternoon. I knew when I set out to ask Fay out on a date, I knew it would end in either one or two ways. I'm about to see which way it was right now. Either I leave here with my tail between my legs or I ask her to homecoming.

"You've been acting a little out of the ordinary all week." She started. "And I was wondering where that was coming from."

I took a deep breath. "Listen, I don't know what Amber said-"

"I don't care what Amber said" Fay cut me off. "I know she's manipulative and vengeful and you two have something going on with each other right now. But I want to hear it from you. From my friend since 3rd grade."

I took another deep breath.

"Fay." I started. "I've had a thing for you since elementary school. I always have. I feel like this was my last chance to really tell you that. So I decided to finally act on those feelings to see how it would play out."

Fay was silent for a long moment.

"Christina." she said. "You've been a good friend for a long long time. The other night was so much fun. You treated me better than any guy has ever treated me. I think I knew something was up then. But I kept telling myself that you just were looking for a fun girls night out."

There was another long pause as I let her finish.

"I didn't know until now that you had those feelings."

"I did. And I wanted to show you first hand. I pretended the other night as a first date. I was really hoping that if I did everything right- that-" I swallowed. "that you would view it that way too."

"But - you had to have known that I'm not into girls right?"

That was it. I felt like I was just stabbed in the gut. "I knew." I replied. "But I couldn't forgive myself for not trying. I had hoped that maybe either you were bi or just in the closet."

"Oh Chris. I'm so sorry."

"Me too."

Fay embraced me with a hug. I hugged her back, closing my eyes lost in this moment. She released the hug and kissed me on the cheek. "You are too good of a friend for us to go our separate ways. Please don't let this make us strangers."

"I won't." I said. But I was hurting inside.

* * *

I sat in my car. Alone with my thoughts.

Dammit Tony. What was I thinking? It took me years to get over Fay the first time around. I would always ask about her. I would hope that one day she showed up online. In college I found an AOL email address for her, and sent her a casual email to see what she was up to. But I never heard back. Even later I found her private Facebook account. But by then she was married with kids and a whole decade had passed since we last saw each other.

Here I was. 20 years later. Cutting into the scar and trying again. Attempting to change both of our destinies. I was a fool. Fay was never going to date Tony or Christina. It was never in the cards. Fate was cruel. Did the guardian angel know this was going to happen? Did he/she just let this happen out of some perverse enjoyment?

When I was able to think straight. I drove to the same pizza place that Ron and I went to lunch and got a slice to go and returned to the school.

I sat in the band room eating my dinner. A number of people came to talk to me. Some of which I hadn't talked to in over 20 years. I really didn't feel like talking, but I powered through it. About Powder Puff. About last night's Friends episode. About the band trip to Florida we're going to take in April. Some had heard through the grapevine about swing dancing. I did my best to smile and give them what they were looking for. But I was still hurting. Rejection is hard.

Around 6:30, I walked outside and watched the sun lower in the sky, just taking in the late September sunset.

Around 7:00 I decided it was time to get ready. I needed to get out of my school clothes and into something I could put my band uniform over. I decided to just change into my gym clothes.

* * *

Slowly more and more band members returned to school. I saw Ron again talking with his fellow Alto Sax players. Fay was talking with the band teachers. My section was talking about the Voyager episode I missed. Then they got into politics. One of them actually tried to convince me that the U.S. would never be in another war again. I literally said. "You're shitting me right?" Outside of that I stayed out of that particular conversation. They wouldn't believe me anyway.

It was time to load into the buses. Our band takes up a good 5 buses. I had to ask my fellow tenors to remind me what bus number we were. All saxophones were on bus #3. I grabbed my instrument case and went onto the bus.

It was already dark outside when I walked out of the band room and to the bus circle. I found an empty seat in the middle of the bus. Minutes later Ron came in and sat next to me.

"Hey" he said.

"Hey" I replied. I'm glad our earlier fight didn't stop our ability to converse like dudes.

"How was the rest of your afternoon?" he asked.

"Well I got a chance to talk to Fay." I said.

"Oh? How'd that go?"

"It went exactly like you'd expect it to go when a straight girl finds out her friend is crushing on her."

"I'm sorry." he said.

I forced a smile. There really wasn't more to say about that particular subject. He respected me by realizing that I was grieving. He could've started pushing Chase on me, but he didn't.

It was only a 15 minute bus ride to this week's football opponents. So everyone started getting dressed on the bus shortly after leaving our school. I put on the black socks, black pants, and shoes. I had Ron zip up my jacket. I zipped up his. I put on the white gloves. I had gotten better at putting my hair up during gym class. I tied it a few times on the top of my head and I put the plumed shako on my head. Good thing these uniforms are unisex because I did all of this from Tony's memory.

The bus pulled up to our rival school. We all piled out and lined up ready to do the pre-game show. I tuned out my personal issues and put on my game face. After practicing for 4 days I had remembered what I needed to. I was looking forward to getting out there and reliving the thrill of the performance.

We stood at the gates to the football field. The stadium lights illuminating the field. You can see the fans packing the bleachers.

Fay blew the whistle to command us to be at command ready. The band went quiet. All you could hear was the crowd noise from the stadium.

Minutes later Fay blew her whistle 3 times and our drumline started playing our band's cadence. I smiled. It was nice to live in this moment again. I took a large breath of that cool air. Let's do this!

We marched onto the field and fanned out into our opening set.

Fay stood upon the podium and started conducting the show. We had been working on this for weeks. I had been working on it for 4 days. I personally think I did great. Re-living the moment was awesome and It felt good to just play the music and march around the designs we have worked so hard on.

When the show was over, we marched off the field and to our seats on the visitor bleachers.

* * *

The football game started. I don't even remember if we won this game originally. I decided to just take it all in.

I watched the cheerleaders. Cindy was doing a great job and was on point for all of their dances and cheers. Of course that's why she was on Varsity as a freshman. Amber was actually all over the place - in a good way. She was in the zone. Watching the game, then consulting her cheer card for the right cheer for the right moment. She actually didn't look as evil when she's in her own element. I almost didn't recognize her with a smile on her face.

I eventually got into watching the game and started talking about football and the various situations with my fellow tenors. It was actually a very defensive game. We did manage two big plays that resulted in scores. There was a stressful moment towards the 3rd quarter when our opponents were threatening to score. But our defense held. Our school won the game 14-0.

* * *

We arrived back to our own school. I had already taken off my band uniform and headed to my locker. I pulled out Julie's black dress, and headed to the girls locker room.

I had to turn the lights on as no one was around at this late hour.

I found an open locker near the sink and mirrors and hung up the dress and garment bag.

I pulled off my gym clothes. I exchanged my nude bra for the black strapless lace bra. I then pulled the dress over my head. I looked at the mirror.

Wow. Spaghetti straps. A neckline that dipped down deep, but not deep enough to see my bra. The way the dress hugged my waist and hips. The bottom hem of the dress came down to mid thigh. "Wow." I repeated to myself. "This is a sexy dress."

I pulled the hair-tie out of my hair and let it fall down. I played with it so it looked more like it did earlier in the day. I was worried that I might need to take a shower after having my hair up in a shako for 2 hours, but my hair fell into place nicely. Not too oily. Of course I was a guy 5 days ago, so what do I know?

I put my heels on and lastly I reapplied my makeup, cleaning up anything that needed cleaning.

I kept thinking how gorgeous this dress was. How gorgeous I was. At the moment I was Christina. Not Tony. I felt like a confident woman.

I picked up my things and walked out of the school and towards my car. The breeze was cool on my legs and shoulders. None of my skirts were this short, so I was feeling kinda naked walking outside in this dress. When I got to my car, I hung up the garment bag and placed my backpack in the passenger seat, locked it and walked to Ron's truck.

"Ready?" I said as I approached Ron.

I could see his eyes get bigger when he saw me.

"Wow." he said. "You are taking this party thing seriously."

"This is important to me." I said.

"Then it's important to me too."

I climbed into his truck and we went off to the party.

* * *

We arrived at the address Tim handed out. Cars were parked along the street as to be expected. Ron drove around but finally found a patch of grass to park on. We both got out of the truck.

"Shall we?" he asked, offering me his arm. This took me by surprise. I hadn't expected such a gentlemanly gesture directed at me.

I smiled, said "Thank you" and took his arm and we walked up to the house.

As we entered the house we could hear La Bouche's “Be My Lover” pour out of the open door. The living room was packed with people who were still dressed from the football game. Some of them I recognized from various classes. Some of them I didn't.

"Whoa! Christina! Band Dude!" Tim said greeting us "Welcome to mi casa!"

I wasn't going to let Tim just dismiss Ron like that, so I said, "Tim, Ron. Ron, Tim"

"Dude." he acknowledged. "Drinks are in the kitchen. We have some drinking games out in the back. "

Tim got distracted by another party guest and Ron leaned into my ear. "You really like that guy?"

"No." I replied. "Not all all. He's a good hitter and base runner though."

We walked into the kitchen. I found people surrounding a keg of beer with Solo cups stacked on it.

"Are you sure you want beer?" Ron asked.

"Just one." I said. "I know my limit." Ron nodded.

The guy in front of me was having a hard time operating a keg so I stepped up to him. "Here, let me show you how to do this."

I pumped the keg a few times. "Tip your cup like so." I angled my cup. "Then slowly pour the beer along the side of the cup" I pressed the nozzle and the beer flowed out into the cup.

"Thank you Christina!" said the guy. I'm not sure which class he was in.

"You're welcome."

I turned to Ron. "Want one?"

"I'll just take a sip of yours." he said. I handed it to him as he took a sip. He returned it to me and I took a sip. Ew. Not sure what brand this is, but it was awful. "I've had better." I said to Ron.

A part of me wishes I was hanging out with 37 year old Ron. We could go to a brewery and do some tasting - oh a nice winery... Stop it Tony. You're 17. Not 37.

"Hey Ron!" a guy called. "What's up buddy!"

"Whats up?" Ron said, shaking hands with him. "Chrissy, this is Jimmy. He was on the swim team with me last year."

"Hey." I said acknowledging Jimmy's presence.

Ron and Jimmy started talking and catching up. This was the perfect opportunity to take a tour of this party without my chaperone. I went to the backyard where there was a beer pong table set up. Two pairs of guys were already playing. Alright! I'm down for this!

I went to a piece of paper that was on the table with who was up. There was still 2 other pairs in front of me. Typically Ron would be my partner. I just had a feeling this version of Ron was uber responsible. So I wrote "Christina Demarco" on the paper. I figured I could find a partner later before I'm up.

I continued looking at the house. It was a modesty looking house. By 2018 standards it was small, but by the 90's standards it was quite nice.

I made my way back to the living room. Ron was still talking to Jimmy and another guy.

I decided to take a seat in the living room. There was an open spot on the couch. I saw down listening to the music and watching various people talking.

"We won!" A bunch of football players barged into the house. A lot of party goers went up to them congratulating them. "Go Bulls!" I could hear from the kitchen.

Just then Jessica from my English Class sat down next to me. She was still wearing her cheer uniform. She was drinking the shitty beer too. I took at another sip out of my cup at that moment.

"Hi Christina." she said.

"Hi." I replied. This is likely the spy. What exactly do I have to say to her?

"I wanted to say I'm sorry." she started "I was the one that told Amber about you and Fay." Wow. Honesty. Refreshing. My opinion of her took an immediate 180.

"I think I kinda figured that out." I said.

"It wasn't my place to say anything. I was just excited for you, and it accidentally came out. I heard you ask her out on Wednesday, and on Thursday, you guys seemed cute and it sounded like you had a great time. I didn't even think Amber knew who you were."

"I forgive you." I said and smiled. Her concern seemed genuine. She smiled back.

"So did anything happen between you and Fay?" she asked.

"She doesn't like me like that." I answered.

"I'm so sorry." She said rotating on the couch to face me. "It's hard sometimes." There was a brief pause. "I know what you're going through."

"Oh?"

Just then I felt her little finger caressing my upper thigh.

"Yeah." she said. "Girls like us. We don't know who exactly will- appreciate our efforts." She looked into my eyes.

I was speechless. "I uh. Yeah. It's rough." She placed her hand on my thigh.

"This is a very cute dress." she said.

"Yeah. I'm borrowing it from a friend." I'm having a hard time forming thoughts. Jessica is certainly a very attractive girl. And she is totally coming on to me. I think I should stop this though.

A guy holding a plate of shots came to us. "Shots?"

"Yes totally" I said. Jessica and I both sat up and grabbed shot glasses.

"YOLO!" I said. Or would that be "You only live twice?"

Jessica looked at me with raised eyebrows like I was talking a different language.

"Cheers!" I said clinking glasses with Jessica. We downed the shot.

I coughed as it hit my tongue and thought. Oh no. Not Tequila!

Jessica coughed at the straight Tequila. "What was that?" she said.

"That was very cheap tequila." I replied.

"Hey bro." I said to the shots guy. "Do you have any salt or lime with that shit?"

"Nah" he said moving on.

"I guess we just have to chase it with beer." I said to Jessica, drinking more beer. She did the same and laughed. She returned her hand on my thigh. A little higher this time. She continued to smile and look into my eyes.

I couldn't escape her stare. I looked into her eyes too. Her thumb was rubbing my leg. Oh wow I'm getting turned on. Can't let this happen here. Quick Chrissy, change the subject.

“Do you want to be my beer pong partner?" I asked.

Chris, what are you doing? That's not how you escape her!

"Sure!" she said. "I've never played before."

"Great. I'll add your name" I said getting up off the couch. Oh wow. That was unexpected. Breathe Chrissy. Even Tony never had a girl hit on him at a party.

I made my way to the back and put Jessica's name next to mine on that sign-up paper.

On my way back through the house I saw Julie who just came into the house.

"Christina!" She said, happy to see me. "I knew that dress would look so hot on you!"

"Thanks." I said, blushing. “Thank you for letting me borrow it. You were right. I couldn't stop looking at myself in the mirror."

Ron appeared by my side again.

I introduced them. "Julie - do you know Ron?" I asked.

"I've seen you around." Julie said.

"Yeah, I think we've been in a few classes together." Ron replied.

"What are you drinking?" Julie asked me.

"Cheap beer from the kitchen" I replied. "Want some?"

"Nah I can't" she said. "Track meet tomorrow"

It's a bummer. I didn't want to be the only one drinking.

I saw Amber enter the house behind Julie. She was dressed in a red party dress. She, like me, was dressed to impress. She didn't notice me, but I saw her talking to the shots guy and saw her take a shot from him. She was followed by Brittany and one other girl whose name I didn't know. Both of them had changed out of the cheer uniforms.

Just then I heard a voice behind me. "Christina Demaro and Jessica." You're up!

"Sweet." I said. "Jess, let's do this!" Let's get out of here before Amber sees us. I grabbed Jessica's hand and headed to the back. I led the way to the backyard with Jessica followed by Ron and Julie.

We got the table across from two guys who looked a little older than us. Could these guys be Tim's infamous college friends?

"Wow. A pair of high school girls want to challenge us?" one of the guys said.

"This should be good." the other guy said.

"Have you ever played this?" Ron leaned in to ask me.

"Yes. Many times" I said.

He raised an eyebrow and me and smirked. "Was this before or after computer class?"

I chuckled. "Trust me" I reiterated.

I filled our 6 plastic cups mid way and lined them up as a triangle. I turned to Jessica. "The goal is to sink a ping pong ball into their cup and make them drink it. They'll do the same to us. You win when one side is out of cups. We'll drink every other cup."

"Sounds good." she said.

"Challengers go first." The first guy said as he bounced a ping pong ball at me. I caught it.

I dipped the ball in a water cup. Shook it off and tossed it. It landed easily in the middle cup. Julie cheered.

"Whoa" the guys both said. "Looks like we might have a shark here."

Jessica threw and missed.

The first guy threw and his ball hit the rim of our cups and off the table.

The second guy landed his ball in one of our cups. I turned to Jessica. "You or me?"

"I'll go first." she said, picking up the cup and drinking it.

I rinsed and tossed my ball and it landed in another cup. I high-fived Jessica.

Julie said "Good work Demarco!"

Jessica threw her ball and it bounced off the cups.

The first guy landed his ball on one of the cups and I picked it up to chug.

As the second guy was about to throw his ball Jessica bent over to pick up something behind her, her cheer skirt riding up showing her ass to the guys. The ball went sailing way above her.

"Get your head in the game" the first guy said to the second.

I looked at Jessica with a surprised look. "What did I do?" she said laughing and smiling.

I threw the next shot and it bounced off the lip of a cup. "Aw man" I mumbled to myself.

Jessica shot one and it landed into the cup. "Yes!" she said, jumping up and down giddy.

"Good job Jess!" I said.

The first guy was about to shoot. Jess dropped her purse on the ground in front of me. "Chris, can you pick that up for me." As I bent forward I saw the shooter's eyes rise from the cups to my cleavage. He threw and missed.

I blushed. This Jessica is something else. She knows how to use her feminine talents - and mine to distract guys.

The second guys landed his ball. "That won't always work!" he said. Jessica drank that cup.

We got the balls back. "Re-rack" I told them as they moved the last 3 cups back into a triangle.

I tossed my ball and it landed in the first cup. Julie and Ron clapped.

Jessica missed.

The first guy landed his ball and I took the cup to drink. The second guy landed his ball and Jessica drank that cup.

"We get the balls back." the guys said after sinking two consecutive balls.

We bounced the balls back to them. I was still chugging as fast I could. Some beer was dripping out of my mouth.

Jessica said out loud. "I think you have some beer here." She started licking my neck. Oh god. What is she doing? The first guy missed. I could see both Ron and Julie mouths agape surprised at what was going on. Oh my. My neck is sensitive. She licked up my neck and nibbled on my ear.

"Jess." I moaned. "This might be going a little far."

The second guy landed his ball. That was game.

"Damn" Jessica said.

"That was good game ladies!" The guys said. "Come back anytime!"

I took my beer and joined Julie and Ron. Jessica tagged along

"That was fun!" Jessica said.

"That was um - wow" Julie said.

"Are you OK?" Ron asked. "That was a lot of beer."

"I think I'm fine." I said. I definitely wasn't as clear headed as I was when we walked into this party. I had so much going on today that it never occurred to me that 37 year old Tony's alcohol tolerance is much different than 17 year old Christina's.

I may have made a very poor judgement here.

Jessica tripped on the threshold of the door and I caught her. "Careful." I said. I had to hold onto the door too. This wasn't good.

As we made our way to the living room. "Another Night" by Real McCoy was playing and people were dancing to it.

Julie said. "Wanna dance?"

"Sure." I said.

Ron leaned up against the wall as Julie and I started dancing in the living room. Where did Jessica go? I was swinging my hips and getting down when Julie whispered in my ear. "Girl, I think you might be drunk."

"Oh I'm fine" I said trying to ease her worries.

I saw Amber in the kitchen. She was talking with her friends. I noticed her pull something shiny out of her purse and pour it into her cup. Was that a flask? So Amber is a liquor person. I expected her more of a fruit punch kinda girl.

I suddenly had to pee. "I need to find the bathroom." I told Julie.

I left the living room. I think I remember seeing a bathroom down this hall. There. I found it.

I entered the bathroom and closed the door behind me, locking it. I pulled my dress up and panties down as I sat on the toilet trying to balance myself as the world was spinning slightly. As a guy I could at least hold onto the wall as I peed standing up.

When I was done I needed to pull myself up using the vanity counter. I washed my hands. I left the bathroom and stood at the end of the hallway and looked into the living room. Julie was dancing with some other girls I recognized from the track team. I didn't see Ron.

Just then a closet door opened up and an arm grabbed me and pulled me into it and shut the door.

"Christina" Jessica's voice said in the darkness. "That was too much fun"

Just then I felt her hands go around my waist and pull me in for a kiss. The feel of her soft lips on mine was errotic.

I let her in as I opened my mouth a little and started caressing her tongue. This was so good. I can't remember the last time I had a spontaneous make-out session.

As we were making out I felt her hand ride up my dress and grab my ass. I followed suit as my hands moved under her cheer skirt.

I tripped on something in this closet as I went through various coats and stuff. My back went against the closet wall. Maybe Jess just pinned me here.

One of her hands moved and started petting me through my panties. I let out a moan.

I was conflicted. Part of me so desperately wanted this. Needed this. But I couldn't let this go on. Not here. Not now.

She bit my lip as her finger pushed on my clit through the panty fabric. I let out another moan. "Jess. We can't"

"You're so hot." She said. "Fay doesn't deserve you. Guys don't deserve you."

I moved her hand away from my wet panties. "Not here. Please."

We both were panting hard.

While it was dark in this closet, enough light was shining in for my eyes to adjust and see her face. I looked her in her eyes. "I'm so turned on. I want this. But we're both drunk. We can't do this now."

She sighed. "OK. I'll take a rain check, Christina Demarco."

I opened the closet door and we both stepped out of it. The door swung open and hit something.

Or someone.

I heard someone - a girl someone say. "Shit".

The brightness hurt my eyes. As my eyes adjusted to the brightness I saw her standing right there in a beer soaked party dress. Amber.

She threw the now empty cup on the floor. "You." she said. Then she saw Jessica. "Jess?"

"Now you're stealing my friends? Bitch." Amber yelled. The crowd started to quiet and turn to us. The room was spinning. This wasn't good.

"It's not like that Amber." I heard Jessica said.

"Fucking lesbian cunt!" Amber said pushing me. I almost lost my balance but was able to brace myself against the closet door. Just then someone stopped the music and everyone was watching us.

"Amber." I said. I struggled to form coherent sentences. "Just mind your own fucking business." The room was still spinning. It's like Amber was a silhouette against a kaleidoscope.

Just then Amber slapped me across the face. The sound of a hand across my face echoed across the room. I could hear people gasp.

That sobered me - for at least 10 seconds. I remembered everything Amber did to me over the last 4 days. I remembered Fay rejecting me. It was all Amber's fault. I can feel my fists ball. My inner voice was telling me to stop. I was staring down Amber. "Stop Tony. You don't hit girls." My cheek was burning. The room was swirling. I couldn't stop the next thought from forming. "But Christina does." I had lost control.

I punched Amber right in the face. Amber was sent backwards and landed on her back.

Everything was a blur. But Julie ran to me "Come on Chris, let's go outside."

I heard people talking but I couldn't make out the conversation. I turned and looked as Amber's friends were tending to her. I think I saw a bloody nose. Julie led me to the front yard where she sat me on a porch step.

"Stay right here" she said as she left.

* * *

I saw people come and go. It was a blur. I could feel the world spinning around me. Car horns were blaring as people were yelling and chanting and cheering. It was hard to think. I saw Amber being escorted out of the party by Brittany and Jessica. Amber's face covered in a bloody towel. Amber turned her head to me and we both stared at each for a brief moment before Brittany forced Amber to look straight ahead.

I heard Ron's voice.

"Here she is." he said. Standing in front of me was Ron - and Chase?

"What's he doing here?" I heard myself say. I tried to stand up, but Ron held me down

"Shh." Ron said. "Don't move too quickly. I told him we'd be here."

Ron and Chase were talking to each other. I think Julie was there too. I could only make out every other world. I heard "stubborn," "drunk", "help", "phone number." Julie said something to Ron. "Call me when she gets home."

No this isn't right. I'm 37 years old. I can take care of myself. This is so embarrassing. Did I say that or think that?

Julie sat down next to me. "Chris. Can you hear me? Ron and his friend are going to take you home now."

"I'm so sorry." I said to Julie. "I'm a total embarrassment."

"Shh." she said. "It's OK. You totally made this party awesome. Everyone is talking about Chris Demarco, the girl who knocked Amber the head cheerleader on her ass. Maybe next time we don't drink so much, K?"

I felt two pairs of arms lift me up off the porch. It was Ron and Chase. What's that smell? Is that Chase's cologne? "Chase you smell good" I managed to say.

I felt a hand rubbing my back. "It's OK." Julie said. "Just take it easy"

We started walking. My legs felt like jelly. "Wait, where's my heels?" I asked. Did I lose them? I don't remember taking them off. "Wait, where's my cell phone?" I said.

I felt the arms pull me into Ron's truck and the door shut. "I'm sorry, Ron." I said. "You were right." Oh God. What are my parents gonna think? That's when I blacked out.